I find it funny that my last blog post was shortly after I had officially decided to run a 5k before the end of this year.
I did it. Today.
Did I train consistently? Hardly. I am walking and running proof that something is better than nothing.
Something is ALWAYS better than nothing.
Two nights ago, on Halloween, I laughed as my triathalon running friend and another neighbor discussed our town's upcoming 5k and whether or not they would run it today. One was planning to, with husband and baby in the Bob stroller. Our other friend and I were both on the fence. In fact, I had pretty much decided not to to it by that point. I had slacked on training. Evenings are tough with two kids in school. I have been exercising 1-2 times at week at most for the past 2 months instead of my goal of 3-4.
Something is better than nothing. Trick or treat.
The idea was again implanted in my mind. I remembered setting the goal, telling myself and others that, "If nothing else, there is a 5k that goes through my neighborhood, so I'll run that." It wouldn't stop haunting me. That "what's your excuse?" ghost from past goals and present failures that holds me back far too often. I tried to make the excuses. Then I decided to do it. But I needed accountability. After all, that same 5k has passed my mailbox for 2 years. I have thought, "That's SO great for them. I could never do that." Last year, it was more like, "I just need sleep." This week, my objections were, "I have not trained consistently. I can't find my running belt and I need it to hold my inhaler. I don't know if I can do it. I have not run a full mile yet." (I found it yesterday, and then they gave us another today.)
"I'll just go to Memphis and do the Grizzly House in December." That's the same weekend as my niece's birthday party, not in Memphis. This was my last chance.
Impulsiveness needs confirmation. All my running friends had said find a race, commit. I had held this race in the back pocket of my mind for months, I had no excuse. But I know myself. I am not a morning person, especially on a weekend. I'd rather be sleeping. So what do all passive aggressive procrastinaholics who finally make a decision do? I don't know, but this one jumps on Facebook and enlists other friends. And calls the neighbor who was on the fence alongside me on Halloween night. Trick or Treat. I even set out to do a slow stroll with my 15 month old and did that... 3.3 miles in 58 minutes. (I said I was slow.)
My friends affirmed my decision. Soon, there were 4 of us. I called the event organizers, who said we could have a team rate if there were 4 of us, as mentioned on the website. And I think I dropped the ball and we could have had 5 team members, but I got the #4 stuck in my head and unintentionally blew her off. OR maybe I was intimidated because she is a REAL runner in my mind. (Sorry, other friends, I'm psychoanalyzing here, don't take it personally.) Sigh. Kicking myself because she has been a huge encouragement at various stages of my running journey this past year. Maybe next time.
Anyhow, I am thankful for my support group. I drank water and peed all day yesterday. I went to bed by 10:30 last night. I set my alrarm for 6 and 6:30 am.
I woke up at 4:30, and fell back asleep. I woke up again at 6:50. 10 minutes before registration time. It takes me 10-15 minutes to walk to the park from my house. I had made it clear to my team that I planned to be there to register at 7 because I wanted the T-shirt. My neighbor called as I was getting dressed. She was at our kids' bus stop. My wonderful husband had just made me two eggs really fast, I scarfed them down with some lemonade and a banana, and off I went in the dark. My neighbor met me and we walked the half mile or so to the park together. Our teammates were there, and we registered. I got my number. 3072. My contact lens was inside out. I fixed that, fortunately our park service keeps the bathroom at the park clean enough to not gross me out.
The sun came up while we chatted and waited, and headed down to the starting line. It was a small, friendly town-sponsored race, proceeds going to an educational grant fund and a service dogs' charity. I don't know how many, but my guess is less than 100 runners. We ranged from ages 2 (our neighbors' daughter in her stroller) to 82... ok, maybe not. Probably 72. Young looking 72.
Did I mention that it was a good 1/4 mile walk to the starting line from registration? I had already walked from my house, so what did it matter?
The initial stretch up to my neighborhood entrance is all uphill. My first goal of the race was to actually jog it.
I did. I thought I was going to die at the top, but I did it. My other goals were to run in front of my kids as I passed my house, and finish in under 36 minutes. After taking a walking interval, I ran the 4 houses to them and around the cul-de-sac, then opened my arms and gave them big hugs while my husband took pictures. From our front yard. We had agreed that they would stay home, and as it turned out, baby boy was still asleep. I had not actually RUN 5k since June. I should say I had not actually walked and run 5k. It was barely under 36, and lately my average pace has been between 12-13 min/mile. I walked over that distance in 58 minutes yesterday, albeit a slightly different route. Around 1/3 of the way in, I needed my inhaler desperately. It helped tremendously. I think the cooler air helped, too.
