insomnia

i suppose this is normal wake-up time for farmers. but we aren't farmers. we got to bed kinda late, after an evening cookout with friends from hubby's work. baby bear did really well-i was so proud of how she did not break down, even 2 hours past her normal crash time.

i've had people ask how it feels to be out of my twenties. until now i have not had an answer. i am more aware of symptoms of getting old, like insomnia! other than that, i don't really feel older. it will probably hit me when i go to the gym and the elyptical machine asks my age, and i have to enter "30". but other than some nice phone calls and cards, and schokolad from hubby, it was a pretty regular day.

they highlight of my 30th? napping with my baby bear. you see, she doesn't fall asleep in our arms anymore. and there are times after she wakes up, when i am not ready to get up myself, that i bring her into my bed. this usually results in her climbing all over me and the pillows, pulling herself up on the headboard and playing with the cross-stitch frame on the wall above our heads. potentiall very dangerous. funny thing is, if i put her back into her crib after she has her bottle, she usualy settles down, plays quietly, and even goes back to sleep for another hour or so. anyway, around noon yesterday she began rubbing her eyes. a lot. i was sleepy, too. so downstairs we came, and i decided to see if she would nap with me. she played for 5 or 10 minutes, excited by the cross-stitch and ceiling fan and bright colored box on the floor, as usual. then i wrapped my arm around her, and she fell asleep right next to me.

we are not a co-sleeping family. i made the mistake of reading certain books during my pregnancy that i wish i had not read until later, if at all. they basically teach that it's possible for infants to become too attached.... um, i'd rather have an emotionally attached baby thank you very much. there are certain developmental phases which are inevitable- separation anxiety being one of them. we didn't sleep well with baby bear in our bed when she was little, and she didn't sleep well with us. but when she was a couple of months old, i discovered that she was not going to roll out yet, and began taking naps with her. now she could roll out, i suppose, but it's more likely she'll climb out from under my arm and wake me up in the process. she doesn't fall asleep on us like she did when she was little, either. usually it's best to just lay her down in her crib, where she'll roll to the side or her tummy, often sticking her bottom in the air, and cuddle her snuggly. ironically, on the occasions she naps with me, she tends to nap for longer periods of time than when she's alone in her crib. that makes my heart melt. yesterday it was an hour and a half of good sleep for both of us. when she woke up, she had the most restful, sweet expression on her face, and my heart melted again. happy birthday to mommy.