Finding Focus... still

As you have most likely figured out, I keep reverting to my procrastinatory ways. Well, tonight I spent 2 hours, yes you read that correctly, working on my life management "Finding Focus Project" spreadsheet. There's a verse that says: "Where there is no vision, the people perish." In my life, that translates to: "where there is no plan, little gets done." I'm becoming increasingly aware of the fact that I need to be intentional in how I live my life. Not just to do chores, because while they are important, I am blessed with two far more important things: my hubby and my daughter. I've focused on my weaknesses and struggles for far too long, and made excuses for them. I always struggled with unit plans as a teacher... to be honest, I usually made them up after the fact, to look good for my evaluations. I realized they could be very helpful, but I was overwhelmed with the day to day struggles and just didn't quite get "there". My kids managed to learn, but oh, how much more all of us could have learned had I been a little more efficient in my planning. Anyway, bygones are bygones, and I'm starting fresh...

So far, my spreadsheet for my personal FFP has 3 worksheets.
1)Brainstorming/Master List-
Divided into 5 categories: Personal, Spiritual, family, household, hobbies
2)Chore Chart-
Divided into room/area and frequency (daily, weekly, monthly, occasionally, projects)
3) Weekly Plan Template- days of the week across top, 5 categories along the side

largefamilylogistics suggests assigning a specific room or area to each day. That may be common sense to some of you, but this organizationally challenged lass trembled at the thought of that type of commitment. (It really is amazing I ever got married. At least I don't have a fear of committing to my hubby!!!)

These are the daily "focus areas" I have come up with so far:
Monday- Kitchen/Meal Planning Day
Tuesday-Laundry Day (That's what I've been working on today, though it's not going to be limited to Tuesday)
Wednesday- Bathroom Day
Thursday- Cleaning Day
Friday- Shopping Day
Saturday- Miscellany Day
Sunday- Church/Family Day


So there you have it... I am developing a "Unit Plan" for my day-to-day life. I suppose it's not really anyone else's business, and I risk showing those of you who don't really know me just how undisciplined I am, but so be it. Perhaps someone who reads this will be encouraged by something in this post. Maybe someone will jump on board and refocus alongside me. Or maybe you'll just pray for me, that the step that just took me 2 1/4 hours to take will lead to action. If I post less frequently, hopefully it means I am accomplishing something apart from the blogosphere.

Good night, friends. Hope all is well in your page of the blogosphere!

Praying about a part-time, flexible job opportunity. Out of my comfort zone, but every little bit could help right now. And one in particular could also help the business owners... they would not have to feel pressure to give me work, but I would be available to fill in.

(This is the decision I forgot to post about on Sunday, if anyone paid attention to the label.)

worthwhile causes...

FREE BOOKS FOR KIDS!
I think I mentioned that I had enrolled Baby-bear in the "Books from Birth" program a while back. Well, every month since then, she has received a FREE book in the mail. These books are hardcover, some are board books, all of them have been high-quality and age-appropriate. My neighbor Gina has 2 girls enrolled in the program, and says they don't duplicate titles, except for the "kick-off" story. Dolly Parton founded her Imagination Library in rural East Tennessee, and since then the program has spread. "Books from Birth" is the name it goes by in Tennessee, and thanks to this program, my daughter will have a pretty full library by the time she is 5 years old (unless we move somewhere where this isn't available).

If your children (under age 5) are not enrolled, visit the Imagination Library website to see if it's available in your area.


"Tampontification"
FREE TAMPONS FOR WOMEN IN NEED
Ok, tampons are not really a popular topic. But Caslon's best friend in WI sent me an e-mail to this link, and I thought I would share. The whole website is quite interesting... some may find it a little "crunchy", but it's worth perusing. And with the click of a button, you can show your support for having feminine hygiene products donated to women's shelters.

is the weekend already over?

