vacation!!!!!!!!
We're in Gulf Shores, Alabama for our vacation with hubby's side of the family. I am so glad we are able to all make the effort to come together every couple of years for this week in paradise!
Buddy saw the beach for his first time today. Bear was not AS afraid as last time, but more cautious than her cousins. That didn't stop her (or me and buddy) from frolicking in the gentle, warm rain with the waves washing our feet shortly after our arrival.
I forgot my usb cable. Oops.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
mystery of life
We are celebrating Buddy's birthday this week. He's officially a toddler. And a climber.
I can't believe how quickly this year has gone.
In the midst of my joy, I have two friends who are celebrating the mystery of life in a far different way. One whose little girl has been diagnosed with a very serious brain abnormality. Another as far across the country as you can get, well, almost... who just saw her new baby on the ultrasound screen, her 11th pregnancy, Lord willing the 3rd child she will get to raise.
I'm reminded that only the author of life has full knowledge and power. We don't understand His purpose, and we certainly don't get to choose the outcome. But I pray for the best...
God did miracles, I believe He still does.
Is it too much to ask for Him to display his power by healing baby Kara Faith, to defy what science says and restore her parents' hope?
Could my other friend's pregnancy please result in her holding a healthy, perfect, breathing little one this time?
Please, God?
We are celebrating Buddy's birthday this week. He's officially a toddler. And a climber.
I can't believe how quickly this year has gone.
In the midst of my joy, I have two friends who are celebrating the mystery of life in a far different way. One whose little girl has been diagnosed with a very serious brain abnormality. Another as far across the country as you can get, well, almost... who just saw her new baby on the ultrasound screen, her 11th pregnancy, Lord willing the 3rd child she will get to raise.
I'm reminded that only the author of life has full knowledge and power. We don't understand His purpose, and we certainly don't get to choose the outcome. But I pray for the best...
God did miracles, I believe He still does.
Is it too much to ask for Him to display his power by healing baby Kara Faith, to defy what science says and restore her parents' hope?
Could my other friend's pregnancy please result in her holding a healthy, perfect, breathing little one this time?
Please, God?
Monday, August 24, 2009
all's well that ends well
We received some of our first non-forwarded cards mailed to us at the new address. :) One was a "we'll miss you" card, that really made my day.
The flowers hubby ordered were delivered to the office just as he came home, so HE delivered them to me in person. Nevermind that the bouquet was similar only in shape to the one he had chosen off of 1-800-flowers.... the florist must be colorblind or not carry blues in stock or something. They are still very pretty, and the kids are thrilled that I'm sharing my happy birthday balloon with them.
We went out to supper as a family, stuffed ourselves, came home to hang out, and now the kids are fighting bedtime. Hubby has taken bedtime duty tonight.
We received some of our first non-forwarded cards mailed to us at the new address. :) One was a "we'll miss you" card, that really made my day.
The flowers hubby ordered were delivered to the office just as he came home, so HE delivered them to me in person. Nevermind that the bouquet was similar only in shape to the one he had chosen off of 1-800-flowers.... the florist must be colorblind or not carry blues in stock or something. They are still very pretty, and the kids are thrilled that I'm sharing my happy birthday balloon with them.
We went out to supper as a family, stuffed ourselves, came home to hang out, and now the kids are fighting bedtime. Hubby has taken bedtime duty tonight.
what does my day look like?
clinging and contrary almost 4 year old
baby climbing everything he can... chairs, couch, table, vacuum, but refusing to walk more than 1 step at a time
pmdd... if the meds are helping, i don't want to know how i would feel without them
laundry piles that multiply in my sleep
missing my friends from home
missing our home church
both kids resisting naps when all mommy wants to do is sleep
on the bright side....
cuddly girl "needs" her mama
a/c is working
kids' smiles and giggles at the playground
hubby tried to send me flowers for my birthday, the thought does count for something
clinging and contrary almost 4 year old
baby climbing everything he can... chairs, couch, table, vacuum, but refusing to walk more than 1 step at a time
pmdd... if the meds are helping, i don't want to know how i would feel without them
laundry piles that multiply in my sleep
missing my friends from home
missing our home church
both kids resisting naps when all mommy wants to do is sleep
on the bright side....
cuddly girl "needs" her mama
a/c is working
kids' smiles and giggles at the playground
hubby tried to send me flowers for my birthday, the thought does count for something
Sunday, August 16, 2009
blessed
We were tremendously blessed in our move this weekend. We arrived safely to our new home. On the front end of the trip, my parents provided space for us to live for a month, in spite of our complaints about the inadequate a/c in our dwelling area and my tendency to get distracted from cleaning up after my kiddos in the dining area. We had some good quality time together, plus Dad provided his truck and some manpower. And Mom made a yummy roast-beef dinner with all the sides as a send off last night.
