January mileage (run/walk): 31
February goal: 40
February actual mileage: 50
Mileage since last February: 400!!!!
Goals for March:
60 miles
Lower average pace to 12:00 mpm
Exercise 30 minutes 5 days per week
Drink 80 ounces of water per day
Lose 5 pounds
Showing posts with label running. Show all posts
Showing posts with label running. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Tuesday, January 03, 2017
Looking back to my first Half Marathon
Apparently I never posted after my half marathon.
I did it. 6 months have passed.
It's surreal to think of now, as I dwindled and became rather sedentary.
Regardless, NOTHING can take away the fact that I trained and accomplished my goal of running and walking 13.1 miles.
I did it. 6 months have passed.
It's surreal to think of now, as I dwindled and became rather sedentary.
Regardless, NOTHING can take away the fact that I trained and accomplished my goal of running and walking 13.1 miles.
Fellow Flowers swag from the pre-race expo... a splurge for me.
The symbolism behind this color summed up my race.
Fellow Flowers made sure that even the last women across the line had a cheering section.
Ready to run 13.1!
Pre-raise pampering compliments of Her Madison and their sponsors.
Gorgeous route along the lake.
I'm not sure which lake, Madison has a few of them.
Just when I was getting exhausted, my family met me at mile 9!!!!
The only race they had ever gone to before was my first very 5k, the one in which I ran in front of our yard, the then-baby still asleep, and hubs and the older two cheered from the yard. It was so convenient to have that one go through our neighborhood. Needless to say, having them with me was
HUGE. We live over an hour away, so we stayed in a hotel the night before.
Pre-finish celebration... the end was in sight.
These friends met me. 2 of them, who grew up with my husband and his family and are like family themselves, picked me up at the hotel so my family could come later.
J and L did the 5k and met me at the finish line with my family and also B, who finished ahead of me.
B, the tie-dyed gal is one of those infamous internet friends... we met through a mutual friend, my former running buddy from down South. She ran a half marathon every month in 2016...
I am jealous of all the cool destinations she went to.
6 months have passed already.
With the New Year, I'm looking back at what I did and forward to what to do this year.
Friday, April 08, 2016
New Year, New Goal
Operation 13.1 Before 40
There are days more frequently than I'd like to admit that I'm tired of being a stay at home Mom. It breaks my heart to type that even more than it would break my kids' hearts to read it if they ever would. The degree I worked hard to earn so many years ago seems worthless, and the mundane duties are overwhelming and often thankless. My motivation has waned, and the thought of seeking inspiration from Mom blogs or books makes me want to puke. Unfortunately, at this point I don't know what I would pursue if I did have the opportunity to find a career for myself outside the home. I've spent years cheering on my husband, trying to encourage him, and supporting his goals and dreams, while neglecting my own and having what attempts I've made to do something good for my own well being be pretty much ignored.
I love my family deeply and am very thankful for them, but my identity somehow got buried in the piles of laundry, puke on the bedding, and 5 moves chasing the ever elusive perfect job for the main provider in 16 years. I know that we are where we're supposed to be, and this move has been better than expected, but it doesn't mean it hasn't been hard on us.
This year, I am taking a step to change that. Last year's futile attempt was therapy... clearly that didn't work because I'm back where I started before we sunk hundreds of dollars into that. In fact, the only thing that has consistently helped me feel better about myself and refocus has been my running. So, this year, I'm going to tackle my biggest running related goal yet and hope that in the process, I find myself again. Because quite frankly, I don't like who I am right now. I don't remember who my husband fell in love with so many years ago, but it certainly wasn't the person I am now.
There, I said it. If you know me and are reading this in real life, you can pray however you see fit. It is what it is, I don't expect you to understand. And you certainly can't fix it.
As I mentioned in my previous post/virtual journal entry, running has become a kind of therapy. It has helped me set goals, dream beyond my expectations, and push myself farther than I knew I could go. I have found unexpected friends who have encouraged me when I have felt like quitting, but learned that ultimately, the distance I cover is my own choice. My own calling. In this past year of instability and transition, I ran when I could, which wasn't much.... less than 250 miles But every mile counted. Every mile kept me from giving up.
I know I sound like a sulking teenager, but believe it or not, this year is a milestone birthday. And since I can't decide on a career that utilizes my abilities, and I'm pretty much failing miserably at the homemaking gig and need a distraction, and I just need something for myself (as selfish as that sounds and feels when I feel like I do nothing else right, anyway), I have set a goal.
This year, I'm going to finish a half marathon, hopefully injury free. I may journal my training progress on here occasionally... so that some day, I can look back and see how far I've come... literally and figuratively. Training takes discipline.
That's one of my biggest weaknesses. Oh, I was an education major, I know all about the concepts of goal setting, breaking things down into manageable steps, etc.
I fail at the execution. I'm more like an absent minded philosophy or literature professor who enjoys discussing concepts and ideas.