My other first time 5k runner friend and I kept together the first half or so. It was surreal to run my normal route with so many other people. And have people in fuzzy footed smiley face pj's cheering me on. And it was very surreal to hear that my first mile was under 12 minutes... 11 something. By my 2nd mile, I had been running 22 something. That meant my pace was better than I'd expected. I kind of like not having all the techy gear yet, or a smart phone. All I could do was do my best and not worry about it, no clock watching, no guilt tripping, just do it.
The 2nd big hill came just after the halfway point. I tried to run that one, but walked it, as I normally would. I waved at neighbors I did not know and friends I did know as I passed their houses and their kids peered out through their storm doors.
The 2nd half was mostly downhill. A few small slopes, but thankfully no more big extended inclines.
I approached the park, decided to walk.... instead of crawling over the finish line, I wanted to run. So I regained some strength, sipped some water, enjoyed the changing color of the leaves, and smiled as a runner I had been running near passed me and said, "We're almost there... we can do this!"
She passed me, and stayed ahead, but we did it. I pushed harder and faster and experienced that runner's high as I saw my friend's husband waiting with their daughters and he asked where she was. "Not too far back." I kept going. I loved the orange and white balloons over the sidewalk and the HUGE numbers on the time clock as I approached. 34:28 For the first time ever, I experienced that runner's high that everyone talks about.
Trick or Treat?
I'd have to say it was a treat. A big treat. To set aside what so easily entangles and keeps me from pursing goals. To have friends impulsively jump along side and agree to do something less than 2 days in advance. To ignore the excuses that perpetually haunt my mind. To not just meet, but surpass a goal. To give and get hugs at the finish line, and cheer in those who finished behind me.
Yes, my first 5k was definitely a treat. The Krispy Kremes and turkey sandwich and free massage from a chiropractor at the end were not so bad, either.
Saturday, November 02, 2013
Friday, June 14, 2013
step by step
In spite of my addiction to social media, I am fairly technologically challenged. I can get around your basic word processing program or spreadsheet (maybe), but my cell phone is not what's considered "smart" these days and I don't own an iPod, iPad or anything "i" for that matter. I also don't own a stopwatch, or a digital watch of any type. So my "training" to run a 5k has been somewhat haphazard to this point. I am utilizing a website that maps my distances for me and tracks my pace. After I do my walk/run/walk/jog/walk combo of the evening or elliptical workout, map the route, and it does the math for me. I love it. I had been using another site to track my nutrition, but I have slacked off on that. (I just ate a whole mug of chocolate cookie dough ice cream to reward myself for this evening's workout.)
Anyway, mid-week I decided my goal for the week would be to log 6 miles. I surpassed my goal tonight, logging about 2.25 miles with a pace of 13:17/mile. My total for the week is 7.89 miles in 5 workout sessions.
I compare myself to others and am prone to being a "defeated perfectionist." Someone who, instead of relying on the strength of the Holy Spirit to do things, dwells on what they want to do but is afraid they can't do it perfectly so they stagnate.
I am working toward my goal of being able to run a 5k step by step. I haven't chosen an event yet, but my goal of averaging 3-4 workouts per week is becoming a reality. I alternate between focusing on running one longer stretch and increasing my overall distance but doing more intervals of running and jogging.
Step by step.
I have a mental list of areas that I need to improve in my role as a Mom, Wife, and Homemaker. This goal of running a 5k is one that I am tackling with more consistency, partly due to the whole gestational diabetes/prediabetes scare.
Whether it's the running (or wannabe running, in my case), the housekeeping and organization (or embarrassing lack thereof), the intentional parenting and training of my blessings (which I'm also slowly tackling, step by step, although some days it seems like they are teaching me,) or the balancing of all of the above and partnering with my husband as we cultivate our relationship and seek God's will in various aspects of our life together.... it's going to happen step by step.
Anyway, mid-week I decided my goal for the week would be to log 6 miles. I surpassed my goal tonight, logging about 2.25 miles with a pace of 13:17/mile. My total for the week is 7.89 miles in 5 workout sessions.
I compare myself to others and am prone to being a "defeated perfectionist." Someone who, instead of relying on the strength of the Holy Spirit to do things, dwells on what they want to do but is afraid they can't do it perfectly so they stagnate.