Friday morning, Baby Bear and I met some friends at the zoo. I'll be posting pictures on her blog soon. My parents babysat her while I went to an appointment in peace. The doctor laughed when she came in and I was laying back on the exam table already. She has a 3-year old, and understands the lack of opportunities Moms of toddlers have to rest. Anyway, so nobody makes any assumptions, no I am not pregnant again. I just had a check-up that had to be rescheduled for my annual exam after the whole situation a 6 weeks ago. When I arrived home, Baby Bear was still content with GranWendy and GranDaddy, and the neighbor girls had arrived home from school and begged to see their little doll. I'll definitely have to take advantage of my parents' proximity to us more often. It was nice to go out by myself for a change. And of course, they love spending time with Baby Bear. I felt kind of bad because the house was a WRECK when they arrived, as I had opted to play outdoors and go to the zoo instead of do housework

TechMom and Dad arrived Friday evening, after taking a detour off the interstate when they saw all the semi's exiting. They made a wise choice, as there had been a big wreck involving 6 semi's... one of the drivers was killed, diesel fuel was all over the road. Anyway, Baby Bear woke up just after they went to bed, so we snuck her in to see her other grandparents. She was in grandparent heaven, seeing all 4 of them in one day!

Saturday brought a trip to Costco for us girls, Baby Bear's first experience playing in the rain, and the boys' completion of taxes. Woo hoo! Tech M&D treated us to dinner at Chili's, where we shared an awesome blossom appetizer.. I hadn't had one of them in a long time. It was almost too much for 4 1/2 people. (Unfortunately I learned that Baby Bear's tummy can't quite handle that yet... sigh...)

This morning... Sunday School with our new teacher, and miraculously we had a good group in spite of the time change. That's pretty impressive for parents of small kids who don't always adapt well to changes is routine! Hubby and his parents went to the worship service, while I arrived at Baby bear's class to find that the 13-year old son of my co-volunteer had joined us today! He proved to be a huge help, as he had the energy that I lacked and then some. The 7 kids LOVED him. Oh, and I found out from my co-volunteer that I CD I will most likely want should be released on my birthday!! Woo hoo! He works in retail marketing for a record label, and the son of a musician is in Baby Bear's class.

It was a good weekend. I learned that I can't do everything I want to... I missed a friend's birthday party this afternoon, but it was worth it to be able to relax more with Tech M&D after church. Otherwise, we would have had to really rush. Plus, BAby Bear was tired and not very cooperative, so it was good that we went home for dinner. After dinner and the boys' naps, we walked a mile and found unlocked doors in nearby Centex homes that have not been sold yet. Looking at floor plans has always been fun, and cheap, entertainment for us. (The front doors were locked, but 2 of the back doors were unlocked. It's not breaking and entering if the sign out front says "available" and the doors are left unlocked.)

No deep thoughts right now, that's the summary of what we've been up to. Baby Bear thinks Grandpa's snore is funny. Oh, and we have Caslon's old microwave to buy us some time on getting a new one. Our old microwave is being used by my brother and his wife in L-ville, and our current microwave no longer cooks, though the clock and timer work just fine.

Hope everyone had a great weekend! I hope to post some pics from this weekend on Baby Bear's blog in the near future.

It's not over yet! Over 900 people have signed the list, and I'm sure there are lurkers out there who prefer to keep their anonymity!

I've just made a fresh batch of fruit tea, in honor of the warm weather that has come our way here in Tennessee. For those of you who are still stuck in winter-land, there's some hot chocolate with marshmallows... the microwave's broken, though, so let me know if I need to heat up some more water the old-fashioned way. Or hot tea. If you want coffee, Tech Mom will be here tomorrow night, and she'll be glad to grind and brew enough for all of us. Or, if you like, you can go crash her blog. She hasn't officially joined THE party yet, so we could just skip over there for a quick blog-crashing event.

I attempted to make cookies for the occasion, but said microwave being broken made it hard to soften the butter, so the dough is actually in the fridge. I'm doing a little experiment to see if it can still be salvaged. Things like this tend to happen when I attempt to make anything from scratch. It's the thought that counts, right? I have not wasted the white or milk chocolate chips yet, so if the dough looks/tastes unsalvageable, the most important part can still be used another time. I had to take a break from solving that mystery to vacuum the fruity cheerios that baby bear had pulled out of the cabinet and emptied onto the carpet.

Oh, please pardon the blocks, stuffed animals, and board books all over the living room.Would you believe I vacuumed the whole downstairs yesterday? Baby bear (my 16 month old daughter) and I have been playing outside. She discovered mud today, when I added some soil and water to the aloe plant that I have managed not to kill yet. (I think I've had it for at least a year. My Mom is always giving me indoor plants to ruin with my brown thumb.) The roots were almost exposed. I guess that happens when dirt settles. She also discovered rocks are fun to play with, as is the dirt on the curb. She also helped me put the holly-bush clippings that hubby had left scattered about into a trash bag. Who needs fancy toys when dirt, rocks and shrub clippings are abundant? I have managed to keep the laundry going... there's a mountain of it on the guest bed. I suppose I need to fold that tonight, because tomorrow promises to be a busy day, and the in-laws are driving over to visit their youngest grandbaby.

