All it takes is a little rainbow

As I drove home this morning after dropping Bear off at her school (running late as usual), I saw the end of a rainbow to the south, just beyond a hill.  It was just the tail end, there was no arch visible from my perspective.  I smiled.  Rainbows are unexpected in January.  I think of them as a Spring or Summer occurrence.   Well, it is Spring-like with out daffodils and tulips and hyacinths peeking through the ground here in the Southeastern US, but that's not the point.  We could, in theory, get a snow storm tomorrow.  Because it's winter.  But I digress...

I continued toward home, and the other end of the rainbow was visible slightly north, not very far from our neighborhood.  The sky was dark and ominous in between the two ends, yet the colors I saw were pretty vibrant and made me smile.  Rainbows remind me of hope.  God gave a promise of hope to Noah, and after Noah's obedience the rainbow shone across the sky.  Noah would have missed it had he disobeyed and failed to build the ark. (In addition to what have been his obvious demise.)

At that point I was in a great mood by the time I got back to the house.  My mental list of things to tackle was ceasing to overwhelm me, my determination was growing.  About an hour later, it was time to take Buddy to his preschool.  I pressed the button on the remote in the garage for the opener... grind.... scrape... grind.... the door didn't budge, the chain did not even look like it was moving.   The house is 18-ish years old, and the garage door opener is original.  We had the springs and cables professionally replaced after we moved in.  Sigh.  Had we wasted our money?  Irrelevant right now, as I pondered how to get the SUV out of the garage.  I contemplated pulling it forward and trying to back it out of the other side, but the risk of hitting my husband's motorcycle or worse, the wall between the two garage doors, was not appealing.  (I do think it was possible.)  I looked at the manual release.  Some idiot had tied it out of reach.  (I later realized I was calling my husband an idiot on the phone when I vented to him. Oops.)  So I grabbed the step ladder and a bamboo skewer, and used the skewer to loosen the knot.  It worked.  Opening the door was still tricky, that thing is HEAVY... but I got it open enough to back out.  Which I did.  (All the while my 3 year old thought it was an adventure.  "Mommy, be careful on the ladder!") After backing into the driveway, I closed the beastly door (it kind of slammed in spite of my efforts to control it).  Buddy was only about 30 minutes late to school, no biggie...
So, we'll be calling the garage door service to come back out and figure out what happened... in the meantime, I get to park in the driveway.  In the rain.

It's easy to let a little thing like this ruin my day. Especially considering the house seems to be full of things that keep wearing out or breaking, not to mention the relatively minor damage caused by a natural disaster followed by the frustration over the poor workmanship in the repair process. (That's another story, don't ask.)

But this morning there was a rainbow.  A glimmer of Spring in the bleak midwinter. (The rainbow has disappeared and there's a nice drizzle falling outside now.) So my big girl panties have been pulled on, and I am tackling little projects one at a time, taking care of what I can, thanking God for my many blessings (including my home and the challenges it thrusts at us), and making it a good day.

mid-afternoon melancholy

This is the time of day where I want to take a nap or cry for no good reason.  I am exhausted.  I'm sure growing the little shrimp in my belly has something to do with it, but not all.  The weeks where my other half works out of town are the hardest, and after having him home for a month his absence is even more noticeable.

Can the kids and I just eat out every night so I don't have to worry about dishes to clean up?  Pretty please?

Baby Checkup #2

We (the whole family) went to my 12 week 4 day check-up today.  My new OB/Gyn likes utilizing technology and I knew we would get to have another ultrasound.  Part of me worried a bit because the nurse practitioner called it a viability scan, as though something last time may have indicated the need.  I am not used to numerous scans.

I have felt tired, but good overall.  Yes, some nausea and a little vomiting on occasion, but considering I spent what felt like hours over the porcelain throne with both Bear and Buddy (especially Bear), the lack of eventfulness was beginning to worry me.  My appointment came just in time.  Just yesterday I shared about my anxiety with some friends at MOPS.

