Life is precious... part 2
Baby Bear and I went to a shower for baby Alex's Mommy today. She looked terrific, and had great news about her son. He is still in the NICU, but is not hooked up to as many machines. He weighs 3 lbs. 1 oz. and is 15 1/2 inches long. He's come a long way since July 30th! They hope he will be ready to go home by his original due date, October 29th.
I was so proud of how relaxed she is, she seems to be just taking things in stride. It turns out that they had to deliver her baby in order to save her life. Her body was reacting negatively to the pregnancy, her liver began to shut down (I think she called it HELP syndrome?, She also had pre-eclampsia). Her milk never came in, but he is thriving on formula. Both mommy and baby are doing great! And of course, they received a lot of nice gifts at the shower.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
insomnia
i suppose this is normal wake-up time for farmers. but we aren't farmers. we got to bed kinda late, after an evening cookout with friends from hubby's work. baby bear did really well-i was so proud of how she did not break down, even 2 hours past her normal crash time.
i've had people ask how it feels to be out of my twenties. until now i have not had an answer. i am more aware of symptoms of getting old, like insomnia! other than that, i don't really feel older. it will probably hit me when i go to the gym and the elyptical machine asks my age, and i have to enter "30". but other than some nice phone calls and cards, and schokolad from hubby, it was a pretty regular day.
they highlight of my 30th? napping with my baby bear. you see, she doesn't fall asleep in our arms anymore. and there are times after she wakes up, when i am not ready to get up myself, that i bring her into my bed. this usually results in her climbing all over me and the pillows, pulling herself up on the headboard and playing with the cross-stitch frame on the wall above our heads. potentiall very dangerous. funny thing is, if i put her back into her crib after she has her bottle, she usualy settles down, plays quietly, and even goes back to sleep for another hour or so. anyway, around noon yesterday she began rubbing her eyes. a lot. i was sleepy, too. so downstairs we came, and i decided to see if she would nap with me. she played for 5 or 10 minutes, excited by the cross-stitch and ceiling fan and bright colored box on the floor, as usual. then i wrapped my arm around her, and she fell asleep right next to me.
we are not a co-sleeping family. i made the mistake of reading certain books during my pregnancy that i wish i had not read until later, if at all. they basically teach that it's possible for infants to become too attached.... um, i'd rather have an emotionally attached baby thank you very much. there are certain developmental phases which are inevitable- separation anxiety being one of them. we didn't sleep well with baby bear in our bed when she was little, and she didn't sleep well with us. but when she was a couple of months old, i discovered that she was not going to roll out yet, and began taking naps with her. now she could roll out, i suppose, but it's more likely she'll climb out from under my arm and wake me up in the process. she doesn't fall asleep on us like she did when she was little, either. usually it's best to just lay her down in her crib, where she'll roll to the side or her tummy, often sticking her bottom in the air, and cuddle her snuggly. ironically, on the occasions she naps with me, she tends to nap for longer periods of time than when she's alone in her crib. that makes my heart melt. yesterday it was an hour and a half of good sleep for both of us. when she woke up, she had the most restful, sweet expression on her face, and my heart melted again. happy birthday to mommy.
i suppose this is normal wake-up time for farmers. but we aren't farmers. we got to bed kinda late, after an evening cookout with friends from hubby's work. baby bear did really well-i was so proud of how she did not break down, even 2 hours past her normal crash time.
i've had people ask how it feels to be out of my twenties. until now i have not had an answer. i am more aware of symptoms of getting old, like insomnia! other than that, i don't really feel older. it will probably hit me when i go to the gym and the elyptical machine asks my age, and i have to enter "30". but other than some nice phone calls and cards, and schokolad from hubby, it was a pretty regular day.
they highlight of my 30th? napping with my baby bear. you see, she doesn't fall asleep in our arms anymore. and there are times after she wakes up, when i am not ready to get up myself, that i bring her into my bed. this usually results in her climbing all over me and the pillows, pulling herself up on the headboard and playing with the cross-stitch frame on the wall above our heads. potentiall very dangerous. funny thing is, if i put her back into her crib after she has her bottle, she usualy settles down, plays quietly, and even goes back to sleep for another hour or so. anyway, around noon yesterday she began rubbing her eyes. a lot. i was sleepy, too. so downstairs we came, and i decided to see if she would nap with me. she played for 5 or 10 minutes, excited by the cross-stitch and ceiling fan and bright colored box on the floor, as usual. then i wrapped my arm around her, and she fell asleep right next to me.