Sweet dreams, friends. Hubby made it home safely, so we should rest well tonight.

my chocolate and caramel sundae in which i decided to indulge myself melted into a cold, thick soup while hubby and i talked. it's still yummy.

travel update

the happy mcfamily has arrived in michigan safely. please continue to pray for the family as they mourn the death of their loved one (comic guy's great-grandma, who was 101.) juliana handled the long ride very well.

wow...

the fact that it's been over a year and a half since that 1st belly shot in the previous post was taken. just a little over two years ago, i swore my dentist to secrecy that i could not have x-rays taken because i pregnant, based on the home tests. (my parents go to that dentist, too.) after 6 years of marriage, we were finally going to be parents.

fast forward 2 years... my baby isn't so little anymore. she kisses the pictures of herself on the 3 finished scrapbook pages, and doesn't seem to have a clue that she is actually giving herself kisses.

in 2 more years, i will look back at pictures of baby bear that i took today, and remember that she used to be so small? she seems huge to me now, but i am very well aware that my baby has a long way to grow.... i wonder if she'll have a sibling to play with by then, or perhaps even more cousins?

i hope all of you are having a terrific week so far. hubby is away for work, so it's just me and the little one tonight (she's napping at the moment).

breezes and bellies...

(not at the same time)

ok, okay... here you go! i finally got up the nerve to start up the old laptop... the one with the fractured screen that is connected to an old monitor that tech mom gave me... and the monitor is at least 2 feet above the keyboard. so now the laptop is a desktop. however, i didn't like linking to baby bear's blog via the word belly in the last belly-tag post, and i'm sure most of you didn't either... so i decided to suck it up and use the less convenient of the computers. (i know, i should just be grateful to have one, never mind two working computers! and i am!)

anyway, baby bear and i went out to the park today. days like today make me glad to be living in the south. while my sister and her family are driving north to where it's still winter, it was windy and warm here. no jackets necessary! the daffodils are in bloom (mine should begin opening tomorrow... if a pesky rodent hadn't eaten most of the bulbs, i would have a lot more in our flower bed). anyway, days like today also remind me of why we have chosen to stretch ourselves financially so i can stay home with our daughter. i would not want to be in my old indow-less classroom next to the ISS room, dilbertish office cubes or even the welcoming learning center with the foosball table for "success time" tutoring others' kids while my daughter was playing outside with someone else.

As promised, here are those belly shots....

"hiking" in the smokies at 26 weeks...

not sure when we took this, but I had to be farther along...

bec and me at her shower on 10/15/05- 10 days before babybear's birth

p.s. thanks for the blouses, crt!

I went ahead and included the states I've simply passed through... because I can honestly say I've been there. (Places I've been are in RED.)


(Right click on picture to see whole map)

create your own visited states map


Just when I think I'm well travelled,
I get a reality check...


create your own visited countries map

tag...

adventures in baby wearing is sponsoring a belly-shot tag... i'm cheating and linking to a post of my belly on baby-bear's blog. because i'm lazy....

farm wife and steph, isn't it about time for your belly updates? zann, based on your dream, you might be playing tag with us soon! ;-> crt... i don't think i've ever seen any of your belly shot photos. ang, grace, bec, tech mom...? i know you girls can join the fun. well, some of you might have to scan in old pics.

i was going to post a pic of me and bec at her baby shower, just 10 days before i had Hannah... i still might, but i don't feel like getting on the other computer right now, and that's where the pics are.

sesame street

Baby Bear and I are upstairs in front of the TV. She is actually about to take all the DVD's off the shelf, so she is obviously not all that caught up in the show this morning. She just kissed the cover of "Kate & Leopold". She has also been walking around with her older cousins' first Christmas picture and kissing it for the last couple of days.

Anyway, I like Sesame Street because it's a neighborhood. Though fictional, it's a community where people get to know eachother. Yes, I like the ABC's, 123's, etc. for Baby Bear. Yes, I find some of the characters' voices annoying. And today, the "plot" is about adoption. As hubby and I discussed last night, the pictures painted of adoption in mainstream TV often portray it as the worst option for the kids, not so subtly implying that the mothers are foolish for choosing life. It's refreshing to see adoption persented the way it should be, even if it is simplified for the sake of young ones.

