Reflections on stress, changes, types of trauma as the new year approaches

Stress, Eustress, and Trauma

Way back in college, I took an intro to psychology course.  Although I supposed it should be common sense, I distinctly remember learning about stress and eustress, and how ALL stressors can impact our nervous systems and emotions.

2020- In the midst of the Covid shutdown, my Dad died of mesothelioma with Covid expediting his lung failure.  My husband and I spent the last 6 weeks of my Dad's life with him and my Mom in FL.  My siblings also came and helped some.  Our kids were taken care of by their other grandparents, who are amazing.  Dad died after Thanksgiving.  The kids did virtual learning from FL after the funeral in early December, and we stayed there to help Mom move into an assisted living facility, something that seemed sudden to many but was necessary with no relatives in the area to help her.

2021- Husband's job change was on the horizon, and we had months of uncertainty regarding that.  We moved across the state right after Christmas, in time for the kids to start at their new school.

Jan 2021-Middle kid got COVID and missed 8 weeks of school, experiencing chest pains from  prechordial catch, GI issues, lethargy, chest pain, coughing, and more.  The only thing he had issues with before covid was asthma and seasonal allergies.  I have no patience for those who continue to ignorantly claim precautions were unnecessary and used the pandemic for their political BS to instill fear of compassion  and respect for others, especially those who call themselves Christ-followers, but turned their political party into their church.  Pardon the run on sentence and poor grammar.  That's as nicely as I can put it. 

Life is full of ups and downs, moves, deaths, changes.  Some people will never understand why people move, and others will never understand why people don't.  

While "trauma" is typically used to describe terrible and impactful events, I've come to experience that the changes of life can also bring their own trauma with them.  The slow, subtle stresses build up, and they are in some ways just as difficult to process as sudden traumas.

Christmas 2022 was our first year in our most recent home, and it was so nice to have a few days rest, just the 5 of us, in the midst of what has seemed like a never-ending cycle of changes and chaos.   We're looking forward to seeing some family in a couple of days, but I am grateful for this little bit of calm.

If you are reading this, I send well wishes for a happy new year in 2023.

A Simple Message?

 

Many years ago, my husband's grandfather built this sign above the corn fields along a rural state road in Wisconsin.  

I confess, I've been in a "wandering heart" seasoning.  Not so much from Jesus or my faith in God, but from the organized church.  The political idolatry that I've seen amongst many followers of Christ saddens me.  And then my own judgmental spirit toward them saddens me more.

A verse in Romans says, "Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."  

That verse brought me so much comfort as a pondered my own weaknesses, ways I thought I should be better or do better, when even though I had trusted Jesus for my salvation, I thought I had to do more or be more.  Jesus saves from my self.  He saves from my depression.  

He also saves us from our self-righteousness.  "For it is not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He has saved us."  Mercy.  Plain and simple.  Not mercy plus our good works.  Not mercy plus our political correctness or conservativism.  The more I read the New Testament, the more I believe that Jesus' words and actions line up with the liberal ideas that so many conservatives dismiss.  

Jesus saves from "Faith over Fear."  His perfect love casts out fear.  Yet I see so much fear of  _____________________ (fill in the blank) from so many who declare whole-hearted trust in God.  

I never got to meet Grandpa Jonny.  He died before I ever met my husband.  But it's my understanding from running into strangers who knew him that his love of God was shown by his love for others.  When Grandma would fret about something, he would admonish her to relax.  I like to think that his declaration to all who pass by his property was more than just a get-out-of-eternal-hell ticket, but it was for us to ponder how Jesus can change our lives here on earth before we die.  Maybe, just maybe, he can free me from the guilt trips over my weaknesses.  Maybe He can free the church from internal warfare and corruption.  What else....?

10

A decade has passed since my 3rd baby was born.  Time flies.  M has grown into a loving, silly, creative, unique boy, and we are so thankful for his life.

Since he was born, we have moved to another state, then moved across that state to another new home.  He's handled the changes like a champ.

He loves goofy you tube videos, our dog, and music.  He memorizes the track titles and order on CD's, in addition to artists' names.  He has a wild, independent side and an equally tender heart. 

I initially started this blog after my 16 year old was born, and over time, it became replaced by Facebook.  However, it's still here in cyberspace, so perhaps I'll revive it some day.  For now, an occasional post will do.

Run The Year 2020

I fell asleep with one of my kids, woke up 2 hours later, and now I have insomnia. I'm tired of the drama on Facebook, I'm anxious because I have SO much to do but need rest, and contemplating oh. so. much. In 2017, I signed up for Run the Year, an online challenge. I completed 373 miles according to their tracker, but when I go back to a screen shot of the currently useless mapmyrun tracker, I see a total of 419 miles that year.  UnderArmour/mapmyfitness says they will add that functionality back, but in case they don't, I am logging on another platform in addition to my challenge tracker.

As of tonight, my challenge tracker has me approaching 400 miles, and my goal is to get there this month.  My original goal for the year was 500, but I'm going to try to push myself beyond that... dare I hope for 700?

The big milestone for me, however, is that I decided to be a parent volunteer for my kids' Cross Country team.  My daughter ran last year, I am dragging her brother with us as pre-season training for recreational soccer, and we'll see if he sticks with it!  My goal is to hang near the back of the pack with the slower kids and encourage them.  Since both females who coached last year resigned (for very good personal  reasons), I also felt like the girls need a woman around at least some of the time.   Last year, after almost completely stopping running and only walking intermittently, I let the kids talk me into doing a parent race at one of the Invitational Meets.  I came in dead last.  I had to walk so much.  My goal is to run it this year and finish strong. I have 2 months to train, and since I am now training with the kids, I should get there.

My RTY Teammates have led us to already reaching well over 2020 miles total as a team, and my goal is to have my best year yet and not flop by August like I usually do!