more insomnia

actually, i was sleeping quite well and dreaming strange thoughts when i dreamed that as i went to pick baby bear up from the nursery, i could hear her crying from down the hall. then i realized she erally was crying. that was at 2:38 a.m. she had kicked off her covers, and i think she was a little chilly. i changed her diaper, and sat in the rocking chair with her. oh, i am so grateful for the rocking chair we were able to take off tech mom's hands! i draped a blanket over both of us, and for a few minutes, savored the silence, the depth of her breathing, and the fact that though she woke me up, she was able to rest in my arms. a few minutes later, i tried to put her back in her bed. "rock," she asked. i couldn't resist. we rocked some more. "daddy?" she asked. "he's sleeping." "would you like to go to mommy and daddy's room to try to sleep?" "yeah."

so i carried her down the hall. she actually settled in pretty nicely, but after a few minutes of cuddling, became restless. "do you want to go back to your bed?" i asked. "yeah."

so i laid her gently in her toddler bed, tucked her under the covers with her doll and kitties, and wound her musical giraffe.

on one hand, i am annoyed by my insomnia, as 45 minutes have passed since i laid my little one back down to rest. yet i cherish moments like these. moments which remind me that she is still a baby, and there are times she just needs to know her mommy and daddy are there, no matter what. as she grows up, her ways of expressing that need will change. hopefully, we won't be awakened very frequently. but if we are, and insomnia follows after she has been comforted, so be it. for a few blessed minutes, my baby remained my baby, not the little girl she is so quickly becoming before my eyes.

reasons i hate insomnia

1) i'd rather be sleeping.
2) thoughts of all the unfinished tasks around my house haunt me, but actually doing them would cause my daughter to wake up.
3) when daylight comes, i am too tired to do anything
4) increased awareness of my sore throat and stuffy nose, which are irritating enough to keep me awake, but do not necessarily warrant a visit to the doctor.