This won't be easy.
There was a day when I said running a mile was harder than a natural childbirth. Praise the Lord, that day has passed. The farthest I have ever run is 9 miles, and that was a year and a half ago with my faithful running companion who pushed me to challenge myself.
I haven't run more than 4 miles in over a year, and by run, I mean run some and walk some. I will always mean that. It counts. I'm not in it for speed, I'm in it for distance.
I will do it whether or not anyone cheers for me along the route or at the finish line.6 races down and not once has my family met me at a finish line. Not a single one. Not even the 10k. Oh, I tried not to let it bother me. We had family in town, it was early, it would be hard to wrangle the kids, etc...
No wonder I feel like what I do doesn't matter. The most my family could do was step outside the front door and wave as I passed by during the race that went through our neighborhood, which was my very first. Well, it would be nice to be supported, but I'm not going to count on it. Period. I know better. Of course, if I do share this, then if they come, I'll probably feel like it is just out of duty. Catch 22.
Everything has a price.
I'm tired of believing I'm not worth it. Of living like I'm not worth having my own goals and dreams, family comes first. Somewhere down deep in my soul I believe that my Creator loves and redeems me, and it's time to show it. At least, I tell people I believe it. To trust that He will help me reach this goal, and in the process work through some of my other baggage and find healing. Some things cost monetary value, other sacrifices are personal or emotional. It's hard to be a light for others when your smothered by darkness.
While I publish this? I don't know yet. It's raw, it's vulnerable, it's honest.
It reflects where I am at this point and some of what has happened. Nothing is exaggerated.
Operation 13.1 before 40 has officially commenced.... I've paid my registration and chosen my training plan. Bring it on. I'm going to prove to myself that I can do it.
There are days more frequently than I'd like to admit that I'm tired of being a stay at home Mom. It breaks my heart to type that even more than it would break my kids' hearts to read it if they ever would. The degree I worked hard to earn so many years ago seems worthless, and the mundane duties are overwhelming and often thankless. My motivation has waned, and the thought of seeking inspiration from Mom blogs or books makes me want to puke. Unfortunately, at this point I don't know what I would pursue if I did have the opportunity to find a career for myself outside the home. I've spent years cheering on my husband, trying to encourage him, and supporting his goals and dreams, while neglecting my own and having what attempts I've made to do something good for my own well being be pretty much ignored.
I love my family deeply and am very thankful for them, but my identity somehow got buried in the piles of laundry, puke on the bedding, and 5 moves chasing the ever elusive perfect job for the main provider in 16 years. I know that we are where we're supposed to be, and this move has been better than expected, but it doesn't mean it hasn't been hard on us.
This year, I am taking a step to change that. Last year's futile attempt was therapy... clearly that didn't work because I'm back where I started before we sunk hundreds of dollars into that. In fact, the only thing that has consistently helped me feel better about myself and refocus has been my running. So, this year, I'm going to tackle my biggest running related goal yet and hope that in the process, I find myself again. Because quite frankly, I don't like who I am right now. I don't remember who my husband fell in love with so many years ago, but it certainly wasn't the person I am now.
There, I said it. If you know me and are reading this in real life, you can pray however you see fit. It is what it is, I don't expect you to understand. And you certainly can't fix it.
As I mentioned in my previous post/virtual journal entry, running has become a kind of therapy. It has helped me set goals, dream beyond my expectations, and push myself farther than I knew I could go. I have found unexpected friends who have encouraged me when I have felt like quitting, but learned that ultimately, the distance I cover is my own choice. My own calling. In this past year of instability and transition, I ran when I could, which wasn't much.... less than 250 miles But every mile counted. Every mile kept me from giving up.
I know I sound like a sulking teenager, but believe it or not, this year is a milestone birthday. And since I can't decide on a career that utilizes my abilities, and I'm pretty much failing miserably at the homemaking gig and need a distraction, and I just need something for myself (as selfish as that sounds and feels when I feel like I do nothing else right, anyway), I have set a goal.
This year, I'm going to finish a half marathon, hopefully injury free. I may journal my training progress on here occasionally... so that some day, I can look back and see how far I've come... literally and figuratively. Training takes discipline.
That's one of my biggest weaknesses. Oh, I was an education major, I know all about the concepts of goal setting, breaking things down into manageable steps, etc.
I fail at the execution. I'm more like an absent minded philosophy or literature professor who enjoys discussing concepts and ideas.
This won't be easy.
There was a day when I said running a mile was harder than a natural childbirth. Praise the Lord, that day has passed. The farthest I have ever run is 9 miles, and that was a year and a half ago with my faithful running companion who pushed me to challenge myself.
I haven't run more than 4 miles in over a year, and by run, I mean run some and walk some. I will always mean that. It counts. I'm not in it for speed, I'm in it for distance.
