observations....
My daughter and I have some personality similarities. I have a hard time remembering my early childhood. I remember bits and pieces, some highs, some lows. I remember some toys and activities, etc., but I don't remember what "I" was like as a person. So I asked Mom this weekend, shortly after a confrontation with my non-cooperative 6 year old. She said I held things in more than my girl does. Later on during the weekend, Dad mentioned that they were harder on us than we are on our kids. Hmmmm... in light of the fact that I now have a tendency to share too much, perhaps THAT's part of why I held things in.
Parenting is tough. You have to make decisions about discipline, etc... in areas that are far from black and white. YOU have to decide when to extend grace or mercy, or when to be strict and what some might call just.
One of my goals is to make sure that my kids know that our relationship is more important than the hierarchy. Respect is important, but I want them to trust me as well. I don't want them to be afraid to talk about things, and when the need for discipline arises, I want it to be productive, not demeaning. Finding that balance is hard.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
Friday, November 05, 2010
pardon me while i type one handed. my son is snuggled against my tummy, and i'm holding him a bit tighter tonight. i've heard the saying that goes something like, "having a child is like letting your heart walk around outside your body." i thought i knew what that meant the day my daughter was born. then, when she had her first bout of dehydration and daddy took her to the e.r. while i stayed home with baby brother. i thought i knew that saying's meaning then, too.
of course, there are times when they are so happy that my heart wells up with pride and joy for them. but today i experienced the terror of worrying about my baby on a new level.
the kids had been angels when we went the voting poll, and they were pretty good when we went to lunch at a local restaurant on the square. (little man was so filled up on pretzels and goldfish that he was not hungry, but he did not have any fits, so that qualifies as a success in my book.)
just before two o'clock we pulled into the apartment complex, checked the mail, and instead of parking and going inside for naptime, i decided to go to the playground for a few minutes.
i thought b was just behind me when i turned around to look at something that caught my eye. the reality was that he was straight on sissy's tail as she made her way to the monkey bars. at the top of a four foot high platform...
*****
11 pm 11/2: Both kiddos are in bed sound asleep.
As I remember... as I said, I had turned around for a second, thinking B was running near me. THUD. cry. "Oh, S***!!!!! God, no!" My heart raced as I ran toward my baby boy, who was face down under the monkey bars. Scared to pick him up, but dying to at the same time, I rolled him over to lay him flat. He looked at me, but his stare was rather blank. I noticed scrapes on the side of his forehead and above his cheekbone, but the bleeding was minimal. He closed his eyes. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed 911. Their staff was superb, staying on the line with me, helping me calm down. The 20 seconds or so his eyes were closed seemed like an eternity, but when he opened them he reached up and hugged my neck tightly. I breathed a huge sigh of relief, but was still worried. 911 lady kept talking to me as we waited for the ambulance, H stayed close, asking if her baby brother was ok but also somehow staying really, really calm and collected while Mommy went back and forth from near hysterics to deep breaths and hopefulness. A little 6 year old boy had come over from his apartment to play and matter of factly told me that he fell off a play gym once. (His mom was on her patio across the parking lot and she came over to see what was going on, too.) We heard the ambulance near, they pulled up on the other side of the park area and H ran over to show them where we were. The 3 EMT's/Firefighters came over, immediately began checking B's vitals and asked what happened. At that point, B was sitting in my lap facing out, eyes open but very quiet. He kept blinking as though he would fall asleep, and he was getting less responsive. When they first arrived, there was a possibility that I could drive him to the county hospital with a pediatric unit 20 minutes away, but we quickly determined he needed to go to the Children's Hospital of Atlanta for care. So one of the EMT's grabbed H's car seat out of our car (which was next to the play ground, thank God, as we had driven there in stead of parking and walking over from our building). B's vitals remained strong, but he kept falling asleep, and it wasn't long before he would not open his eyes when tickled. Of course, it was also his nap time, and the EMT tried to encourage me to be hopeful since I had told him that B was a heavy sleeper. However, I knew this was not my little bouncing baby boy's normal behavior. And it terrified me. He remained basically unresponsive, or extremely limited in his responses, for the next 2 hours or so.
In the ambulance, Big Sis sat in her car seat and observed, mostly. I had tried to call 2 local friends, and succeeded in texting one to share the news, but there just wasn't time to leave big sis anywhere. And with Daddy out of state, I also felt like she needed to be with us. She thought it was cool that we were flying past all the other vehicles on the highway. The EMT's and I kept trying to awaken him, but his sleep seemed to grow deeper... until they stuck him to give him an IV port just in case. Then he whimpered a little and said "ouch." While I hated to see him hurt, I knew that at least he was feeling things.
The rest of the evening is a blur. Hospital staff took H to another room to color and do some crafts, B had already been assigned a tag bracelet, and he was whisked into triage, followed shortly by a CT scan of the head and a x-ray of the c-spine. This is where Hope crept in. My boy began to come back to me. In the CT room, a projector displayed a rotating sea-life scene on the ceiling above the table. "Look, mama. Fish. Water." He pointed to the ceiling. He was laying still. The only time my 2 year old boy lays that still is when he sleeps. When we moved down the hall to X-ray, he saw pumpkin and cat decals on the ceiling and identified them. I explained to him that a big camera was going to take his picture, and asked him to look at the camera and say "cheese." He kept talking about the pumpkin, the cat, and the camera. For this scan, they even had to repeat a lateral film because he had moved his head while I helped hold his arms down flat.
His improvement continued while we waited in his ER room. He laid flat far longer than I had expected him to, but soon, he began rolling around. He was wearing a neck brace as a precaution, and it was not very long until he sat up. Shortly after that, Aunt Sara arrived, having survived rush hour traffic in Atlanta. Oh, how grateful I am for her tonight.
The nurses came in periodically to check his vitals, and he became increasingly more normal. His movement set of the equipment alarms. He pretended the TV remote was a telephone and called the nurses station for help by pressing the button as he talked on his "phone." He sang "the wheels on the bus go round and round." While he likes that song, I can't help but wonder if it because he knew he was in an ambulance (because we told him so) or rolling down the hall on a cot.
Finally, the doctor came in and authorized his release as his test were fine, and not a moment to soon. He showed her how he could stand on his bed and step up onto the railing while he hugged mommy's neck... with all his wires still attached.
As we drove home and the sky darkened, he sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" from his cousin's car seat. Big Sis fell asleep pretty quickly, but in the parking garage she told Aunt Sara that she did not like it when her brother got hurt.