we are not a co-sleeping family. i made the mistake of reading certain books during my pregnancy that i wish i had not read until later, if at all. they basically teach that it's possible for infants to become too attached.... um, i'd rather have an emotionally attached baby thank you very much. there are certain developmental phases which are inevitable- separation anxiety being one of them. we didn't sleep well with baby bear in our bed when she was little, and she didn't sleep well with us. but when she was a couple of months old, i discovered that she was not going to roll out yet, and began taking naps with her. now she could roll out, i suppose, but it's more likely she'll climb out from under my arm and wake me up in the process. she doesn't fall asleep on us like she did when she was little, either. usually it's best to just lay her down in her crib, where she'll roll to the side or her tummy, often sticking her bottom in the air, and cuddle her snuggly. ironically, on the occasions she naps with me, she tends to nap for longer periods of time than when she's alone in her crib. that makes my heart melt. yesterday it was an hour and a half of good sleep for both of us. when she woke up, she had the most restful, sweet expression on her face, and my heart melted again. happy birthday to mommy.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
a successful kitchen experiment
after 7 years of marriage, one might think i'd have the cooking thing down pat. ha! while i worked full time, i got away with using that as an excuse not to try new things. my other excuse is hubby. he's from the cheese state, yet only eats it on pizza. he rarely munches on it ads a snack, unless it's meister's garlic dill cheddar. my sil and i discovered early in our marriages that the cardinal sin of making grilled cheese is using valveeta or kraft processed slices. if cheese is necessary in a recipe, only the real thing will do.
he doesn't like mayo-based things either. and he's finicky about veggies. they must be masked by other flavors, ie marinade, lots of salt, pepper, garlic. but no rich casseroles for him, no siree. he scoffs at his mom's chicken tetrazini that the rest of us love. on a good day he'll taste it.
so i've spent a few years making the same old things over and over and over and over again. something began to change about 2 years ago. he began eating green bean casserole. you know, the kind on the back of the french fried onion jar. but wait, cream of mushroom soup is usually something on his "i don't touch" list. ha... he's coming around.
so i tried something "different" yesterday. i made chicken green bean casserole in a crock pot. i threw in a couple of chicken breasts, a can of c.o.m. soup, 2 fresh garlic cloves (crushed with my handy-dandy pc garlic press), a bunch of pepper, and salt. i added a cup of milk and a cup of H2O, but later realized it was too much liquid so i added a little flour to thicken the sauce. about an hour before hubby got home from work, i dumped in a drained can of green beans, and about 1/2 c. french fried onions. i saved another 1/2 c for the end, when i nuked, i mean mic'd them for a minute so they were nice and crispy. then i cooked up some egg noodles tossed in butter, and we were good to go.
he ate a good sized portion! no seconds, but that's ok because he even ate some of the green beans. after baby bear finished her bottle, she boycotted her cheerios and ate some of the noodles and green beans, too.
after 7 years of marriage, one might think i'd have the cooking thing down pat. ha! while i worked full time, i got away with using that as an excuse not to try new things. my other excuse is hubby. he's from the cheese state, yet only eats it on pizza. he rarely munches on it ads a snack, unless it's meister's garlic dill cheddar. my sil and i discovered early in our marriages that the cardinal sin of making grilled cheese is using valveeta or kraft processed slices. if cheese is necessary in a recipe, only the real thing will do.
he doesn't like mayo-based things either. and he's finicky about veggies. they must be masked by other flavors, ie marinade, lots of salt, pepper, garlic. but no rich casseroles for him, no siree. he scoffs at his mom's chicken tetrazini that the rest of us love. on a good day he'll taste it.
so i've spent a few years making the same old things over and over and over and over again. something began to change about 2 years ago. he began eating green bean casserole. you know, the kind on the back of the french fried onion jar. but wait, cream of mushroom soup is usually something on his "i don't touch" list. ha... he's coming around.
so i tried something "different" yesterday. i made chicken green bean casserole in a crock pot. i threw in a couple of chicken breasts, a can of c.o.m. soup, 2 fresh garlic cloves (crushed with my handy-dandy pc garlic press), a bunch of pepper, and salt. i added a cup of milk and a cup of H2O, but later realized it was too much liquid so i added a little flour to thicken the sauce. about an hour before hubby got home from work, i dumped in a drained can of green beans, and about 1/2 c. french fried onions. i saved another 1/2 c for the end, when i nuked, i mean mic'd them for a minute so they were nice and crispy. then i cooked up some egg noodles tossed in butter, and we were good to go.
he ate a good sized portion! no seconds, but that's ok because he even ate some of the green beans. after baby bear finished her bottle, she boycotted her cheerios and ate some of the noodles and green beans, too.