I will do it whether or not anyone cheers for me along the route or at the finish line.6 races down and not once has my family met me at a finish line. Not a single one. Not even the 10k. Oh, I tried not to let it bother me. We had family in town, it was early, it would be hard to wrangle the kids, etc...
No wonder I feel like what I do doesn't matter. The most my family could do was step outside the front door and wave as I passed by during the race that went through our neighborhood, which was my very first. Well, it would be nice to be supported, but I'm not going to count on it. Period. I know better. Of course, if I do share this, then if they come, I'll probably feel like it is just out of duty. Catch 22.
Everything has a price.
I'm tired of believing I'm not worth it. Of living like I'm not worth having my own goals and dreams, family comes first. Somewhere down deep in my soul I believe that my Creator loves and redeems me, and it's time to show it. At least, I tell people I believe it. To trust that He will help me reach this goal, and in the process work through some of my other baggage and find healing. Some things cost monetary value, other sacrifices are personal or emotional. It's hard to be a light for others when your smothered by darkness.
While I publish this? I don't know yet. It's raw, it's vulnerable, it's honest.
It reflects where I am at this point and some of what has happened. Nothing is exaggerated.
Operation 13.1 before 40 has officially commenced.... I've paid my registration and chosen my training plan. Bring it on. I'm going to prove to myself that I can do it.
My daughter and I did one 5k together last fall, which was amazing to do with her. I hope she is able to move past her insecurities better than I have as she matures. I hope, at the very least, she knows that her Mom will always be cheering for her in whatever she does, believing she can do so much more than she realizes.
****
4/8/16
I just realized I never did post this. I originally wrote the above in February. Well... here it is. I am pleased to report that 3 weeks into my training "plan" (I use the term loosely, it's quite modified) my completed distances are right on track for where I should be according to my target distance chart. I'm off to a good start. The family is supposedly planning on meeting me at the finish line, but to be honest, I am not holding my breath on that.
Therapy
Approximately a year ago, I sought professional counseling for my anxiety and depression for the first time. I'd like to see I reached some breakthrough and snapped out of my melancholy. Unfortunately, time and circumstances did not really allow that.
What counseling did was give me a safe place. For each session, I knew I had that time to myself, to say aloud whatever I wanted about how I felt, to cry, to yell, to sit and be listened to uninterrupted. It helped. In the middle of the beginning of yet another transitional stage in my life, it helped.
Counseling was one form of therapy, but I have sought other forms throughout the years. For a time, blogging was one. Then I decided it's not really safe to share my deepest, darkest secrets in the abyss of the internet. Before the internet, I journaled. I have several. When I struggled with post-partum depression, that is what my OB/Gyn recommended alongside medication, when the idea of coordinating counseling stressed me out. Yep, it did.
And then came running. Or walking. Both, really. Intentional setting aside of time for my physical and mental health. In addition to the physical benefits, the time to myself has been priceless. Whether it's been through our neighborhood, on a road, on the elliptical or treadmill at the gym, or my favorite, with my running buddy who met me for our first 5k and just completed her first marathon this Winter (while pregnant with TWINS, she's superwoman)... No matter where I am at, if I want to fit it in, I can.
Here are some reasons I love running:
1) It doesn't require special equipment, other than good shoes. Oh, there are tons of gadgets and apps, but really... you don't even have to have a watch if you don't want one.
2) It comes naturally,. Well that's not quite true. I remember posting to Facebook that running 1/2 mile was harder than delivering a child without an epidural. And in all honesty, I still run intervals. My asthma and my joints require that I take walk breaks, and I prefer not to injure myself. So far, so good. I have two legs, it doesn't require extra special coordination. I don't even have to run in a straight line. I also have fairly long legs, at 5' 7", and my stride is long to begin with, which does help. But the more I train, the more I find that I want to press toward that next goal. Once I hit the 5k mark, I wanted to try a 10k. Now I am aiming for a half marathon. Lord know I never imagined that for myself. I doubt I will want to do a full marathon, but I have learned to never say never.
3) It challenges me. I am not a great goal setter. When I was a teacher, I was more of the creative thinker/absent minded professor. In a world where assessments and deadlines prevail, it's no wonder I did not last very long in that profession. Lesson planning is my weakness. However, with running, if I want to improve, I need a plan. I am a procrastinator, but in order to succeed injury free with more difficult goals, I HAVE to take it step by step.
4) It's given me community. I remember sitting in my Bible study small group hearing friends talk about their training and upcoming races and thinking, "I could never do that." Those friends became cheerleaders. Other friends who run cheer me on, and I cheer them on, as we pursue our individual goals. While my own success or failure does not directly impact others (unless I do a relay), the encouragement we glean from each other is significant. On race day, that smile from a stranger, encouraging word, or even sarcastic joke may be just what I need to keep going or push farther.
Online forums through MRTT (Moms Run This Town) offer encouragement and opportunities to meet for training runs or meet in person at local races. Even though I live an hour from the nearest chapter, that online support has kept me from quitting since my move to a new state.