We could not have moved without the help we received. Our former neighbor/overworked friendly police officer friend took the time from his valuable days off to help us. A couple of guys from church joined Officer R et. al. for phase I and II. They also came down to help us move in... a 4+ hour drive. (Officer R offered, but we wanted him to be able to rest a little before hitting the streets again tomorrow morning. I mean this morning.) Hubby's parents drove WAY out of their way for phase I and II and will help us unpack tomorrow before their 6 hour drive home. And Camera Guy left his wife and 4 week old beautiful baby for the day to come help. Like I said, we were blessed. And there's more...
... last week, I got together with some friends I had not seen in a while. One of them asked what area we were moving to. It turns out that she has a good friend in the same town, so she connected is on Facebook. And that friend and her family came by to met us, and her husband and another man from their church helped us unload the truck!!!! Talk about the body of Christ in action. I had hesitated to accept their offer, but when I saw how utterly exhausted hubby and Dad were last night, I decided to accept. Oh, and their kids are VERY close in age to ours! So in addition to my W@H friends who live in this area, we have another family to get to know!
I should be sleeping, but insomnia struck so here I am. :)
We were tremendously blessed in our move this weekend. We arrived safely to our new home. On the front end of the trip, my parents provided space for us to live for a month, in spite of our complaints about the inadequate a/c in our dwelling area and my tendency to get distracted from cleaning up after my kiddos in the dining area. We had some good quality time together, plus Dad provided his truck and some manpower. And Mom made a yummy roast-beef dinner with all the sides as a send off last night.
We could not have moved without the help we received. Our former neighbor/overworked friendly police officer friend took the time from his valuable days off to help us. A couple of guys from church joined Officer R et. al. for phase I and II. They also came down to help us move in... a 4+ hour drive. (Officer R offered, but we wanted him to be able to rest a little before hitting the streets again tomorrow morning. I mean this morning.) Hubby's parents drove WAY out of their way for phase I and II and will help us unpack tomorrow before their 6 hour drive home. And Camera Guy left his wife and 4 week old beautiful baby for the day to come help. Like I said, we were blessed. And there's more...
... last week, I got together with some friends I had not seen in a while. One of them asked what area we were moving to. It turns out that she has a good friend in the same town, so she connected is on Facebook. And that friend and her family came by to met us, and her husband and another man from their church helped us unload the truck!!!! Talk about the body of Christ in action. I had hesitated to accept their offer, but when I saw how utterly exhausted hubby and Dad were last night, I decided to accept. Oh, and their kids are VERY close in age to ours! So in addition to my W@H friends who live in this area, we have another family to get to know!
I should be sleeping, but insomnia struck so here I am. :)
Friday, August 14, 2009
yes, i know I have it easy...
I am home with the kids while hubby, tech mom and dad, my dad, r, and maybe someone else load the 26' moving truck.
Packing with an almost one year old and a 4 year old is not easy. Baby wants to play. He just put an empty wipes container on my card table/deesk... and proceeded to try to grab my pepsi. That's not a fair trade, bud.
Bear complains about me packing certain belongings of hers, but has otherwised occupied herself.
At least it's cooler in here than outside, though the window units in our space upstairs are not really keeping up with the TN summer heat.
I am home with the kids while hubby, tech mom and dad, my dad, r, and maybe someone else load the 26' moving truck.
Packing with an almost one year old and a 4 year old is not easy. Baby wants to play. He just put an empty wipes container on my card table/deesk... and proceeded to try to grab my pepsi. That's not a fair trade, bud.
Bear complains about me packing certain belongings of hers, but has otherwised occupied herself.
At least it's cooler in here than outside, though the window units in our space upstairs are not really keeping up with the TN summer heat.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
almost move day!
I tend to use facebook instead of my blog to share things these days. But for the moment, I've grown weary of using my status update as a blog post, so I'm back.
It's almost time.
We're having lunch with hubby's colleagues today, I'm hoping it's good-bye and not good-riddance. Although the work itself has not been a perfect fit for him, we have met some wonderful people. I know I'll keep on with two families on the blogosphere. :)
It's time to pack up the belongings we've used the past month and prepare to go to our new apartment in Georgia. I took some photos of our living arrangements, but I haven't decided if I will post them or not because they aren't really in house-showing condition at the moment.
We've visited with quite a few people the last few weeks. So far, I've only burst into tears at good-bye once. The hardest part is feeling like I was just really getting to know some people, and wondering if we'll keep in touch like we say we will.
I am most looking forward to having our own rooms again. We've been sharing a room with Bear, and Buddy inevitably joins us in our bed around 2 a.m. In spite of extra padding in the pack n play, he's probably only slept through the night in his room twice a week during our stay here. That might be a generous estimate.
I really need to get packing so we can load up easily tomorrow....
I tend to use facebook instead of my blog to share things these days. But for the moment, I've grown weary of using my status update as a blog post, so I'm back.
It's almost time.
We're having lunch with hubby's colleagues today, I'm hoping it's good-bye and not good-riddance. Although the work itself has not been a perfect fit for him, we have met some wonderful people. I know I'll keep on with two families on the blogosphere. :)
It's time to pack up the belongings we've used the past month and prepare to go to our new apartment in Georgia. I took some photos of our living arrangements, but I haven't decided if I will post them or not because they aren't really in house-showing condition at the moment.