(Thank God for babies in the family! We did not grab his car seat when we took Sissy's.) As we waited in the drive through at Chik-fil-A, he exclaimed "chicken!" And of course, when we pulled into our complex, he asked for the playground. I asked him if the playground was fun or scary. "Fun." But at one point I think he also said "Playground hurt."
As the evening progressed, we ate our dinner, watched a movie, and he began to play with the teddy bear he was given at the hospital (while at the hospital he was not really interested in it.) He wanted me to put his neck brace (yeah, I kept it) on the bear, along with the disposable pressure cuff the nurse had put on it. Then he told the bear to "wake up!" just like we had been telling him in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, when he had that glassy eyed look on his face (if his eyes were open at all).
He set his teddy bear on his pillow, then climbed into bed next to it.
Later, as I tucked Big Sis into bed and sang "You are my sunshine" as one of her lullabies, she changed the lyrics to "please don't take my brother away." My strong, brave girl did so well through this ordeal, too.
Sara's here with me tonight, I am so glad for the company. Daddy will be home on Friday as planned, since the test results were ok and our little man is already back to his old self.
****
Thank you to everyone who heard the news through the grapevine and prayed for us today. Four feet is a really long fall for a 2 year old, and Someone must have heard and softened his fall.
*****
23.5 hours later
11/3/10
My boy is in my lap again, chattering away, pretending a mini slinky is a camera and saying, "cheese." A few minutes ago, he and H were racing hobby horses around the apartment, and before that he was twirling in circles, throwing himself on the ground laughing and exclaiming, "hurt! mama! hurt" But then repeating the cycle. This is completely normal play for him.
God is so good!
of course, there are times when they are so happy that my heart wells up with pride and joy for them. but today i experienced the terror of worrying about my baby on a new level.
the kids had been angels when we went the voting poll, and they were pretty good when we went to lunch at a local restaurant on the square. (little man was so filled up on pretzels and goldfish that he was not hungry, but he did not have any fits, so that qualifies as a success in my book.)
just before two o'clock we pulled into the apartment complex, checked the mail, and instead of parking and going inside for naptime, i decided to go to the playground for a few minutes.
i thought b was just behind me when i turned around to look at something that caught my eye. the reality was that he was straight on sissy's tail as she made her way to the monkey bars. at the top of a four foot high platform...
*****
11 pm 11/2: Both kiddos are in bed sound asleep.
As I remember... as I said, I had turned around for a second, thinking B was running near me. THUD. cry. "Oh, S***!!!!! God, no!" My heart raced as I ran toward my baby boy, who was face down under the monkey bars. Scared to pick him up, but dying to at the same time, I rolled him over to lay him flat. He looked at me, but his stare was rather blank. I noticed scrapes on the side of his forehead and above his cheekbone, but the bleeding was minimal. He closed his eyes. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed 911. Their staff was superb, staying on the line with me, helping me calm down. The 20 seconds or so his eyes were closed seemed like an eternity, but when he opened them he reached up and hugged my neck tightly. I breathed a huge sigh of relief, but was still worried. 911 lady kept talking to me as we waited for the ambulance, H stayed close, asking if her baby brother was ok but also somehow staying really, really calm and collected while Mommy went back and forth from near hysterics to deep breaths and hopefulness. A little 6 year old boy had come over from his apartment to play and matter of factly told me that he fell off a play gym once. (His mom was on her patio across the parking lot and she came over to see what was going on, too.) We heard the ambulance near, they pulled up on the other side of the park area and H ran over to show them where we were. The 3 EMT's/Firefighters came over, immediately began checking B's vitals and asked what happened. At that point, B was sitting in my lap facing out, eyes open but very quiet. He kept blinking as though he would fall asleep, and he was getting less responsive. When they first arrived, there was a possibility that I could drive him to the county hospital with a pediatric unit 20 minutes away, but we quickly determined he needed to go to the Children's Hospital of Atlanta for care. So one of the EMT's grabbed H's car seat out of our car (which was next to the play ground, thank God, as we had driven there in stead of parking and walking over from our building). B's vitals remained strong, but he kept falling asleep, and it wasn't long before he would not open his eyes when tickled. Of course, it was also his nap time, and the EMT tried to encourage me to be hopeful since I had told him that B was a heavy sleeper. However, I knew this was not my little bouncing baby boy's normal behavior. And it terrified me. He remained basically unresponsive, or extremely limited in his responses, for the next 2 hours or so.
In the ambulance, Big Sis sat in her car seat and observed, mostly. I had tried to call 2 local friends, and succeeded in texting one to share the news, but there just wasn't time to leave big sis anywhere. And with Daddy out of state, I also felt like she needed to be with us. She thought it was cool that we were flying past all the other vehicles on the highway. The EMT's and I kept trying to awaken him, but his sleep seemed to grow deeper... until they stuck him to give him an IV port just in case. Then he whimpered a little and said "ouch." While I hated to see him hurt, I knew that at least he was feeling things.
The rest of the evening is a blur. Hospital staff took H to another room to color and do some crafts, B had already been assigned a tag bracelet, and he was whisked into triage, followed shortly by a CT scan of the head and a x-ray of the c-spine. This is where Hope crept in. My boy began to come back to me. In the CT room, a projector displayed a rotating sea-life scene on the ceiling above the table. "Look, mama. Fish. Water." He pointed to the ceiling. He was laying still. The only time my 2 year old boy lays that still is when he sleeps. When we moved down the hall to X-ray, he saw pumpkin and cat decals on the ceiling and identified them. I explained to him that a big camera was going to take his picture, and asked him to look at the camera and say "cheese." He kept talking about the pumpkin, the cat, and the camera. For this scan, they even had to repeat a lateral film because he had moved his head while I helped hold his arms down flat.
His improvement continued while we waited in his ER room. He laid flat far longer than I had expected him to, but soon, he began rolling around. He was wearing a neck brace as a precaution, and it was not very long until he sat up. Shortly after that, Aunt Sara arrived, having survived rush hour traffic in Atlanta. Oh, how grateful I am for her tonight.
The nurses came in periodically to check his vitals, and he became increasingly more normal. His movement set of the equipment alarms. He pretended the TV remote was a telephone and called the nurses station for help by pressing the button as he talked on his "phone." He sang "the wheels on the bus go round and round." While he likes that song, I can't help but wonder if it because he knew he was in an ambulance (because we told him so) or rolling down the hall on a cot.
Sitting up-with his neck brace on- in his ER room
As we drove home and the sky darkened, he sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" from his cousin's car seat. Big Sis fell asleep pretty quickly, but in the parking garage she told Aunt Sara that she did not like it when her brother got hurt.
