Once again, It's bedtime and I can't sleep.  I tucked Bear into bed around 9:30.  Into my bed, I might add.  It's become customary for her to sleep in my bed when Daddy is away.  When he's home, back to hers she goes.  Until she wakes up at some point in the mid-late morning and sneaks in.  So much for all that sleep training we did on her.  :)

I'm finding that letting her stay up after I put Buddy into bed is good for us.  We get some Bear and Mommy time, something she craves and we both need. 

Still waiting for inspiration for the ultimate blog post or theme idea....

There was a point where I could write about anything and/or everything on here.  Right now, I'm just not feelin' it.  Perhaps it's because it's 5:23 a.m. and I would rather be asleep.  Or maybe, I just don't feel like being brutally honest with the blogosphere and need to write a good old-fashioned-paper-journal entry to process my thoughts.

It's been good having hubby home from training for the weekend.  This stint is much shorter, thank God.  And much less stressful for him.  I love having home.  The kiddos love their Daddy, and he obviously loves them.  It's nice to have someone who will share the hours of being used as playground equipment, and I must confess, sometimes I turn my Mommy self off and let him "handle it."  "It" could be anything from putting a dvd in the player to a tantrum to a diaper change, but it's just nice to have him back to do this part of who he is.  I don't know how military Moms and single Moms do it. 

So, I've had people ask and have been asking myself... what career would I have if I wanted to work in a monetarily paid position?  I don't know.  That bothers me.  I wish I could say it bothers me because I am so overwhelmed with joy where I am at that I would not ever want to be doing anything else.  Nope, I'm actually a bit in the-burnt-out-lost-myself-and-feel-like-I-do-nothing-well mode.  (That might have something to do with the lack of recent posts.)  Don't get me wrong.  I love my family.  But I am not Martha Stewart, June Cleaver, Carol Brady (who had a housekeeper, btw), Rachael Ray or anyone else.  I'm me, whoever and whatever that is.  I wouldn't go back to teaching without getting my Master's Degree, but I can't see myself going back to school anytime soon.  Customer Service?  Umm... so I like to think I was good at that, but I can't say I loved it.  Tutoring?  I miss my kids.  Even though I only had most of them for a short time, I miss their unique personalities, and I enjoyed the networking aspect of managing the center. Retail?  No, thank you.  BTDT.  Unless I got some really cool product along with my wages. And I don't mean samples that I had to buy (even at a discount) for my inventory or show, I mean genuinely free goods. 

I need to go back to sleep.  I actually feel like I might be able to right now. That is a good thing, unless of course one of the littles decides to wake up uncharacteristically early.  :)

Wandering back around...

A very popular networking site has pretty much replaced my blog for a while.  However, status updates are not exactly the same as an entire blog entry.  The just provide a glimpse, and that's about it.  A blog, for me, has been a bit of a journal in the past.  No, I haven't posted my most intimate thoughts here, but I have expanded on some of those glimpses.  Plus, there are certain things I really don't want everyone I know to read.  And I KNOW that not everyone I know reads this.  So right now I am in the process of figuring out what to post where.  I don't want all my FB friends and family to see my exercise log (or lack thereof).  If you are reading this, it means you have stuck around long enough to care (or not) about what I write here.  You obviously aren't going to judge me on my grammar (or lack thereof), my "outline" (or lack thereof- hence the blog title), my frequency (or infrequency), or my maturity (or immaturity).

So, my wandering for tonight....
Hubby's new job is going well.  He's learning a lot, challenged by what he does, and feels like it's a good fit.  Words can't express how proud and happy that makes me.

But... we have to get used to his travel.  For now, at least.  I really don't know which is harder... having him work midnights on the beat in an unsafe area of the city, or just having him away from us for a few days at a time. 

Exercise Log

Tuesday- 15 min Wii Fit, 30 min My Fitnesss Trainer Wii game (MFT)
Wednesday- 22 min elliptical
Thurs- 10 min Wii Fit Hula, 20 Min MFT

The goal- Do something every day.

Bear tried to exercise with me tonight.  It was cute.  She has her Mommy's "coordination."
 ****
Saturday - 20 min elliptical, 3 sets arm weights

observation
Whether people admit it or not, apologetics, i.e. defense of ones beliefs, are everywhere.  Just as the devout Christian will defend his or her faith, an agnostic or atheist will explain their unbelief.
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a·pol·o·get·ics

(ə-pŏl'ə-jět'ĭks)    n.   (used with a sing. verb) The branch of theology that is concerned with defending or proving the truth of Christian doctrines. Formal argumentation in defense of something, such as a position or system.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2009 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
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Moving on...

new year's stuff

fitness- day one
Attempted to exercise using wii fit.  Bear took her turn and then got mad when I took over for myself.  Buddy tried to climb on me and the balance board.  I think I got about 6 minutes of hula hoop in along with my body test.. but at least it said my Wii age=my real age!  Set up "My Fitness Trainer" game profile (age, weight, measurements, etc...) while kids ate a snack.  Did 30 minutes tonight.... tried the yoga on it... like the Wii fit yoga better... way better for telling novices like myself how to do the poses....  did 15 minute cardio workout and 15 minute core strength workout on the Fitness Trainer.  I like it overall... takes personal data and tries to give you an appropriate workout, also asks you how you felt about segments (too easy, made me sweat, too hard).  After the kids were in bed, of course.  Now to get hubby to set up a profile.  :)  I will definitely keep using the Fit for some activities, but the new addition to my limited repetoire raises my heart rate better.

time management- day two
I am completely opposed to over-structuring.  I am also indecisive and often get stuck trying to decide what task to tackle first.  I used a planner through college, somewhere along the way it got buried.  Plus, the Franklin Covey was just too bulky.. even the smaller one that I had.  Not to mention costly.

My little mead planner is working out well so far.  :)  Enough room to jot down what I need to, not enough to be overwhelming.  And it's cheerfully cute.  It invites me to use it.  And the pic reminds me of relaxing, fun times with the family.

Intentional parenting-
Bear is gung ho about her Job Chart/Job Jar reward system that we are trying out.  While trying to set an example through my actions, I am also encouraging her to be more responsible. (That's part of what's behind my whole attempt at some organization and self-dicipline without legalism.  How can I expect her to be responsible if I am on Facebook all day when I should be spending quality time with her, her brother, getting SOMETHING, anything done, etc...)
She even asked to help me fold laundry today.  Sheets.  That was fun.  Oh, but she did fold a washcloth that had stuck to her clothes AND put it in the laundry pile in the living room.  During Buddy's nap time we played Chutes and Ladders, ending with going over the #'s 1-100, since they are on the game board.  Not sure if she really liked the game or not... maybe we should have gone with candyland.


Little by little....

new year, new me... sort of

As you see here, I bought a planner for the year.  I did not want an expensive Franklin Covey or anything like that, but I wanted something that was fun to look at... something that would inspire me to open it up.  I found this at Wal-Mart, for about $6.  And I love the little photo sleeve!  It has just what I need... month at a glance and lines for my to make small lists of what I want to accomplish during the week.

I made a list before I went to bed last night. then I actually did 4/6 of the things on that list today.  It feels good to see check marks next to the things I got done, and to realize there were things I did that were not on the list at all.

I've got a multitude of thoughts running through my head.  You might catch glimpses of them on here if I post more than once a week, or if they make it to my Facebook status.  My track record with New Year's resolutions is pretty spoor, so I think I'll cling to Micah 6:8 and hope for a little bit of Proverbs 31 in there somewhere.