I am working toward my goal of being able to run a 5k step by step. I haven't chosen an event yet, but my goal of averaging 3-4 workouts per week is becoming a reality. I alternate between focusing on running one longer stretch and increasing my overall distance but doing more intervals of running and jogging.
Step by step.
I have a mental list of areas that I need to improve in my role as a Mom, Wife, and Homemaker. This goal of running a 5k is one that I am tackling with more consistency, partly due to the whole gestational diabetes/prediabetes scare.
Whether it's the running (or wannabe running, in my case), the housekeeping and organization (or embarrassing lack thereof), the intentional parenting and training of my blessings (which I'm also slowly tackling, step by step, although some days it seems like they are teaching me,) or the balancing of all of the above and partnering with my husband as we cultivate our relationship and seek God's will in various aspects of our life together.... it's going to happen step by step.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
be specific
Our pastor's sermon last Sunday was about Hannah, the mother of Samuel. One thing that struck out at me was that she prayed specifically. The odds were against her, her rival taunted her, yet she prayed from the depths of her soul and dedicated the result of that prayer to the Lord, Jehovah Jireh. After Samuel was born, she literally gave him back to the Lord's service at an age when most of us are just starting to get a glimpse of our little ones' personalities
There are so many applications, the most obvious being waiting for the gift of a child (or another.) I have so many friends who have struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss and perhaps that story will provide some encouragement.
For me at this point in time, the reminder is much more general. Be specific. Pray specifically. Philippians reminds me, "6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Hannah was anxious, but after she gave that anxiety to the Lord (Eli thought she was drunk when she was praying at the temple,) her answer eventually came. How often have I been drunk with uncontrolled anxiety or fear? Sometimes that seems to be my dwelling place far more than life in the Spirit.
There are so many applications, the most obvious being waiting for the gift of a child (or another.) I have so many friends who have struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss and perhaps that story will provide some encouragement.
For me at this point in time, the reminder is much more general. Be specific. Pray specifically. Philippians reminds me, "6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Hannah was anxious, but after she gave that anxiety to the Lord (Eli thought she was drunk when she was praying at the temple,) her answer eventually came. How often have I been drunk with uncontrolled anxiety or fear? Sometimes that seems to be my dwelling place far more than life in the Spirit.
Friday, April 26, 2013
When Status Quo Isn't Good Enough
Anyone who knows me, knows that my battle with allergies and upper respiratory crud are my arch-nemesis. Allergies kick in, asthma kicks in, upper respiratory crud kicks in. Well, in the past 2 years, my older two have been to the doctor for upper respiratory crud 3 times each. They take zyrtec, sometimes it seems to help, sometimes it doesn't. At our list visit, the pediatrician said that studies show that honey is more effective for coughs than a lot of pharmaceutical cough syrups. So guess what we are using for cough syrup? Honey, sometimes with lemon.
About a month ago, my sister in law introduced me to Essential Oils by doTerra. My sister apparently was also introduced to them and has seen her friends' daughter's health improve drastically. Sis calls them hippie oils. And honestly, my first thought of them when I heard about them was the memory of patchouli wafting down the hall from certain students' rooms in the college dorm 17 years ago. I couple of months ago, a friend that I met online also posted a picture of her stash of oils that she was packing in fer toiletry bag for her family's vacation to Disney World. Come to find out they have not been on antibiotics in 18 months. She has been using them for 2 years.
Anyway, my point is that modern medicine is not working for my family. My kids don't even get fevers often, they just get this really bad crud that takes 2 weeks to shake. Like their mama. Antibiotics kill good and bad bacteria. And sometimes it takes 2 rounds for us to knock out the nasty cough.
There has got to be a better way. Will essential oils be part of that better way?
When my introductory kit of lavender, peppermint, and lemon oils arrived, I decided to try the lemon in my water and the lavender on my daughter at bedtime. Honestly, that first night I did not notice a difference. She doesn't fall asleep easily, and that night was no different. A couple of days later, she requested that I massage her feet with those oils again. And again the next night. Both of those nights, she did settle and stay asleep better.
My personal usage... well, I have simultaneously begun drinking more water and using coconut oil in my coffee, so who knows. But the past 2 days, my mid-afternoon pick me up of lemon water and peppermint oil inhalation have certainly not hurt. I didn't even feel like I needed a nap yesterday. Coincidence? I don't know.
But status quo is not good enough, so in conjunction with trying to eat right and exercise, it's worth a shot.