I forgot to pack one of my meds before we went to Memphis for Christmas, and just never resumed taking it when we got back, so I am carefully monitoring my motions and asking hubby to do the same.  I would have to wean off in the 3rd trimester anyway, and with the influx of pregnancy hormones I am actually feeling much happier off the meds than I expected... minus the aforementioned mild anxiety.

So, we arrived.  The ultrasound tech decided to go ahead and try a normal abdominal u/s machine since I am halfway between weeks 12 and 13, and she was able to get a clear view of our baby.  Well, except for the fact that the little one was literally doing flips inside my belly.  The baby's heartbeat was 146 BPM and we saw the nose, brain, spine, arms and legs, and heart... that is one of the coolest things to me.

Big Sis was excited, Big Bro just wanted to be free and run around, but what surprised me was how the miracle of seeing your baby never gets old.  In fact, I think the awe and wonder grows with each pregnancy.  People who don't know me well cannot tell I have a baby bump, which is par for the course with my long torso.  And with the lack of morning sickness, I have often wondered if it was real, the first ultrasound was becoming a distant memory.  So to see and hear that heartbeat and watch a very active little baby move around on the TV screen, and then to have the u/s tech and nurse practitioners confirm that everything looks perfect is very overwhelming.  In a good way.  Baby looks like a tiny person in there, not just a belly bean with nubs, but a fully developing human being.  It truly is a miracle.

Here's Belly Bean!

Taken 12/2/11, measuring 7 weeks 3 days, EDD July 16th, 2012.  Heart beat of 163bpm.

Part of me is ecstatic.  Part of me is a bit afraid.  Apparently God knows I can handle more than I think I can.  But, I am 35 and I would rather go ahead and have our third while I am still young. ;)  There's the saying that 2 is the perfect # of children because you have 2 hands... with 3 you are outnumbered.  Perhaps.  I have observed our 3 year old boy around babies recently, and he seems captivated by them.  Now, I am not naive.  We will have to watch him closely because he switches form affectionate to way to playful and rough without notice.  But as we have contemplated getting pets, the thought, "I would rather have another kid" crossed my mind.... and guess what, it looks like we are having another child!  Bear is already an awesome big sister, and I am sure Buddy will be a good big brother, too.

Now, I have to admit that I ended up being resentful when my sister was born... I really am not sure how it happened, because she was cute.  I have my theory.  Anyway, fortunately we have grown closer with time, especially since become Moms 7 weeks apart back in 2005.  I always said I wanted 2 or 4 kids because I disliked being the middle child... now I am pretty sure 3 will be just fine.  We'll just have to work hard to make sure each one gets that special individual attention from Mom and Dad that they need.  Somehow.

Operation Preparation

Thanksgiving is at our place this year.  We are looking forward to the echoes of footsteps, the sound of the kids laughter, and time with hubby's side of the family for a few days.  Hubby and I are fighting sinus stuff, but that did not stop him from kicking into gear and helping to prepare the house.  I helped Buddy pick up his room, Daddy helped sissy with hers (the more difficult of the two).  I then tackled the bonus room... which is also know as the playroom.  I am so thankful for that space, because we can just shut a door and ignore it from time to time.  (Which I do.)  However, it will be the girls' slumber party room again in a few days, so I had some picking up to do.   Buddy helped clean up blocks, Bear occasionally brought in a few things from her room to add to the collection.  I really should have taken pictures, because even though they are not perfect, all 3 rooms are so much better.  Grandma and Mom and Dad T. will arrive on Tuesday, the rest of the gang comes on Wednesday. 

I have a secret.

Except it's not really a secret because I have told a handful of friends and my sister.  This post shall remain in my drafts until I decide to not make it a secret anymore, but I am fighting a little bout of insomnia and decided to post some thoughts.

