good morning!
ok, i want sleep. the kids are asleep. why am i awake? i should be productive and fold laundry....
this post is beginning to sound like my facebook profile status update.
a couple of days ago, i asked Bear if she wants to go to school or stay home and have mommy be her teacher. this was after a visit to a mom's day out where a couple of my friends send their kids in which she really seemed to want to stay and play on the playground. anyway, her birthday is a month past the state's kindergarten entry deadline. this means that the state says she can't go to kindergarten until she is almost 6. in my opinion, she will be ready before then. the child is identifying beginning consonant sounds, she is a "mother hen" in her sunday school class, and she loves to learn. she soaks up names of plants and birds. she loves older kids.
one of my reasons in adding education to my major in college was that i thought i might want to homeschool my kids some day. then i taught public high school for 2 years. while most of you might think that would be incentive to keep my kids at home, it actually had the opposite effect on me. i realized the serious responsibility that home-schooling parents face, and questioned whether i am up to that challenge. i had a few "students" (kids who were on my class roll but rarely showed up and when they did were not exactly eager to participate) who withdrew from school in order to "home-school". God help them. if they could not get motivated to work under the instruction of caring teachers like myself, and if their parents did not care enough to return my phone calls, how were they possibly going to truly learn at home? i envisioned them sleeping in and taking only open-book tests.
after my brief stint as a teacher in a public school, i had the opportunity to tutor home schoolers through a private tutorial at a local church. MOST of those kids reminded my why i had initially considered home-schooling. their faith and work-ethics were phenomenal. yes, i had at last one student who was ineligible to return to that tutorial program, and she reminded me of some of the students who had dropped out.
anyway, the core of my internal debate is not so much my daughter's capability or even my past experiences in the field of education. it's the knowledge that i am lazy and unmotivated by nature and can't even get myself into a system to keep up with, well, anything. so how on earth can i teach my child effectively? that whole "socialization" debate that often accompanies objections to home schooling does not apply, in my opinion. there are plenty of social opportunities for home schoolers. there are multiple resources for parents, and many kids thrive because they are not limited by the budget restraints or distractions of conventional classrooms. however, being a product of a combination of christian and public education, and having been a teacher, i don't buy into the fear-based theory that christian kids will definitely be corrupted in public schools any more than i buy into the theory that they will be sheltered in private christian schools. kids are kids, and peer pressure exists everywhere. as parents, it is our responsibility to teach our kids values. my parents weren't perfect, but the foundation God gave us through them was not broken when we went to public schools.
it's 4 a.m. my improper punctuation and grammar may demonstrate to some that i should not home school my kids. i'm tempted to close the comments on this post, but this blog has been dead for a while, and as i have nothing else to discuss at the moment, feel free to post your thoughts. i'm not looking for debate, just thinking out loud here. God knows my mind is enough of a forum for debates. feel free to think along with me, if you like. at the very least, pray that i will not let my indecisive nature hinder my daughter's intellectual development. (i don't see that happening, she seems to be doing just fine. but the decision is what will be "just fine" and what will help her truly thrive? i know, only hubby and i can make that decision.)
9 comments:
Josh and I are having the same discussion here in our home. I'm really leaning towards homeschooling. I have been researching co-op programs in the area and getting information. Homeschooling isn't like it used to be-- there are a lot more resources than were available when I home schooled. Maybe we can get the kids together sometime and chat about it?
lauren - you are already doing a terrific job home-schooling bear. she didn't learn the things you mentioned and many other things on her own. :-) home-school parents who falter in educating their kiddos well simply do not value education. you do, so i would tend to believe that you would rise above. i'm not saying it would be easy, but you could do it and love it!
socialization - bah humbug! :-) home-schooling allows the parents to decided who, what and when socializes the child.
i know how hard this decision is. praying for you.
a wise mom i know once said she takes it a year at a time and then decides. i think we're headed toward that direction. i might still put her in the local mom's day out once a week next fall, more for a break for me than for her...
we did some letter recognition workbook activities and alphabet "dominoes" flashcards from the dollar tree (in smyrna, sam)for the first time today. she got a kick out of using the eraser on her pencil.
anyway, you're right. i AM already beginning home schooling because i will not leave my child behind. the state can't tell me she's too young to go to school. :) whether or not she goes outside the home to kindergarten will be seen in the future.