In these days of urban sprawl, I feel blessed that as the weather grows warmer, our neighborhood will feel a little more like Sesame Street. (Why is it that there are no CARS zooming passed the kids in the street, though? I haven't seen a pedestrian only sign.) Neighbors will be out for walks with their kids, washing cars, pretending to garden, etc. When we lived in another city, we knew very few of our neighbors by name, never mind knowing them well enough to go out to eat or grill out together. (Which reminds me we need to refill the tank for the grill). Oh, our neighborhood is far from Sesame Street in many ways, but it's also better. It's our home.

As of this morning, over 660 people have joined the Ultimate Blog Party, sponsored by 5 minutes for Mom. I've enjoyed browsing some new cyber-hoods, and have also enjoyed having visitors around here.

The Cure for Anxiety...

That's the subtitle in my Bible, just above Matthew 6:25...

Hubby and I attend a fairly large church. I wouldn't call it a mega-church, it certainly isn't anywhere near as big as the one with the outrageously huge crosses that you pass on I-40 as you head into Memphis. But it's big enough that a lot of people get lost in the shuffle, don't get plugged into the community, and move on to find fellowship elsewhere. I have a feeling that's fairly common in large churches. Anyway, our class is trying to be intentional about building relationships, and today was one of those days where it showed. It truly was a God thing. In addition to our scripture study, several of us shared how the Lord is teaching us to trust Him in our daily lives. We were able to share because instead of being in just another Sunday School class in the buckle of the Bible Belt, over time we have begun to build friendships and trust.

As we shared, a memory from my childhood came back to me. My parents had invited a family over for dinner. The wife was blind, and I remember being a little frightened by her eyes. She seemed nice, but I think the part where she actually was able to pop her glass eye out to show us really made me cringe. When she sat down at the piano to sing a song called "Consider the Lilies", any fear I had of her vanished. I was probably a pre-teen, I don't really remember. But I do remember thinking that if that woman could sing such a pure-hearted song with all she had been through, I had no reason not to have confidence in God's love.

It's getting late, hubby is going to bed, and I would like to snuggle with him, but if you find yourself struggling with anxiety, fear, or discontentment, I want to encourage you to read and ponder Matthew 6:25-34.

icebreaker

This is for all of us... since there are a few new faces around here, I thought I would try to come up with a little get-to-know you survey. I could go to blogthings and find something, but let's just see what crosses my wandering mind today...

1) Is your blog identity a pseudonym or part of your real name?
My name. at first i went by a wandering heart, that was too long. ren reminds me too much of ren and stimpy, which i never really got into. I couldn't come up with anything more creative, so I decided to just use my real name.
2) How many states have you lived in? 3 Countries? 1, but I spent a summer in Mexico as a summer missionary.
3) How long have you been blogging?
If old-fashioned bulletin board systems counted, I suppose I could say I did it in high school. But since BBS's were before the internet, I would have to say my sister in law introduced me to her blog last summer. An old friend from high school then told me about her blog, and I have met most of my "blogily" (blog family) through her. I initially started Baby Bear's blog, and then decided to make a personal one for myself, too.
4) If the internet completely disappeared, would you have to go through a blogger recovery program such as blogoholics anonymous (BA)?
I already founded a chapter a couple of months ago. Care to join me? Actually, I think I need to call it procrastiblogoholics anonymous.
5) When you aren't blogging, what are some of your hobbies?
Playing with my daughter, learning new signs to teach her, napping, reading (currently reading The Mommy Manual by Barbara Curtis- still), listening to music, spending time with hubby, talking to friends on the phone or online. I'd like to say scrapbooking, but I only have 3 pages done... and I've been working on the book for at least 3 months.
6) How many languages do you speak? 1 1/2: English & some Spanish. I don't speak toddler, but I am currently enrolled in a course called "Interpretation of Toddler Sounds".
7) Favorite vacation spot? hmmm. anywhere relaxing, preferrably with either a beach and.or mountains nearby. I am really looking forward to Gulf Shores this summer!
8) What is your life verse, quote, or theme?
Ideally: Phil 4:13- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Honestly: It can be done, it should be done, it shall be done... tomorrow.
9) What is the hardest job you have ever had? Teaching high school Spanish, I'm sure parenting will take over that title in a few years.
10) What is the most rewarding role you have had in life? Being married to hubby, being a stay at home mommy.

