update on baby alex

i talked to alex's mom for a while tonight. pray for her... she just went back to work this week , a lot has changed due to the nature of her job (medical insurance related stuff), and of course she would rather be home with her baby instead of jumping head first back into the crazy world of the place that drove me to a couple of panic attacks a couple of years ago.

anyway, as a reminder, alex was due october 29th and was born the last week of july. he was in the nicu at vandy for a while, but came home and was doing well. but one morning he was having trouble breathing without being stimulated. he had meningitis. so he was in vandy again for 21 more days. there are a couple of small spots that show up on his scans that could be brain damage, but so far all signs are that he's healthy. pray that whatever those spots are will not be significant. his mom said when he had fluid on the brain, his soft spot expanded so it was like an egg on his head. but in a way it was a blessing that he still had a soft spot, more flex room.

he is doing well now, and his grandma takes care of him while his mommy works (although i might get to every now and then if his grandma isn't able). he weighs over 10 lbs... considering he weighed less than 3 lbs at birth, that's really cool.

anyway, keep this precious baby boy and his family in your prayers!

HALLEYVILLE: A moment ago

I had to share this photo of what they're getting in the northwest. pray for temera and her farm animals to stay warm and for her hubby to get home safely. (click on the link to see the pic)

I turned the corner yesterday afternoon. I was working on the ground beef for our tacos (well, hubby's tacos, I did well to eat some mixed vegetables and aout 1/2 of mine, even with the mild seasoning the spices got to me), and a fit of hacking came upon me. Actually, several fits. Poor baby bear stared at me in wonder, and clung to her daddy. He explained to her that mommy gets really sick, and this is part of how her body gets it out of her system.
I was tempted to go back to the doctor on Saturday, but the last time I had this crud, I went in and was told to keep doing what I'm doing, it would just take time. I did call and talk to a nurse. She said that since I was still running a fever, the physicians who were in would run a blood test to make sure my white cell count was ok. But as we talked, I told her that I didn't want to come in for "nothing". She honestly said that if she were I, she would wait it out just a bit longer... so I did, and hubby breathed a sigh of relief at not having to pay another copay. (Though it is little compared to what my friend Inkling shelled out.) Sometime on Saturday, as I hacked, blew my nose, shoved guafinasen horse pills down my throat, drank lots of water and apple juice, and hacked some more, I remembered my inhaler. And I began using it.... and I noticed slow but steady improvement over the weekend. so the next time I start sounding like a horse, will somebody please ask me if I tried my inhaler? It only took a week for me to think of it this time around. The guafinasen (sp?) broke up the congeestion in my chest and helped me drain, the inhaler did whatever it does to help me breathe. And although hubby threatened to sleep in the guest bed last night, I heard his alarm at 6 a.m. and felt him roll over and put his arm around me... so at some point he decided I wasn't coughing as much (or else our bed is just more comfy, even with the distraction of my coughing).

Today has been my best day since early last week. My voice is even starting to return, so I attempted to read to baby bear. She was more interested in patting the pages.

For the 2nd week in a row, we missed church due to one of us being sick. I had to bail out on the nursery, which is not a good thing on a holiday weekend, but as of yesterday morning I was in no shape to play with baby bear and her toddling buddies.

So no "black Friday" shopping for me. Or Saturday. We stayed huddled in our cozy home, avoided the crowds, and scrounged up things to eat around here. Hubby once again proved he is a terrific daddy by taking care of baby bear (although it occured to us that I should change the dirty diapers since I can't smell anyway). He even did dishes... as in washing the pots and pans, not just putting the plates in the dishwasher. I ate soup and ramen noodles and toast with great-gramma's homemade raspberry jelly. After putting Baby Bear to bed on Saturday, we watched Gladiator.

And now, as I hear silence through the monitor indicating that Baby Bear finally gave in to her sleepiness, I think I'll take the advice I was given as a new mommy over a year ago... when baby sleeps, do the same. Chores will always be there.

a recipe so easy, even i can remember it...

(adapted from everyday foods november 2006... no plagiarism here- this time)

cranberry-grape compote


Rinse 1 12 oz. pack fresh cranberries and 3 c seedless red grapes, then dump them into a large saucepan. (3 qt. worked great for me). Add 1 c sugar and 1/2 c water (i actually added closer to 1 c). Bring contents to boil, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat and simmer for 15-20 minutes, until mmost of the cranberries have popped and grapes are falling apart. Remove from heat and add 1/8 tsp salt, stir in. Let cool to room temp before sticking in the fridge. (keeps up to 2 weeks in a sealed container). serve at room temp.

*****************
why i'm thankful

at the moment, i'm most thankful my family didn't shoot me for showing up for thanksgiving when i really should have been home in bed. i justified it by saying i'd been on antibiotics and shouldn't be contagious, but still.

i'm thankful for the delicious meal that my mom so lovingly prepared for us, as she always does. yummy roasted turkey, stuffing with or without mushrooms (your choice, although Eaglet gave her "permission" to no longer make separate stuffing without mushrooms for the first time in 30-something years. not that she needed permission from her son.) italian-style green beans with a yummy onion cream sauce to put over it. rolls, sweet potatoes, mahed potatoes and gravy. nobody's gravy beats my mom's, it's always the best. fruit salad. my contribution: cran-grape compote. for dessert, we had 3 choices: pumkin chiffon pie, cherry cheesecake, or key lime pie. she also had a veggie and cheese, cracker and nut tray for us to munch on while we waited for the meal. she always over-does it when it comes to cooking, but we love her and appreciate it. oh, and i have to add the dressing is not the same as stuffing, and should not ever be considered a substitute, though i often is here in the south.

i'm thankful for my loving hubby who lets me be me and is so good at taking care of baby bear. he even through tonight's supper into the crock pot (with my guidance). otherwise we might be eating eggs and toast for supper. well, he'd be eating eggs and toast. i'd probably eat ramen noodles.

i'm thankful baby bear is napping or playing quietly in her crib while her daddy is at the gym and mommy is in bed, typing on the laptop.

i'm thankful for my family and friends, all of whom God has put into my life for a reason. sometime friends have been around a long time, family is stuck with me no matter what, other friends are new. the seasons we are together my be long or short, but they are all gifts.

i'm thankful for the gift of life and a doctor's office that i trust to help me make good decisions about my family's health.

i'm thankful for grace. not just my new online friend, but God's grace. there was a time i thought it meant God's riches at Christ's expense (thanks to a few trite sermons, no doubt), now i know it is so much more.

i'm thankful it's not 20 below outside, although 70 is still a bit odd for november. i'm with grace; i don't think i'm truly a southern girl, though i've been here for almost half my life. i miss distinct seasons.

i'm thankful for our home and good neighbors, and that our streets are paved after 3 1/2 years in this subdivision. the slalom course around manhole covers was no fun. while it's often easy to get caught up in the chaos of suburban life and not get to know neighbors, we have been blessed by people who have sought us out and become friends.

there's not rhyme or reason to my list, and there are many more things i could add. but that's all for now.

8 years ago...

8 years ago today, my boyfriend and dad drove to a shooting range for some guy time. Little did i know, something else was on the agenda. well, i suspected a conversation might be planned, since boyfriend didn't get to see my parents very often... but since we'd only been dating for 3 months, I figured he'd ask Dad in person, but wait til Christmas or Valentine's to pop the question to me. Apparently boyfriend had a small box hidden in his gun case, a box containing a ring. Now, thankfully my dad apparently liked boyfriend well enough to give his blessing, because if you think about the setting, it was not the wisest one for asking a father for his daughter's hand in marriage.

Anyway, that Thanksgiving Weekend was by far the most memorable one for me. Oh, we've had several special ones since then, but it was that weekend that made some of the other most memorable Thanksgivings possible. That next day, boyfriend asked if I wanted to take the scenic route toward his parents', the Natchez Trace Parkway. It was a sunny "Indian Summer" November-in-Tennessee Saturday, so of course I was game. I still had no clue, though I should have, since boyfriend usually liked to get to destinations as quickly as possible. Then again, we'd only been dating 3 months, so I had no idea what kind of surprises he was capable of.