(reposted after an accidental deletion...)
my blog and online identity may be "a wandering heart", but that is not completely reflective of i am. oh, yes, i have a tendency to be scatter-brained, disorganized, even "blonde" at times, in spite of my hair-color. fear and anxiety are more often than i like the thorn in my flesh. i have to surrender those things daily. as i approach the beginning of the 3rd decade of my life later this week, i am thankful for my steadfast friends. i hold my friends dear to my heart, even when time passes and our lives drift apart.these include my dear hubby, of course. 2 days from now will be the 8th anniversary of our first meeting. he met 2 of our mutual friends after they left our university to move to memphis. my apartment-mates and i decided to go visit those friends before the semester really got going.... we met them and a group of some of their memphian friends at what happens to be one of my favorite chain restaurants because i LOVE seafood... the funny thing is, i didn't eat much that night. and i really only got to know one of their friends that night, despite the fact that the dinner group included at least 10 people.7 years and 363 days later, the man i began falling in love with at first meeting and i are a family (with one baby). way back then, our relationship grew quickly and we adopted a motto "we either trust or we don't". this referred to trusting our Lord to answer all our questions in His time and give us guidance, but quickly expanded to trusting one another as our relationship deepened. God gave me a man whose steadfast heart has repeatedly overwhelmed and calmed me.yesterday, 3 of those friends who witnessed our meeting and instant connection came to our house for a baby shower (along with other dear friends, of course). all 4 of us "girls" celebrate the same milestone birthday this year, i can't help but to think back on how our friendships have evolved. two of us graduated from high school together, all 4 of us lived in the same dorm our freshman year. we sojourned together as we journeyed from adolescence to adulthood. these are among my closest girl friends. we know the struggles and joys our friendship has brought us.
God has taught me about bearing eachothers burdens and loving unconditionally through these ladies. i will never, ever forget the expression on my apartment-mates' faces that special night as we left memphis. they are the friends who i didn't have to tell that something was "different" .. they knew. oh, they didn't know how different that night, but they knew me and they knew that i didn't normally open up as easily as i had with that guy. they had no idea he would propose just 3 months later, but they knew something was different...
we are friends whose paths intersected by God's grace, and while our lives have taken different turns, we try to reunite to celebrate important milestones. we have been through enough together and apart from eachother to know that no matter what happens, we are not "going anywhere". i hope that no matter where we may wander, our friendship remains steadfast.
my blog and online identity may be "a wandering heart", but that is not completely reflective of i am. oh, yes, i have a tendency to be scatter-brained, disorganized, even "blonde" at times, in spite of my hair-color. fear and anxiety are more often than i like the thorn in my flesh. i have to surrender those things daily. as i approach the beginning of the 3rd decade of my life later this week, i am thankful for my steadfast friends. i hold my friends dear to my heart, even when time passes and our lives drift apart.these include my dear hubby, of course. 2 days from now will be the 8th anniversary of our first meeting. he met 2 of our mutual friends after they left our university to move to memphis. my apartment-mates and i decided to go visit those friends before the semester really got going.... we met them and a group of some of their memphian friends at what happens to be one of my favorite chain restaurants because i LOVE seafood... the funny thing is, i didn't eat much that night. and i really only got to know one of their friends that night, despite the fact that the dinner group included at least 10 people.7 years and 363 days later, the man i began falling in love with at first meeting and i are a family (with one baby). way back then, our relationship grew quickly and we adopted a motto "we either trust or we don't". this referred to trusting our Lord to answer all our questions in His time and give us guidance, but quickly expanded to trusting one another as our relationship deepened. God gave me a man whose steadfast heart has repeatedly overwhelmed and calmed me.yesterday, 3 of those friends who witnessed our meeting and instant connection came to our house for a baby shower (along with other dear friends, of course). all 4 of us "girls" celebrate the same milestone birthday this year, i can't help but to think back on how our friendships have evolved. two of us graduated from high school together, all 4 of us lived in the same dorm our freshman year. we sojourned together as we journeyed from adolescence to adulthood. these are among my closest girl friends. we know the struggles and joys our friendship has brought us.
God has taught me about bearing eachothers burdens and loving unconditionally through these ladies. i will never, ever forget the expression on my apartment-mates' faces that special night as we left memphis. they are the friends who i didn't have to tell that something was "different" .. they knew. oh, they didn't know how different that night, but they knew me and they knew that i didn't normally open up as easily as i had with that guy. they had no idea he would propose just 3 months later, but they knew something was different...
we are friends whose paths intersected by God's grace, and while our lives have taken different turns, we try to reunite to celebrate important milestones. we have been through enough together and apart from eachother to know that no matter what happens, we are not "going anywhere". i hope that no matter where we may wander, our friendship remains steadfast.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
shrinking slowly part 2* & today's ramblings on mommyhood**...
