Psalm 139- ESV

Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

139:1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.

7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. [1]
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.

19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20 They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain! [2]
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22 I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts! [3]
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting! [4]

***

one of those days

I woke up sleepy because I stayed up too late last night. It's always hard for me to settle down when hubby travels. Bear awoke around 11:30 p.m., needing her Mommy to rock her again. I obliged. She's got a bit of congestion that seems to wake her up. I probably should think about plugging in the humidifier while she sleeps and see if that helps. I had also put off doing my Bible study lesson, so after I put her down, I did it. I read about Joseph and Solomon and Job and Asaph, how they struggled. Isn't it interesting that while we Christians tend to try to act perfect, put on a facade of holiness or spirituality even when we don't feel that way, the Bible is full of people who struggled and expressed those struggles in very real ways? God drew them back to Himself... soetimes with chastisement, but always revealing His faithfulness.

I've been in kind of a funk, desert, pity party, all of the above for a while now. It's not a permanent state, but it does come and go. I accepted an invitation to join the Gospel Transformation study because it sounded like a great opportunity for fellowship and accountability. It's a study that is opened to people who are involved in leadership of some kind in our church, and it involved digging deep and examining how God's story is revealed in scripture and how it applies to our own lives. God put me in a small group with some amazing women, and I am so thankful. I haven't been involved in a Bible study/group like this since college, perhaps...? It's been far too long. I have also been reading the book Sacred Marriage, thouh I haven't participated in our W@H discussion group. I like it a lot.

Anyway, it seems that being in a funk is a common thread among me and several of my friends lately. I'm praying we get out of this state, soon.

Reflections

John 1:29- The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him and said,
"Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!"

John 10:10- "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

John 14:27-"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.."

Acts 4:12- "And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”

Acts 16:31- And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”

Romans 6:23- "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Happy Easter!

Have you read John 17 lately?

This passage reveals the prayer that Jesus prayed just before Judas betrayed him. In the past, I have been drawn to his prayer for unity of those who believe in Him. He refers to the disciples as gifts from the Father to Himself, and prays for those who will believe on Him through their word.
Does that mean He considers us gifts from the Father, too?

All my life I have been taught that Jesus was God's gift to us. (John 3:16 makes that perfectly clear.) Until yesterday, I have never thought that perhaps Jesus considered those who believe in Him to be gifts, too. Wow.