Feel free to pick and choose... answer just 1 or all, whatever suits you.
I look forward to getting to know all of you better!!!

good news about ice cream!!!

well, depending how you take it, i guess!

this is for inkling

I wasn't going to post again tonight. Really. Then I just could not deny the request of my friend who reminds me so much of a childhood heroine (Anne Shirley).

Oh, shoot, I just realized I was going to post about family, and that has the potential of making my red-headed friend miss hers even more. That certainly is not my intention. I just thought I would post about my day.

Actually, my blissful Friday started last night. Thursday nights are often our Friday nights, at least twice a month when hubby is off work. We went out for fajitas, where baby bear charmed our waitresses. We went to the restaurant where a "stranger" (i.e. non-family member or close friend) had first recognized my pregnancy without me saying something to clue them in when I was expecting Baby Bear. (Morning sickness made me lose weight before I started gaining.) Then we went to pick up some groceries for the weekend, specifically chicken for tonight's dinner.

My Mom and Brother-in-law have birthdays in January, and it's often difficult for us to get everyone together. It turned out that older brother and his wife didn't make it. Well, we had postponed their joint family birthday dinner once, and we figured if we didn't have it 2 months after the fact, it was not going to happen. My Mom is a wonderful hostess. She goes above and beyond, cooks too much food, and stuffs us silly when we meet at her house. She makes the best oven-roast beef and mashed potatoes, the best stuffing (as opposed to cornbread dressing that never soaks up the juices of the turkey), and does it with all her heart and strength. Unfortunately, this also means that she works too hard and doesn't relax enough when she has us over. So the birthday meal was at my house. I suppose one of these times we could go out for dinner together as a family. But with 2 toddlers between my sis and me, that could be challenging. You never know what mood evening will bring to toddlers. Instead of stressing one person (me) out over food, I chose to delegate. (And they volunteered to help.)
We had a birthday potluck, of sorts. My Dad made one of his salads. His salads are not your boring mixtures of iceberg, pre-shredded carrot, tomatoes, and maybe cheese on top. No, his dad was Italian, and their side of the family has a "family" salad. (Though I must mention that all of the siblings who make it, do it differently. Go figure.) Anyway, the salad my Dad brought tonight was complete with real lettuce and spinach, tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, lemon juice, oil, seasonings, and probably feta cheese, though for some reason I can't remember if that was in it this time. It's very soggy, but very good... No additional dressing needed. Sis brought green bean casserole and the cake she baked, I supplied italian crock-pot chicken, rice, Breyer's French vanilla ice cream and drinks.

The toddlers played near eachother, and try as we might, teaching them to share is like teaching a true southerner to pronounce "pen" correctly. (hint: the short "e" sound is not the same is the short "i" sound). They really did pretty well, and no major fights broke out over any particular toy or sippy cup. Baby Bear kept trying to kiss her cousin, which resulted in her kissing her cousin's rear a couple of times. Oh, well.

Every time we have company, whether it be family or friends, I realize something about myself. I am a lot like my Mom. If left unchecked, I might have the urge to "get things done" and not sit down with company until the table is cleared. (She is getting better at this, and we do try to help out when we're at her house.) Tonight, I rinsed off the plates because I didn't want the food to eat away at the platinum trim on my china. (I think this is about the 7th time I've actually used any of my china since our wedding. Maybe. I don't have a china cabinet, so it's a small ordeal to take out of storage.) My family helped clear the table, too, and we sat and watched the girls play and chatted for a few minutes. Anyway, whenever I have company, I have to make myself relax, and I have no idea why. I mean, my family has known me... my whole life. (Well, my side.) They know my weaknesses, my strengths, my oddities (like the fact that all my white socks seem to be worn through and we have not replaced the not-darned things yet). Hubby helped me get the house ready enough, Baby Bear was glad to try to help him "bah-oom" the carpet, and we even got a 3 hour nap in. There was no reason for me to not relax... oh, well. Tonight I found myself with not a whole lot to say, just glad to have them there, to have my daughter and her younger cousin be able to spend time with one another (and the rest of us). I wonder when they will start truly remembering family gatherings.

I'll let my sister share the cake story on her blog, if she feels so led. It was yummy, that's what counts. Dad showed us some of the notecards he's made with prints of his paintings and photos, and now I'm pondering how to help him market his "little" retirement hobby.

