cultural norms
While most Americans will at least give lip-service to the idea that breastmilk is best for our newborns/infants, if nursing doesn't work out, for whatever reason, formula takes over. That's our norm.
Bear and I were outside playing one evening last week, and one of the girls in the neighborhood talked about how excited she was to see her other brother. She picked up on my confused expression, and explained that her aunt had difficulty nursing her cousin, who was around the same age as her younger brother. So her Mom nursed him for her. The baby was born in the US, he could have had free formula from WIC. But in their culture the question is apparently, "Why wouldn't you give a newborn breastmilk?"
Now, I love my niece, but I don't think I would have nursed her. (Ignore the fact that I only nursed Bear for about 3 months.) For one, she lives an hour and a half away. Feeding an infant is a round the-clock-adventure. The reason the girl calls her cousin her brother is because while her mother fed him, he lived with their family. (I don't know if his Mom moved in, too, or what...) And quite frankly, even if it were something I was up to doing, I don't picture my sister as being one to go for it. It's just not normal here. Change a baby's diaper? Check. Burp someone else's baby? Check. Give a bottle to another Mom's baby? Check. Breastfeed someone else's baby? Ummm... second thoughts there.
I find the fact that this 9 year old girl talked about her "other brother" with no inhibitions fascinating. In her family's culture, what happened is normal. And though I am 99.999% sure I would not make the choice to let someone else breastfeed my child (unless they were severely allergic to formula, and then I would prefer the breastmilk to be given in a bottle so I could feed my baby), instead of thinking "ew, gross..." I find myself fascinated by the cultural differences.... and how even though they live in the USA now, some aspects of their culture are being preserved.
8 comments:
Some friends of my mom's and later coworkers of mine (Both RNs and One a Lactation consultant) would feed each other's kids when the other one had to work. Their kids were 3m apart.
But you are right it is Breast feeding is not looked at the same way here.
Wet nurses have gone by the wayside in the American culture as well.
Especially when you see how she tears up her sippy cup lids, you DEFINITELY wouldn't nurse youre neice ;)
That's what she did to me with her gums.
When my brother was a baby (he just turned 27) we went to visit a church in the South, as in south of Tennessee. My mom put him in the nursery, and later found out one of the women volunteer workers had nursed him when he got fussy. That was the usual way of doing things in that area back then. It was sure weird for us though. You definitely wouldn't hear about that going on in churches in this day and age of diseases and lawsuits!
Did you read about the Chinese police woman who breastfed something like nine babies or some major amount as her part to help with the earthquake victims? She had a young baby, left that baby with her parents, and had to go do her job with the recovery efforts. When she came across these hungry babies with mothers who were either dead/missing or had their milk dry up from shock, she decided to do the practical thing and nurse. I thought that was pretty sacrificial and amazing.
Wow! I think I did hear something about that, but not the details. At least she didn't have to pump to keep up her supply for her little one... and of course she probably saved those babies' lives.
I agree. I don't want to do it, but I love the culture. It is beautiful.
Amazing stories. God sure knows what he is doing. There are some interesting articles on how the formula companies got their start. What the Nestle company did was horrible and proved deadly to many children.
If we adopt in the future, I plan to breastfed or at least pump. Nursing Lilly has been one of the most remarkable and special parts of being a mom.
My hubby's family has what I consider a cool story.... My father-in-law is one of 10 kids, so by the time the youngest one was born, the oldest daughter had just given birth to her first child and was nursing him. Their mom was very ill after giving birth, so the oldest sister took her baby brother and nursed him along with her own baby until her mom was well enough to take over. Of course that was almost 60 years ago and would probably never happen today.
My mom emailed the story about the police officer right after it happened. I thought it was so incredibly amazing it gave me goosebumps.
I love this story, and that about the Chinese PO is great. A good friend and her 2 sisters were all nursing babies at the same time (like time period not time of day). My friend got really sick with a stomach bug and couldn't nurse her son so her sister did.
I think it's interesting how it seems weird to us but to so many others it's completely normal - ah culture.
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