*next goal: maintain current weight and lose 11 more pounds
**if you read baby girl's blog , you will learn of a few firsts... all food related. parenthood is really tricky. my nature tends to push me to take her to the doctor for every little thing. (as illustrated by the first 3 months when hubby was away and i was a nervous wreck about baby girl's slow weight gain- and everything else for that matter). now that hubby's home, he keeps my anxious tendencies in check, especially when any influence on the stretched budget is concerned. my immediate response to baby girl's episode was to drive straight to the doctor. then i decided that would not be appreciated by the nurses. she was covered in formula and pureed prunes. drenched. i decided to take her home, take her temp, then bathe her and make a decision about what to do next. instead of eating lunch at the mall, my friend (who had driven 20 minutes to meet us) and i drove to sonic, where she and i ate while baby girl slept in her carseat (she fell asleep immediately following her episode, like she had truly relieved herself). we sat in the front seat and chatted, then it hit me that if baby girl did indeed have a contagious stomach bug, my prego friend should not be around her. it was a bummer, i had looked forward to spending time with her. but i wanted to make sure my little girl was ok, and at the time i thought we might be visiting our doctor later in the day.
baby girl napped until we pulled into the driveway, then she woke up, and my smelly, wet girl clung to me quietly and calmly. it was like she knew mommy would take care of her. everything would be ok. as i checked her temp, she protested with her usual infant gymnastics attempts. i had to pin her down as if we were wrestlers. until she heard the bath water. she perked up instantly. no, there was nothing seriously wrong with this child. i took off her smelly, drenched clothes and diaper, and as soon as she hit the water, she returned to normal.
the rest of the day was unaffected by the episode. except for the fact that i was the one who was now tired and needed a nap. i continued to watch for signs that something was wrong, but there were none. zilch. maybe her carseat straps had put pressure in just the wrong spot, i dunno.
as hubby and i got our food, baby girl eyed our plates and reached intently. no doubt about it, her appetite was back. so then, as a parent... what to do? what do you do when all other signs point to "back to normal", just 5 hours later. in this case, i decided to let her try to eat. she played with her bits of mac and cheese and green beans and scooped them up to her face. after all eating and playing are the same thing, as hubby reminds me. her face lit up at the flavor. am i destining my child to a life of high cholesterol by giving her southern-style, flavorful green beans? the doc had given approval for her to try finger foods, and at least half of what she tries ends up on the floor, her lap, her shoe... you name it. she eats "good stuff" at home, so i decide that a little mac and cheese and southern style green beans will help her develop self-feeding skills. not to mention keep her content while we eat our meal.
only a parent, or perhaps a pet-owner who is very attached to their animal, can understand the mixture of pride and sorrow that comes from watching an almost 10 month old try desperately to pick up slippery bits of green beans and mac and cheese. it's not even the first time she's had finger foods. but there is a big difference between cheerios, gerber puffs, and food from my plate. a difference far beyond the form of matter. the cause of my pride and sadness is the same. she is growing up. every day brings a new step, a new expression, and a new decision about what my child is ready to do. i can influence some things... like food choices... but i am sad because as she grows into a toddler and a little girl, i don't want to forget my sweet, cuddly, dependent baby girl.
*next goal: maintain current weight and lose 11 more pounds
**if you read baby girl's blog , you will learn of a few firsts... all food related. parenthood is really tricky. my nature tends to push me to take her to the doctor for every little thing. (as illustrated by the first 3 months when hubby was away and i was a nervous wreck about baby girl's slow weight gain- and everything else for that matter). now that hubby's home, he keeps my anxious tendencies in check, especially when any influence on the stretched budget is concerned. my immediate response to baby girl's episode was to drive straight to the doctor. then i decided that would not be appreciated by the nurses. she was covered in formula and pureed prunes. drenched. i decided to take her home, take her temp, then bathe her and make a decision about what to do next. instead of eating lunch at the mall, my friend (who had driven 20 minutes to meet us) and i drove to sonic, where she and i ate while baby girl slept in her carseat (she fell asleep immediately following her episode, like she had truly relieved herself). we sat in the front seat and chatted, then it hit me that if baby girl did indeed have a contagious stomach bug, my prego friend should not be around her. it was a bummer, i had looked forward to spending time with her. but i wanted to make sure my little girl was ok, and at the time i thought we might be visiting our doctor later in the day.