(Thank God for babies in the family! We did not grab his car seat when we took Sissy's.) As we waited in the drive through at Chik-fil-A, he exclaimed "chicken!" And of course, when we pulled into our complex, he asked for the playground. I asked him if the playground was fun or scary. "Fun." But at one point I think he also said "Playground hurt."
As the evening progressed, we ate our dinner, watched a movie, and he began to play with the teddy bear he was given at the hospital (while at the hospital he was not really interested in it.) He wanted me to put his neck brace (yeah, I kept it) on the bear, along with the disposable pressure cuff the nurse had put on it. Then he told the bear to "wake up!" just like we had been telling him in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, when he had that glassy eyed look on his face (if his eyes were open at all).
He set his teddy bear on his pillow, then climbed into bed next to it.
Later, as I tucked Big Sis into bed and sang "You are my sunshine" as one of her lullabies, she changed the lyrics to "please don't take my brother away." My strong, brave girl did so well through this ordeal, too.
Sara's here with me tonight, I am so glad for the company. Daddy will be home on Friday as planned, since the test results were ok and our little man is already back to his old self.
****
Thank you to everyone who heard the news through the grapevine and prayed for us today. Four feet is a really long fall for a 2 year old, and Someone must have heard and softened his fall.
*****
23.5 hours later
11/3/10
My boy is in my lap again, chattering away, pretending a mini slinky is a camera and saying, "cheese." A few minutes ago, he and H were racing hobby horses around the apartment, and before that he was twirling in circles, throwing himself on the ground laughing and exclaiming, "hurt! mama! hurt" But then repeating the cycle. This is completely normal play for him.
God is so good!
Acting normal Tuesday night
Monday, April 19, 2010
Bear's recap of the day to Daddy:
"We had rockamoley and chips and cheese and Mommy lost her temperature."
Nothin' like a little perspective at days' end. She also went on to tell him that I apologized for losing my "temperature," and as I tucked her in tonight (for the 2nd time), we prayed that she would be more cooperative and Mommy would be more patient. And sealed our agreement with a "deal."
Parenting brings out the best and the worst in me. (I'm sure it does for everyone.) Those who don't know me well might never guess that I have a temper. I am the one with the history of breaking out in tears at work when overstressed, I typically avoid confrontation. With family, well, it's another story. The guard is down, and my dark side shines through. Sometimes glaringly.
While Buddy naps, I've been trying to have Bear do a little school time in her workbooks. Writing letters, coloring, practice with shapes, counting, etc.... She has the attention span of a 4 year old, and well, I am not used to that. Even my former high school students focused, listened, and followed directions better. Sometimes. The thought has crossed my mind that it was easier to teach the 5 and 6 year olds at the tutoring center than it is to teach my own daughter, and I wonder why. But then I remind myself that she is already ahead of where some of them were (matching initial consonant sounds in words), and she still has a year before she goes to Kindergarten. And I'm also more confident in my decision to go ahead and put her in a 3 day a week pre-k program at one of the local churches.
Monday, October 13, 2008
mommy etiquette?
Bear and I went to the playground yesterday. She made a beeline for the toddler swing, barely arriving before a mom and her young toddler who wanted to ride it. The Mom said to go ahead, so I pushed her a few times, then told her that since she is big enough to ride a regular swing, she needed to share and give the little boy a turn. She willingly agreed to get down and chose to head to the twisty slide. When she got to the top, another girl was climbing up the slide. I asked Bear to wait to go down until the other girl finished. The girl stayed put. I told her that other kids wanted to use the slide, too, and she needed to slide down. She climbed up. "Get out of my way!" she said to my daughter. She slid down again, and her friend also tried to cut in front of Bear. Meanwhile, Bear was astonished and frightened, near tears. The other girl was STILL on the slide. "You need to learn to share. Get down and give the other kids a turn." I told her in my "playground monitor" voice. Of course, it was too late for Bear. She had already turned around and ran to the steps. "Mommy, she scared me!" We proceeded to the big kid swings for a few minutes.
Normally, the other parents are around prompting their kids to use good manners. Apparently this 5-ish year old's Mom was too busy socializing to realize her daughter was a bully and slide hog. I half expected her, whoever she was, to come up and address me for scolding her child, but nope, no sign of any intervention of any type.
Later on, Bear decided to try again. The bully's friend was up there around the same time, and let my daughter go first. Bear looked at her as though she expected to be bullied again, but the girl insisted she have a turn. (Apparently her manners returned when the other girl was not around.) She managed to go down the slide successfully.
A few minutes earlier, I had just taught my almost 3 year old daughter to share her beloved swing with a younger child. Then, she waited her turn patiently at the slide, only to be scared by a slightly older kid who apparently didn't listen to the times her parents had tried to teach her playground etiquette.
So, when do you let kids work things out on their own, and when do you step in and "parent" other people's kids?
Bear and I went to the playground yesterday. She made a beeline for the toddler swing, barely arriving before a mom and her young toddler who wanted to ride it. The Mom said to go ahead, so I pushed her a few times, then told her that since she is big enough to ride a regular swing, she needed to share and give the little boy a turn. She willingly agreed to get down and chose to head to the twisty slide. When she got to the top, another girl was climbing up the slide. I asked Bear to wait to go down until the other girl finished. The girl stayed put. I told her that other kids wanted to use the slide, too, and she needed to slide down. She climbed up. "Get out of my way!" she said to my daughter. She slid down again, and her friend also tried to cut in front of Bear. Meanwhile, Bear was astonished and frightened, near tears. The other girl was STILL on the slide. "You need to learn to share. Get down and give the other kids a turn." I told her in my "playground monitor" voice. Of course, it was too late for Bear. She had already turned around and ran to the steps. "Mommy, she scared me!" We proceeded to the big kid swings for a few minutes.
Normally, the other parents are around prompting their kids to use good manners. Apparently this 5-ish year old's Mom was too busy socializing to realize her daughter was a bully and slide hog. I half expected her, whoever she was, to come up and address me for scolding her child, but nope, no sign of any intervention of any type.
Later on, Bear decided to try again. The bully's friend was up there around the same time, and let my daughter go first. Bear looked at her as though she expected to be bullied again, but the girl insisted she have a turn. (Apparently her manners returned when the other girl was not around.) She managed to go down the slide successfully.
A few minutes earlier, I had just taught my almost 3 year old daughter to share her beloved swing with a younger child. Then, she waited her turn patiently at the slide, only to be scared by a slightly older kid who apparently didn't listen to the times her parents had tried to teach her playground etiquette.
So, when do you let kids work things out on their own, and when do you step in and "parent" other people's kids?