A week and a half ago on a Friday afternoon, I took a little test.  According to prior experience and www.peeonastick.com, The Dollar Tree has these little tests that work better than some of the more expensive tests.  I THOUGHT I saw the tiniest pink line, but it was hard to tell if I was imagining things, in spite of the fact that my cycle was a week late.  So I retested the next morning.  And the line was slightly darker.  At this point, I still didn't believe it, so on Monday  11/7 I called my doctor and asked them to add "pregnancy test" to the list of topics to discuss at a check-up scheduled for the next day.

Apparently their test was also positive, because they asked how I felt about this baby.  Being a practice made up of women and one man who was not in the office at the time, I loved their honesty and caution.  Once they knew I was excited, they shared in my excitement and congratulated me.

"Cautiously optimistic."  Though we were not technically trying yet, one instance of not avoiding pregnancy is all it takes, so the parents tell their unwed teenage daughters.  Turns out, the same holds true for married couples.  I should know by now, Buddy was conceived the first month off the pill.

So yes, we are cautiously optimistic with a healthy dose of excitement.  I couldn't resist and even told the kids, and big sister is ecstatic.  She keeps bringing me water or milk for the baby and rubs and kisses my tummy, which seems to be growing.

However there is a part of me that is anxious, scared perhaps.  Not because of the added expense and logistical issues of having more kids than you have hands with which to hold them.  But because of what happened early in 2007... I finally believed the positive pregnancy tests and then the cramping bleeding started. We never met that sweet, teensy tiny little person.

Other than some extra fatigue and occasional spells of nausea, I feel fine.  And I know it's early, at 6 weeks 4 days or something like that, but that scares me.  I keep reminding myself that I didn't start feeling pregnant with Bear until closer to 8 weeks, and then it hit like a bad storm. "IT" being the nausea and puking... lots of it.

So I pray.  A lot.  And wonder if I can make it to Thanksgiving.  Hubby wants to surprise the family.

I am excited that our nephew who is due early next year will have a cousin relatively close to his age.  I am excited that our son will get the opportunity to be a big brother. (Though he keeps asking of we are going to the baby store at the hospital to get a baby.)  I am thrilled that my daughter keeps asking to watch a video on babycenter about the first 9 weeks of development.  I have avoided the "how does the baby get in your tummy?" question and am open to suggestions on how to tell the truth without telling more details than a 6 year old needs to know.

So there you have it.  Our little secret.  If all is progressing well, baby should be about the size of a blueberry this week.  The intricate details of the human design amaze me more every pregnancy, and I just pray that we get to meet this little one.

parenting is heart work

I think it's time to dig through my boxes of books and find our copy of "Parenting is Heart Work" to read again.  About halfway through Bear's 5th year, sassiness began getting stronger and stronger and stronger.  now that she is 6, her strong will is also strengthening.

The challenge as a parent is not to just punish, but to teach consequences for actions.  Punishment without somehow conveying the reason for the punishment is futile and, in my opinion, will only lead to rote feigned obedience and sneaking around as they get older.

Helping a 6 year old learn proper behavior is not as easy as just telling her the golden rule.  It forces me to examine my heart as I choose the best form of discipline for the situation. 

Some days, like today, it's really hard to fight anger and frustration (on both sides).

Parenting IS heart work... on my part as the parent, then on my children's.  Or maybe I should say also on my children's, as only God can truly change our hearts.

observations....

My daughter and I have some personality similarities.  I have a hard time remembering my early childhood.  I remember bits and pieces, some highs, some lows.  I remember some toys and activities, etc., but I don't remember what "I" was like as a person.  So I asked Mom this weekend, shortly after a confrontation with my non-cooperative 6 year old.  She said I held things in more than my girl does.  Later on during the weekend, Dad mentioned that they were harder on us than we are on our kids.  Hmmmm... in light of the fact that I now have a tendency to share too much, perhaps THAT's part of why I held things in.