baby girl napped until we pulled into the driveway, then she woke up, and my smelly, wet girl clung to me quietly and calmly. it was like she knew mommy would take care of her. everything would be ok. as i checked her temp, she protested with her usual infant gymnastics attempts. i had to pin her down as if we were wrestlers. until she heard the bath water. she perked up instantly. no, there was nothing seriously wrong with this child. i took off her smelly, drenched clothes and diaper, and as soon as she hit the water, she returned to normal.
the rest of the day was unaffected by the episode. except for the fact that i was the one who was now tired and needed a nap. i continued to watch for signs that something was wrong, but there were none. zilch. maybe her carseat straps had put pressure in just the wrong spot, i dunno.
as hubby and i got our food, baby girl eyed our plates and reached intently. no doubt about it, her appetite was back. so then, as a parent... what to do? what do you do when all other signs point to "back to normal", just 5 hours later. in this case, i decided to let her try to eat. she played with her bits of mac and cheese and green beans and scooped them up to her face. after all eating and playing are the same thing, as hubby reminds me. her face lit up at the flavor. am i destining my child to a life of high cholesterol by giving her southern-style, flavorful green beans? the doc had given approval for her to try finger foods, and at least half of what she tries ends up on the floor, her lap, her shoe... you name it. she eats "good stuff" at home, so i decide that a little mac and cheese and southern style green beans will help her develop self-feeding skills. not to mention keep her content while we eat our meal.
only a parent, or perhaps a pet-owner who is very attached to their animal, can understand the mixture of pride and sorrow that comes from watching an almost 10 month old try desperately to pick up slippery bits of green beans and mac and cheese. it's not even the first time she's had finger foods. but there is a big difference between cheerios, gerber puffs, and food from my plate. a difference far beyond the form of matter. the cause of my pride and sadness is the same. she is growing up. every day brings a new step, a new expression, and a new decision about what my child is ready to do. i can influence some things... like food choices... but i am sad because as she grows into a toddler and a little girl, i don't want to forget my sweet, cuddly, dependent baby girl.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Friday, August 11, 2006
Life is precious
I just received the news that a friend and former co-worker's little boy decided to come into the world 3 months early. Alex was born July 30th, measured 13.5 inches long, and weighed just 2.5 pounds. He has already gained 4 ounces, which is a huge encouragement.
I was going on my merry way checking e-mail while my almost 20 pound 9 1/2 month old naps, when this announcement hit me like a ton of bricks. You see, Alex's due date was the same as my little girl's original estimated due date, just a year later... October 29th.
"Suffer the little children to come onto me."
I can only imagine the heartache that Alex's parents felt when they realized that it will be a while before they can carry their baby boy home. Not 2 or 3 days like the rest of us... Mommy and Daddy will be visiting the NICU quite frequently, they will know the nurses by name and have their favorites... the ones the grow to trust as though they are family. On the other hand, I pray that as he is gaining weight, God will give them hope. I pray that they will see a miracle and that Alex will soon thrive. He is not the first preemie to be born; we have a similar story in our extended "family", and he is doing great now... almost a year and a half later. God tells us that little children are special to Him. I can't help but think He gives extra grace especially to families such as Alex's.
I just received the news that a friend and former co-worker's little boy decided to come into the world 3 months early. Alex was born July 30th, measured 13.5 inches long, and weighed just 2.5 pounds. He has already gained 4 ounces, which is a huge encouragement.
I was going on my merry way checking e-mail while my almost 20 pound 9 1/2 month old naps, when this announcement hit me like a ton of bricks. You see, Alex's due date was the same as my little girl's original estimated due date, just a year later... October 29th.
"Suffer the little children to come onto me."
I can only imagine the heartache that Alex's parents felt when they realized that it will be a while before they can carry their baby boy home. Not 2 or 3 days like the rest of us... Mommy and Daddy will be visiting the NICU quite frequently, they will know the nurses by name and have their favorites... the ones the grow to trust as though they are family. On the other hand, I pray that as he is gaining weight, God will give them hope. I pray that they will see a miracle and that Alex will soon thrive. He is not the first preemie to be born; we have a similar story in our extended "family", and he is doing great now... almost a year and a half later. God tells us that little children are special to Him. I can't help but think He gives extra grace especially to families such as Alex's.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Infants may have math skills
Even MY baby? She is catching on to peek-a-boo. I would LOVE to find some info on helping develop these skills in babies. My child will need all the help with math that she can get!