Even though we had dated a relatively short time, both of us were sure that God had sent the other into our lives. It seemed crazy, I had not had a serious dating relationship, though there were a couple of "friends" who could have become more if I would let them close enough. But God had helped me guard my heart until the day hubby and I met and experienced that thing I'd always been skeptical of and hoped for simultaneously- love at first sight.

So we drove along, pulled off at a couple of overlooks to enjoy the scenic views (I thought). The first had a couple making out; not what we wanted to see. The 2nd had a creepy old guy in a equally scary-looking pickup truck; not a good effect there, either, though they were pretty spots.

Finally, we stopped at the Water Valley Overlook... those of you from this area may even know where Water Valley is. The overlook on the trace was so pretty. we saw the rolling hills and farms below, and boyfriend said the landscape reminded him of where he grew up.

Everyone else who had stopped before us had since pulled away, so only the 2 of us sat on the grass, talking, enjoying God's creation and eachother's company. Boyfriend said he had a passage he wanted to read together, and pulled out a Bible. I noticed he pulled a rubber band off from around the cover, but didn't think much of it. He handed the Bible to me, suggested I turn to a passage, and while I did so, he got onto one knee. There, in the middle of the passage, surrounded by highlighted text, the most beautiful ring I had ever seen was resting in a hole in the Bible. Yep, he actually cut out the pages with a razor and created a spot for the ring. If that appals you, get over it. It was a paperback one that he got for free somewhere. Maybe some day we'll have it bound in leather for kicks.

Of course, I accepted his proposal. We were married the next summer. Boyfriend is now hubby.
His parents and grandparents treat me like a daughter, not a daughter "in-law". I've since been to his old home state abd learned that the farmhouse he lived in is on a ridge remarkably similar to the overlook where we got engaged. I could go on about why I'm thankful for him and his family, but I've typed enough for now. Baby bear is napping, and I need to, also.

relapse

even though i'm taking my antibiotics diligently, my fever has returned. my congestion may be clearing up for good this time, but i'll believe it after it's gone. ashley's girl and ian's master may remember times when my annual crud hit in college, and they were unfortunate enough to be my roommates during that time. now, after 7 years of marriage, hubby has the loving "in sickness" part pretty much down pat. for whatever reason, i have a weak immune system.

thankfully, baby bear has been an angel all day. destructive angel, but nevertheless an angel. she can't help it her mommy and daddy leave dvd's a ps2 games within her reach to pull of the shelf!

Through the Bible in a Year

I came across this link on the Parish Pres site, and thought I would share....

getting over it

the cold, that is. one obvious sign of my feeling better is when i get so sick of a mess that i do something about it. or at least part of it. with a 13 month old, any cleaning feels pointless 10 seconds after a task is complete. oh, i've still got the cough and runny nose, but they aren't as bad as they were, and my hack is surprisingly absent. may it stay that way. anyway, a while back tech mom told me about this magazine called Everyday Food. The timing wasn't right, I sort of shrugged it off. Well, the November issue caught my eye with it's claim of "The Easiest Thanksgiving Ever" spread across the top. I was lured into the marketing trap and threw it into the cart with everything else. When I got home, I was pleasantly surprised. I found recipes for a full Thanksgiving Dinner. Now, don't be deceived into thinking I'm making Thanksgiving Dinner this year. No way. We'll meet Eaglet and his wife and Sbectacular, her hubby, and Baby J at our parents tomorrow afternoon. Lord willing baby bear and I will feel up to it.
Anyway, I do like to offer to bring a dish, and the easy Cranberry-Grape Compote looked just the thing. So tonight, after hubby and I ate another succesful pork chop recipe that the crock-pot cooked for me, I made it. I'm sure it won't have quite the bite that tech-mom's brandied cranberries offer, but it sounded like an interesting combo. If my senses have returned tomorrow and the majority liked it, I'll post the recipe.

We're watching Cheaper By the Dozen on tv tonight It's refreshing to watch something clean and relatively light. We watch so many crime shows around here that it gets old. One of the commercials was for the new Charlotte's Web movie. I loved that book when I was little. We'll probably wait to see it on video, since we only go to the theater once or twice a year, but you can bet it's one I'll rent and baby bear might even watch with us. (She LOVES animals.)

Have a Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I am thankful to live close enough to family that we can spend it together... and look forward to doing the same with the other half at Christmastime.

big step

my cold wasn't the only thing i discussed with the doctor today. there comes a point when one must make a choice to continue with the status quo, something that you're used to but don't like, yet can't seem to change by yourself, or try something-anything- to fix it.

i probably shouldn't have waited a year to get up the nerve to deal with it in this way, but hey... maybe it's pride, fear, i don't know. having this conversation with doc a year ago would have made more sense, when i was more obviously tossed between simultaneous waves of circumstantial frustration and hormones and tides of joy. but it was much easier now than it would have been a year ago.

pray for me... it was a big step, a necessary one.

I remember....

Pulling onto their street after an insanely long drive in the backseat with my annoying brother and sister and looking for the cute barn-roofed house with the glass-enclosed front porch where Daddy was raised.
Grandma Helen driving us around Yonkers, teaching us to "blow out" the red stop lights so green ones would come on.
Sitting on the front porch with Grandpa Dante, either reading Our Daily Bread together or listening to him play the harmonica.
The smell as we walked into the entry... a combination of moth balls and Grandma's roast lamb.
Watching Grandpa cut wood in his basement shop.
Thinking it was a miracle that such a beautiful backyard garden could grow in such a dirty city.
Taking walks to and from the Catholic seminary, and feeling the Lord's presence amongst the tall trees that had probably been on the property since before New York was colonized. I could always tell Grandpa loved that place, even when his mind had begun to fail and he no longer remembered me.
Climbing the Statue of Liberty with Grandma and peering out of Lady Liberty's crown. It was hot, musty, and stinky from all the people, but still worth the climb up the steps.
Crawling through the "secret passage" from Grandma and Grandpa's room to the front closet.
Playing Chinese Checkers with Aunt Vivian and listening to her music box.
Over-hearing the neighbors yell at eachother in Italian.
Laundry hanging to dry from the rope...hundreds of feet above the ground, like you see in TV shows.
Visiting Bethany Chapel and Aunt Mildred and Uncle Herb.
Visiting Great Grandma and Great Grandpa at their home in the Bronx and having fresh picked currants.... and hoping Grandma and Grandpa would never forget me, the way my great-Grandparents did.
Running down the steep driveway, hoping I wouldn't fall flat on my face.
Grandpa telling me about how he met Jesus, and reminding me that Jesus promised we will never be plucked out of the Father's hand.
Standing atop the World Trade Center observation deck (With Grandma) and seeing the tiny people and match-box cars far below.
Going to the Bronx Zoo with Grandma and touching an elephant for the first time.
The little white dog barking on the other side of the fence a couple of houses down... Harry's lot seemed so big to me at the time. His white house was sold and replaced by a big brick duplex with no yard.
Closing all the doors and standing in the dark, tiny hallway.
Wondering how Aunt Ann survived life with 5 brothers.
Playing grandpa's little chicken and the fox game, and the triangle game like the one you play at craker barrel when you're waiting for your food. Except Grandpa made his games by hand from scrap wood, and the pieces were sanded so smooth. He put so much care into his wooden creations, and he loved trying to teach me the strategies. I was a poor student, and to this day I am terrible at the triangle game and don't remember the rules to the chicken and fox game.
Picking peaches from the tree in the back corner (or were they apples?) with the old coffee can attached to the long wooden pole.
Riding the subway to and from the city. One time, the car was completely clean and brand-new on our way into the city. On the way out, the same car (or what I perceived to be the same car) had been tagged with graffiti.
Watching kids double-dutch jumprope on rooftops as we rolled past them on the track.
Going into Macy's with Grandma (so we could see where they have the big parade), and seeing pianos for sale on one floor. I also remember looking at the clothes and thinking only the rich could shop there. It was fun to window shop, though!
Grandpa's duct-tape covered Bible, and his hand-carved toaster tweezers that also served as a pointer to help him keep his spot on the page. I always thought he should get a patent on his toaster tweezers.