We've visited with quite a few people the last few weeks. So far, I've only burst into tears at good-bye once. The hardest part is feeling like I was just really getting to know some people, and wondering if we'll keep in touch like we say we will.
I am most looking forward to having our own rooms again. We've been sharing a room with Bear, and Buddy inevitably joins us in our bed around 2 a.m. In spite of extra padding in the pack n play, he's probably only slept through the night in his room twice a week during our stay here. That might be a generous estimate.
I really need to get packing so we can load up easily tomorrow....
Monday, August 03, 2009
refocus
I'm learning to cherish certain aspects of this transitional time. My kids are getting quality time with my parents, something that I don't remember having much of with my own grandparents. Usually we get snippets of time with them, since they live close enough that overnight visits are not mandatory. On the other hand, since we have to drive 3+ hours to visit Tech Mom and Dad, overnight visits=more quality time.
Mom and Dad's place is for sale. 2.5 acres nestled in a field across from an antebellum in middle TN. Minutes from I -65, yet peaceful. Tree-lined driveway and yard, grape arbor with a swing under it, goldfish ponds, and even a volleyball net in the backyard. There are birds, bunnies and bullfrogs galore, along with an occasional woodchuck or deer sighting. Lucy the long-haired calico is typically shy, but if you are on her good side she will leave a mouse, mole, or other delicacy on the stoop for you. Coneflowers are in season, a few cleomi, and most of all, fresh apples. (Pears are on the way.) There are granny smith, and another variety that's sweeter.
I did not grow up here; not really. We moved to TN the middle of my Junior year of High School, and at that point the only thing growing in this yard was the bermuda grass planted by the builder and a left-over wheat stalk or two that made it's way into our yard from the adjoining farm fields. My parents planted and gardened through the years, creating a taste of Eden in Tennessee. Unfortunately, the work it takes to maintain is taking a toll on them, and they want to sell. Some parts of the yard are a bit overgrown, as is the fire pit where my friends and I burned our notes from Chemistry and Algebra II when summer vacation came around.
Anyway, Bear loves running across the yard, feeding the goldfish, chasing bunnies, gathering apples in the skirt of her dress. She asks me what Grandma is doing when my Mom bursts out in random songs that pop into her head based on a conversation or happening. And covers her ears. (She's her Daddy's girl, I guess.)
Buddy has mastered climbing up the stairs and tasted clover from the yard. Grandaddy thinks our little "bam-bam" is going to break the new sliding glass door. Seriously. He crawls to the laundry closet whenever he hears the washing machine running because it reminds him of bathtime.
We do miss our old house a bit, but at least while we are in limbo we have some times to treasure. Memories will be made, it's somewhat up to us whether they will be good or bad.
I'm learning to cherish certain aspects of this transitional time. My kids are getting quality time with my parents, something that I don't remember having much of with my own grandparents. Usually we get snippets of time with them, since they live close enough that overnight visits are not mandatory. On the other hand, since we have to drive 3+ hours to visit Tech Mom and Dad, overnight visits=more quality time.
Mom and Dad's place is for sale. 2.5 acres nestled in a field across from an antebellum in middle TN. Minutes from I -65, yet peaceful. Tree-lined driveway and yard, grape arbor with a swing under it, goldfish ponds, and even a volleyball net in the backyard. There are birds, bunnies and bullfrogs galore, along with an occasional woodchuck or deer sighting. Lucy the long-haired calico is typically shy, but if you are on her good side she will leave a mouse, mole, or other delicacy on the stoop for you. Coneflowers are in season, a few cleomi, and most of all, fresh apples. (Pears are on the way.) There are granny smith, and another variety that's sweeter.
I did not grow up here; not really. We moved to TN the middle of my Junior year of High School, and at that point the only thing growing in this yard was the bermuda grass planted by the builder and a left-over wheat stalk or two that made it's way into our yard from the adjoining farm fields. My parents planted and gardened through the years, creating a taste of Eden in Tennessee. Unfortunately, the work it takes to maintain is taking a toll on them, and they want to sell. Some parts of the yard are a bit overgrown, as is the fire pit where my friends and I burned our notes from Chemistry and Algebra II when summer vacation came around.
Anyway, Bear loves running across the yard, feeding the goldfish, chasing bunnies, gathering apples in the skirt of her dress. She asks me what Grandma is doing when my Mom bursts out in random songs that pop into her head based on a conversation or happening. And covers her ears. (She's her Daddy's girl, I guess.)
Buddy has mastered climbing up the stairs and tasted clover from the yard. Grandaddy thinks our little "bam-bam" is going to break the new sliding glass door. Seriously. He crawls to the laundry closet whenever he hears the washing machine running because it reminds him of bathtime.
We do miss our old house a bit, but at least while we are in limbo we have some times to treasure. Memories will be made, it's somewhat up to us whether they will be good or bad.