About a month ago, my sister in law introduced me to Essential Oils by doTerra. My sister apparently was also introduced to them and has seen her friends' daughter's health improve drastically. Sis calls them hippie oils. And honestly, my first thought of them when I heard about them was the memory of patchouli wafting down the hall from certain students' rooms in the college dorm 17 years ago. I couple of months ago, a friend that I met online also posted a picture of her stash of oils that she was packing in fer toiletry bag for her family's vacation to Disney World. Come to find out they have not been on antibiotics in 18 months. She has been using them for 2 years.
Anyway, my point is that modern medicine is not working for my family. My kids don't even get fevers often, they just get this really bad crud that takes 2 weeks to shake. Like their mama. Antibiotics kill good and bad bacteria. And sometimes it takes 2 rounds for us to knock out the nasty cough.
There has got to be a better way. Will essential oils be part of that better way?
When my introductory kit of lavender, peppermint, and lemon oils arrived, I decided to try the lemon in my water and the lavender on my daughter at bedtime. Honestly, that first night I did not notice a difference. She doesn't fall asleep easily, and that night was no different. A couple of days later, she requested that I massage her feet with those oils again. And again the next night. Both of those nights, she did settle and stay asleep better.
My personal usage... well, I have simultaneously begun drinking more water and using coconut oil in my coffee, so who knows. But the past 2 days, my mid-afternoon pick me up of lemon water and peppermint oil inhalation have certainly not hurt. I didn't even feel like I needed a nap yesterday. Coincidence? I don't know.
But status quo is not good enough, so in conjunction with trying to eat right and exercise, it's worth a shot.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Flashback
http://awanderingheart.blogspot.com/2009/03/training-has-begun-ive-been-doing-my.html
The last time I said I wanted to do a 5k... in 2009.
The last time I said I wanted to do a 5k... in 2009.
perhaps it's time to revive an old dream, instead
In 2009, I decided I wanted to try to run a 5k. I don't know what happened, or how that dream fizzled, or when I stopped believing it was worth the effort involved. But I did. Or maybe, I just didn't think I COULD do it, so why bother?
Fast forward... my cousin, who I mentioned yesterday... caught the dream. With an awesome, trusted friend mentoring her, she trained relentlessly. Then injury delayed her dream of running the Boston Marathon just 1 year after finishing the BAA 5k. (Read her guest post over at Middle Places... it is awesome.)
I ran tonight. Not just on the elliptical in the basement. After dinner, I left the kids with Daddy and ran out my front door. I didn't stop for almost 1/2 mile. And then I walked briskly home. I haven't run a mile since PE in high school. I probably have not run 1/2 mile since then, either.
Freshman year... 1991... that was a long time ago. A couple of years before that, I had wanted to try to run middle school track. Alas, some grades dropped from A's to B's, my asthma and allergies kicked in, and instead of figuring out how to manage them, I quit before the first meet. (What ever happened to "I don't expect perfection, I appreciate the effort," the mantra that I heard growing up? I guess it did not really apply to athletics in our house.)
Anyway... the run felt good. My goal is to run farther every time I get out there (3 times a week to start?) and not worry about speed. Even if it's just 10 yards farther. I have an inhaler and I am not afraid to use it.
I bet I could search back in my blog and find posts from 2009 describing my idea of trying to run a 5K.
I do have another motivation in this. Blood sugar. I am prediabetic and do not want to get type 2 diabetes. Nor do I want to HAVE to track every single morsel that enters my body. I love food. I have been blessed with a high metabolism in addition to a long torso for some reason, so during all 3 pregnancies I got funny looks when I told them how far along I was. The 3rd pregnancy, people didn't seem to believe that I could have gestational diabetes, but I did.
A friend told me to choose an event and make that my goal, otherwise I won't actually get around to doing it. So I guess that's the next step.
Fast forward... my cousin, who I mentioned yesterday... caught the dream. With an awesome, trusted friend mentoring her, she trained relentlessly. Then injury delayed her dream of running the Boston Marathon just 1 year after finishing the BAA 5k. (Read her guest post over at Middle Places... it is awesome.)
I ran tonight. Not just on the elliptical in the basement. After dinner, I left the kids with Daddy and ran out my front door. I didn't stop for almost 1/2 mile. And then I walked briskly home. I haven't run a mile since PE in high school. I probably have not run 1/2 mile since then, either.
Freshman year... 1991... that was a long time ago. A couple of years before that, I had wanted to try to run middle school track. Alas, some grades dropped from A's to B's, my asthma and allergies kicked in, and instead of figuring out how to manage them, I quit before the first meet. (What ever happened to "I don't expect perfection, I appreciate the effort," the mantra that I heard growing up? I guess it did not really apply to athletics in our house.)