These are some of the things that stand out in my mind when I look at the picture of the rose from Grandma and Grandpa's house. The past 5 years have been tough on the family, but the Lord finally took each of them Home and ended our loved ones' pain and suffering. We didn't get to see them often enough, but we knew they loved us. I hope I never forget. I hope my baby girl has many more memories with each of her grandparents and her great-grandma.

Memory Rose

My Dad spent the weekend in NY with his siblings. They worked on dividing up my
Grandparents' belongings, and other tasks of settling the estate.

A rose bush that has been in front of their house since my Dad was a little boy bloomed while they were there, the picture is posted above. This should probably go without saying, but I'll state the obvious anyway. Roses don't usually bloom outdoors in November, especially in New York.

musings on temperment, birth order, and such

as i browsed back through portraits of baby bear, and i noticed a thread that runs through them for several months. i think i first noticed it at her 3 month portrait session. no matter how hard we tried, there were times she was just not going to smile. not on our terms, anyway. one of the best smiles captured on her face that weekend was in the carsear, while the posed portraits looked like sheer torture in some snapshots (i'm so glad s & g captured the reality). 9 months later, she is still very much the same. she is not a "ham". her younger cousin, on the other hand, is the opposite. while both girls' smiles will melt your heart, baby bear's cousin seems to turn "on" in front of the camera. my little girl... studies it. the vibrant, gleeful grins of her cousin don't even phase her. she studies the camera, the flash, the photographer. and smiles if she wants to. sometimes it's a mona lisa smile, one in which her eyes speak what the shape of her mouth will not.

ironically, my baby bear seems to be the more physically aggressive of the two girls, who are just 6 1/2 weeks apart. she is the first one to crawl over and plant several kisses on her cousin's bewildered face. sometimes she adds the "mwah!" sound effect as she kisses. she wants to touch her cousin's eyes, ears, mouth.. you name it. she laughs hysterically and dances to larry the cucumber. the same toy terrifies her barely-younger cousin, who always seems to need to acclimate to her cousin's "love language". Youngest niece is a chatterbox and dancer, she bops to any and every song, including ones she seems to be making up. (Her Mommy chattered 100 words a second growing up.) Baby bear has her babbling noises, but seems to only say words she is confident she can say well... mama, dada, cat, "du"(duck). She's not the incessant "reader" or chatterbox, rather she communicates in non-verbal ways (unless she has woken up and is awaiting to be rescued from her cage). I hate to admit it, but I was the one who held my word in and exhibited violent tendencies as a child. (Like biting my baby sister after she bit me. I was 6.) Does this mean Baby Bear will hold it all in til she explodes? Thankfully, she's 13 months old and we don't have to deal with that yet. both of these girls are (currently) only children and firstborn, yet their temperment is uniquely their own....

then, another twist. my mom commented that my oldest niece, "Monarch", reminded her so much of my older brother when he was her age. Extremely intelligent and intense, focusing only on things that they find challenging. They are not related, as this niece is hubby's brother's daughter. Both are firstborn. One is 30 something, one is in kindergarten. How she picked up on this in just a couple of hours with Monarch at baby-bear's party, and perhaps in the time at Caslon & Han Solo's wedding reception, is beyond me. I do tend to take her observations with a grain of salt sometimes. But when she told me she saw similarities, for some reason it did not surprise me in the least. Eaglet (big brother) was writing programs for or Texas Instruments computer when he was just a young lad... possibly even as young as 5 or 6 (with Dad's help), definitely by 9 or 10.

It will be fun to see which personality traits that we see in our babies are still apparent in 5 years, in different ways. Sometimes not so much fun, I suppose, but always interesting.

GOD'S PERFECT TIMING!

Baby Caroline was born to one of my very best friends at 1:58 this morning. Her Daddy got home from Iraq just in time... he arrived yesterday, as did her Grandma, who was flying in "early" "just in case"... After laboring naturally, the doctors ended up doing a c-section. Mommy is resting, both Mommy and Baby are doing well.

Praise the Lord!

hubby's star-wars personality...

Which Star Wars Character Are You? Your Result: Luke SkyWalker You are a noble and loyal person who is always looking after the welfare of your friends, even if your hand gets cut off trying to save them. Just stop kissing your sister and everything will be fine.
Jar Jar Binks
Princess Leia
Han Solo
Yoda
Boba Fett
Darth Vader
Jabba the Hutt
Which Star Wars Character Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

no comments about me and yoda?
i'm just glad i wasn't likend to jar-jar.....
i know there are times i think i'm starting to look like yoda as i age...

Which Star Wars Character Are You? Your Result: Yoda You are a passive green creature with a speech impediment. You always try to find a peaceful resolution to your problems, but also aren't afraid to kick some ass if you need to.
Princess Leia
Luke SkyWalker
Jar Jar Binks
Han Solo
Boba Fett
Darth Vader
Jabba the Hutt
Which Star Wars Character Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

more insomniac ramblings

been up since 3:30. i cleaned out our joint inbox, created new folders to save some old messages and declutter. now to do that with yahoo... ugh.

bear will probably wake up in an hour or less. i should go back to sleep while i might have a chance. but i was tossing and turning and decided to get on the puter rather than wake up hubby.

yesterday afternoon was beautiful. clear, crisp warm breezw and lots of sunshine. hubby had to finish seeding the lawn, so i decided to plant my pink mum that was on the front porch before it dies completely... we'll see if it takes. potted mums need big pots in order to make it, the 4-6" pots are sure to kill the plants. this one was on its way, the blooms were not as colorful as when i bought the plant. yes, partly due to changing seasons, but partly due to no space to spread roots. that's my theory and i'm sticking to it. so now it's in between 2 day lilies along the sidewalk next to the garage door. i also decided to prune the birch and trim some of the other shrubs back a little. the birch isn't as high as mister golf course yard's birch next door, but there's more room to get under the branches with the mower (or seed spreader, in our case). baby bear watched her mommy and daddy work from her activity center, placed strategically on the front porch. i love front porches. ours doesn't get enough use, but today it provided baby bear with fresh air and protection from the sun. she pet her first earthworm today, too. i uncovered it in preparation for planting my mum. she wanted to eat it. i told her she's not old enough to eat fried or rare worms.

we visited our friends R&R tonight. Big Brother W seems to be adjusting well to his 3 week old sister, J. J is absolutely beautiful. Pray for Mommy R ad J that they will get the breastfeeding thing down. Mommy has lots of pain and saw the same lactation consultant that I did. It went well when LLC was there, but she's been struggling the next couple of days. She really wants to nurse. She had a hard time with Big Brother W, too, and ended up supplementing later on. it's so hard... i think so many pediatricians are so stat conscious, us moms who want to do things "right" get stressed out. (she's also going to the first practice where i took baby bear... before i decided the drive was too long, among other things.) while there are times i consider finding a pediatrician, i think our family practice doctor is good for me because she doesn't get caught up on stats and looks at the whole child.

crock pot creations...

this week, i've rediscovered the joy and simplicity of letting my crock pot do the work. (i was really glad i had eaten before going to vote last night!) on monday, i made italian chicken breasts. yesterday i made what i'm calling garlic soy pork chops. i don't do exact measurements, but both of these were so successful that i thought i'd share with estimated measurements. (i think i posted the italian chicken recipe a while back, but i think it tasted better this time with a couple of additions)... so, take these ideas and run with them....

italian chicken
4 frozen boneless skinless chicken breasts
1/2 onion, chopped
2-3 garlic cloves
1 can chicken broth for extra flavor (optional)
1 can diced tomatoes, italian seasoned
1 small can tomato sauce
italian seasoning to taste
ground salt and pepper to test
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 cup mushrooms, sliced
italian seasoning mix