Anyway, as I've said before... I feel blessed to have my family. Both sides. There may be a day when the distance is greater than 30 minutes to a few hours by car, so even if it takes 2 months to find a date that works, we will get together. And though today felt like a Saturday, it was really a Friday and two days of the weekend remain. It was a great way to start our weekend.

ultimate blog party!

I initially posted a link in my sidebar last week after reading my friend Stephanie's blog. Steph is someone I've met in real life, but have started getting to know online. Then I got to thinking, "Do I REALLY want a bunch of strangers reading some of the personal things I've written here?" I don't even go by a psuedonym. So I removed the link.

Well, tonight I was reading Kimberly's blog, and she had also added a link about the
UBP. And I reconsidered. Plus, I just like to meet people, especially online. I can come across as an introvert in public, and I don't know how many people wrote "you're quiet, but you seem like a nice girl" in my high school yearbook because they never really got to know me and didn't know what to say. Anyway, I'm not really that quiet anymore. College, teaching, getting married, and becoming a mommy have changed me. Now I type, if not talk, too much. If you scroll to the very bottom, I have a counter because I am a little bit vain. Of course, it also includes the umpteen times a day that I read comments or post a wandering thought or two... or fifty. I added the counter at the beginning of this year, just for fun.

My "blog purpose statement" says, "this is my little bleep of cyberspace where i hope to strengthen old friendships & forge new ones. or maybe it's just another excuse for me to procrastinate." I am please to say that since I set stake in this little plot of the blogosphere, I have been blessed to keep in touch with family, re-kindle old friendships, and meet lots of wonderful people. Unfortunately, I procrastinate far too often... one of these days I'll work on that. Many entries are day-by-day snapshots of my life, whether it is boring, exciting, or somewhere in between. Some may be words that have captured my heart for a moment. Every so often, I may share a recipe (one that will most-likely be simple because I consider myself "domestically challenged".) And sometimes, as a Believer in Jesus who doesn't know all the answers, but knows the One who does, I share my faith-related ponderings. By joining in this little adventure, I do hope to meet more of you, especially some who may have been lurking unannounced behind the scenes.

If you've been around a while, thank you for keeping my party going. If you're stopping by because of the "ultimate blog party", welcome. Introduce yourself, kick up your feet and procrastinate with me and my fellowsojourners. If you haven't joined the party, yet, click on the link in my sidebar before March 9th to check it out for yourself! There are even lots of cool prizes!

word study:

dictionary.com definitions:
slothful–adjective sluggardly; indolent; lazy.

lazy – adjective

1.	averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent.

2.	causing idleness or indolence: a hot, lazy afternoon.

3.	slow-moving; sluggish: a lazy stream.

4.	(of a livestock brand) placed on its side instead of upright.

–verb (used without object)

5.

to laze.

diligent- –adjective

1.	constant in effort to accomplish something; attentive and persistent in doing anything: a diligent student.

2.	done or pursued with persevering attention; painstaking: a diligent search of the files.

An online search of the Bible found:
* 29 verses containing the word diligent
* 5 verses containing the word slothful
* 1 verse with the term lazy.

More thoughts on this to come, but I'd better get off my bum and do something...
****

Isn't it interesting that the positive word of the 3 has far more references than the other 2? I still need to read and study all the verses, but that stood out at me when I viewed the search results.

Good night, everyone!

Getting back to normal...

I guess I am thankful that my body is exhibiting signs of returning to normal cycles in just 1 month. The nausea and other symptoms are no fun, but it's nice to not have to wonder. Those symptoms can mean cycle or pregnancy, which drives me crazy when I end up waiting... especially after what happened last month. I really need to read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility... I wonder if the library has it. I am not quite ready to get back on the pill or other chemical bc. But right now the idea of getting pregnant again is a little scary. I have friends who I like to think God has given me partially to show how He provides and blesses with kids when we don't think we can afford them, but I have to admit that our faith is so weak in that area. However, since we do want more children, I would rather leave it up to God and take another pregnancy as a sign that He will take care of us and provide for all our needs. Not to mention the physical side effects. Really, while we may say that we are just being "responsible" by not having more kids if we aren't "prepared", what does it say about our faith in a sovereign God to provide? I'm just thinking in print here. This is something that is a personal decision for every couple, and reasons for or against avoiding pregnancy can be debated. But that's not my intention. I'm just thinking...

I think I'll go shower before baby bear wakes up from her nap. She'll be hungry and angry, as she's been down for quite a while now. 2 hours. Growth spurt or fighting something? Hopeful the growth spurt.