Saturday, October 04, 2008
my adventures in babywearing
So far, my babywearing adventures post-delivery have been limited. Tech Mom made me a GORGEOUS ring sling which I posted about earlier, and I had difficulty using it. However, using Steph Precourt's video as a guide, I have been able to make it work for us... tummy to tummy definitely feels more secure. I have also carried "Buddy" cradle hold style as well as tummy to tummy in the Lite on Shoulder Baby holder slings which my dear friends Steph and Anna got me as a shower gift. They are perfect when I want to spend time outside without messing with the stroller/infant carrier. I've even done a little gardening wearing my little guy... cut back dead gladiola leaves. And played frisbee with Bear. It's so nice to be able to hold the baby and spend quality time with his big sister! Oh, and this morning I slipped him into the sling while I ate my toast, because I was not in the mood for a fussy child after a near-perfect night (10:0-4:00 sleeping, feeding, then sleeping until 7 again). I think I'll get the hang of these sling things!
So far, my babywearing adventures post-delivery have been limited. Tech Mom made me a GORGEOUS ring sling which I posted about earlier, and I had difficulty using it. However, using Steph Precourt's video as a guide, I have been able to make it work for us... tummy to tummy definitely feels more secure. I have also carried "Buddy" cradle hold style as well as tummy to tummy in the Lite on Shoulder Baby holder slings which my dear friends Steph and Anna got me as a shower gift. They are perfect when I want to spend time outside without messing with the stroller/infant carrier. I've even done a little gardening wearing my little guy... cut back dead gladiola leaves. And played frisbee with Bear. It's so nice to be able to hold the baby and spend quality time with his big sister! Oh, and this morning I slipped him into the sling while I ate my toast, because I was not in the mood for a fussy child after a near-perfect night (10:0-4:00 sleeping, feeding, then sleeping until 7 again). I think I'll get the hang of these sling things!
Thursday, October 02, 2008
normalcy?
Is it possible? To show you how "out of the norm" I feel, the fact is illustrated by the fact that I almost posted this on the "Whatcha' got cookin'" collaborative blog about... cooking. Thankfully I caught my error before posting.
Anyway, I just read Steph's recent post about feeling like a failure as a Mom of 4, and that sort of put me in my place. And sort of not. I mean, I only have TWO kids. I should be able to juggle, right?
However, the fact of the matter is that between raging new-Mom hormones, having an active toddler and a needy newborn, no matter how many kids you have, motherhood is just hard sometimes. I forgot about that part.
I think I am finally almost over feeling like a failure for quitting nursing... for the 2nd time. Oh, I am still a little sad that it hasn't worked out for us, but baby has to eat, and the 2-hour sessions which seemed to go smoothly, well... 10 minutes after they were over, my heart would sink as he acted soo famished. I was a mere pacifier, apparently. I confess, I was not willing to see a lactation consultant or get help from the LLL. Just didn't have the motivation to try that hard this time around, after the emotional hell I went through 3 years ago. Now that I think my milk is drying up and the pain is decreasing, things are getting a lot easier feeding-wise. I did switch back to Dr. Brown's bottles, using the cheap-o Evenflo seems to result in far more more spit-up. I know this has been a recurring topic on my blog, I sometimes wish I were one that "didn't think about things too much", but when you have an ideal in your mind, you have to decide how much it means to you, and if you choose to let go... work through the process in your own way and own time. God bless the Moms who have the motivation to stick it out, or whose little ones take to it naturally. And God bless the rest of us, too.
Anyway, I am on a search for some sense of normalcy/routine. By that I mean, I would like to find a way to get a shower in the morning instead of after Bear goes to bed (though I might still need that evening shower, too). Hubby steps up and helps with the housework in the evenings, which is a good thing because otherwise it seems like nothing would get done.
I am soo grateful for the friends who have brought meals the past 5 weeks... seriously, I have tears in my eyes because were it not for their generousity, we might have starved. (Ok, maybe not.)
I just wanted to drop in and say hi, give a glimpse at where I am "at", and I hope all is well with my blogging buddies and friends and family who lurk on here. Now I need to make some lunch...
Is it possible? To show you how "out of the norm" I feel, the fact is illustrated by the fact that I almost posted this on the "Whatcha' got cookin'" collaborative blog about... cooking. Thankfully I caught my error before posting.
Anyway, I just read Steph's recent post about feeling like a failure as a Mom of 4, and that sort of put me in my place. And sort of not. I mean, I only have TWO kids. I should be able to juggle, right?
However, the fact of the matter is that between raging new-Mom hormones, having an active toddler and a needy newborn, no matter how many kids you have, motherhood is just hard sometimes. I forgot about that part.
I think I am finally almost over feeling like a failure for quitting nursing... for the 2nd time. Oh, I am still a little sad that it hasn't worked out for us, but baby has to eat, and the 2-hour sessions which seemed to go smoothly, well... 10 minutes after they were over, my heart would sink as he acted soo famished. I was a mere pacifier, apparently. I confess, I was not willing to see a lactation consultant or get help from the LLL. Just didn't have the motivation to try that hard this time around, after the emotional hell I went through 3 years ago. Now that I think my milk is drying up and the pain is decreasing, things are getting a lot easier feeding-wise. I did switch back to Dr. Brown's bottles, using the cheap-o Evenflo seems to result in far more more spit-up. I know this has been a recurring topic on my blog, I sometimes wish I were one that "didn't think about things too much", but when you have an ideal in your mind, you have to decide how much it means to you, and if you choose to let go... work through the process in your own way and own time. God bless the Moms who have the motivation to stick it out, or whose little ones take to it naturally. And God bless the rest of us, too.
Anyway, I am on a search for some sense of normalcy/routine. By that I mean, I would like to find a way to get a shower in the morning instead of after Bear goes to bed (though I might still need that evening shower, too). Hubby steps up and helps with the housework in the evenings, which is a good thing because otherwise it seems like nothing would get done.
I am soo grateful for the friends who have brought meals the past 5 weeks... seriously, I have tears in my eyes because were it not for their generousity, we might have starved. (Ok, maybe not.)
I just wanted to drop in and say hi, give a glimpse at where I am "at", and I hope all is well with my blogging buddies and friends and family who lurk on here. Now I need to make some lunch...
Sunday, September 14, 2008
I never thought I'd say this...
...but breastfeeding is harder than having a baby without the epidural. Maybe not physically, but emotionally it's WAY harder. Because when you think your child has eaten well, and then he or she hasn't, you feel like you have done something wrong, even when there is nothing else you could do.