Even MY baby? She is catching on to peek-a-boo. I would LOVE to find some info on helping develop these skills in babies. My child will need all the help with math that she can get!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
| Your Personality Profile |
 You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval. |
In case you haven't noticed, I am fascinated by personality tests. Ever since my sister-in-law made all of us take one while we were at their house for vacation last month, I have gravitated toward finding out what the so-called experts think I am like without having met me. Ok, so some tests are most likely not written by experts...
I'm not so sure about the people craving my approval part, but I think the rest of the synopsis is pretty accurate. The longer I am away from working with the public, the more I find myself reverting back to my "old" pre-teaching ways. In high school, I was the shy girl with the long brown hair and glasses. The one that people defaulted to sign my yearbook with, "you seem like such a nice person", which for a good portion of people really meant ,"I forgot you were there half the time." I had my eclectic small group of friends, but I really only got close to a couple of them.
Then came college. It's awesome how God has a way of putting you exactly where you need to be. My heart was set on a private, evangelical school where I had watched my brother grow from a legalist who (in my teenage opinion) thought he new everything, to a believer who knew who his identity was in Christ, and also knew that there is far more freedom in Christ. Scholarships would have covered books, and my parents had instilled a certain level of pragmatism regarding finances. I did not get to go to my "dream" college, except for a brief summer program. So this shy girl from a sheltered home ended up at a small public university in the middle of nowhere. I was surprised to find a handful of Christian professors teaching some of my classes, and a campus ministry became my "home away from home".
I liked college so well that I stayed 5 years instead of 4. Changing majors does that to many of us. I took pride in the fact that I was "pure and moral" as the intro to this post pegs me. Oh, I would not have admitted it then. I had no idea that my idea of salvation by grace through faith alone had "works" and "thank God I've resisted _fill in the blank_
...Fast forward 10 years. 12, really, from when I started college. God has opened my eyes through experience, His word, and other people. The reality is that just because I may think I look like a white rose on the outside, I am as succeptible to rot as all the other flowers in the garden. He has given me friends from various walks of life who may or may not know Him. He has taught me that the faith I have been given is only by His grace, and while I can share and debate, only He can reveal Himself to them. After a point, my message can become a clanging cymbal and push friendships away if I don't truly love people as He loved them.
In closing for today, in review of the blogthing that got my mind spinning, I certainly hope it's not my approval people have ever craved. As much as I try, my wandering heart is not as virtuous as this silly little one-question survey thinks. Yes, Jesus sees it that way because He has given me faith to trust in Him for forgiveness of ALL my sins, but I daily realize how much more I need Him to make me pure.
Friday, August 04, 2006
baby boom
3 precious baby girls have been born to families in our sunday school class in the past 2 weeks, 1 was born to a neighbor last month, and one is due to another neighbor any day now. i was fortunate enough to be able to hold baby "m" when i dropped off a meal for her family.
making meals for other people... in the past, i have defaulted to my homemade chicken noodle soup. it's a classic. but you know what? i am sick of it. especially since i just made some last week. so, i finally dug out one of the cookbooks that my mother-in-law gave me. (The authors of Parenting Is Heart Work would probably put me in the "unmotivated" category as opposed to "strong willed"... i have been given magazines and cookbooks, even bought a few cookbooks, and still i tend to cook the same few things over and over.) i flipped open The Dinner Doctor, and it magically landed on Susan's Chicken Pot Pie recipe. and you know what... i actually made TWO of them. one for baby "m's" family and one for us. and God intervened. he knew my fragile self-esteem could not handle a cooking failure when the dish was to be given to someone else. it was time for me to step slightly out of my comfort zone and make a new dish to bring. disregard the fact that the ingredients are hauntingly similar to my old faithful standby. this required a couple more steps than throwing things into a pot to boil...
around the time i was to begin my adventure in this new recipe, it was still raining. it rained so much that the parking lot to my favorite grocery store down the street was flooded. our power flickered. i prayed. our power flickers a lot during storms, and a couple of weeks ago it was off for 6 hours. And that storm did not include 3 inches of torrential rain in an hour.
so my pot pie ingredients were simmering, and i prayed... and the power came back on. i decided to go easy on the seasonings for baby's sake, but worried that i had still put in too much garlic. i can't resist fresh garlic (not by itself, of course). then it came time for the crust...
i had followed The Dinner Doctor's advice and used frozen deep dish shells. well, the bottom crust was baked, and what were supposed to be the top crusts were stuck to their pie plates. very stuck. i ended up balling them up and re-rolling them. they looked hideous, but you can't have a pot pie without a top crust... that's just wrong. so then i got nervous that because the crusts were made of several patches of dough instead of one smooth sheet, they would somehow taste bad. nevertheless, it was time to bake and deliver. i had tasted the filling, it passed, but i feared the ugly crust would ruin the dish.