Anyway... the run felt good. My goal is to run farther every time I get out there (3 times a week to start?) and not worry about speed. Even if it's just 10 yards farther. I have an inhaler and I am not afraid to use it.
I bet I could search back in my blog and find posts from 2009 describing my idea of trying to run a 5K.
I do have another motivation in this. Blood sugar. I am prediabetic and do not want to get type 2 diabetes. Nor do I want to HAVE to track every single morsel that enters my body. I love food. I have been blessed with a high metabolism in addition to a long torso for some reason, so during all 3 pregnancies I got funny looks when I told them how far along I was. The 3rd pregnancy, people didn't seem to believe that I could have gestational diabetes, but I did.
A friend told me to choose an event and make that my goal, otherwise I won't actually get around to doing it. So I guess that's the next step.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
it's time for a new goal
I write this at risk of being a little too transparent, but I'm going to do it anyway.
My cousin Marissa was supposed to run the Boston Marathon this week. Alas, she had an injury that kept her from running, so she, her husband, and my Uncle went to the route to support our friend Lisa, Lisa's husband, and Lisa's Dad. Thank the Lord, they are all okay. Lisa's husband and Dad were within feet of the explosions, they are fine. If Marissa had been running, my Uncle, Aunt and Marissa's sweet babies might have been in the area that was blown to shreds, and her finish time would have been around the time of the blasts. Talk about bittersweet divine intervention... who knew a fractured pelvis would turn out to be a blessing in disguise?
Anyway, Marissa and I have become good friends through the years, and part of our journey is that we set a similar goal for ourselves in labor and childbirth. Even though the details were different, having a sounding board in that journey that was not critical and encouraged my choices was huge. A year ago, my cousin ran her first 5K- the Boston 5K before the marathon. She set a new goal and went for it.
Almost 5 years ago, I set a goal to do my best to deliver my son without the epidural. Today I realized that that was the last major goal I've set for myself and followed through on.
That's depressing.
I am the middle sister in my family. Ironically, I have always felt just in the middle... oh, I have done well in some areas. I was raised to do my best, but somehow along the way that translated into just being good enough. Ironic.
So, it's time for a new goal. Or maybe a couple. I am notorious for having ideas (I cannot really call them goals) and not following through. Perhaps it's fallout from that era of legalism in which I felt I could never be good enough so I would settle for what appeared to be my best, I don't know. Perhaps it's from not really having an example of setting goals other than getting the house clean and taking care of the kids. Those are good things, and I am thankful for my Mom, but I wish she had taken time to cultivate personal interests in addition to the home and garden. I think it would have been good for her... the example of having goals set by other people in front of me would have been good.
Now it's my turn to show my 7 year old daughter than being a stay at home Mom does not mean that is all I do. Who coined that phrase, anyway? I don't work outside the home, I don't go to school... instead of focusing on the "don't" it's time to find my drive to "do." Including the housework. Have I mentioned I really hate housework?
My cousin Marissa was supposed to run the Boston Marathon this week. Alas, she had an injury that kept her from running, so she, her husband, and my Uncle went to the route to support our friend Lisa, Lisa's husband, and Lisa's Dad. Thank the Lord, they are all okay. Lisa's husband and Dad were within feet of the explosions, they are fine. If Marissa had been running, my Uncle, Aunt and Marissa's sweet babies might have been in the area that was blown to shreds, and her finish time would have been around the time of the blasts. Talk about bittersweet divine intervention... who knew a fractured pelvis would turn out to be a blessing in disguise?
Anyway, Marissa and I have become good friends through the years, and part of our journey is that we set a similar goal for ourselves in labor and childbirth. Even though the details were different, having a sounding board in that journey that was not critical and encouraged my choices was huge. A year ago, my cousin ran her first 5K- the Boston 5K before the marathon. She set a new goal and went for it.
Almost 5 years ago, I set a goal to do my best to deliver my son without the epidural. Today I realized that that was the last major goal I've set for myself and followed through on.
That's depressing.
I am the middle sister in my family. Ironically, I have always felt just in the middle... oh, I have done well in some areas. I was raised to do my best, but somehow along the way that translated into just being good enough. Ironic.