Throw everything into the crock pot and season generously. Cook on low for 8 hours, stir occasionally. Serve over Spanish-style or long-grain rice. (I like zataran's or uncle ben's).

garlic soy pork chops
4 frozen boneless pork chops
3 garlic cloves, minced
ground salt and pepper to taste
(we like lots of seasoning)
dried rosemary to taste (about 1 tbsp)
1 c mushrooms, sliced
soy sauce to taste

throw all ingredients into the pot, cover with water (enough to fully cover meat). shake in enough soy sauce so the water turns brown and you smell the soy. add seasonings. stir. cook on low for 8 hours, stir occasionally. serve over buttered egg noddles.

bon appetit

civic duty fulfilled for the evening...

i left the house at 6:10, arrived ad the voting location about 6:15, and pulled into the driveway at 10:00 p.m. about an hour into my wait, i ran into next door/across the side street neighbor, who asked how much we paid mr. lawn guy to aerate our yard. joined in conversations with the other sore-footed voters around me. it looks like a guy who was in my freshman studies group at utm may win a seat in the state house. not surprising to see him run, although i didn't know him that well. it makes me feel old... and then i'm reminded that crt and bil have a friend who is already a representative in his state's.

it's a good thing hubby voted early and baby bear didn't have to come with me.

about 30 people remained in line when i left the building. i think the candidates should have a registration fee that goes to purchase more voting booths for their (prospective) constituents. that's one way to prove they care about our votes.

from weeds to pasture...

it's that time of year. the time to get a head start on next year's lawn. our yard is in desperate need of tlc, and hubby and i have been discussing how to fix it for about a month now. in the past, a company offered a $50 special in our neighborhood. we didn't get a flier from them this year, so hubby had pretty much resigned himself to borrowing a pick-up truck and renting an aerator or power seeder from hardware super-store.

as i drove out of the neighborhood, i noticed a truck with what appeared to be an aerator or power-seeder in the trailer. i wasn't going far, just going to drop off movies at the neighborhood, family-owned (non chain) video store. i stopped and browsed at the scrapbook shop while i was in the plaza, and miraculously did not spend any money!

God must have been rewarding me for practicing self-control, for when i came to the stop sign at the top of the hill and turned right, there was that truck... and a man chatting with the owner of the yard which he had just aerated. i politely interrupted, asked the lawn man if he'd give me an estimate, and went on my way home...

about 15 minutes later, he showed up! not only did he show up, he gave us a quote that beat what we would have paid to rent an inferior machine from hardware super-store. and he tore it up. literally. imagine a combination of a riding lawn mower and a farm combine... that's what the front looked like to me, a mini combine tiller. (forgive me if my fram terminology is wrong.) the spikes had to be at least 6 inches long. i expected to see plugs pulled up, leaving holes for future seeding and water to fall into. we got plugs, all right. by the time lawn guy was finished, our flat, compressed lawn of dead crabgrass and weeds looked more like a pasture recently trampled by a herd of cattle. the clumps were not the usual rabbit-droppings, rather big clumps of dirt and uprooted weeds. hannah watched curiously, i got a kick out of seeing our lawn torn up. (we do have a general knowledge of how a lawn should be maintained, we just don't apply it.... and in TN heat, the weeds take over pretty quickly. when you live next door to mr. golf course yard, a mediocre to overgrown one looks even worse.)

when mr. yard guy finished, i don't think he realized that i actually understood our yard was pathetic and needed serious help, help which he had jump started. i asked for his phone # in case we need to call him next year. he thought i was getting it for hubby to call him wondering why our yard looks like a kicked-up pasture.

i should have taken pictures... i have never seen an aeration job so thorough. he must have set the spokes on the deepest setting. i swear he covered every square inch 10 times. our yard isn't big, but it took him 20 minutes to finish the job on a big riding contraption!

so, i called hubby, told him about the affordable, thorough yard knight on the metal horse who came to the rescure of our lawn. when hubby came home, he used my dad's spreader that we borrowed 3 years ago and haven't returned to put down some seed... while he was spreading the seed, the rain drops started falling. oh, we still need to add about 50 lbs. of seed to what he spread tonight, but at least something got into all those holes and underneath the uprooted tufts of crab grass into a place suitable for germination. and even if some of the holes close up in tonight's showers, i suspect the yard will still be more receptive to seed in 2 days than if mr. yard guy hadn't come to hubby's rescue with the riding aerator.

time will tell if we'll have a green "pasture" next season...

next project: buy spring bulbs and plant them before they go out of stock.

an overlooked holiday...

inkling referenced reformation day in her imaginative musings on october 31st. i hope i am not the only one who didn't even realize that something far more important should be commemorated in the hustle and bustle of passing out candy to trick-or-treaters, and dressing my little one up in her kitty cat outfit and pumpkin costume... shame, shame...

something greater-japan

the pastor of hamilton hills baptist in fishers, which we've visited with crt (of the aslan's child blog) periodically over the last 7 years, recently returned from a trip to japan. God has laid this country on his heart. read and pray for the believers across the globe.

i haven't read the whole blog, but it is interesting to read the perspectives of pator randy, his wife dale, and their youngest son, elliot. i was especially touched by the store of daigo, who drives an hour and a half to and from church and pays tolls and parking fees. we complain about our 30 minute drive.

it's not too late to get 30, 40, or 50% hostess benefits!
my hostess of tonight's show will end up with over $300 in FREE jewelry and the opportunity to purchase 8 items at 1/2 price. way to go, lisa!

that's my shameless plug for the week.

quotable quip from the weekend:

my adorable 3 year old niece, when she turned bear's fish tank/night light upside down and the plastic fish inside floated to the top of the 'bowl": "nemo's dead!"

baritone no more...

at least, not for "officially"... our precious niece's 1st birthday party is the same day as the holiday chorus concerts. can't do both, family comes first! i'm disappointed... i'm not sure we can swing the membership dues for me to actually join the chorus, although i am convinced they would be well worth it. i enjoyed my 1 night as a sweet adeline's chorus member.

isn't it interesting...
that you don't have to teach a child to "dance" or clap to music?

Happy Birthday, Hannah-Bear!

The only thing that goes faster than 9 months of pregnancy is the 1st year of your baby's life.... and i'm betting every year afterward! We'll celebrate on Saturday, when almost our whole family and a few friends join us for the big party.

dave ramsey would be proud...

ok, not really. we still use credit cards, thus dave would say we spend more than we should even though we pay them off every month. he has a point, but cash burns a hole in my pocket, and baby bear might eat it out of my wallet anyway, given the opportunity.... we really track our spending better this way. hubby even created a budget spreadsheet for himself.

i called the bank to get the payoff amount for our big vehicle. we decided it would be wise to just get rid of the payment, even though the % was pretty good. paying no interest is better than paying even just a little interest. our savings won't look very pretty, but we will be not have a $243 car payment anymore. happy halloween to us. not that halloween has anything to do with it, it just hppens to be the due date. that means the only debt left after this month will be our mortgage. i think i'm going to write this check, since the vehicle is actually financed with me listed first on the loan. it will make me feel rich to write a check that big... but then i'll feel broke again. at least the vehicle will be truly OURS!!!!!!