Monday, July 27, 2009
in limbo
I am beginning to feel as though I've lived out of a suitcase all summer. Oh, wait, I have, just about. Our house sold, we moved out, and the closing was last week. We're currently settled into our interim home, enjoying my parents' big yard, fresh apples from the trees, and country breezes. I think I've mentioned that I hate that they have this place for sale... but I completely see why it's getting to be too much upkeep for them. In the meantime, the kids are getting to spend quality time with Grandma and Grandpa, and at least we aren't crammed into a hotel room somewhere.
I put Bear back into gymnastics. There is a location from the company we used before 5 minutes away from my parents' home, and she said she wanted to go back. It's a good break for both of us, and I'm sure my parents are glad for a little peace and quiet. I'm thankful that they are letting us go week by week, as our life is so crazy right now. It's amazing how much this town has grown since we moved here 16 years ago, when I was a junior in high school. It's so different.
Hubby hooked up our tv, dvd player, and Wii tonight... I'm a little apprehensive about what the Fit will reveal. There is a great walking trail nearby, too, but I can't find my new running shoes. I think I left them in WI or Memphis.
I'm tired. Emotionally, physically, you name it. A lot of good things are going on in our life, but I am worn out from all the wondering and waiting. At least I have a wonderful husband and two awesome kids, and we are in the advenure together.
I am beginning to feel as though I've lived out of a suitcase all summer. Oh, wait, I have, just about. Our house sold, we moved out, and the closing was last week. We're currently settled into our interim home, enjoying my parents' big yard, fresh apples from the trees, and country breezes. I think I've mentioned that I hate that they have this place for sale... but I completely see why it's getting to be too much upkeep for them. In the meantime, the kids are getting to spend quality time with Grandma and Grandpa, and at least we aren't crammed into a hotel room somewhere.
I put Bear back into gymnastics. There is a location from the company we used before 5 minutes away from my parents' home, and she said she wanted to go back. It's a good break for both of us, and I'm sure my parents are glad for a little peace and quiet. I'm thankful that they are letting us go week by week, as our life is so crazy right now. It's amazing how much this town has grown since we moved here 16 years ago, when I was a junior in high school. It's so different.
Hubby hooked up our tv, dvd player, and Wii tonight... I'm a little apprehensive about what the Fit will reveal. There is a great walking trail nearby, too, but I can't find my new running shoes. I think I left them in WI or Memphis.
I'm tired. Emotionally, physically, you name it. A lot of good things are going on in our life, but I am worn out from all the wondering and waiting. At least I have a wonderful husband and two awesome kids, and we are in the advenure together.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
less than 5 days until our first house is no longer our home
Our house is in a complete state of disarray right now. The storage unit has been procured and is being utilized little by little. In a nutshell, here are the things we've accomplished so far, with the help of wonderful family and friends who have generously helped in some way:
We still have a lot of unanswered questions, and are praying that the one thing that appears clear stays that way. We feel incredibly blessed to have received an offer on the house so quickly, and pray that the closing process continues to go as smoothly as the rest of the listing/selling process has gone.
The kiddos have been able to spend some time with friends this week, and I so appreciate those who have taken care of them while we've tackled the packing. One of the hardest parts of this process is realizing that there are people I should have reached out to more, and beginning to realize how much I'll miss so many people.
As for the unanswered questions, we pray that God directs our paths. Anyone who thinks they completely determine their own destiny must be greatly misguided; so many things are beyond our control. It's comforting to know that there is a time for everything, a purpose and a plan, and we don't have to know every step. Yes, this whole process has been a lesson in walking by faith. At times, very stressful, and other times very peaceful. Always a tiresome adventure.
Our house is in a complete state of disarray right now. The storage unit has been procured and is being utilized little by little. In a nutshell, here are the things we've accomplished so far, with the help of wonderful family and friends who have generously helped in some way:
- emptied kitchen cabinets, except cleaning supplies under sink
- pantry emptied, except for plasticware and paper plates/bowls
- laundry room/utility cabinet cleaned out
- buddy's dressers emptied/packed
- 4 loads of boxes and totes transported to storage unit
- mini fridge defrosted
- linen closet almost empty, except for a couple of sleeping bags and blankets
- Stereo system disassembled
- walls clear of photos and frames/decorations all packed up
- Empty remaining dressers and closets
- Clean out under bathroom sinks/drawers
- Desk area....
- Miscellaneous boxes
- Returned borrowed items to individuals
- Clean, clean, clean...
We still have a lot of unanswered questions, and are praying that the one thing that appears clear stays that way. We feel incredibly blessed to have received an offer on the house so quickly, and pray that the closing process continues to go as smoothly as the rest of the listing/selling process has gone.
The kiddos have been able to spend some time with friends this week, and I so appreciate those who have taken care of them while we've tackled the packing. One of the hardest parts of this process is realizing that there are people I should have reached out to more, and beginning to realize how much I'll miss so many people.