5) It lowers my blood sugar. It doesn't mean I can eat whatever I want, but it does make me feel less guilty for over-indulging. Sometimes. I don't want to know what my A1C would be without consistent exercise.
6) It offers solitude and reflection. I am not a gym rat. I use the gym because I have to until I get acclimated to the Northern climate, and they have child care so I can run without pushing my 3 year old in his stroller at least a couple of times a week. In all honesty, our local gym is a little awkward for me. I am one of the few patrons under 50 because most women my age work outside the home during the times I go, unlike the suburban South where there were lots of stay at home moms. My favorite runs our outside, on a street or trail, where I can use landmarks to set that next goal and get my vitamin D therapy. When I ran with a buddy, sometimes we talked, which was often therapeutic and I do miss, but when I run alone it's me, my thoughts, the wind, and God. Outdoor running or walking is by far my favorite.
Right now, I would rather carve out time for this kind of therapy than any other. It helps.
What counseling did was give me a safe place. For each session, I knew I had that time to myself, to say aloud whatever I wanted about how I felt, to cry, to yell, to sit and be listened to uninterrupted. It helped. In the middle of the beginning of yet another transitional stage in my life, it helped.
Counseling was one form of therapy, but I have sought other forms throughout the years. For a time, blogging was one. Then I decided it's not really safe to share my deepest, darkest secrets in the abyss of the internet. Before the internet, I journaled. I have several. When I struggled with post-partum depression, that is what my OB/Gyn recommended alongside medication, when the idea of coordinating counseling stressed me out. Yep, it did.
And then came running. Or walking. Both, really. Intentional setting aside of time for my physical and mental health. In addition to the physical benefits, the time to myself has been priceless. Whether it's been through our neighborhood, on a road, on the elliptical or treadmill at the gym, or my favorite, with my running buddy who met me for our first 5k and just completed her first marathon this Winter (while pregnant with TWINS, she's superwoman)... No matter where I am at, if I want to fit it in, I can.
Here are some reasons I love running:
1) It doesn't require special equipment, other than good shoes. Oh, there are tons of gadgets and apps, but really... you don't even have to have a watch if you don't want one.
2) It comes naturally,. Well that's not quite true. I remember posting to Facebook that running 1/2 mile was harder than delivering a child without an epidural. And in all honesty, I still run intervals. My asthma and my joints require that I take walk breaks, and I prefer not to injure myself. So far, so good. I have two legs, it doesn't require extra special coordination. I don't even have to run in a straight line. I also have fairly long legs, at 5' 7", and my stride is long to begin with, which does help. But the more I train, the more I find that I want to press toward that next goal. Once I hit the 5k mark, I wanted to try a 10k. Now I am aiming for a half marathon. Lord know I never imagined that for myself. I doubt I will want to do a full marathon, but I have learned to never say never.
3) It challenges me. I am not a great goal setter. When I was a teacher, I was more of the creative thinker/absent minded professor. In a world where assessments and deadlines prevail, it's no wonder I did not last very long in that profession. Lesson planning is my weakness. However, with running, if I want to improve, I need a plan. I am a procrastinator, but in order to succeed injury free with more difficult goals, I HAVE to take it step by step.
4) It's given me community. I remember sitting in my Bible study small group hearing friends talk about their training and upcoming races and thinking, "I could never do that." Those friends became cheerleaders. Other friends who run cheer me on, and I cheer them on, as we pursue our individual goals. While my own success or failure does not directly impact others (unless I do a relay), the encouragement we glean from each other is significant. On race day, that smile from a stranger, encouraging word, or even sarcastic joke may be just what I need to keep going or push farther.
Online forums through MRTT (Moms Run This Town) offer encouragement and opportunities to meet for training runs or meet in person at local races. Even though I live an hour from the nearest chapter, that online support has kept me from quitting since my move to a new state.
5) It lowers my blood sugar. It doesn't mean I can eat whatever I want, but it does make me feel less guilty for over-indulging. Sometimes. I don't want to know what my A1C would be without consistent exercise.
6) It offers solitude and reflection. I am not a gym rat. I use the gym because I have to until I get acclimated to the Northern climate, and they have child care so I can run without pushing my 3 year old in his stroller at least a couple of times a week. In all honesty, our local gym is a little awkward for me. I am one of the few patrons under 50 because most women my age work outside the home during the times I go, unlike the suburban South where there were lots of stay at home moms. My favorite runs our outside, on a street or trail, where I can use landmarks to set that next goal and get my vitamin D therapy. When I ran with a buddy, sometimes we talked, which was often therapeutic and I do miss, but when I run alone it's me, my thoughts, the wind, and God. Outdoor running or walking is by far my favorite.
Right now, I would rather carve out time for this kind of therapy than any other. It helps.
Friday, October 16, 2015
Different House, Same Problem
Insomnia.