God has provided through some tighter times this year, we are so grateful.

more insomnia...

i've been waking up and unable to get back to sleep easily lately. i hate it. i like sleep. a lot.
so here i am, blogging because i've been tossing and turning for about an hour. i could continue working on baby bear's scrapbook but some things i want to use are in a cute little storage box in her closet. oh, they are safe, but to try to get the box out without disturbing sleeping beauty would be... stupid.

reflections on this weekend.... and this time last year...
we had grand intentions of getting a good head start on preparing for baby bear's 1st birthday party. there are many things i've said i would not do in my life. one was "throw a big birthday party for a 1 year old". boy, am i eating my words!!!!! it is true that she most likely will not remember the ordeal, except when she looks at pictures in her baby book and scrapbook. however, we have a lot to celebrate. a year ago, i was probably more anxious and excited than i have ever been in my life. baby bear's birth was scheduled. daddy bear's eminent 7 week "disappearance" loomed on the horizon as a cruel yet necessary reality of his chosen field of work. since he had already reported to his office a week earlier, we had experience a taste of what life would be like upon his return from training. evenings together, weekends together, church together. those things had been rare during the previous 3 years. his new job brought hope of something better than him patroling the streets of one of the worst areas of the city, then reporting to court for hours before finally returning home to nap before waking up for work again. i can't say that i miss his police officer schedule.

anyway, this time last year i would have scoffed at the idea of throwing a big party for a 1 year old. at first i said "just family" woul be invited. i didn't expect everyone to be able to make it. and since we have parents, siblings, & nieces, the # of attendees is naturally a big one. and i can't wait. so we've invited mostly family and a few close friends. we didn't even get to baby bear's baby friends this year. but since the party is for us anyway, we'll stick with family and friends.

this weekend was supposed to be full of cleaning house and party prep. ha. my red-headed neighbor who owns the new video shop up the road convinced me to join her for a scrapbooking lesson. i don't know why i alway feel the need to buy instruction on things. look how far it got me with breastfeeding. i need to learn to relax and just do "it". whatever "it" may be. anyway, a new scrap shop opened next to red-head's video store, and i found myself spending over 3 1/2 hours there on Saturday morning. thankfully, the money spent on the class and my early Christmas (the scrapbook itself) has resulted in a rediscovered motivation to record my daughter's life. so now our firstborn will have a fill-in calendar, a baby book, and a scrapbook. i already feel sorry for our future kids, who will be lucky to have just one of the above.

daddy bear and i did do some work outside.... he did a LOT. i pulled up some dead annuals which had been annoying me for about 2 weeks. (baby bear took a good nap!!! woo hoo!!) then, we grabbed a bite at pizza hut and took baby bear shopping for her birthday gift. i figure since she liked what we picked in the store, she'll be excited to see her gifts again on saturday. and this is the only age we can actually pick her gifts out right in front of her. upon our return home, we bathed baby bear, put her to bed, and i began actually putting the scrapbook together while we watched a video. that's my kind of multitasking.

well, these are my insomniac ramblings for now. this week is sure to bring a little house cleaning (i'm not martha stewart-esque, but thankfully my family knows that and loves me anyway). wednesday will bring... the real birthday, which will probably be the calm before the party begins Friday night, with the arrival of baby bear's dear cousins. she will probably be sure to chase them up the stairs if we let her. and saturday will be the grand celebration of the first year of the sweetest addition to our family, with lots of loved ones. photographed by randot studio, of course. (forgive my assumption, but i think it's a safe one.)

October is breastcancer awareness month!

This post is in honor of all the victims and survivors, as well as their friends and family. This includes my Uncle Gary's sister, Megan, who fought the battle for many years.

The increased incidence of breast cancer, as well as all other cancers in general, boggles my mine. I'm by now means a vegan or "granola mom". I probably should pay more attention to the health-conscious. But Barbara Curtis posted a link that captured my attention highlighting the correlation between steroid contraception and cancer. Read and think...

Here's another related link.

barbershop, anyone?

oops. i told tech mom that i would show her how to edit her links on her blog last night. well, a couple of weeks ago, i decided to try my voice in a sweet adeline's chorus. a neighbor is a part of the chorus, and they extended an invitation to the general public to join them for 3 songs during their upcoming holiday concert. so guess what? i'm singing the baritone part! i get to drive hubby nuts listening to the training cd's over and over again. j/k. i'll drive hannah nits before daddy gets home. still, the cd's are a pretty cool tool. the "master director" is also the choir director at a local private school. she reminds me of a younger version of mrs. bomeli from my school in michigan. maybe the reason i'm doing this is because i never had the guts to try out for the girls' barbershop chorus at gbhs and always wished i could. anyway, it will be fun, and it's a short-term commitment. to top it off, i think it's an honor because this particular chorus won the 2006 international harmony classic competition. last night the other guests and i were assigned a riser buddy and we jumped right into vocal warm-ups and learning the 3 songs we'll sing with metro nashville chorus

so, sorry tech-mom. but i was out exercising my vocal chords by saying something other than "no, hannah!

rainy day

it's been one of those rainy autumn days. the kind where you want to stay curled up under the covers with a good book or two all day. alas, that's no longer an option in our house. baby bear wakes up no later than 7:30 a.m., and we must wake up with her. our little one thinks mommy and daddy's bed is to climb on, not sleep in. she sleeps best in her crib, and it's been months since she fell asleep next to me for a nap, or since she fell asleep on me, for that matter. that makes me sad. i wonder if a rocking chair would help. i could handle rocking with my baby and a blanket, looking out the window at the rain.

we ventured to an office store and the post office today. baby bear looked so adorable in her silver hooded vest with white faux fur trim. she was even cuter as she fell asleep on the way back from the post office and stayed asleep while i transferred her to her crib. note to self- bring baby in last and see if she will sleep in my arms for a few minutes next time she falls asleep in the car.

i made homemade chicken soup. it was a disappointment.. maybe it will taste better tomorrow, after the flavors set longer. i used leftover costco rotisserie chicken instead of boneless skinless chicken breast, and i'm not sure that was the best choice. it couldn't have been too bad, though, because bb gobbled up her portion, well sort of... baby bear showed her preference for meat and carbs. she ate the noodles first, tried some of the tender chicken bits, and after she'd had her fill of carrots and celery, she proceeded to drop bits of the colorful veggies onto the floor. unfortunately for us, her "punishment" was more of a reward (bathtime). whoever said children are naturally innocent didn't have any. she knew exactly what she was doing when she slowly pinched those veggies and moved her arm into the open space before releasing her grasp. she looked back and forth between mommy and daddy to see if we would be united in our response or if one of us would laugh. tomorrow, mommy might just grind up the solids and feed her soup to her from a spoon.

i can't believe the wind has been blowing all day. it's so blustery, i hope baby bear sleeps ok. i'm ready for my head to hit my fresh, crisp pillowcase. clean sheets always help me sleep better for some reason.

drat. i tried to post directly from picasa, and it didn't let me choose which of my blogs i wanted to put the pictures on. so hannah's pictures came straight here instead of to her cave. go figure. so we may end up with some duplicates on her blog when i get around to it. if i complain about poor functionality, remind me this service is free.

The above photos were taken our last day visiting Great-Gramma.
She looked so much better once she was in the nursing home, off the IV's, etc.
Except for the black eye she got during her fall. That looked worse.
As you can see, Hannah was not very cooperative with posing. Shocking. 

hannah met ollie the otter puppet when we
spent the night in memphis, before we left for wisconsin with gramma debbie.




our brown-eyed girl












"give me that camera!"




clean carpet in great-gramma's living room (gramma debbie remembers when the couches were new!) 

I had my 2nd jewelry show in a week tonight. Small turnout, but good show. The home party/show business is a funny thing. One night you may have a large turnout and $1,000+ in orders. that's not my norm. Tonight, we had 2 guests plus my hostess and me. We played in my jewelry, flipped through the catalog, and they shopped for Christmas gifts for family members and themselves. Most importantly, I got to know 3 girls from my Sunday School class a little better. And even with the small turnout, my hostess gets $73 in free jewelry and 4 items at 1/2 price.

Historically (for me), my business has been more of a hobby. Sometimes it's been a source of frustration, but many times it has filled a void. Baby bear's "toss the taggie" ball was purchased immediately after a show while a dear friend and i walked through downtown clarksville. i also found 2 beautiful, unique skirts that i was able to pay for out of my money. ok, so my money is our money. But hubby has not hounded me for my earnings, he's always let me do what i want with my business earnings. It's a nice break from the "receipt nazi" i know and love.