So, it's time for a new goal. Or maybe a couple. I am notorious for having ideas (I cannot really call them goals) and not following through. Perhaps it's fallout from that era of legalism in which I felt I could never be good enough so I would settle for what appeared to be my best, I don't know. Perhaps it's from not really having an example of setting goals other than getting the house clean and taking care of the kids. Those are good things, and I am thankful for my Mom, but I wish she had taken time to cultivate personal interests in addition to the home and garden. I think it would have been good for her... the example of having goals set by other people in front of me would have been good.
Now it's my turn to show my 7 year old daughter than being a stay at home Mom does not mean that is all I do. Who coined that phrase, anyway? I don't work outside the home, I don't go to school... instead of focusing on the "don't" it's time to find my drive to "do." Including the housework. Have I mentioned I really hate housework?
Thursday, March 21, 2013
elementary decisions
My daughter is 3/4 of the way through first grade. Her birthday is at the end of October, so I did not have to choose whether or not she was ready. She went when she was almost 6, at the time the enrollment cutoff on our state was September 30th so she was not allowed to go when she was almost 5.
Socially, she was ready. Academically, she was ready according to the checklist, but let's just say the adjustment to Kindergarten... 7:45 to 12:00 noon kindergarten at that, not a FULL day, was a challenge.
This year, the school system changed kindergarten hours to 7:45 to 2:30, just like the other elementary students. This coming year, the enrollment cutoff is August 30th. The next school year, the enrollment cutoff will be August 15th. Why not just change it to August 15th and be done with it? My middle child's birthday falls in between those to August dates, as did my own birthday.
I honestly don't think I ever realized I was among the youngest in my class until I went to college. It just did not seem significant. Yeah, so some people drove first, and I recognized that. But it didn't matter. We were in the same grade, I made decent grades. I WAS shy and quiet and everyone told me so in my yearbooks, except for a few closer friends. At my 10 year high school reunion there was at least one guy who swore he would have remembered me. (Let me flash my wedding ring on your face. I remember you, er, your face, and from what I remember there is a reason you don't remember me. I wasn't your type, nor am I now. Our class was small, but we did not hang out with the same people most of the time.) Anyway, I did well academically, I struggled with confidence but made a few close friends and had a lot of acquaintances. My young-ish age was not an issue.
Fast forward 30-ish years. The current trend in our vicinity is to hold a kid back. At first glance, it seems like an age issue. Digging deeper, the nuances of social and academic development and the combination of expectations, large class sizes in public classrooms, and individual needs of each student are at the heart of the decision. I know more people whose kids, especially boys, started kindergarten closer to their 6th birthday than 5th. And every single one of them is glad they delayed.
But is that what's best for my child? Looking back, my daughter needed the extra year. God knew that when He decided my body should cooperate and get pregnant. She was not (and still is not) interested in reading much. She enjoys to be read to, but to ask her to read, well, she enjoys wiggling her loose teeth far more. She is a people pleaser. She usually does her best because she wants those in authority to be happy, she wants other kids to like her. Just tonight, we had the conversation that ended with me telling her that while it is nice that she throws away another student's trash for him after snack, if she does not want to, it is ok for her to make him do it. And better yet, she should ask him to return the favor some time. She has a servant's heart, but I don't want her getting stepped all over. I also told her she should at least ask him to say "thank you" if she doesn't mind helping him out every day. Manners are important.
She came home from Kindergarten last year exhausted, and the adjustment to the intensity and expectations of 1st grade has been even more harsh. She mourns that fact that she does not get all "E's" for excellent but has several "S's." I tell her that we are proud of her and the most important thing is that she is doing her best. Her teacher even said she is a good example for other kids on her last report card. She is my child who napped until she was 4 1/2. Yes, it is a good thing her birthday kept her from going to Kindergarten before she turned 5.
My middle child... my first son. He quit napping by the time he turned 3. Nap time became rest time, which was really quiet time to look at books or play quietly and let mommy have a break (or even a nap.) He is pre-reading... identifying initial consonant sounds 50 times a day or more, asking how words are spelled, and using his Tag Reading Pen, which he calls his Magic Pen, to read to him when I don't have time. He wants to go to kindergarten, or he thinks he does. He can count from 0-30, with a couple of slips here or there. He knows his alphabet and the sounds they make, although I am not sure if he can distinguish between the ones that look alike but are just reversed when they are not in a word yet. He writes his name, shaky, sometimes backwards, but he is on his way to mastering it. He ASKS to do his Homework books (workbooks from the Dollar Tree.)