Nearly 3 months ago, we moved 700 miles away from our large, comfortable suburban home on 1/3 acre down South to the medium sized Midwestern farm house with one tiny bathroom on two hundred-ish acres. We live 60 miles from the city, 25 miles or so from the nearest Wal-Mart, and 4 miles from the closest village.
So many aspects of our lives have changed. Some have not.
I smiled as my insomnia led me to pull up my all but abandoned blog at 3 a.m. The last substantial post was nearly 2 years ago. I am so glad I wrote it, as my memory has already faded.
It appears that I had an episode of insomnia the night before my first 5k race, just as I have tonight. I am not planning to race tomorrow. However, I just ran my first 5k in our new state this past weekend.
Yay! In fact, I have run 6 more races since my first, including a 10k last Thanksgiving morning.
Clearly, running has not cured my insomnia. It has, however done so much more.
1) It has given me a personal goal.
What started as "Finish a 5k" because if I delivered an 8 pound 9 ounce baby without an epidural and a 7 pound 7 ouncer with half of one, sure ly 5k is not beyond the realm of possibility" has turned into a personal quest to find health as I approach age 40. My current goal: get that 5k time down to 30 minutes.
2) I have children who look up to me.
My oldest has developed a love for Gymnastics. She's strong, and she is driven. She inspires me to encourage her dreams and find my own. My parents were wonderful, but when U was her age, that was an area that went largely ignored. Sorry Mom and Dad, but it's true. Sure, I can play just about anything in the key of C on the piano and fumble through the hymnal. I often enjoy doing so. But piano lessons were a chore, not a passion of mine. My kids see me struggle, and sometimes that struggle becomes success. Furthermore, it is becoming something we can do together. My girl, who turns 10 in less than 2 weeks, joined me for my race last Saturday. She even asked if we could do another race together. Absolutely, my love. That's a PR moment in itself, one that is better than the elusive pace.
3) Running has become my therapist.
During the process of my husband's job change and this recent move, I saw a therapist to help process everything. It was great to have an objective 3rd party listen. She stressed the importance of self care. Physical and psychological. Running is effective in both of those areas. I feel better when I run consistently. My body is stronger, AND as I read my post from 2 years ago, I realized that my asthma has improved tremendously. I rarely use my inhaler during a 5k run/walk anymore. Out here in the country, I have unlimited roads and natural beauty in which to reflect on life, the Creator, or just taking one more step before my next walking break. It's pretty amazing.
4) I gained a new circle of friends, and one closer friend.
The running community is incredibly welcoming. Online encouragement through advanced runners whom I once thought were crazy, support groups like Moms Run This Town, friendly co-racers, and running buddies.
My cousin in Massachusetts as well as my Uncle's colleague became 2 of my strongest cheerleaders across the miles, and I got to run with my cousin on the Cape Cod Rail Trail during my family's vacation.
Initially, my desperate plea for companionship on my first race was met by one newbie and some friends who encouraged us. That fellow newbie is now, 2 years later, training for her first marathon. We became training buddies and our friendship strengthened as we shared life and she pushed me forward on the trails. She even helped us pack up for our move when I was almost too overwhelmed to do it. Who says running is a solitary sport?
Will this insomniac rambling be a blog revival? Who knows. But if you're still here, I'm still wandering along. If you're not, then I have a public journal of sorts. Good night. Rather, good morning.
Nearly 3 months ago, we moved 700 miles away from our large, comfortable suburban home on 1/3 acre down South to the medium sized Midwestern farm house with one tiny bathroom on two hundred-ish acres. We live 60 miles from the city, 25 miles or so from the nearest Wal-Mart, and 4 miles from the closest village.
So many aspects of our lives have changed. Some have not.
I smiled as my insomnia led me to pull up my all but abandoned blog at 3 a.m. The last substantial post was nearly 2 years ago. I am so glad I wrote it, as my memory has already faded.
It appears that I had an episode of insomnia the night before my first 5k race, just as I have tonight. I am not planning to race tomorrow. However, I just ran my first 5k in our new state this past weekend.
Yay! In fact, I have run 6 more races since my first, including a 10k last Thanksgiving morning.
Clearly, running has not cured my insomnia. It has, however done so much more.
1) It has given me a personal goal.
What started as "Finish a 5k" because if I delivered an 8 pound 9 ounce baby without an epidural and a 7 pound 7 ouncer with half of one, sure ly 5k is not beyond the realm of possibility" has turned into a personal quest to find health as I approach age 40. My current goal: get that 5k time down to 30 minutes.
2) I have children who look up to me.