We've made it almost 3 weeks. Hubby goes back to work tomorrow, which will be the test. My resolve is pretty low at this point. I take that back. My resolve to be a good Mom is stronger than ever. My conviction that breastfeeding is always best, not so much. In the grand scheme of things, the struggles I have dealt with in trying to nurse both of my kids are minor. They pale in comparison to what many of my friends have gone through with preemies and health problems related to pregnancy. I am blessed with a perfectly healthy daughter who thrived on formula after struggling with nursing. Our son is thriving on breastmilk, but I have chosen to pump and bottle feed after way too many extended nursing sessions which ended only to leave him unsatisfied. Maybe he'll grow into it, maybe not... but I was not about to let him start losing weight in the process, and he made it clear he was still hungry.
It's a challenge, because I would prefer to nurse than pump. period. But what's the point if he's hungry 5 minutes later? I know some might not agree with my choice, I also know that God gave each Mother instincts, and there are times that only the Mom can know what is best. Thankfully, this time we have had some sweet nursing sessions, not the latching struggles that I had with my first. However things turn out, I will be at peace with the journey, even though way was hard.
...but breastfeeding is harder than having a baby without the epidural. Maybe not physically, but emotionally it's WAY harder. Because when you think your child has eaten well, and then he or she hasn't, you feel like you have done something wrong, even when there is nothing else you could do.
We've made it almost 3 weeks. Hubby goes back to work tomorrow, which will be the test. My resolve is pretty low at this point. I take that back. My resolve to be a good Mom is stronger than ever. My conviction that breastfeeding is always best, not so much. In the grand scheme of things, the struggles I have dealt with in trying to nurse both of my kids are minor. They pale in comparison to what many of my friends have gone through with preemies and health problems related to pregnancy. I am blessed with a perfectly healthy daughter who thrived on formula after struggling with nursing. Our son is thriving on breastmilk, but I have chosen to pump and bottle feed after way too many extended nursing sessions which ended only to leave him unsatisfied. Maybe he'll grow into it, maybe not... but I was not about to let him start losing weight in the process, and he made it clear he was still hungry.
It's a challenge, because I would prefer to nurse than pump. period. But what's the point if he's hungry 5 minutes later? I know some might not agree with my choice, I also know that God gave each Mother instincts, and there are times that only the Mom can know what is best. Thankfully, this time we have had some sweet nursing sessions, not the latching struggles that I had with my first. However things turn out, I will be at peace with the journey, even though way was hard.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Ahh...
That's a sigh of relief. It's been a full hour since we completed a nursing session, and Little Guy is still asleep. He's got to be going through a growth spurt or something, because the past 2 days he has forced me to spend much more time sitting than doing anything else. I don't mind the cuddling; but when he is hungry 10 or 15 minutes later after nursing for a LONG time, it gets frustrating. Oh, well, we'll get through it one way or another.
Hubby is a great Daddy. He has been so good with Bear, making sure she gets to do some special things like paint pictures with him. (He said his paintings are about the same as they were in 3rd or 4th grade).
One of my biggest concerns as Little Guy's birth approached was that PPD would kick in. Oh, I've had a few hormonal mood swings and frustrations already mentioned, but I am thankful that the Lord has sustained me, and given me true joy through the journey this time. The first few weeks of Bear's life were shrouded in a fog of uncertainty, fear, worry about her lack of weight gain, and loneliness due to my partner being far away. As much as I tried not to let that fog consume me, it did. If it weren't for family and friends whom the Lord sent to walk beside me, I really don't think I would have survived. Oh, the family time we've had together since then made the sacrifice worth it, but that does not change the difficulty of the cumulative factors. And I wish I had recognized how deep my struggles were during that time frame, because I'm sure some medication would have been good for me.
Anyway, the journey into life with two kids is much more joyful so far. I love it. I love my husband and my children even more than I could have ever imagined. The way Bear dotes on her baby brother makes me smile; she is so mothering. (And sometimes smothering, we have to keep an eye on her.)
God has been good. He truly is our Sustainer, Creator and Prince of Peace. And every time Bear sees a cross (and sometimes plus sings), she reminds us, "Jesus died on the cross for our sins!" I can't wait to see her tender heart draw nearer to Him as she grows up.
That's a sigh of relief. It's been a full hour since we completed a nursing session, and Little Guy is still asleep. He's got to be going through a growth spurt or something, because the past 2 days he has forced me to spend much more time sitting than doing anything else. I don't mind the cuddling; but when he is hungry 10 or 15 minutes later after nursing for a LONG time, it gets frustrating. Oh, well, we'll get through it one way or another.
Hubby is a great Daddy. He has been so good with Bear, making sure she gets to do some special things like paint pictures with him. (He said his paintings are about the same as they were in 3rd or 4th grade).
One of my biggest concerns as Little Guy's birth approached was that PPD would kick in. Oh, I've had a few hormonal mood swings and frustrations already mentioned, but I am thankful that the Lord has sustained me, and given me true joy through the journey this time. The first few weeks of Bear's life were shrouded in a fog of uncertainty, fear, worry about her lack of weight gain, and loneliness due to my partner being far away. As much as I tried not to let that fog consume me, it did. If it weren't for family and friends whom the Lord sent to walk beside me, I really don't think I would have survived. Oh, the family time we've had together since then made the sacrifice worth it, but that does not change the difficulty of the cumulative factors. And I wish I had recognized how deep my struggles were during that time frame, because I'm sure some medication would have been good for me.
Anyway, the journey into life with two kids is much more joyful so far. I love it. I love my husband and my children even more than I could have ever imagined. The way Bear dotes on her baby brother makes me smile; she is so mothering. (And sometimes smothering, we have to keep an eye on her.)
God has been good. He truly is our Sustainer, Creator and Prince of Peace. And every time Bear sees a cross (and sometimes plus sings), she reminds us, "Jesus died on the cross for our sins!" I can't wait to see her tender heart draw nearer to Him as she grows up.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Thank you!
Thanks for all your prayers and well-wishes! My Dad brought his laptop to the hospital tonight, so I am able to check comments. I'm sorry I don't have time to respond to everyone individually.
I am very tired, but things are going well overall. Becca summarized things very well. Our little guy is precious. He has been a sleepy-head today, not nursing quite as much, but I'm told that is normal following "boy surgery."
I thought I would share today's quips:
The anesthesiologist came in to check on me. "You're doing well? No back pain from the epidural?" he asked. "I feel great, I didn't actually get the epidural." Apparently I was on his list since I had signed the consent forms just in case. He congratulated me and and moved on to the next patient. I did tell him that by the time I had decided to ask for it I Was already dilated to 8cm and figured it wouldn't kick in in time to help. And I am very glad, still a little shocked, that I was able to make it through. I am normally a wimp with very little tolerance for pain, but with an awesome support team including my beloved. And if you have seen the business of being born, do not let it scare you into thinking all hospitals are unsupportive of goals for natural childbirth. If you make up your mind to try it, your doctors and nurses may just surprise you... especially if you bring a supportive spouse and doula along for the ride.