But... at his evaluation last month, just prior to enrollment time for preschool and Pre-K next fall, his teacher recommended giving him the gift of time. His motor skills need improvement, and a full day at school will wear an adult out, not just a kid. (I remember the first week of the school year as a high school teacher. Pain.) IF he happens to be interested in an activity, he will focus, but he absolutely will not if he is not interested. But he will randomly tell you a story or he may make a connection to that activity 30 minutes later, so he was paying more attention than you think.
I have agonized over this decision. He is the youngest in his preschool class... in fact, one boy turned 5 just after school started but his Mom did not want him to go to Kindergarten yet, and she also did not want him in a 5 day Pre-K. I a with her on that. If it's the gift of time, why am I going to give him the gift of 5 days in a classroom, even if they ARE just 3 hours... why not keep him home with me part of the time? I have talked to friends, his nursery teachers at church, the director of his preschool, his classmates parents, anyone who would listen. And I have noticed things about him. How he has begun to cling to my leg when I drop him off. How he craves my affection and attention and tells me I'm the only Mama God gave him. This morning he was excited that he did not have to go to school, even though her really does love his preschool. "Yes! I get to stay home and hang out with you, Mama!" How 7 times out of 10, his crafts are either incomplete or scribble scrabble when I pick him up from church nursery because he would rather play with toys. How I have to ask him to try to color in the lines in his coloring books (then he gets all creative and uses different colors within the sections... works for me, I love that.) How he still wants me to "dot" his letters to trace when he is writing his numbers in the dry erase activity book or his name on a sheet of paper. How he needs me to put the straw in his capri sun or open his snack or zip up his jacket. (Today he said I could just start it for him, that's improvement.)
I remember how the intensity of Kindergarten picked up last year and she somehow got away with not completing all of her journals, and I hear that expectations have been raised and that will not be so easily accepted anymore. Kindergarten is the new first grade. When I went to nursery school, I remember a nurse coming and talking to us, and then we got to squirt water at each other with syringes (without the needles.) My daughter and I struggled whenever I tried to do school time with her before kindergarten; homework is still a struggle. She's just not that into academics. Art? Yes. Music? Somewhat. She is only 2 months younger than the cutoff date, but that extra year before Kindergarten was soo good for her.
When he does get overtired and frustrated, he zones out. He could think you are looking at him wrong and forget it... We enrolled him in a 2 day, 9-2 program at a different school for next fall just in case, so he will have a spot. The 9-2 will get him used to a longer school day, the time with me and baby brother will be just fine. And the closer we get to that decision, the more I suspect that is where he will be. In the past, Kindergarten teachers were expected to assist in the social development/skills. Now the curriculum has changed so much that the kids are expected to act older than they really are, which is a shame in some ways.
I think I'll let my kid be a kid for another year. At least that's where I am today. Ask me again in August.
Socially, she was ready. Academically, she was ready according to the checklist, but let's just say the adjustment to Kindergarten... 7:45 to 12:00 noon kindergarten at that, not a FULL day, was a challenge.
This year, the school system changed kindergarten hours to 7:45 to 2:30, just like the other elementary students. This coming year, the enrollment cutoff is August 30th. The next school year, the enrollment cutoff will be August 15th. Why not just change it to August 15th and be done with it? My middle child's birthday falls in between those to August dates, as did my own birthday.
I honestly don't think I ever realized I was among the youngest in my class until I went to college. It just did not seem significant. Yeah, so some people drove first, and I recognized that. But it didn't matter. We were in the same grade, I made decent grades. I WAS shy and quiet and everyone told me so in my yearbooks, except for a few closer friends. At my 10 year high school reunion there was at least one guy who swore he would have remembered me. (Let me flash my wedding ring on your face. I remember you, er, your face, and from what I remember there is a reason you don't remember me. I wasn't your type, nor am I now. Our class was small, but we did not hang out with the same people most of the time.) Anyway, I did well academically, I struggled with confidence but made a few close friends and had a lot of acquaintances. My young-ish age was not an issue.
Fast forward 30-ish years. The current trend in our vicinity is to hold a kid back. At first glance, it seems like an age issue. Digging deeper, the nuances of social and academic development and the combination of expectations, large class sizes in public classrooms, and individual needs of each student are at the heart of the decision. I know more people whose kids, especially boys, started kindergarten closer to their 6th birthday than 5th. And every single one of them is glad they delayed.