My oldest has developed a love for Gymnastics. She's strong, and she is driven. She inspires me to encourage her dreams and find my own. My parents were wonderful, but when U was her age, that was an area that went largely ignored. Sorry Mom and Dad, but it's true. Sure, I can play just about anything in the key of C on the piano and fumble through the hymnal. I often enjoy doing so. But piano lessons were a chore, not a passion of mine. My kids see me struggle, and sometimes that struggle becomes success. Furthermore, it is becoming something we can do together. My girl, who turns 10 in less than 2 weeks, joined me for my race last Saturday. She even asked if we could do another race together. Absolutely, my love. That's a PR moment in itself, one that is better than the elusive pace.
3) Running has become my therapist.
During the process of my husband's job change and this recent move, I saw a therapist to help process everything. It was great to have an objective 3rd party listen. She stressed the importance of self care. Physical and psychological. Running is effective in both of those areas. I feel better when I run consistently. My body is stronger, AND as I read my post from 2 years ago, I realized that my asthma has improved tremendously. I rarely use my inhaler during a 5k run/walk anymore. Out here in the country, I have unlimited roads and natural beauty in which to reflect on life, the Creator, or just taking one more step before my next walking break. It's pretty amazing.
4) I gained a new circle of friends, and one closer friend.
The running community is incredibly welcoming. Online encouragement through advanced runners whom I once thought were crazy, support groups like Moms Run This Town, friendly co-racers, and running buddies.
My cousin in Massachusetts as well as my Uncle's colleague became 2 of my strongest cheerleaders across the miles, and I got to run with my cousin on the Cape Cod Rail Trail during my family's vacation.
Initially, my desperate plea for companionship on my first race was met by one newbie and some friends who encouraged us. That fellow newbie is now, 2 years later, training for her first marathon. We became training buddies and our friendship strengthened as we shared life and she pushed me forward on the trails. She even helped us pack up for our move when I was almost too overwhelmed to do it. Who says running is a solitary sport?
Will this insomniac rambling be a blog revival? Who knows. But if you're still here, I'm still wandering along. If you're not, then I have a public journal of sorts. Good night. Rather, good morning.
Saturday, November 02, 2013
Trick or Treat- 5k style
I find it funny that my last blog post was shortly after I had officially decided to run a 5k before the end of this year.
I did it. Today.
Did I train consistently? Hardly. I am walking and running proof that something is better than nothing.
Something is ALWAYS better than nothing.
Two nights ago, on Halloween, I laughed as my triathalon running friend and another neighbor discussed our town's upcoming 5k and whether or not they would run it today. One was planning to, with husband and baby in the Bob stroller. Our other friend and I were both on the fence. In fact, I had pretty much decided not to to it by that point. I had slacked on training. Evenings are tough with two kids in school. I have been exercising 1-2 times at week at most for the past 2 months instead of my goal of 3-4.
Something is better than nothing. Trick or treat.
The idea was again implanted in my mind. I remembered setting the goal, telling myself and others that, "If nothing else, there is a 5k that goes through my neighborhood, so I'll run that." It wouldn't stop haunting me. That "what's your excuse?" ghost from past goals and present failures that holds me back far too often. I tried to make the excuses. Then I decided to do it. But I needed accountability. After all, that same 5k has passed my mailbox for 2 years. I have thought, "That's SO great for them. I could never do that." Last year, it was more like, "I just need sleep." This week, my objections were, "I have not trained consistently. I can't find my running belt and I need it to hold my inhaler. I don't know if I can do it. I have not run a full mile yet." (I found it yesterday, and then they gave us another today.)
"I'll just go to Memphis and do the Grizzly House in December." That's the same weekend as my niece's birthday party, not in Memphis. This was my last chance.
Impulsiveness needs confirmation. All my running friends had said find a race, commit. I had held this race in the back pocket of my mind for months, I had no excuse. But I know myself. I am not a morning person, especially on a weekend. I'd rather be sleeping. So what do all passive aggressive procrastinaholics who finally make a decision do? I don't know, but this one jumps on Facebook and enlists other friends. And calls the neighbor who was on the fence alongside me on Halloween night. Trick or Treat. I even set out to do a slow stroll with my 15 month old and did that... 3.3 miles in 58 minutes. (I said I was slow.)
My friends affirmed my decision. Soon, there were 4 of us. I called the event organizers, who said we could have a team rate if there were 4 of us, as mentioned on the website. And I think I dropped the ball and we could have had 5 team members, but I got the #4 stuck in my head and unintentionally blew her off. OR maybe I was intimidated because she is a REAL runner in my mind. (Sorry, other friends, I'm psychoanalyzing here, don't take it personally.) Sigh. Kicking myself because she has been a huge encouragement at various stages of my running journey this past year. Maybe next time.
Anyhow, I am thankful for my support group. I drank water and peed all day yesterday. I went to bed by 10:30 last night. I set my alrarm for 6 and 6:30 am.