We let Hannah hold her little brother in the hospital bed, with pillow support, of course. She lifted up her shirt with the hand that was not around her brother, and stated, "I feed Brandon milk from my breasts."
Let the adventures in parenting two begin...
Thanks for all your prayers and well-wishes! My Dad brought his laptop to the hospital tonight, so I am able to check comments. I'm sorry I don't have time to respond to everyone individually.
I am very tired, but things are going well overall. Becca summarized things very well. Our little guy is precious. He has been a sleepy-head today, not nursing quite as much, but I'm told that is normal following "boy surgery."
I thought I would share today's quips:
The anesthesiologist came in to check on me. "You're doing well? No back pain from the epidural?" he asked. "I feel great, I didn't actually get the epidural." Apparently I was on his list since I had signed the consent forms just in case. He congratulated me and and moved on to the next patient. I did tell him that by the time I had decided to ask for it I Was already dilated to 8cm and figured it wouldn't kick in in time to help. And I am very glad, still a little shocked, that I was able to make it through. I am normally a wimp with very little tolerance for pain, but with an awesome support team including my beloved. And if you have seen the business of being born, do not let it scare you into thinking all hospitals are unsupportive of goals for natural childbirth. If you make up your mind to try it, your doctors and nurses may just surprise you... especially if you bring a supportive spouse and doula along for the ride.
We let Hannah hold her little brother in the hospital bed, with pillow support, of course. She lifted up her shirt with the hand that was not around her brother, and stated, "I feed Brandon milk from my breasts."
Let the adventures in parenting two begin...
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Before I go back to bed from my insomniac spell...
... when you wake up to use the bathroom and can't get back to sleep, sometimes you start thinking. At least I do. I've been wondering why I like gardening so much. I mean, it's dirty work. There are worms, slugs and all sorts of creepy crawlies to deal with.
As I felt Little Guy move around, it hit me. There are a couple of reasons. First of all , gardening is like being a parent. (Hence the reason I talk about my flowers more than my kids on this blog.) While I can't see the little one inside me, I CAN feel him move now, and my excitement grows. I can't wait to meet him. Similarly, I can't wait to see the pretty flowers that will bloom if all goes well. In gardening, you can do your best to tend the plants, weed, fertilize, etc..., and leave the rest to the Lord. Same with parenting. Second, both are reflections of our Heavenly Father. Gardening reflects His glory through His creation, and gives us a glimpse of what the garden of Eden must have been like before the fall. (For some of us, we might feel like our gardens' are post-fall specimens, but that's ok, too.) Parenting gives me a small idea of what it must have been like to send your only Son to Earth, and then to do the most difficult thing in the world. To watch Him take on the pain and sins and punishment of the people you created.... my heart aches when my 2 1/2 year old gets a boo-boo or her feelings hurt. I cannot fathom having the mercy and grace to let go of my beloved baby in that kind of sacrifice.
Ok, back to bed now. I have a morning date at Starbucks with my neighbor in just a few short hours.
... when you wake up to use the bathroom and can't get back to sleep, sometimes you start thinking. At least I do. I've been wondering why I like gardening so much. I mean, it's dirty work. There are worms, slugs and all sorts of creepy crawlies to deal with.
As I felt Little Guy move around, it hit me. There are a couple of reasons. First of all , gardening is like being a parent. (Hence the reason I talk about my flowers more than my kids on this blog.) While I can't see the little one inside me, I CAN feel him move now, and my excitement grows. I can't wait to meet him. Similarly, I can't wait to see the pretty flowers that will bloom if all goes well. In gardening, you can do your best to tend the plants, weed, fertilize, etc..., and leave the rest to the Lord. Same with parenting. Second, both are reflections of our Heavenly Father. Gardening reflects His glory through His creation, and gives us a glimpse of what the garden of Eden must have been like before the fall. (For some of us, we might feel like our gardens' are post-fall specimens, but that's ok, too.) Parenting gives me a small idea of what it must have been like to send your only Son to Earth, and then to do the most difficult thing in the world. To watch Him take on the pain and sins and punishment of the people you created.... my heart aches when my 2 1/2 year old gets a boo-boo or her feelings hurt. I cannot fathom having the mercy and grace to let go of my beloved baby in that kind of sacrifice.
Ok, back to bed now. I have a morning date at Starbucks with my neighbor in just a few short hours.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
"Grace" got me thinkin'....
When I first began blogging, I stumbled upon a site about Grace-Based Discipline. I've added it to the "ponderings" section in my sidebar. Not because I agree with every single thing this woman says about everything. But because I do like that she gives practical alternatives for disciplining kids without using corporal punishment. And she seems to have good Biblical basis for many of her ideas.
I've spanked Baby-Bear on occasion, usually when she put herself in some type of physical danger. Ironic, eh? (For example, when she flip-flops on the changing table like a fish out of water while I am trying to get her diaper on. Changing her on the floor really is not much easier... she's quite the squirmer. If Daddy is not around for on of us to pin her shoulders down so she cannot flip while the other takes care of the diaper, I have been known to smack her little bottom after. And it's worked momentarily.) However, it's not something I want to do on a regular basis. I was not spanked a whole lot as a child, or else I've blocked the episodes out of my memory. I do remember having my mouth washed out with soap... Dial. Ugh... Not sure I really want to do that either. Anyway....
I'm searching for any and every recommendation for effective discipline and boundary setting tips for parents. Preferably ones that help us address the "heart" issues. "Parenting is Heart Work" is a good book, but seems geared more toward the 5+ age range.
WHAT WORKS FOR YOU? (Or worked for you when you had little ones.)
When I first began blogging, I stumbled upon a site about Grace-Based Discipline. I've added it to the "ponderings" section in my sidebar. Not because I agree with every single thing this woman says about everything. But because I do like that she gives practical alternatives for disciplining kids without using corporal punishment. And she seems to have good Biblical basis for many of her ideas.
I've spanked Baby-Bear on occasion, usually when she put herself in some type of physical danger. Ironic, eh? (For example, when she flip-flops on the changing table like a fish out of water while I am trying to get her diaper on. Changing her on the floor really is not much easier... she's quite the squirmer. If Daddy is not around for on of us to pin her shoulders down so she cannot flip while the other takes care of the diaper, I have been known to smack her little bottom after. And it's worked momentarily.) However, it's not something I want to do on a regular basis. I was not spanked a whole lot as a child, or else I've blocked the episodes out of my memory. I do remember having my mouth washed out with soap... Dial. Ugh... Not sure I really want to do that either. Anyway....
