38 weeks

Where has the time gone? I have been blessed with a smooth pregnancy. What has stood out the most has been the process of seeing our little girl "get it". Now, I am not blind to the fact that she doesn't yet understand all the ways her life is about to change (or mine, for that matter). But it is not uncommon for her to just come up and give my belly a hug, kiss, or both. She talks about him as if he were already here, which he is in a way. She is growing into such a big girl, and while it excites and awes me, part of me wants to scream, "No!!!! Don't grow up so fast!!!" I am amazed by her sense of logic and reason at a young age. And order. She already has the gift of communication and draws conclusions that some teenagers would not verbalize. She likes to help and that is going to come in handy when we need diapers, wipes, another blankie, etc.... Yet I also want to remember to not push her to grow up too fast, to encourage her to experiment... to play with caterpillars, pick tomatoes, paint her craft in her own way without fretting about the mess. There is a time and place for order, and there is a time and place for creativity.

Oh, wait, this entry was supposed to be about my 38th week of pregnancy with our little guy. Well, my check-up is not until tomorrow, so not much to report statistically today. Occasional Braxton Hicks, but nothing major. My biggest complaints are heartburn and getting up from the couch or in and out of bed. I am trying to go for walks once a day or so, or at least every other day....

I love feeling the movements inside, even when I get jabbed in the ribs or my bladder hurts. Bear was never as continuously active as Little Guy has been, and I can't help but wonder if that's an indication of his temperament. Or just a boy vs. girl difference.

I am a bit anxious about nursing, since it was so hard with Bear and she had such difficulty gaining weight at first, but trying not to worry about it.

I am looking forward to having hubby home instead of having him rush off to training 8 hours away. In fact, I'm looking forward to (hopefully) going into labor on my own, when my body and baby are ready. In that sense, this almost feels like a first pregnancy... without the fear of the complete unknown of labor, since I have labored before.

I am also a bit sad. I have several friends online and in real life who have lost babies during the time that I have been pregnant, one has lost her 2nd. (The first would have been due this week.) So I mourn for my friends, Moms who are wondering "why?", and wish they could experiece the journey of motherhood without the pain. I pray that they will not lose hope, that the Lord will bless them with healthy pregnancies and children.

This is a milestone week. Almost 3 years ago, I went into my 38-week check-up and my doctor offered the induction the next week because she knew our circumstances. That was best for us.
This time, I revel in the mystery and expectation... with a few aches and pains along the way. It's exciting!