Update on World's Best Teacher's Dad, who has cancer

Dear friends,
I'm posting the text of a couple of e-mails that I just received from my good friend and former college roommate, World's Best Teacher. Thanks so much for your continued prayers. I'm grateful for the strength the Lord is giving my friend. I spoke with her this afternoon, before I even read the e-mails, and she said her Dad's breaths are growing shorter and shallower, and the pauses between them grow longer as the day progresses. They are fully expecting the Lord to heal him by taking him home soon. Her brother is en route from halfway across the country. I called her this afternoon on my way home from working out at the gym for the first time in a couple of months. (gotta use the membership before it runs out and we don't renew). It must have been God prompting me to call her specifically, although I often use the short drive to touch base with friends or family. Thank you for keeping my dear friend in your prayers! She is 30 years old, like me, and in our minds, too young to be saying goodbye to a parent. But our timing is not God's.

Lauren

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Sent: Friday, January 5, 2007 6:05:43 AM
Subject: Dad

Dad had a stroke last night (about 1:00). He's much worse, he's stable and
"not in distress; he's at home. I have to work hard today if I want to take off time next week. Pray I get everything done. Mom is calm but is very tired and had a hard night. Hospice helped her and everything is medically taken care of right now.

Funny - I woke up at 1:00 and couldn't get back to sleep. Mom thought she was letting me sleep and didn't call me until after 5:00. I never believed those stories, but they're true. You do wake up from sleep when loved ones are in distress. Must be God.

Last thing dad said to me last night was "I love you". He fell asleep within about 10 minutes of my getting to the house after work last night.

Two of mom's sisters are arriving Saturday. They planned it yesterday before the stroke. God is still taking care of us.


Sent: Friday, January 5, 2007 2:49:07 AM
Subject: Dad update


I hope you don't mind if I send you a mass email to answer the question "how is he?". Many of you have asked, and I know you care. It's easier to just share all at once than keep retelling, and I thought this might be a good way to do that.
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We had a good Christmas. My brother and his family came into town for several days. We had Christmas in dad's room.

Dad has cancer in his lungs, his back, and a large tumor on his adrenal gland (on top of his kidney). The cancer in his back has made it very difficult for him to feel and use his legs. The term for the care dad is getting is "paleative" (not sure how to spell) - which is a fancy word that means "keep him as comfortable as possible". The goal is not recovery (although we don't deny that God has the power to make this happen) - the goal is make this time as easy for him as possible. He has been getting radiation on his back to help with numbness and pain in his legs. He stays in bed right now all the time other than hygiene needs. He has lost a lot of weight. He is at about 190 right now. He is a 6'6 man. It¹s hard for him to eat - it takes a lot of energy (which he doesn't have) and he has no appetite. Wednesday he couldn¹t make it to radiation. Mom told me his legs were completely numb. He didn¹t have the strength to get out of bed ­ first time that¹s happened.

Mom called to arrange hospice and they came yesterday to evaluate and begin services. He will be able to stay home unless things get really complicated. Things aren¹t good for dad right now. As mom says, "Our peace comes from God even if our hearts are breaking."

Mom and I are awed and feel privileged to see some of the "tapestry" of God through all of this. Mom, dad, and I are continually finding comfort and peace.

Examples: I told dad yesterday that if God wants us to go this road, he has lined it with friends to go with us. Mom is very "Dutch". Dad's Doctor's name is Dr. "Holland". We chuckled at this "SIGN" that he was the doctor for us. Dad's hospice nurse is the wife of a teacher my brother and I both remember fondly as having had in high school and the mother of a high school friend of mine - so she already seems like a friend.

Labor Day weekend, we were able to go to Michigan to visit family - before all of this started - so many family members who can't come have had an opportunity to visit with dad recently!

Dad's bills are not a worry - Veterans's Affairs has declared him 100% disabled due to "agent orange" exposure in Vietnam (strange to call that a blessing) and so is paying for everything.

Mom is getting help from hospice, and praise the Lord, we both have lots of sick days that are available to use. Mom has decided to stop working completely and is able to do it indefinitely using her sick leave!
Richard (pastor) reminded me recently of something I knew, but is taking great meaning lately - and that continues to bring peace - the ultimate peace we can have is not physical healing, but spiritual restoration. Dad's physical distress is difficult to watch, and very difficult for him to experience, but peace comes for him and us from knowing he will not only
have physical healing if he leaves us, but the best healing of all - because of Christ he will be with our heavenly father, restored to the beautiful creation God intended him to be. Praise God. Dad is ready - either way - to stay and be healed or go and be healed. Either way is an awesome option. Win- Win!

Family have been visiting frequently. They are traveling all the way from Michigan! They are such a blessing - even from a distance when they can't come.

God is good! He is the good shepherd.

People have often asked if there is anything they can do to help. The
answer mom and I keep giving is - nothing tangible right now.

Money is not a problem (thanks to VA).

Food is not a need really - dad isn't eating much and we feed him whatever
he will eat (which changes based on his appetite). Mom doesn't eat that
much, and so what's been happening is his dogs are getting fat on the food
we/she can't eat! :0) The only "maybe" that might be nice is something
that freezes that we can pop into the microwave or oven really fast when
family or visitors do come to visit. We have some family here now, more
coming this weekend, and many (8+) coming at the end of the month that we
know of. Mom likes most foods. Again - dad varies.

Mom is a wonderful, but private person, so talking about the situation with
people outside of close family and friends can sometimes be difficult for
her, so this may not be the best way to help. It's also difficult to find
good times to visit with dad, since his needs change and he sleeps so much.

We have support from friends who have offered hospitality for visiting
family - and have taken advantage of that.

So really - prayers are the best way to help, both because the Heavenly
Father says so and because our other needs are taken care of right now.
Prayers for peace and comfort and healing and wisdom to know how to handle
what comes would be wonderful. Prayers for journey mercies for family and
strength for Mom and Dad would be great. Thanksgiving for God's blessings
would be wonderful.

Thanks again all for your love and support. You've all been so wonderful. I
will try to keep you all posted for better or ..better.

Exercising Faith - and getting a real workout!!!,
World's Best Teacher (she signed her real name,i'm keeping that private on the blog)
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