the storm subsided, and i hit the road in my trusty silver road warrior. traffic was horrendous. some foolish people had tried to drive through the flooded bluff road and were stuck. after thinking how stupid they were, i hoped they were out of the cars and safe. it took 30 minutes to go what should have taken 15.
but when i arrived, baby "m's" mommy was holding her precious little girl, 10 days of pure newborn life and i forgot about the stupid people driving through creeks (until my return trip home when i passed more of them). both mommy and daughter looked so sweet. memories of last fall came flooding back to me. the realization hit that my baby is no longer... tiny. of course, i know this, but i felt it. i remembered the gratitude i felt when my friends brought us food so we could cherish our little one just that much longer. when i mentioned my concern over the hideous top crust, my friend graciously said something like, "things that look funny often taste best." she let me hold her precious baby, and while my eyes saw anothers beautiful little girl, my heart went back 9 months...
later, hubby and i ate our own pot pie while my no-longer-newborn baby sat in her high chair. she ate a few spoonfuls each of peas and squash before expressing her disdain by knocking the spoon out of my hand. (she is developing her daddy's (lack of) taste for veggies, especially green ones.) hubby dished his piece of pot pie and gave the verdict... it passed! it was edible! in fact, it was pretty good. i should have used fresh veggies instead of frozen, but it was far better than those store-bought frozen single-serving pot pies that you keep on hand for emergencies. i breathed a sigh of relief that our friends did not have to order pizza or scrounge up leftovers and sacrifice our gift to the sink monster. hopefully they and their other 3 children would be able to eat their dinner and cherish the tiny new addition to their family just a wee bit more because of their pot pie.
and while i loved holding baby "m", no, i am not itching to add to the baby boom any time soon. i want to cherish every moment with my no-longer-newborn-baby.
3 precious baby girls have been born to families in our sunday school class in the past 2 weeks, 1 was born to a neighbor last month, and one is due to another neighbor any day now. i was fortunate enough to be able to hold baby "m" when i dropped off a meal for her family.
making meals for other people... in the past, i have defaulted to my homemade chicken noodle soup. it's a classic. but you know what? i am sick of it. especially since i just made some last week. so, i finally dug out one of the cookbooks that my mother-in-law gave me. (The authors of Parenting Is Heart Work would probably put me in the "unmotivated" category as opposed to "strong willed"... i have been given magazines and cookbooks, even bought a few cookbooks, and still i tend to cook the same few things over and over.) i flipped open The Dinner Doctor, and it magically landed on Susan's Chicken Pot Pie recipe. and you know what... i actually made TWO of them. one for baby "m's" family and one for us. and God intervened. he knew my fragile self-esteem could not handle a cooking failure when the dish was to be given to someone else. it was time for me to step slightly out of my comfort zone and make a new dish to bring. disregard the fact that the ingredients are hauntingly similar to my old faithful standby. this required a couple more steps than throwing things into a pot to boil...
around the time i was to begin my adventure in this new recipe, it was still raining. it rained so much that the parking lot to my favorite grocery store down the street was flooded. our power flickered. i prayed. our power flickers a lot during storms, and a couple of weeks ago it was off for 6 hours. And that storm did not include 3 inches of torrential rain in an hour.
so my pot pie ingredients were simmering, and i prayed... and the power came back on. i decided to go easy on the seasonings for baby's sake, but worried that i had still put in too much garlic. i can't resist fresh garlic (not by itself, of course). then it came time for the crust...
i had followed The Dinner Doctor's advice and used frozen deep dish shells. well, the bottom crust was baked, and what were supposed to be the top crusts were stuck to their pie plates. very stuck. i ended up balling them up and re-rolling them. they looked hideous, but you can't have a pot pie without a top crust... that's just wrong. so then i got nervous that because the crusts were made of several patches of dough instead of one smooth sheet, they would somehow taste bad. nevertheless, it was time to bake and deliver. i had tasted the filling, it passed, but i feared the ugly crust would ruin the dish.
the storm subsided, and i hit the road in my trusty silver road warrior. traffic was horrendous. some foolish people had tried to drive through the flooded bluff road and were stuck. after thinking how stupid they were, i hoped they were out of the cars and safe. it took 30 minutes to go what should have taken 15.
but when i arrived, baby "m's" mommy was holding her precious little girl, 10 days of pure newborn life and i forgot about the stupid people driving through creeks (until my return trip home when i passed more of them). both mommy and daughter looked so sweet. memories of last fall came flooding back to me. the realization hit that my baby is no longer... tiny. of course, i know this, but i felt it. i remembered the gratitude i felt when my friends brought us food so we could cherish our little one just that much longer. when i mentioned my concern over the hideous top crust, my friend graciously said something like, "things that look funny often taste best." she let me hold her precious baby, and while my eyes saw anothers beautiful little girl, my heart went back 9 months...