As for the unanswered questions, we pray that God directs our paths. Anyone who thinks they completely determine their own destiny must be greatly misguided; so many things are beyond our control. It's comforting to know that there is a time for everything, a purpose and a plan, and we don't have to know every step. Yes, this whole process has been a lesson in walking by faith. At times, very stressful, and other times very peaceful. Always a tiresome adventure.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
breaking the silence
I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief now. A few weeks ago a posted about some pending changes, but did not have the freedom to share with the public. Well, I can now speak a little more freely, and I figure those who know me best or want to know me best read my blog in addition to my facebook status, so I'm posting here first. Many of you know this already.
Hubby has a pending job offer in another city, about 4 hours away from our current home. The process has begun moving, and we expect to hear his start date soon. So, while anticipating this info, we put our house on the market almost 3 weeks ago. It was a bit of a step of faith, but in this market we felt it would be the wise choice. So far we've had 4 showings, by different realtors and 1 set of offers/counter offers which we are praying will become a sale.
The process has been arduous. If you have followed my wandering thoughts for any length of time, or know me somewhat well, I am slightly organizationally challenged in some ways and VERY organizationally challenged, or undisciplined, in others... especially housekeeping. Hubby has been a HUGE help in motivating me, my sister kept the kids for a couple of days, and voila! we got the house into a showable state.
I don't have cable, therefore I don't watch those staging shows. Let me tell you, I think it's a load of manure. Yes, that's harsh. I think a reasonable person will be able to look past a little bit of personalization and perhaps some clutter. To expect people to "stage" their home like a TV set is ridiculous.
HOWEVER, the normal state of my home involves toys and laundry scattered or piled about, mail all over the kitchen clounter, dishes may or may not be caught up, floor might or might not be swept, bathrooms may or may not be clean, and nothing is ever spotless unless I find a place to stash things in a hurry. I inherited a pack rat gene. Given the choice, I would rather play with my flowers than tend my home. (Unless it's 100+degrees, as it is now with the heat index). Eden might have been a good home for me, but then I would have been Eve... I hope I'm not too much like her. Anyway, I've been finding that state of balance, and although it may not be perfect, my house is a home, and that is clear to potential buyers... minus some of the habitual messes of the past.
I have a range of emotions going through my heart and mind. Relief and joy because we have prayed for God to open a door, and there's finally now a good bit more than a crack after many slammed shut. A bit of fear of the unknown combined with anticipation of a great adventure. Sadness in thinking of family and friends from whom we'll be further separated. God-given faith knowing that He has provided for us in so many ways and is our Jehovah Jireh.
And then there's the idea of finding a new church home... again. How hard will it be to find another place where the Gospel is preached and it's okay to struggle to live it out in our lives? Where it's okay that His sanctification feels like a mystery at times in our lives, that we may change but God Himself does not... His Word does not, His grace is far more than that silly acronym "God's Riches At Christ's Expense" that I've heard in sermons far too many times.... why I roll my eyes at that acronym is a whole post in itself.
Some of my walls have just begun coming down with some of these friends, and now to start the process of finding a church family over. I hate the process of "life goes on", the one in which miles separate you and the walls come back up as the distance divides. If it seems like I've pushed people away or just not let them see my heart during this process, I probably have. I am thankful for those who have tried not to let those walls grow again... you know who you are.
I am comforted by the facts that our destination will bring me closer to a cousin who I've come to know over the past few years, some friends I've met online who have become an extended part of my family in Christ, and that new seasons bring new fruit.
I may come and go on here for a while... my absence should mean I am busy with life, my family, and hopefully not too busy on Facebook and Farm Town, though I do enjoy them. The process of preparing my home for change has also included a bit of refocusing of my own, something the never ends.
I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief now. A few weeks ago a posted about some pending changes, but did not have the freedom to share with the public. Well, I can now speak a little more freely, and I figure those who know me best or want to know me best read my blog in addition to my facebook status, so I'm posting here first. Many of you know this already.
Hubby has a pending job offer in another city, about 4 hours away from our current home. The process has begun moving, and we expect to hear his start date soon. So, while anticipating this info, we put our house on the market almost 3 weeks ago. It was a bit of a step of faith, but in this market we felt it would be the wise choice. So far we've had 4 showings, by different realtors and 1 set of offers/counter offers which we are praying will become a sale.
The process has been arduous. If you have followed my wandering thoughts for any length of time, or know me somewhat well, I am slightly organizationally challenged in some ways and VERY organizationally challenged, or undisciplined, in others... especially housekeeping. Hubby has been a HUGE help in motivating me, my sister kept the kids for a couple of days, and voila! we got the house into a showable state.
I don't have cable, therefore I don't watch those staging shows. Let me tell you, I think it's a load of manure. Yes, that's harsh. I think a reasonable person will be able to look past a little bit of personalization and perhaps some clutter. To expect people to "stage" their home like a TV set is ridiculous.