But is that what's best for my child? Looking back, my daughter needed the extra year. God knew that when He decided my body should cooperate and get pregnant. She was not (and still is not) interested in reading much. She enjoys to be read to, but to ask her to read, well, she enjoys wiggling her loose teeth far more. She is a people pleaser. She usually does her best because she wants those in authority to be happy, she wants other kids to like her. Just tonight, we had the conversation that ended with me telling her that while it is nice that she throws away another student's trash for him after snack, if she does not want to, it is ok for her to make him do it. And better yet, she should ask him to return the favor some time. She has a servant's heart, but I don't want her getting stepped all over. I also told her she should at least ask him to say "thank you" if she doesn't mind helping him out every day. Manners are important.
She came home from Kindergarten last year exhausted, and the adjustment to the intensity and expectations of 1st grade has been even more harsh. She mourns that fact that she does not get all "E's" for excellent but has several "S's." I tell her that we are proud of her and the most important thing is that she is doing her best. Her teacher even said she is a good example for other kids on her last report card. She is my child who napped until she was 4 1/2. Yes, it is a good thing her birthday kept her from going to Kindergarten before she turned 5.
My middle child... my first son. He quit napping by the time he turned 3. Nap time became rest time, which was really quiet time to look at books or play quietly and let mommy have a break (or even a nap.) He is pre-reading... identifying initial consonant sounds 50 times a day or more, asking how words are spelled, and using his Tag Reading Pen, which he calls his Magic Pen, to read to him when I don't have time. He wants to go to kindergarten, or he thinks he does. He can count from 0-30, with a couple of slips here or there. He knows his alphabet and the sounds they make, although I am not sure if he can distinguish between the ones that look alike but are just reversed when they are not in a word yet. He writes his name, shaky, sometimes backwards, but he is on his way to mastering it. He ASKS to do his Homework books (workbooks from the Dollar Tree.)
But... at his evaluation last month, just prior to enrollment time for preschool and Pre-K next fall, his teacher recommended giving him the gift of time. His motor skills need improvement, and a full day at school will wear an adult out, not just a kid. (I remember the first week of the school year as a high school teacher. Pain.) IF he happens to be interested in an activity, he will focus, but he absolutely will not if he is not interested. But he will randomly tell you a story or he may make a connection to that activity 30 minutes later, so he was paying more attention than you think.
I have agonized over this decision. He is the youngest in his preschool class... in fact, one boy turned 5 just after school started but his Mom did not want him to go to Kindergarten yet, and she also did not want him in a 5 day Pre-K. I a with her on that. If it's the gift of time, why am I going to give him the gift of 5 days in a classroom, even if they ARE just 3 hours... why not keep him home with me part of the time? I have talked to friends, his nursery teachers at church, the director of his preschool, his classmates parents, anyone who would listen. And I have noticed things about him. How he has begun to cling to my leg when I drop him off. How he craves my affection and attention and tells me I'm the only Mama God gave him. This morning he was excited that he did not have to go to school, even though her really does love his preschool. "Yes! I get to stay home and hang out with you, Mama!" How 7 times out of 10, his crafts are either incomplete or scribble scrabble when I pick him up from church nursery because he would rather play with toys. How I have to ask him to try to color in the lines in his coloring books (then he gets all creative and uses different colors within the sections... works for me, I love that.) How he still wants me to "dot" his letters to trace when he is writing his numbers in the dry erase activity book or his name on a sheet of paper. How he needs me to put the straw in his capri sun or open his snack or zip up his jacket. (Today he said I could just start it for him, that's improvement.)
I remember how the intensity of Kindergarten picked up last year and she somehow got away with not completing all of her journals, and I hear that expectations have been raised and that will not be so easily accepted anymore. Kindergarten is the new first grade. When I went to nursery school, I remember a nurse coming and talking to us, and then we got to squirt water at each other with syringes (without the needles.) My daughter and I struggled whenever I tried to do school time with her before kindergarten; homework is still a struggle. She's just not that into academics. Art? Yes. Music? Somewhat. She is only 2 months younger than the cutoff date, but that extra year before Kindergarten was soo good for her.
When he does get overtired and frustrated, he zones out. He could think you are looking at him wrong and forget it... We enrolled him in a 2 day, 9-2 program at a different school for next fall just in case, so he will have a spot. The 9-2 will get him used to a longer school day, the time with me and baby brother will be just fine. And the closer we get to that decision, the more I suspect that is where he will be. In the past, Kindergarten teachers were expected to assist in the social development/skills. Now the curriculum has changed so much that the kids are expected to act older than they really are, which is a shame in some ways.
I think I'll let my kid be a kid for another year. At least that's where I am today. Ask me again in August.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)