Therapy

Approximately a year ago, I sought professional counseling for my anxiety and depression for the first time.  I'd like to see I reached some breakthrough and snapped out of my melancholy.  Unfortunately, time and circumstances did not really allow that.

What counseling did was give me a safe place.  For each session, I knew I had that time to myself, to say aloud whatever I wanted about how I felt, to cry, to yell, to sit and be listened to uninterrupted.   It helped.  In the middle of the beginning of yet another transitional stage in my life, it helped.

Counseling was one form of therapy, but I have sought other forms throughout the years.  For a time, blogging was one.  Then I decided it's not really safe to share my deepest, darkest secrets in the abyss of the internet.  Before the internet, I journaled.  I have several.  When I struggled with post-partum depression, that is what my OB/Gyn recommended alongside medication, when the idea of coordinating counseling stressed me out.  Yep, it did.

And then came running.  Or walking. Both, really.  Intentional setting aside of time for my physical and mental health.  In addition to the physical benefits, the time to myself has been priceless. Whether it's been through our neighborhood, on a road, on the elliptical or treadmill at the gym, or my favorite, with my running buddy who met me for our first 5k and just completed her first marathon this Winter (while pregnant with TWINS, she's superwoman)... No matter where I am at, if I want to fit it in, I can.

Here are some reasons I love running:

1) It doesn't require special equipment, other than good shoes. Oh, there are tons of gadgets and apps, but really... you don't even have to have a watch if you don't want one.
2)  It comes naturally,.  Well that's not quite true.  I remember posting to Facebook that running 1/2 mile was harder than delivering a child without an epidural.  And in all honesty, I still run intervals.  My asthma and my joints require that I take walk breaks, and I prefer not to injure myself.  So far, so good.  I have two legs, it doesn't require extra special coordination.  I don't even have to run in a straight line.  I also have fairly long legs, at 5' 7", and my stride is long to begin with, which does help. But the more I train, the more I find that I want to press toward that next goal.  Once I hit the 5k mark, I wanted to try a 10k.  Now I am aiming for a half marathon.  Lord know I never imagined that for myself.  I doubt I will want to do a full marathon, but I have learned to never say never.
3) It challenges me.  I am not a great goal setter.  When I was a teacher, I was more of the creative thinker/absent minded professor.  In a world where assessments and deadlines prevail, it's no wonder I did not last very long in that profession.  Lesson planning is my weakness.  However, with running, if I want to improve, I need a plan.  I am a procrastinator, but in order to succeed injury free with more difficult goals, I HAVE to take it step by step.
4)  It's given me community.  I remember sitting in my Bible study small group hearing friends talk about their training and upcoming races and thinking, "I could never do that."  Those friends became cheerleaders. Other friends who run cheer me on, and I cheer them on, as we pursue our individual goals. While my own success or failure does not directly impact others (unless I do a relay), the encouragement we glean from each other is significant. On race day, that smile from a stranger, encouraging word, or even sarcastic joke may be just what I need to keep going or push farther.
Online forums through MRTT (Moms Run This Town) offer encouragement and opportunities to meet for training runs or meet in person at local races.  Even though I live an hour from the nearest chapter, that online support has kept me from quitting since my move to a new state.
5) It lowers my blood sugar.  It doesn't mean I can eat whatever I want, but it does make me feel less guilty for over-indulging. Sometimes. I don't want to know what my A1C would be without consistent exercise.
6) It offers solitude and reflection. I am not a gym rat.  I use the gym because I have to until I get acclimated to the Northern climate, and they have child care so I can run without pushing my 3 year old in his stroller at least a couple of times a week. In all honesty, our local gym is a little awkward for me.  I am one of the few patrons under 50 because most women my age work outside the home during the times I go, unlike the suburban South where there were lots of stay at home moms.  My favorite runs our outside, on a street or trail, where I can use landmarks to set that next goal and get my vitamin D therapy. When I ran with a buddy, sometimes we talked, which was often therapeutic and I do miss, but when I run alone it's me, my thoughts, the wind, and God. Outdoor running or walking is by far my favorite.

Right now, I would rather carve out time for this kind of therapy than any other. It helps.