later, hubby and i ate our own pot pie while my no-longer-newborn baby sat in her high chair. she ate a few spoonfuls each of peas and squash before expressing her disdain by knocking the spoon out of my hand. (she is developing her daddy's (lack of) taste for veggies, especially green ones.) hubby dished his piece of pot pie and gave the verdict... it passed! it was edible! in fact, it was pretty good. i should have used fresh veggies instead of frozen, but it was far better than those store-bought frozen single-serving pot pies that you keep on hand for emergencies. i breathed a sigh of relief that our friends did not have to order pizza or scrounge up leftovers and sacrifice our gift to the sink monster. hopefully they and their other 3 children would be able to eat their dinner and cherish the tiny new addition to their family just a wee bit more because of their pot pie.
and while i loved holding baby "m", no, i am not itching to add to the baby boom any time soon. i want to cherish every moment with my no-longer-newborn-baby.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
insomnia & procrastination...
i almost wrote this at 5 a.m. this morning, but i finally returned to sleep. yep, our little bear woke up at 4 a.m. for a diaper change. thankfully, that settled her down so theoretically we could sleep well. nice theory for me. i thought the random bouts of sleeplessness were supposed to stop after the baby began sleeping (mostly) through the night.
i have a list of things to do today. it made me feel better to write the list, i love to cross things off. makes me feel organized, even if it is just a facade. of course, being the queen of procrastination that i am, the list grows as baby bear discovers more un-babyproofed territory and plays there. cd's/dvd's, paperwork... you name it, she'll find it. we keep meaning to move the cedar chest in front of the fire place to remove the temptation of the bite sized lava rocks. big pillows from the couch are working ok, but we like to use our pillows.
i almost wrote this at 5 a.m. this morning, but i finally returned to sleep. yep, our little bear woke up at 4 a.m. for a diaper change. thankfully, that settled her down so theoretically we could sleep well. nice theory for me. i thought the random bouts of sleeplessness were supposed to stop after the baby began sleeping (mostly) through the night.
i have a list of things to do today. it made me feel better to write the list, i love to cross things off. makes me feel organized, even if it is just a facade. of course, being the queen of procrastination that i am, the list grows as baby bear discovers more un-babyproofed territory and plays there. cd's/dvd's, paperwork... you name it, she'll find it. we keep meaning to move the cedar chest in front of the fire place to remove the temptation of the bite sized lava rocks. big pillows from the couch are working ok, but we like to use our pillows.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
| You Are a Yellow Flower |
 A yellow flower tends to represent joy, friendship, and playfulness. At times, you are childlike, as a buttercup is. And at other times, you are fickle, like a dahlia. And more than you wish, you tend to feel bittersweet, like a marigold. |
Funny thing... one of my very favorite flowers just happens to be the yellow rose! What color flower are you?
Ok, it's time for me to join the world of blogging. I've been scrolling over my sil's, and now my other sil has one. The hardest part for me was to come up with a blog identity other than my initials (which were taken, anyway)... that made it difficult to post comments on their blogs. Then, one day last week, the chorus of an old Chris Rice song get stuck on replay in my brain, and I thought, "that's IT!"
So, welcome to my online collection of random musings. Or today, some that I've borrowed from a songwriter. Now, back to that laundry that needs folding while baby naps...
On the surface not a ripple
Undercurrent wages war
Quiet in the sanctuary
Sin is crouching at my door
Undercurrent wages war
Quiet in the sanctuary
Sin is crouching at my door
I wake to find my soul in fragments
Given to a thousand loves
But only One will have no rival
Hangs to heal me, spills His blood
Curse-reversing Day of Jesus
When you finally seize my soul
Freedom from myself will be
The sweetest rest I've ever known
How can I be so prone to wander
So prone to leave You
So prone to die
And how can you be so full of mercy
You race to meet me and bring me back to life
Given to a thousand loves
But only One will have no rival
Hangs to heal me, spills His blood
Curse-reversing Day of Jesus
When you finally seize my soul
Freedom from myself will be
The sweetest rest I've ever known
How can I be so prone to wander
So prone to leave You
So prone to die
And how can you be so full of mercy
You race to meet me and bring me back to life
So, welcome to my online collection of random musings. Or today, some that I've borrowed from a songwriter. Now, back to that laundry that needs folding while baby naps...
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