My questions is, what was bear's answer when you asked her that? You never said in your post.
I don't really have an opinion, it's a strictly personal decision. Some people are cut out for it and some kids are cut out for it, and others aren't. My mother-in-law wants us to home-school, but I'm pretty certain that I'm one of those parents not cut out for it. I get frustrated way too easily. I will of course teach her at home, but K will probably go to public school or this one private school if we could ever afford it...if nothing else so that she and I do not become frustrated with each other and end up lacking in quality time together.
I see-sawed on this issue for quite a while. My kids don't really have many social opportunities & I fear we'd fall into that never leaving the house trap if we homeschooled. I also identify with your self proclamed lack of drive. I'm unorganized & too lazy to be disciplined. And to be completely honest, teaching is not a spiritual gift I was endowed with. So for me, it wasn't as hard a descison as I thought it would be.
But when BabyGirl was having such a horrible time last year I gave homeschooling serious though.
You do what you think is best. And whatever your decision, it can be changed if you're not happy with it. You can always enroll her in school or take her out depending on what you decide.
Bear said, "stay at home with Mommy." But just a couple of days earlier, she was ready to stay at the Mom's Day Out.
I think the only way that I can respond is by expressing what I've thought about in my personal situation. So please don't take it as a "this is what we did or will be doing, so that is what I think you should do too". I'm just walking you through my thought process. It will probably encompass preschool, homeschooling/ public schooling from a Christian perspective, and the whole readiness issue. So here goes my novel:
You know that I both home school AND send my daughter to preschool. (Wrap your mind around that "all or nothing" thinkers!) I think most involved parents do some degree of home schooling naturally, but I actually use somewhat of a curriculum as well. Pretty much J already knows most of the basic "academics" that they teach in preschool (letter recognition, letter sounds, shapes, basic numbers, some counting, etc)... she is a sponge and ready to go beyond that. So we are. But I still value the preschool experience just the same... mainly for both socialization and structure. And she does still learn of course. No matter how many extra activities you do outside the home, such as library trips, athletic lessons, and even Sunday school, none of that is the same kind of socialization that they get in a school setting, structured, learning to respect other adults and other children, following a routine, solving problems...without you. Sure, things like gymnastics or sports may have structure, but most likely you are present. Sure, at Sunday School you aren't present and there is SOME structure, but it is not to the degree of school outside the home, nor for the same amount of time. There is just something to be said (in a positive way) for how a school-like setting outside the home sparks intellectual and social growth in a child. I'm not saying that everyone has to do it, I'm not saying that it is something that should be done throughout every child's learning career, but I do think that for most kids it is an opportunity that would benefit them if the opportunity is given to them at some point. Whether or not it is beneficial to continue I think has a lot to do with both the individual personality of the child and the parents' personalities and schedules. There is no "one size fits all" decision. Granted, I am nervous about the things my daughter will "learn" from other kids when she does start public school, but I hope that we have a close enough relationship where my child will value my input (I'm praying so as I type this, lol). And hopefully she will learn to interact well, kindly, and appropriately with the kids whose home lives I wouldn't approve of. Because (at risk of sounding like I'm on a soap box), Jesus loves them every bit as much as He loves me, and I pray that my daughter will do a better job at loving them and reaching out to the lost than I did. I really hope that she develops a compassionate attitude and not a "holier than thou" attitude. It's hard to do that if she doesn't know anyone that is lost.