I woke up at 4:30, and fell back asleep. I woke up again at 6:50. 10 minutes before registration time. It takes me 10-15 minutes to walk to the park from my house. I had made it clear to my team that I planned to be there to register at 7 because I wanted the T-shirt. My neighbor called as I was getting dressed. She was at our kids' bus stop. My wonderful husband had just made me two eggs really fast, I scarfed them down with some lemonade and a banana, and off I went in the dark. My neighbor met me and we walked the half mile or so to the park together. Our teammates were there, and we registered. I got my number. 3072. My contact lens was inside out. I fixed that, fortunately our park service keeps the bathroom at the park clean enough to not gross me out.
The sun came up while we chatted and waited, and headed down to the starting line. It was a small, friendly town-sponsored race, proceeds going to an educational grant fund and a service dogs' charity. I don't know how many, but my guess is less than 100 runners. We ranged from ages 2 (our neighbors' daughter in her stroller) to 82... ok, maybe not. Probably 72. Young looking 72.
Did I mention that it was a good 1/4 mile walk to the starting line from registration? I had already walked from my house, so what did it matter?
The initial stretch up to my neighborhood entrance is all uphill. My first goal of the race was to actually jog it.
I did. I thought I was going to die at the top, but I did it. My other goals were to run in front of my kids as I passed my house, and finish in under 36 minutes. After taking a walking interval, I ran the 4 houses to them and around the cul-de-sac, then opened my arms and gave them big hugs while my husband took pictures. From our front yard. We had agreed that they would stay home, and as it turned out, baby boy was still asleep. I had not actually RUN 5k since June. I should say I had not actually walked and run 5k. It was barely under 36, and lately my average pace has been between 12-13 min/mile. I walked over that distance in 58 minutes yesterday, albeit a slightly different route. Around 1/3 of the way in, I needed my inhaler desperately. It helped tremendously. I think the cooler air helped, too.
My other first time 5k runner friend and I kept together the first half or so. It was surreal to run my normal route with so many other people. And have people in fuzzy footed smiley face pj's cheering me on. And it was very surreal to hear that my first mile was under 12 minutes... 11 something. By my 2nd mile, I had been running 22 something. That meant my pace was better than I'd expected. I kind of like not having all the techy gear yet, or a smart phone. All I could do was do my best and not worry about it, no clock watching, no guilt tripping, just do it.
The 2nd big hill came just after the halfway point. I tried to run that one, but walked it, as I normally would. I waved at neighbors I did not know and friends I did know as I passed their houses and their kids peered out through their storm doors.
The 2nd half was mostly downhill. A few small slopes, but thankfully no more big extended inclines.
I approached the park, decided to walk.... instead of crawling over the finish line, I wanted to run. So I regained some strength, sipped some water, enjoyed the changing color of the leaves, and smiled as a runner I had been running near passed me and said, "We're almost there... we can do this!"
She passed me, and stayed ahead, but we did it. I pushed harder and faster and experienced that runner's high as I saw my friend's husband waiting with their daughters and he asked where she was. "Not too far back." I kept going. I loved the orange and white balloons over the sidewalk and the HUGE numbers on the time clock as I approached. 34:28 For the first time ever, I experienced that runner's high that everyone talks about.
Trick or Treat?
I'd have to say it was a treat. A big treat. To set aside what so easily entangles and keeps me from pursing goals. To have friends impulsively jump along side and agree to do something less than 2 days in advance. To ignore the excuses that perpetually haunt my mind. To not just meet, but surpass a goal. To give and get hugs at the finish line, and cheer in those who finished behind me.
Yes, my first 5k was definitely a treat. The Krispy Kremes and turkey sandwich and free massage from a chiropractor at the end were not so bad, either.
I did it. Today.
Did I train consistently? Hardly. I am walking and running proof that something is better than nothing.
Something is ALWAYS better than nothing.
Two nights ago, on Halloween, I laughed as my triathalon running friend and another neighbor discussed our town's upcoming 5k and whether or not they would run it today. One was planning to, with husband and baby in the Bob stroller. Our other friend and I were both on the fence. In fact, I had pretty much decided not to to it by that point. I had slacked on training. Evenings are tough with two kids in school. I have been exercising 1-2 times at week at most for the past 2 months instead of my goal of 3-4.
Something is better than nothing. Trick or treat.
The idea was again implanted in my mind. I remembered setting the goal, telling myself and others that, "If nothing else, there is a 5k that goes through my neighborhood, so I'll run that." It wouldn't stop haunting me. That "what's your excuse?" ghost from past goals and present failures that holds me back far too often. I tried to make the excuses. Then I decided to do it. But I needed accountability. After all, that same 5k has passed my mailbox for 2 years. I have thought, "That's SO great for them. I could never do that." Last year, it was more like, "I just need sleep." This week, my objections were, "I have not trained consistently. I can't find my running belt and I need it to hold my inhaler. I don't know if I can do it. I have not run a full mile yet." (I found it yesterday, and then they gave us another today.)
"I'll just go to Memphis and do the Grizzly House in December." That's the same weekend as my niece's birthday party, not in Memphis. This was my last chance.