We're at the point now where we need my hobby to be more of a business, and it's been nice to know I have that opportunity already within my reach. It's also nice to know that no matter how large or small one of my home shows is , the rewards go far beyond financial for me. I had so much fun chatting with the girls, and I LOVED telling my hostess how much jewelry she can choose thanks to the best hostess plan ever.

2 down, 23 to go in the next 120 days. anyone wanna get some free jewelry? i promised myself that i will only go to national rally (our business convention) if i have turned my hobby into a business and get to walk across the stage for something, so i'm trying to make the 25 home-show club. you can't reach a goal if you don't have one to begin with.

frail

there have been certain seasons of my life in which i've been more aware of our human frailty than other times. previous posts have reflected on fragile newborns and preemie's. my last post touched on our gramma's fall. while i was in memphis, hubby's dad observed how life consists of awakening and strengthening, and then falling back asleep and wearing out. sometime's that cycle involves a "normal" pattern. other times, God changes the order or timing, causing us to search our hearts to find what we truly believe.

gramma's fall is an example of what happens in the "normal" timeframe. we expect 80-somethings' bodies to show signs of age.

one of my closest friends is dealing with her father's diagnosis of stage iv lung cancer. the cancer is in his lung's, adrenal glands, and brain stem. she and her parents are believers, yet this sudden diagnosis as well as the rapid progression of symptoms bring emotional debris like a hurricane brings to the coast.

it's times like this that i want to tell my friend that everything will be ok. but i can't. sure, i could pull out any number of scriptures that apply, but she knows them just as well as i do (probably better). all i can do is pray. listen. (by phone or blog).

it's times like this that i don't understand how people survive without God.

back to the blogosphere...

i've been in the country for a week (without a shower, nevermind the web... don't worry, i had a bathtub and used it)....

i should be asleep right now. it's hard to believe that i am typing this in the space that served as our kitchenette for the first 3 years of our married life. baby bear is soundly resting in caslon's old bedroom. hubby is home in our bed, and i can't wait to see him again. princess the kitty is recouping from being chased incessantly by the mini person who comes to visit, and is bigger and more mobile every time. serves her right for not retreating.

great-gramma is doing well. she had her 1st official PT session today and it hurt much less than she anticipated. yay for pain meds! gramma is an amazingly strong woman. i knew this, but was reminded again this past week as hubby's mom, baby bear and i were in wisconsin. she is a woman of her word, and at 86 most people her age can use memory as an excuse. not that hers is perfect, but it has to be pretty close. i think she has her whole phone book memorized. we had tears in our eyes as we walked down the hall away from her room in the rehab center yesterday. i am grateful i was able to accompany hubby's dear mom. baby bear added some greatly-needed joy to the journey, her great-gramma's face lit up every day when we arrived.

more reflections to come. good night for now.

rough day, good evening, and recurring insomnia

today was a rough day. i did manage to swiffer the kitchen floor, do dishes and switch laundry, so it was semi-productive. and it wan't that baby bear was bad. she's never really bad. i was just in this pms funk without the cramps or bleeding. but that's what it felt like.

hubby came home, we ate dinner, and i drove to a premier training. it always does me good to be around positive people who love what they're doing and know why they do it. tonight was no exception. angel actually had reasons to be frazzled (the hose connected to her washing machine burst and her house flooded while she was away), but God gave her the grace to somehow stay focused and positive. she hasz such a servant's heart. i saw some of the new jewelry, and it's fabulous. ok, so some of it has been out since august so it's no longer brand new. but i'm getting back into things (yes, really), so it's new to me. i am excited about helping my scheduled hostesses get free jewelry, especially when it's so beautiful. the best part was not the time management tips, the booking talk, or even the jewelry. it was seeing old friends whom i've grown to love and respect in the past couple of years. no matter how my business has gone-or not gone- they have been there with open arms, and occasional e-mails just to check in.

the insomnia... well, probably partly due to my head spinning with everything i have to squeeze in tomorrow. i suspect some of the business stuff will get pushed aside until wednesday. but that is the beauty of a home-based business. you can prioritize and pick up where you left off...... preferrably after a good night's sleep.

cultural" icons"

news flash:oprah doesn't want to run for president. this guy needs to realize it before he gets sued for harrassment.

on a smaller scale, derek webb, former lead singer of caedmon's call, has released his latest album mockingbird for free download. it's not what one might expect if you have only heard his early stuff. apparently some people don't like it... what's your opinion? download (click on the icon in my sidebar), listen, and join the conversation. (more of my thoughts on this to come shortly...) i'm particularly interested in my good friends' zann and caslon artistic takes on this... i will say that i think the worley guy is trying to define art according to his terms...

good urban sprawl

when we first moved to our house, the closest grocery store was 10 minutes away (20 in rush hour). last fall, a new store opened up, along with a walgreens, about 3 minutes driving distance from our house. it's almost close enough to walk to if you care to play frogger across a busy road... and if you are just picking up small, non-refrigerated goods.

anyway, another new grocery store opened up. walking to this one, as well as the sub shop, mexican restaurant and whatever other tenants open up in the plaza, is more feasible. it's still not wise if we're buying refrigerated goods, but it's no further than the distance my parents walked to stores in the suburbs of NYC.

opponents of urban sprawl blame it on the rise of crime in the inner city. unfortunately, most of us do not have the faith or foolishness (depending on your point of view) to fight the good fight 2 blocks from the projects. i respect and admire my friends who have chosen to try to bring light into such dark places. my hubby, after spending nights patroling inner city streets, thinks they may be insane.

anyway, i'm just glad i don't have to waste as much time or gas money to get groceries. and starbucks is under construction, so i could feasibly push the stroller the mile there, get my frappucino caramel macciato, then walk home to burn some of the 600 calories i just splurged on. and if the rumors of chilis, target, kohl's and/or o'charleys setting up shop nearby become reality, we'll be even more thankful for urban sprawl. except for the increased traffic that would be sure to follow. but i'd also need a curves to move into one of the vacant storefronts.

good urban sprawl

when we first moved to our house, the closest grocery store was 10 minutes away. last fall, a new store opened up, along with a walgreens, about 3 minutes driving distance from our house. it's almost close enough to walk to if you care to play frogger across a busy road... and if you are just picking up small, non-refrigerated goods.

anyway, another new grocery store opened up this week. walking to this one, as well as the sub shop, mexican restaurant and whatever other tenants open up in the plaza, is more feasible. it's still not wise if we're buying refrigerated goods, but it's no further than the distance my parents walked to stores in the suburbs of NYC.

opponents of urban sprawl blame it on the rise of crime in the inner city. proponents blame the crime on the urban sprawl. unfortunately, most of us do not have the faith or foolishness (depending on your point of view) to fight the good fight 2 blocks from the projects. i respect and admire my friends who have chosen to try to bring light into such dark places. my hubby, after spending nights patroling inner city streets, thinks they may be insane. ok, enough sociological commentary...

anyway, i'm just glad i don't have to waste as much time or gas money to get groceries. and starbucks is under construction, so in a couple of months, i could feasibly push the stroller the mile there, get my frappucino caramel macciato, then walk home to burn some of the 600 calories i just splurged on. (oh wait, in a couple of months i'll want hot drink if i walk that far.) and if the rumors of chilis, target, kohl's and/or o'charleys setting up shop nearby become reality, we'll be even more thankful for urban sprawl. except for the increased traffic that would be sure to follow. but i'd also need a curves to move into one of the vacant storefronts due to the restaurants tempting me not to cook.

blast from the past?

we got a phone call on our home phone last night around 9:30 p.m. most people who call us that late use our cells, so it took us a little bit by surprise. the caller was the class president of hubby's high school class. he had apparently tracked us down through gramma, and was calling to let hubby know of their upcoming class reunion.

we aren't sure if we're going yet... if we do, gramma will be thrilled to see her great-grandbaby, and then she'll get to see her 2 weeks later, when she flies to TN to join in the 1st birthday celebration.

apparently 80% of the class still lives within 30 miles of the small town where they went to school. hubby logged onto classmates, something i've never seen him do before, and discovered that one of his old buddies is married with kids.

the reunion sounds like it will be pretty casual, culminating with people hitting the bars in the small town. i think we'll skip that part if we go. it would be interesting to meet some of the people my hubby grew up with, hear a little more about what he was like growing up (from non-family perspective). it's strange to consider that we'll probably be the most southern-sounding pair there. unless our midwest accents instinctively kick back in... that is, if we go, of course...