Even though (thanks to that wonderful age cut-off) J will have 4 years of preschool under her belt before she starts kindy, I still continue to send her. I think she would have a melt-down if I didn't... she is a social butterfly with an independent streak, and goes stir-crazy at home, just like her mama ;)And stuff is constantly popping out of her mouth (good stuff, not bad language yet, thank goodness) that I know that I didn't teach her. And it is amazing. So for now I just supplement with home schooling where necessary. So my barely 3 year old can read some small words, knows how to sound stuff out, and can write her name sometimes. Sure she will probably be bored with that aspect of kindergarten whenever she does start. But that is not the only aspect that there is. (FWIW, if I could afford it and if there was one available in the area, I WOULD probably send her to a private school... not because I want to isolate her from the public school, just so she can go somewhere where Bible is a priority. But just like everything else, where they don't meet her needs at school, I will do my best to meet them at home.So the same goes for the Biblical aspect).
So there you have it. Even though I am more than confident that J will be ready to start kindy when she is almost 5 rather than almost 6, Our plan is to take things a year at a time... start her out in public kindy when she is "supposed" to start according to the system (which yes, this still does bug me because in other states she would be allowed to start at almost 5... I suppose on the bright side of things though I would rather have her be more confident in her abilities which I'm sure she will be as one of the older ones in her class than not so confident at an earlier age although totally capable, which may or may not come with starting early), supplement at home where necessary, and just take it as it comes. She has 13 years of her life to do regular school... I'm not going to stress out about it when I don't know if there is a reason to stress yet. When the reason comes, then I will worry about it ;)
ok, so i wasn't going to respond, but i can't help myself. home-schooling moms really despise the term socialization. lol.
the term socialization is defined as:
1. To place under government or group ownership or control.
2. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.
3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society.
the top definition sends shivers down my spine for obvious reasons. ownership and control are pretty strong words!
the second definition is all well and good. of course, i want my children to be considerate and loving of others. one might argue (not me of course, cause i hate to argue - ha ha ha) that home-schooling gives them more opportunities to be sociable with a wider range of age groups better equipping them for the future. ater all once you graduate from college you don't continue to travel in same-age social herds. you work with and communicate with people of differing ages. most home-schooled children learn this skill much earlier than traditionally educated children.
the last definition also sends chills to my soul. it states, "convert or adapt to the needs of society." society is adapting to sin at an alarming rate; that's certainly not what i want for the girls.
further research into this topic revealed the goals of socialization.
Arnett,[1] in presenting a new theoretical understanding of socialization (see below), outlined what he believes to be the three goals of socialization:
1. impulse control and the development of a conscience
(shouldn't that be the dad and the mom's responsibility not another child or teacher?)
2. role preparation and performance, including occupational roles, gender roles, and roles in institutions such as marriage and parenthood
(these roles have been completely skewed by our society from there original intent. so do i want the girls to understand these roles and others as God designed them or as man has distorted them?)
3. the cultivation of sources of meaning, or what is important, valued, and to be lived for.
(once again, shouldn't this be the responsibility of dad and mom - especially christian dads and moms. what if those cultivating have different values?)
in conclusion (sorry lauren)
i believe that the family is the primary unit of society. it is also the first institution established by God. a child learns unconditional love, trust faith from their family. his status doesn't change on the whim of his peers. it is constant. he is always loved and taught to show love. the child learns values, principles, and truth from people who have his best interest at heart. the child will learn to value creativity and their own uniqueness from those who encourage them to think outside the box and be what God created them to be - instead of being shoved into the box and told to be like everyone else. (yuck! the world would be so boring if everyone conformed to the ordinary!!! i'm so thankful that isn't God's desire for his children!)
so i lied- maybe i'll conclude now :-)
can a christian kiddo survive public school and turn out ok. - absolutely!!! i think they will struggle more because for 8 or more hours a day they will be enveloped in lies from every direction, but it can work.
also, not every child should be home-school and not every parent should home-school!!! trust me, i'm not for home-schooling if it's not done well! every parent needs to figure out what's best for their kiddo. maybe that is public school, or private school(that's another post) or home-school.
btw, our oldest went to public school in k5, so i'm not just defending the home-school movement b/c that's what we do. we've been there and done that. yes, she was socialized by other five and six year old kids. it's not all that it is cracked up to be.
sorry lauren for taking up all this space. i'll copy this over to my blog (aslan's child) if any of you want to continue this conversation.
also, i hope i didn't offend anyone in this post. :-)
over the river and through the woods, to CRT's blog I go ;)
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