Impulsiveness needs confirmation. All my running friends had said find a race, commit. I had held this race in the back pocket of my mind for months, I had no excuse. But I know myself. I am not a morning person, especially on a weekend. I'd rather be sleeping. So what do all passive aggressive procrastinaholics who finally make a decision do? I don't know, but this one jumps on Facebook and enlists other friends. And calls the neighbor who was on the fence alongside me on Halloween night. Trick or Treat. I even set out to do a slow stroll with my 15 month old and did that... 3.3 miles in 58 minutes. (I said I was slow.)
My friends affirmed my decision. Soon, there were 4 of us. I called the event organizers, who said we could have a team rate if there were 4 of us, as mentioned on the website. And I think I dropped the ball and we could have had 5 team members, but I got the #4 stuck in my head and unintentionally blew her off. OR maybe I was intimidated because she is a REAL runner in my mind. (Sorry, other friends, I'm psychoanalyzing here, don't take it personally.) Sigh. Kicking myself because she has been a huge encouragement at various stages of my running journey this past year. Maybe next time.
Anyhow, I am thankful for my support group. I drank water and peed all day yesterday. I went to bed by 10:30 last night. I set my alrarm for 6 and 6:30 am.
I woke up at 4:30, and fell back asleep. I woke up again at 6:50. 10 minutes before registration time. It takes me 10-15 minutes to walk to the park from my house. I had made it clear to my team that I planned to be there to register at 7 because I wanted the T-shirt. My neighbor called as I was getting dressed. She was at our kids' bus stop. My wonderful husband had just made me two eggs really fast, I scarfed them down with some lemonade and a banana, and off I went in the dark. My neighbor met me and we walked the half mile or so to the park together. Our teammates were there, and we registered. I got my number. 3072. My contact lens was inside out. I fixed that, fortunately our park service keeps the bathroom at the park clean enough to not gross me out.
The sun came up while we chatted and waited, and headed down to the starting line. It was a small, friendly town-sponsored race, proceeds going to an educational grant fund and a service dogs' charity. I don't know how many, but my guess is less than 100 runners. We ranged from ages 2 (our neighbors' daughter in her stroller) to 82... ok, maybe not. Probably 72. Young looking 72.
Did I mention that it was a good 1/4 mile walk to the starting line from registration? I had already walked from my house, so what did it matter?
The initial stretch up to my neighborhood entrance is all uphill. My first goal of the race was to actually jog it.
I did. I thought I was going to die at the top, but I did it. My other goals were to run in front of my kids as I passed my house, and finish in under 36 minutes. After taking a walking interval, I ran the 4 houses to them and around the cul-de-sac, then opened my arms and gave them big hugs while my husband took pictures. From our front yard. We had agreed that they would stay home, and as it turned out, baby boy was still asleep. I had not actually RUN 5k since June. I should say I had not actually walked and run 5k. It was barely under 36, and lately my average pace has been between 12-13 min/mile. I walked over that distance in 58 minutes yesterday, albeit a slightly different route. Around 1/3 of the way in, I needed my inhaler desperately. It helped tremendously. I think the cooler air helped, too.
My other first time 5k runner friend and I kept together the first half or so. It was surreal to run my normal route with so many other people. And have people in fuzzy footed smiley face pj's cheering me on. And it was very surreal to hear that my first mile was under 12 minutes... 11 something. By my 2nd mile, I had been running 22 something. That meant my pace was better than I'd expected. I kind of like not having all the techy gear yet, or a smart phone. All I could do was do my best and not worry about it, no clock watching, no guilt tripping, just do it.
The 2nd big hill came just after the halfway point. I tried to run that one, but walked it, as I normally would. I waved at neighbors I did not know and friends I did know as I passed their houses and their kids peered out through their storm doors.
The 2nd half was mostly downhill. A few small slopes, but thankfully no more big extended inclines.
I approached the park, decided to walk.... instead of crawling over the finish line, I wanted to run. So I regained some strength, sipped some water, enjoyed the changing color of the leaves, and smiled as a runner I had been running near passed me and said, "We're almost there... we can do this!"
She passed me, and stayed ahead, but we did it. I pushed harder and faster and experienced that runner's high as I saw my friend's husband waiting with their daughters and he asked where she was. "Not too far back." I kept going. I loved the orange and white balloons over the sidewalk and the HUGE numbers on the time clock as I approached. 34:28 For the first time ever, I experienced that runner's high that everyone talks about.
Trick or Treat?
I'd have to say it was a treat. A big treat. To set aside what so easily entangles and keeps me from pursing goals. To have friends impulsively jump along side and agree to do something less than 2 days in advance. To ignore the excuses that perpetually haunt my mind. To not just meet, but surpass a goal. To give and get hugs at the finish line, and cheer in those who finished behind me.
Yes, my first 5k was definitely a treat. The Krispy Kremes and turkey sandwich and free massage from a chiropractor at the end were not so bad, either.
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