I'm searching for any and every recommendation for effective discipline and boundary setting tips for parents. Preferably ones that help us address the "heart" issues. "Parenting is Heart Work" is a good book, but seems geared more toward the 5+ age range.
WHAT WORKS FOR YOU? (Or worked for you when you had little ones.)
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
My daughter has turned me into a liar...
she slept with me from 2:30a.m. to 7:30a.m. fairly soundly. She had stirred several times, and did not seem to be falling back asleep very well, so I went to her room and rocked her. This seemed to settle her down, but she did not want to go back into her crib. well, I was sleepy. So I carried her into my room and laid her down on my side of the bed. She snuggled right into place, along with her raccoon, and both of us fell asleep shortly thereafter.
Way back when I was expecting, I read some books that somehow convinced me that I would forever harm my child and spoil her if I didn't start her off with "parent-directed", "start-as-you-mean-to-go-on" approaches. It's interesting that something can sound good and "common-sensical" in print, but then not suit your child's needs or your temperments when it comes down to it. Oh, some things I read were helpful, but honestly some things were just off-base.
Anyway, my daughter learned to fall asleep on her own pretty early on, which has been very nice at times. But as she is still a baby, there are times when it would be nice to be able to cuddle with her. The rocking chair that Tech Mom and Audit Man brought over has helped with that. And those evenings when I find myself being disturbed by a cranky toddler in the middle of the night and wishing hubby were home, well, last night was one of those. (Thankfully they are not that frequent, as hubby's required travel is minimal most of the time, and Bear is generally a good sleeper.) So when she snuggled under the covers and fell asleep on me after an hour of shallow sleep-wake time in her crib early this morning, I was glad to get some rest with her by my side.
Finding the balance of what works for us as far as routines go has been quite the adventure. My uber-flexible routine may seem like chaos to some people. I'm glad I'm learning to relax and adapt to what each day (or night) brings.
she slept with me from 2:30a.m. to 7:30a.m. fairly soundly. She had stirred several times, and did not seem to be falling back asleep very well, so I went to her room and rocked her. This seemed to settle her down, but she did not want to go back into her crib. well, I was sleepy. So I carried her into my room and laid her down on my side of the bed. She snuggled right into place, along with her raccoon, and both of us fell asleep shortly thereafter.
Way back when I was expecting, I read some books that somehow convinced me that I would forever harm my child and spoil her if I didn't start her off with "parent-directed", "start-as-you-mean-to-go-on" approaches. It's interesting that something can sound good and "common-sensical" in print, but then not suit your child's needs or your temperments when it comes down to it. Oh, some things I read were helpful, but honestly some things were just off-base.
Anyway, my daughter learned to fall asleep on her own pretty early on, which has been very nice at times. But as she is still a baby, there are times when it would be nice to be able to cuddle with her. The rocking chair that Tech Mom and Audit Man brought over has helped with that. And those evenings when I find myself being disturbed by a cranky toddler in the middle of the night and wishing hubby were home, well, last night was one of those. (Thankfully they are not that frequent, as hubby's required travel is minimal most of the time, and Bear is generally a good sleeper.) So when she snuggled under the covers and fell asleep on me after an hour of shallow sleep-wake time in her crib early this morning, I was glad to get some rest with her by my side.
Finding the balance of what works for us as far as routines go has been quite the adventure. My uber-flexible routine may seem like chaos to some people. I'm glad I'm learning to relax and adapt to what each day (or night) brings.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Toddler time...
I've been reading some other mom's posts today, and after this post I WILL get offline. Baby-bear naps, and I must say the laptop is like a Siren beckoning to me... I did begin reading through Proverbs a little earlier, and think that is a very good place to get back into the Word.
Anyway, I just wanted to share something I found, and perhaps open up some conversation based on a blog I just read. The author of the blog "So Many Joys" shares some TV-Free Toddler Activities for her Works-for-Me Wednesday entry.
Baby Bear loves following me while I work on laundry, putting pop cans in the fridge, and today she put her new baby wipes into the cabinet of her dresser for storage. She would rather tear blocks down than stack them up, but at least she has fun doing it.
What are some of your favorite TV-Free activities? I've found myself getting into a TV-rut with Baby Bear's new videos (she loves Blue's Room). She is starting to enjoy coloring, but she has yet to learn that she can't color everything she wants. If you don't have toddlers (i.e. they are grown or you aren't "there" yet), what are some things you used to do with your kids or you have seen others do that you plan to implement with your kids?
I've been reading some other mom's posts today, and after this post I WILL get offline. Baby-bear naps, and I must say the laptop is like a Siren beckoning to me... I did begin reading through Proverbs a little earlier, and think that is a very good place to get back into the Word.
Anyway, I just wanted to share something I found, and perhaps open up some conversation based on a blog I just read. The author of the blog "So Many Joys" shares some TV-Free Toddler Activities for her Works-for-Me Wednesday entry.
Baby Bear loves following me while I work on laundry, putting pop cans in the fridge, and today she put her new baby wipes into the cabinet of her dresser for storage. She would rather tear blocks down than stack them up, but at least she has fun doing it.
What are some of your favorite TV-Free activities? I've found myself getting into a TV-rut with Baby Bear's new videos (she loves Blue's Room). She is starting to enjoy coloring, but she has yet to learn that she can't color everything she wants. If you don't have toddlers (i.e. they are grown or you aren't "there" yet), what are some things you used to do with your kids or you have seen others do that you plan to implement with your kids?
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Getting back to normal...
I guess I am thankful that my body is exhibiting signs of returning to normal cycles in just 1 month. The nausea and other symptoms are no fun, but it's nice to not have to wonder. Those symptoms can mean cycle or pregnancy, which drives me crazy when I end up waiting... especially after what happened last month. I really need to read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility... I wonder if the library has it. I am not quite ready to get back on the pill or other chemical bc. But right now the idea of getting pregnant again is a little scary. I have friends who I like to think God has given me partially to show how He provides and blesses with kids when we don't think we can afford them, but I have to admit that our faith is so weak in that area. However, since we do want more children, I would rather leave it up to God and take another pregnancy as a sign that He will take care of us and provide for all our needs. Not to mention the physical side effects. Really, while we may say that we are just being "responsible" by not having more kids if we aren't "prepared", what does it say about our faith in a sovereign God to provide? I'm just thinking in print here. This is something that is a personal decision for every couple, and reasons for or against avoiding pregnancy can be debated. But that's not my intention. I'm just thinking...