HOWEVER, the normal state of my home involves toys and laundry scattered or piled about, mail all over the kitchen clounter, dishes may or may not be caught up, floor might or might not be swept, bathrooms may or may not be clean, and nothing is ever spotless unless I find a place to stash things in a hurry. I inherited a pack rat gene. Given the choice, I would rather play with my flowers than tend my home. (Unless it's 100+degrees, as it is now with the heat index). Eden might have been a good home for me, but then I would have been Eve... I hope I'm not too much like her. Anyway, I've been finding that state of balance, and although it may not be perfect, my house is a home, and that is clear to potential buyers... minus some of the habitual messes of the past.
I have a range of emotions going through my heart and mind. Relief and joy because we have prayed for God to open a door, and there's finally now a good bit more than a crack after many slammed shut. A bit of fear of the unknown combined with anticipation of a great adventure. Sadness in thinking of family and friends from whom we'll be further separated. God-given faith knowing that He has provided for us in so many ways and is our Jehovah Jireh.
And then there's the idea of finding a new church home... again. How hard will it be to find another place where the Gospel is preached and it's okay to struggle to live it out in our lives? Where it's okay that His sanctification feels like a mystery at times in our lives, that we may change but God Himself does not... His Word does not, His grace is far more than that silly acronym "God's Riches At Christ's Expense" that I've heard in sermons far too many times.... why I roll my eyes at that acronym is a whole post in itself.
Some of my walls have just begun coming down with some of these friends, and now to start the process of finding a church family over. I hate the process of "life goes on", the one in which miles separate you and the walls come back up as the distance divides. If it seems like I've pushed people away or just not let them see my heart during this process, I probably have. I am thankful for those who have tried not to let those walls grow again... you know who you are.
I am comforted by the facts that our destination will bring me closer to a cousin who I've come to know over the past few years, some friends I've met online who have become an extended part of my family in Christ, and that new seasons bring new fruit.
I may come and go on here for a while... my absence should mean I am busy with life, my family, and hopefully not too busy on Facebook and Farm Town, though I do enjoy them. The process of preparing my home for change has also included a bit of refocusing of my own, something the never ends.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
almost home
the kids, tech mom and i finally pulled in from our long drive home from wisconsin. it turns out that hubby has some work assignments here in the "town" where we first met, so we'll be here for a couple of days at the least, perhaps until friday.
my head is spinning. i keep telling myself that i will stop typing without caps, but today is not the day. yes, i have a college degree. i know how to use punctuation, but for some reason i prefer the stream-of-consciousness-take-it-or-leave-it method of posting.
we had a good trip. parts were hard. it's never easy to watch a grandparent's age begin to catch up with her, but in the midst of her pain i was still amazed by how much better she is doing than some of her friends. having just a few of us there instead of the whole family was a change. we missed everyone who normally treks up there with us, yet it was the right arrangement to keep gramma from being so overwhelmed. of course, we didn't see everyone we would have liked to, but the connections made were wonderful. we even spent some time with one of hubby and caslon's friends from years back, who is also one of my newer blogging friends. it was so nice of her and her mom to host us for lunch on friday, and our kids also had fun getting to know eachother... except for some sharing issues. ;)
after 15 hours in the car/on the road, i'm not thinking very clearly. the kids are ecstatic to be reunited with their daddy, tackling him in the big red armchair and giggling with glee.
oh, and while some of our friends and relatives in the great cheese state have modern conveniences, gramma's valley does not have much tv, cell phone, or any internet access. she still thinks her original model electric wringer in the cellar is sufficient for doing the wash, and that shower head in the bathroom still doesn't work, so tub baths were had by all.
but, in spite of the inconveniences the week at gramma's was filled with love and that's what matters.
the kids, tech mom and i finally pulled in from our long drive home from wisconsin. it turns out that hubby has some work assignments here in the "town" where we first met, so we'll be here for a couple of days at the least, perhaps until friday.
my head is spinning. i keep telling myself that i will stop typing without caps, but today is not the day. yes, i have a college degree. i know how to use punctuation, but for some reason i prefer the stream-of-consciousness-take-it-or-leave-it method of posting.
we had a good trip. parts were hard. it's never easy to watch a grandparent's age begin to catch up with her, but in the midst of her pain i was still amazed by how much better she is doing than some of her friends. having just a few of us there instead of the whole family was a change. we missed everyone who normally treks up there with us, yet it was the right arrangement to keep gramma from being so overwhelmed. of course, we didn't see everyone we would have liked to, but the connections made were wonderful. we even spent some time with one of hubby and caslon's friends from years back, who is also one of my newer blogging friends. it was so nice of her and her mom to host us for lunch on friday, and our kids also had fun getting to know eachother... except for some sharing issues. ;)
after 15 hours in the car/on the road, i'm not thinking very clearly. the kids are ecstatic to be reunited with their daddy, tackling him in the big red armchair and giggling with glee.
oh, and while some of our friends and relatives in the great cheese state have modern conveniences, gramma's valley does not have much tv, cell phone, or any internet access. she still thinks her original model electric wringer in the cellar is sufficient for doing the wash, and that shower head in the bathroom still doesn't work, so tub baths were had by all.
but, in spite of the inconveniences the week at gramma's was filled with love and that's what matters.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
to post or not to post?