Update on baby Charity...

After reviewing the recent ultrasounds.. the doctor has changed this sweet unborn baby's diagnosis from spina-bifida to encephalocele and hydrocephalus. This means that Charity may be able to be birthed vaginally instead of via c-section. There is a cyst/attachment where the plates of the skull join on the back, but it does not appear to have anybrain cells inside of it.
The overall prognosis is she may live minutes to weeks to months to years....
continue to pray for Charity's Mom, Amy, as well as her twin sister, Hannah as they continue to develop inside the womb. Pray for healing, and most of all for peace for the family as their is so much uncertainty surrounding this little baby's health. Pray for Adam and Pat Hall, the proud and concerned grandparents, as they help their children. Their son Reid's wife is also expecting a little girl within a few weeks of their daughter Amy's twins. Reid livez in Texas, Amy is in Tennessee.

hubby's turning into a mechanic

he spent yesterday afternoon tracking down parts, and this morning he went to a co-worker's house to use the floor jacks and do the work. firestone wanted to charge way too much and we don't know if we can trust any of the local guys. so his co-worker offered to help with maintenance repairs on our '99 mazda. cv boots, brakes, and some wires that may be causing the engine to be sluggish all needed replacing... these things happen when a car hits 100K miles. the things one will do to save $$$. i get the cheap haircut, hubby turns into a mechanic. i have to say, my "sacrifice" is much easier to bear.

i got a haircut yesterday. quite a few of them, actually. i long for the day when i can go to a full- service salon again, get the pampering treatment with the scalp massage during the shampoo, etc... until then, it's the cheap place next to the grocery store down the road for me. at least my stylist is a decent conversationalist. she cuts my hair as well as half the people i've had at the expensive place. i'll stop here, before i say some things i'll later regret. at least hubby was home to take care of baby so i could go out by myself.

One of the things I appreciate most abut where we attend church is the reminder of how the Gospel of salvation through Jesus Christ should affect a believer's life. While the churches I grew up in often gave lip service to salvation by grace through faith alone, works were always attached. Not that we should not seek to honor God through our actions, but works and guilt always seemed to coincide together, pushing grace to the back burner. Grace was often acted out as "thank God I'm not like that" (you fill in the blank if you want to). Even in college, while I was blessed to be surrounded by believers who genuinely seemed to seek the Lord's glory, there was a constant reminder that many people just didn't feel comfortable in the campus ministry I was part of. Perhaps because they felt judged instead of loved by those who should have been instruments of God's grace? But I digress, that's another blog entry for another time... today, I want to share some notes on community that were given to our Mom's fellowship by Darlene Smith, our pastor's wife.

Marks of Gospel-Community for Mothers of Pre-schoolers
(if you are not a MOP, they still apply in some form, I promise)

1. The gospel frees us from trying to validate ourselves through our performance as mothers.

2. The gospel frees us to admit when we are overwhelmed, exhausted and not sure we can go on. We don't have to pretend!

3. The gospel frees us to humble ourselves before one another, and seek prayer, encouragement, counsel and hope. We are called to bear one another's burdens, not preen before one another with our perfect parenting.

4. The gospel frees us from comparing ourselves to one another as mothers.... How our kids dress, behave, where our kids are in their developmental stages, and how they achieve.

5. The gospel frees us from getting stuck in a sense of failure, AND from boasting in a sense of success.

6. The gospel frees us from the fears of being the worst of our mothers, or not measuring up to the agenda of our mothers, or mothers-in-law.

7. The gospel frees us to know that our children mean a lot more to Jesus than they do to us. We can trust Jesus with our children.

8. The gospel frees us to give to eacho other when we don't feel like we have anuthing to give. Oh the power of a little encouragement! Remember, we have this treasure in a jar of clay... we help one another the most when we care for one another from a place of brokenness, not a place of strength.

9. The gospel frees us to call each other to 'gosepl sanity" over and over. We fall back into performance-based living all the time!

10. The gospel calls us to the joy and peace God's grace alone can bring.
******
In case you don't know the Gospel, it's a simple as these verses:

• John 3:16- "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life."

• Ephesians 2:8- "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."

I pray that all will accept God's gift of salvation through Jesus alone, and that we may rejoice in these implications of the good news in our lives.

be sure to check out the new photos on baby bear's blog! i went a little crazy tonight. hubby let me use the new computer, which made it much easier than craning my neck to see the big monitor that we have the old laptop connected to 3 feet from the keyboard. (consequences of my busting the monitor in the process of trying to kill a spider.)

Where were you on 9-11?

I was at Cordova High School, teaching Spanish 1. My 4th period class was arriving. This was my most difficult class to teach, or I should say to manage. The variety of colorful personalities combined with the complacency of youth. Just plain laziness in some cases. By the end of the year, these kids would grow on me.

I think back on that day and remember faces, but not names. Scary. I'm too young to forget names already. It's only been 5 years since I left CHS.

Anyway, I forget a lot of the names. I very clearly remember the students coming in and asking "Mrs. Tomas, have you head what happened in New York?"
"What?" I thought it was going to be a punchline for a stupid joke, anything to get me to put off the day's vocab quiz.
"Two planes just flew into the twin towers?"
Was this some kind of sick joke? "You've heard a rumor right? A threat?" I asked.
"No, really, turn on Channel One."
Ah, Channel One. It had been around since I was in high school. Since when did these kids start watching Channel One? Ok, some did. But most in this class ignored it. And besides, it wasn't our"time" to watch. That was for after lunch.

I turned on the tv. Not even these kids would make up a story like this. Sure enough, there they were. Images of buildings I had seen in person, smoldering. Replays of two airplanes purposefully crashing into the mirrored twin towers.

My brain started spinning. I thought of relatives who could potentially be anywhere near the towers... Uncle Alan... he was with Mom and Dad visiting Aunt Andrea and Uncle Gary in California. Grandpa? He lived in a suburb, but his companion Micki lived somewhere in Manhattan. Tom? (Now that I think of it, I believe Grandpa was in Big Bear for that trip, too.)
I didn't believe it. The thought was absurd.

I remember facing a dilemna. As I said earlier, this class was my most difficult class to manage. It was only my 2nd year of teaching, and obviously I had not experienced anything like this during my own years as a student. I chose to try to maintain a sense of normalcy. Yes, the quiz would go on. (I dropped the lowest quiz grade each marking period, I figured that would help.) Plus, this was the class in which over 50% just didn't study. There was no bell curve, they were one extreme or the other. I knew that the kids who had studied would be ok, those who hadn't wanted to blame failing yet another quiz on something anyway.

I gave the kids time to review and pull their thoughts together. I had to pull my thoughts together. I did choose to ditch the lesson plan, except for the quiz. After the quiz, I turned the tv back on. History was happening. America had been attacked. Our illusion of security had been shattered. On September 11, 2001 I saw kids become adults in a certain way. I couldn't come out and directly tell each one of them how I hoped this would make them grow up. I don't think any of us could completely understand. But the funny thing was, I did not need to tell these kids to grow up. For once, these "traviesos" were not up to anything, they were vulnerable. Their facade of teenage immortality had been shattered. Their faces reflected the confusion and shock that the rest of the nation shared.