I think I'll go shower before baby bear wakes up from her nap. She'll be hungry and angry, as she's been down for quite a while now. 2 hours. Growth spurt or fighting something? Hopeful the growth spurt.
I guess I am thankful that my body is exhibiting signs of returning to normal cycles in just 1 month. The nausea and other symptoms are no fun, but it's nice to not have to wonder. Those symptoms can mean cycle or pregnancy, which drives me crazy when I end up waiting... especially after what happened last month. I really need to read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility... I wonder if the library has it. I am not quite ready to get back on the pill or other chemical bc. But right now the idea of getting pregnant again is a little scary. I have friends who I like to think God has given me partially to show how He provides and blesses with kids when we don't think we can afford them, but I have to admit that our faith is so weak in that area. However, since we do want more children, I would rather leave it up to God and take another pregnancy as a sign that He will take care of us and provide for all our needs. Not to mention the physical side effects. Really, while we may say that we are just being "responsible" by not having more kids if we aren't "prepared", what does it say about our faith in a sovereign God to provide? I'm just thinking in print here. This is something that is a personal decision for every couple, and reasons for or against avoiding pregnancy can be debated. But that's not my intention. I'm just thinking...
I think I'll go shower before baby bear wakes up from her nap. She'll be hungry and angry, as she's been down for quite a while now. 2 hours. Growth spurt or fighting something? Hopeful the growth spurt.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
she's still my baby...
It seems that lately I have been noting how big my little one is growing. She's attempting new words almost daily . (Today's word is "go!") In the past, I've mourned the fact that she typically doesn't fall asleep in my arms. The Mommy in me would love to just hold her indefinitely. While the pragmatist in me is glad she sleeps independently, a little more cuddle time is always welcome.
Our daughter was cranky when we put her down tonight. I guess I would be cranky, too, if I had to sleep in a closet. It's a large walk-in, so don't be alarmed. The pack and play fits in with room to spare, and it has an air vent and a light switch. This is not the cupboard under the stairs. My mothering instincts kicked in, and I decided to go back up stairs and try to settle her down. It was not easy, but eventually she laid down on my torso, her back to my tummy. I could feel her body relax. I had the blinds open, so the glow of the moonlight and neighborhood lights reflecting off the snow below served as a night light. Baby Bear seemed to want to go toward the light coming into the room through the cracks around the doorway, but eventually she settled down. Until Daddy came to check on us. She was glad to go to him for a few minutes though she returned to my arms pretty quickly. Eventually, both of us fell asleep on the bed, and about an hour or so later, I woke up to my little one sleeping and snoring peacefully underneath my arm. I snuck her into the closet and laid her in the pack and play, where she is sleeping soundly.
I can't say that I blame her for not settling down. She's in a small "room" that is relatively unfamiliar to her. She has been playing with her cousins all day, and loves every minute of getting into her cousins' toys, climbing on the little tikes castle, and going down the slide. And don't forget her gleeful response to chasing Jessie, the not-so-little kitty. She loves to give Jessie kisses when she catches her, and Jessie does not hiss at her like Princess or Lucy would.
Bedtimes like tonight remind me that my growing toddler is still a baby. She may be twenty-something pounds of baby, but she is not yet a little girl. The instinct to protect and care for her and to make her comfortable when she can't quite comfort herself, is one of God's greatest gifts to women. In light of recent events, I am even more grateful that she still needs her Mommy. Her Mommy needs her, too.
It seems that lately I have been noting how big my little one is growing. She's attempting new words almost daily . (Today's word is "go!") In the past, I've mourned the fact that she typically doesn't fall asleep in my arms. The Mommy in me would love to just hold her indefinitely. While the pragmatist in me is glad she sleeps independently, a little more cuddle time is always welcome.
Our daughter was cranky when we put her down tonight. I guess I would be cranky, too, if I had to sleep in a closet. It's a large walk-in, so don't be alarmed. The pack and play fits in with room to spare, and it has an air vent and a light switch. This is not the cupboard under the stairs. My mothering instincts kicked in, and I decided to go back up stairs and try to settle her down. It was not easy, but eventually she laid down on my torso, her back to my tummy. I could feel her body relax. I had the blinds open, so the glow of the moonlight and neighborhood lights reflecting off the snow below served as a night light. Baby Bear seemed to want to go toward the light coming into the room through the cracks around the doorway, but eventually she settled down. Until Daddy came to check on us. She was glad to go to him for a few minutes though she returned to my arms pretty quickly. Eventually, both of us fell asleep on the bed, and about an hour or so later, I woke up to my little one sleeping and snoring peacefully underneath my arm. I snuck her into the closet and laid her in the pack and play, where she is sleeping soundly.
I can't say that I blame her for not settling down. She's in a small "room" that is relatively unfamiliar to her. She has been playing with her cousins all day, and loves every minute of getting into her cousins' toys, climbing on the little tikes castle, and going down the slide. And don't forget her gleeful response to chasing Jessie, the not-so-little kitty. She loves to give Jessie kisses when she catches her, and Jessie does not hiss at her like Princess or Lucy would.
Bedtimes like tonight remind me that my growing toddler is still a baby. She may be twenty-something pounds of baby, but she is not yet a little girl. The instinct to protect and care for her and to make her comfortable when she can't quite comfort herself, is one of God's greatest gifts to women. In light of recent events, I am even more grateful that she still needs her Mommy. Her Mommy needs her, too.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
another addition...
hubby's coworker's wife gave birth to a beautiful 7 lb 10 oz baby girl yesterday. we spent some time chatting at the office luncheon before Christmas, and she mentioned that a lot of her friends swore by a certain parenting book that i had previously read and now rank below The Fountainhead. (not a parenting book, but i was going to write an essay on it for a scholarship, and would have burned it if it were mine and not the library's. i hated it.) she has a degree in child development, and said that as she read it the red flags went up because so much was contrary to what she learned in her classes and experience as a nanny and preschool teacher. they're going to do just fine.
lilly has two parents who love her, and i'm sure baby bear will be glad to teach her all her tricks as she grows up.
hubby's coworker's wife gave birth to a beautiful 7 lb 10 oz baby girl yesterday. we spent some time chatting at the office luncheon before Christmas, and she mentioned that a lot of her friends swore by a certain parenting book that i had previously read and now rank below The Fountainhead. (not a parenting book, but i was going to write an essay on it for a scholarship, and would have burned it if it were mine and not the library's. i hated it.) she has a degree in child development, and said that as she read it the red flags went up because so much was contrary to what she learned in her classes and experience as a nanny and preschool teacher. they're going to do just fine.
lilly has two parents who love her, and i'm sure baby bear will be glad to teach her all her tricks as she grows up.
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