I think I've posted pictures of my glads, asiatic lilies, and callas for the past 2 years. Well, they are back, taller than ever, or in the case of the callas, thicker than ever. My stargazers that I bought really cheap at wal-mart last year are also on their way.
I love bulbs and all plants similar. Especially summer-blooming ones so far, because just when it's getting hot enough that I don't really feel like planting new things to withstand the heat, they come back and tell me that past years' efforts were worth the investment of time. One of my asiatic lily stalks has over TEN buds on it!!!!! I have a feeling I'll be staking that one back!
My camera is downstairs, so I'm not posting the pics right now, but I am wide awake after falling asleep with my little girl at bedtime... and waking up right at 11:30.
Should I post pics of the same types of flowers you've seen on here in years past?
I think I've posted pictures of my glads, asiatic lilies, and callas for the past 2 years. Well, they are back, taller than ever, or in the case of the callas, thicker than ever. My stargazers that I bought really cheap at wal-mart last year are also on their way.
I love bulbs and all plants similar. Especially summer-blooming ones so far, because just when it's getting hot enough that I don't really feel like planting new things to withstand the heat, they come back and tell me that past years' efforts were worth the investment of time. One of my asiatic lily stalks has over TEN buds on it!!!!! I have a feeling I'll be staking that one back!
My camera is downstairs, so I'm not posting the pics right now, but I am wide awake after falling asleep with my little girl at bedtime... and waking up right at 11:30.
Should I post pics of the same types of flowers you've seen on here in years past?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
a different kind of censorship
I don't work in the music industry, but I know a few people who do. There's a fairly well known artist who I got on e-mail list for a while back. Since going solo, his work has become more original and thought-provoking and less like the typical Top 20 CCM countdown material. Apparently, his record label doesn't like a song he wants to put on his album and is delaying the release.
I don't know the content of the song, but the e-mail I received got me thinking. Do record-label contracts really give them the right to completely deny an artist's choice of sharing his work with his listeners? Do they care about artistic integrity and spreading worthwhile messages from the hearts of the people they have selected to represent them, or do they manipulate those artists into fitting into a mold of some type, eventually destroying their unique identity and work, or at least damaging it?
Then again, for all I know maybe the content is shocking enough that I would think twice about buying the album... I am only speculating and don't know both sides of the story. But how much sugar-coating of the gospel do we really need in our music/art? When the message becomes a little messy or controversial, do we hide it in order to protect the sterile holiness that forgets what we are saved from by Christ's blood and resurrection? Is the motive behind the labels' discretion that of maintaining their own sense of "integrity" or the bottom line in the account?
Christians are quick to condemn the mainstream media for censoring viewpoints, but it also seems that censorship is present if not prevalent among the "Christian" media industry.
So much for authenticity....
I don't work in the music industry, but I know a few people who do. There's a fairly well known artist who I got on e-mail list for a while back. Since going solo, his work has become more original and thought-provoking and less like the typical Top 20 CCM countdown material. Apparently, his record label doesn't like a song he wants to put on his album and is delaying the release.
I don't know the content of the song, but the e-mail I received got me thinking. Do record-label contracts really give them the right to completely deny an artist's choice of sharing his work with his listeners? Do they care about artistic integrity and spreading worthwhile messages from the hearts of the people they have selected to represent them, or do they manipulate those artists into fitting into a mold of some type, eventually destroying their unique identity and work, or at least damaging it?
Then again, for all I know maybe the content is shocking enough that I would think twice about buying the album... I am only speculating and don't know both sides of the story. But how much sugar-coating of the gospel do we really need in our music/art? When the message becomes a little messy or controversial, do we hide it in order to protect the sterile holiness that forgets what we are saved from by Christ's blood and resurrection? Is the motive behind the labels' discretion that of maintaining their own sense of "integrity" or the bottom line in the account?
Christians are quick to condemn the mainstream media for censoring viewpoints, but it also seems that censorship is present if not prevalent among the "Christian" media industry.
So much for authenticity....
Monday, May 11, 2009
in a funk
I'm thinking of turning off the comments on this post so I can just whine, but I don't really want to just whine some more on my blog right now. However, I can't think of anything to post, either. Well, I can, but I can't post everything publicly and am not good at disguising the real plot in a made up plot.
Mother's Day was nice. Hubby and the kids got me a sweet gift and card. And now he's out of town for work and I am in a funk. Again. Come to think of it, meds only work if you take them. When's the last time I took mine? hmmm....
I'm thinking of turning off the comments on this post so I can just whine, but I don't really want to just whine some more on my blog right now. However, I can't think of anything to post, either. Well, I can, but I can't post everything publicly and am not good at disguising the real plot in a made up plot.
Mother's Day was nice. Hubby and the kids got me a sweet gift and card. And now he's out of town for work and I am in a funk. Again. Come to think of it, meds only work if you take them. When's the last time I took mine? hmmm....