I vaguely remember the principal making some sort of announcement that we should try to continue and utilize all educational time as usual. But this day was not "class as usual". These were not elementary students whose parents should be the ones to explain what happened. So for me and my students, other than the quiz, it was a day for us to be a part of history. We watched the news in horror and sadness. Even though there is officially no prayer in public schools, I am sure I wasn't the only one praying for the families of those who perished.

Tomorrow, on the 5th anniversary of the September 11th attacks on America, I wonder what my former students will remember about that day....

pray for these precious unborn babies...

the minister who officiated our wedding ceremony sent me this request, and i told him i would forward it on to all who will pray...

he and his wife are expecting 3 more granddaughters in October/November.
One of them, Charity Promise, has been diagnosed with Spina Bifida. Her twin sister, Hannah Ruth, appears healthy. The 3rd (the twins' cousin) is also healthy as far as we know.

Please pray for healing for Charity, for a miracle that would show everyone "God did this." If complete healing is not how Hechooses to answer, please pray for her parents, grandparents, and siblings as they adjust to life with a special needs baby girl. Pray that God will be glorified in her life. Wouldn't it be awesome if the doctors are perplexed as to why they "had" to do a c-section when she is born? (Right now that sounds like the safest option with her diagnosis.)

And while we're praying for unborn little ones...
pray for my very good friend Stephanie and her little girl Caroline Ashley, due 11/21. So far so good in their pregnancy. Pray that hubby/daddy will return home from Iraq in time for his first child's birth. Pray that the pregnancy continues to be happy and healthy, etc...

miscellany...

last weekend, we were with hubby's brother, sister, and families in indy. the girls (em, mad & hannah) were full speed ahead, as would be expected from a 5year old and almost 3 and 1 year olds.

this week, we slowed down a little. we had a leisurely lunch with my brother and his wife on the river overlooking louisville on our way home. we must take a weekend to visit them some time.

we returned home, and my allergies turned into a cold... which hannah caught. i thought we were better yesterday, so we took anna's frozen stuffed peppers down to the intended recipients... as soon as i arrived, i knew i'd made a mistake. not because of who i was visiting, but because the drive had exhausted me. on the way down (it's 50 plus miles from our house o dear friends'), I noticed that the fall colors are creeping into middle tn. a hint of yellow is peeking through the green. but by the time we got there, i was exhausted from the drive. i love scenic drives. i was reminded of childhood trips to Porter's Orchard in Michigan when I passed the Morning Glory Orchard just south of Nolensville. (Although Porter's is much larger business. I remember they used to have homemade doughnuts. Better than Krispy Kreme... real cake donuts that taste awesome dipped in fresh cider, hot or cold..) Perhaps last weekend's crisp air in Indy helped bring back those memories.

we enjoyed our short visit, isabella is 11 days older than hannah and walking quite well. (hannah is content to cruise or crawl for the time being.) i hope we didn't share too many germs...

i just talked to my parents...
God opened up doors for him to display his paintings and some of his photography at a luxury development in NC today. the response seemed positive, and the owner of the gallery that he "accidentally" pulled into to let a cop pass him a few weeks ago is going to designate a wall to his artwork. Dad's paintings and photography reflect something he's been passionate about as long as I can remember... God's creation. He's dabbled in various art forms for as long as I can remember... photography, ceramics, woodwork, folk art (Painting on wood). Most recently, his paintings have been inspired by the beauty of the Smokies and other parks, especially waterfalls. He uses acrylics, but his paintings don't look like the "craft acrylic"... they are detailed and you can see that he puts his heart into each one. They sold one and generated interest. It's an open door to a whole different world for him. It il be interesting to see how this story unfolds.

While my parents had an exciting day, we relaxed.
I'm still in my PJ's from last night (I might as well not bother changing them). First, we attempted to sleep in, but Hannah had slept 12 hours and was ready to party. We did Later,we did a little house work, played with Hannah a lot. Except for the return of Hannah's runny nose and the return of my fatigue and stuffy head, it was a perfect Saturday.

i opened my mail box to a shocking realization today... my baby is growing up.

ok, so that tends to be the subject of many posts. it seems she's always doing something that astounds me.

this time, it was her nursery assignment. she's moving up 5 rooms. ok, so one room is a crib room that is shared by the wee ones just for naps. baby bear has been in the 1st nursery room since she was little, we knew she would be moving up... but 5 rooms?

the 2nd part of the shock was that the room she is assigned to is the room i help in twice a month. those kids seem so old compared to my baby!!!!

ah, but wait a minute. those kids are just turning 2, or about to turn 2. when they started last fall, they were close to my baby's current age. they just grew up in the last year. and since i didn't start working with them until january or so, i only watched them grow for half of a year. so it must be true that when they entered this class, some of them were not even walking yet.

the 5 room thing is still kind of surprising, until i think of the number of wee ones that have been born since my baby bear.

my baby-turning toddler is begging for me to play with her and her blocks. gotta go before she grows up too fast and enters kindergarten while i'm online.

1. One book that changed your life:
The Holy Bible

2. One book that you’ve read more than once:
Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie (CRT, you really shouldn't be surprised), The Secret Garden, This Present Darkness, Piercing the Darkness

3. One book you’d want on a desert island:
my Bible, my journal

4. One book that made you laugh:
lots of them... most recently, Guess How Much I Love You (because my baby laughed at me attempting to act it out and she often giggles when I act stupid)

5. One book that made you cry:
The Red Tent, On Becoming Babywise & Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (not necessarily while reading them, but after I realized how they are not the "bibles" of raising an infant, as some had claimed), The Letter Box, An Arrow Pointing to Heaven, Redeeming Love

6. One book that you wish had been written:
maybe I'll write it myself when I figure it out

7. One book you wish had never been written:
The Book of Mormon, The Koran

8. One book you’re currently reading: the Mommy Manual- Barbara Curtis

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read:
Harry Potter series, Dr. Sears' books, Twelve Extraordinary Women, The Five Love Languages

10. Now tag five people:
Zann
Angela
Steph
Becca
Gina

downtime with family...


i must say, i've been very blessed. i married into a family where "in-law" hardly has any meaning anymore. it's a formality, something that does not really exist other than as a title. half the time, my mother-in-law doesn't seem to hear me when i call her by her first name. miraculously, if i just say "mom", i can get her attention.

i had hoped to go to south georgia to visit my cousin and her family this weekend. however, hubby HATES heat and humidity, so we decided we'll have to wait until it cools off a little down there. i'll hold him to that.

instead, we made our second trek of the summer to indy. this time, hubby's sister and her hubby also made the journey. it had been over 4 months since they saw hannah. and even though it's not even been 2 months since hannah saw her older cousins, in many ways she seems like a totally different child. 2 months ago, she was just learning to crawl and pull herself up. now she is quite proficient at chasing jessie the kitty and grabbing her fur. she pulls herself to standing on anything and anyone, and today she took her first swim in a big pool (with daddy).

we didn't have any major plans, and one of the things i love about our family is that vacation is just that. we travel a great distance to be together, and we are able to relax. i love to sit back and watch goose, monkey & bear play together. this trip, i've done that a lot. bear seems increasingly anxious to be able to do what she sees everyone else doing. em (aka goose) is especially willing to teach her young apprentice anything she physically able to do. when hannah couldn't ride the tricycle by herself, em scooted back so hannah could sit on the seat. then the pair scooted across the living room, the elder cousins arms keeping our young adventurer in place.

every weekend getaway that we are able to take makes me grateful for the time we have. it's so easy to get caught up in worrying about finances. but just a year ago there were days when hubby worked all night, then had to wait around a couple of hours before court, then had to wait around in court .... returning home close to a full day from when he left. he did not have most holidays off like the rest of us, and he rarely was able to even go to church.

so, our latest visit is ending. hopefully we have not worn out our welcome by taking advantage of hubby's much more flexible schedule. knowing our family, i doubt it. and i am grateful that our children are able to get to know their cousins, aunts and uncles by spending time with them several times per year. i left most of the memory capturing (picture taking) to the family experts, and just observed unbridled youth. having time to watch the little ones grow and play together is priceless.