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Tackle It Tuesday
I took a break yesterday. I did deliver a couple of orders from the bag show I had a while back, and the kids and I hit Publix to get food for supper. I made hubby broiled shrimp in lemon-butter, rice, and sauteed peppers, onion, and mushrooms with a bit of Worcestshire in them for his belated birthday homemade dinner. His parents treated us to Famous Dave's on his actual birthday.
Anyway, since it IS Tuesday, and since I happen to have things I need to do around here, I decided to make a list of things I need to do this week and share it.
To do this week:
Purple=Done
Yellow= In progress
(My list was interrupted by a tickle-tackle from my kids. Buddy conveniently fell while trying to stand up. When I went to help him, he and Bear tackled me.)
I took a break yesterday. I did deliver a couple of orders from the bag show I had a while back, and the kids and I hit Publix to get food for supper. I made hubby broiled shrimp in lemon-butter, rice, and sauteed peppers, onion, and mushrooms with a bit of Worcestshire in them for his belated birthday homemade dinner. His parents treated us to Famous Dave's on his actual birthday.
Anyway, since it IS Tuesday, and since I happen to have things I need to do around here, I decided to make a list of things I need to do this week and share it.
To do this week:
Purple=Done
Yellow= In progress
(My list was interrupted by a tickle-tackle from my kids. Buddy conveniently fell while trying to stand up. When I went to help him, he and Bear tackled me.)
- schedule appts.
- clean bathrooms
- laundry- wash/dry/put away
- clean off top of dresser
- plant acidanthera bulbs
- wash floors
- clean out fridge
- change sheets
- wash doors
- wash windows
- sort/purge toys- give some away, decide which ones the kids actually use and organize them
- clean off desk
- organize inside and around desk
- empty/reload dishwasher
Monday, May 04, 2009
What rose are you today?
a sunny, yellow gold glow with a double bloom
a romantic, mysterious lavender hued "blue girl" with a sweet fragrance
bouquet of gold glows who had a little too much drink
My favorite of the 3 is the blue girl today.
But I feel more like the last pic, though I am probably closer to dehydration than water-log.
What color rose are you today? One of these or a different variety?
a sunny, yellow gold glow with a double bloom
a romantic, mysterious lavender hued "blue girl" with a sweet fragrance
bouquet of gold glows who had a little too much drinkMy favorite of the 3 is the blue girl today.
But I feel more like the last pic, though I am probably closer to dehydration than water-log.
What color rose are you today? One of these or a different variety?
Sunday, May 03, 2009
change
Change is often good, but rarely easy. I suppose there are people whose temperament requires them to live in a constant state of change. I'm not one of those. While I do enjoy experiencing new places, cultures, meeting new people, etc.... in spite all my talk on the blog, old habits are hard to break.
But sometimes life necessitates change. Life would, in fact, be boring without it. That still doesn't make it easy.
This weekend, we have had lots of help preparing for some potentially big changes in our lives. That's not easy for this procrastinaholic.
I have a lazy streak. I'm not sure where it came from, as both of my parents work hard. Not always efficiently, but steadily. Several years ago, while my Dad was on sick leave and on IV antibiotics with a nurse coming in to check on him, he built a hutch for the top of a chest of drawers. Dad attempted to build a boat... it got damaged in our move halfway across the country, and never floated, but we built it. Well, he built it. Mom calls herself a one-at-atime person, but she does her best, and tried to teach me to do my best.
After a week of Spring Cleaning, I am exhausted. My kids are relatively "easy" kids... they are sweet, fun, and often as patient as one could expect a 3 1/2 year old and 8 month old to be. I am SOOO thankful for the help we had this weekend, because one of us was always able to continue tackling a project or sit down with a little.
So what am I doing as hubby is quickly filling up the storage closet and going through piles of stuff? Procrastinating, I guess is the politically correct term. He could at least take a break on his birthday!!!
Change is often good, but rarely easy. I suppose there are people whose temperament requires them to live in a constant state of change. I'm not one of those. While I do enjoy experiencing new places, cultures, meeting new people, etc.... in spite all my talk on the blog, old habits are hard to break.
But sometimes life necessitates change. Life would, in fact, be boring without it. That still doesn't make it easy.
This weekend, we have had lots of help preparing for some potentially big changes in our lives. That's not easy for this procrastinaholic.
I have a lazy streak. I'm not sure where it came from, as both of my parents work hard. Not always efficiently, but steadily. Several years ago, while my Dad was on sick leave and on IV antibiotics with a nurse coming in to check on him, he built a hutch for the top of a chest of drawers. Dad attempted to build a boat... it got damaged in our move halfway across the country, and never floated, but we built it. Well, he built it. Mom calls herself a one-at-atime person, but she does her best, and tried to teach me to do my best.
After a week of Spring Cleaning, I am exhausted. My kids are relatively "easy" kids... they are sweet, fun, and often as patient as one could expect a 3 1/2 year old and 8 month old to be. I am SOOO thankful for the help we had this weekend, because one of us was always able to continue tackling a project or sit down with a little.
So what am I doing as hubby is quickly filling up the storage closet and going through piles of stuff? Procrastinating, I guess is the politically correct term. He could at least take a break on his birthday!!!
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