Parenting is tough.  You have to make decisions about discipline, etc... in areas that are far from black and white.  YOU have to decide when to extend grace or mercy, or when to be strict and what some might call just.

One of my goals is to make sure that my kids know that our relationship is more important than the hierarchy.  Respect is important, but I want them to trust me as well.  I don't want them to be afraid to talk about things, and when the need for discipline arises, I want it to be productive, not demeaning. Finding that balance is hard.

reprieve

After I finished last night's post, I read a few Palms before bedtime.  Then I slept more soundly than I have in a while.

reflections of a weary mom

I would like to say that I came back from almost 48 hours at MOPS convention completely rejuvenated and inspired.  The convention was refreshing and inspiring, after all. It was easy to cast my worries aside, by thankful, worship God, and soak up encouragement from other women and Moms.  Lisa Harper, Mandisa, Lauren Dungy, Travis Cottrell (ok, he's a dad, but he led worship)... those are just some of the big names.

Yet my reality was that the closer I got to home, the more aware I was that my other half would have to leave on Monday and I would have a few days with the kids by myself.  Again.

The thing that disturbs me most is the fact that I HAVE what I always wanted.  I have a loving, devoted husband and two beautiful, healthy children.  I worked toward my education degree thinking I might homeschool, for crying out loud.

And then reality hit.  I DON'T do stress well.  It's genetic.  That's the core of my struggle.

Add in the stress of dealing with a contractor who shows up at the door unannounced to "follow-up," just when the boy is actually sitting on the potty and not spraying the hallway or the floor or just his clothes.  I tried to tell big sis not to even go to the door, but she either did not hear my voice at all or just did not process the words I said, because there she was standing at the deadbolted door with just enough glass for the unexpected visitor to be able to hear her and see her.  Drat.  Where is the ugly solid metal door that you can't see through except for a peep hole when you need it?  Add "don't open the door for anyone except family" to the list of things I've somehow failed to teach her - because were it not for the deadbolt out of reach, she would have opened it wide.

I am having a hard time finding the joy in the journey right now.  I am so thankful for the friends God has put in my life who help me refocus and know I am not alone in this journey, even on the days it feels like a bad dream and I say things that I really don't mean to my kids out of sheer frustration.

God, grant me some extra grace.  I really need it right now.  My family needs it.

"Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it."

addictions come in many forms

Fortunately, FB is my worst time waster, I mean, there are far worse addictions to have.  With our return to having a yard and the return of Spring, my addiction to playing in the dirt and trying to grow things has also been revived.  It is fun seeing what we got in our yard when we bought the house in the bleak midwinter. :)

Our variegated hostas were HUGE until the hail flattened them, they are coming back nicely, along with some purple salvia.  Fortunately, the tiger lilies did not lose all their buds and we have 3 open with 3 more on the way.  Then there was the pink creeping phlox, spirea shrub, azaleas (salmon and white), japanese maple, and a few other shrubs.

The pansies we planted did not take off as well as I had hoped.  I am too frugal to pull them out and replace them, so I continue to water and fertilize in hopes that they will do ok.  My dear friend Anna brought me some iris from her yard- yay!  There are new leaves sprouting, so I know they will bloom next Spring.  The white candytuft must like being picked by the kiddos, because even though it is an early bloomer, more keep coming.  It is a perennial that should rebloom every year.  We'll see if the hyacinths or tulips I planted come up next spring, I plan to add daffodils to the mix in the fall.


we have just 1 big boy tomato plant and it seems to be doing well, the cucumber seeds resulted in 15 sprouts so I should probably thin those out in their pot.  I love having basil on the deck, fresh herbs add so much to my feeble attempts at cooking.  The oregano I planted is sprouting slowly, I hope it grows.

Mom brought me a wandering jew in a hanging pot along with a fern, and the swing area under the deck still screams, "landscape me!"

And then there are the lilies.  A few weeks ago I used a groupon and ended up with 4 plants.  I bought a couple to give as gifts yesterday, and one was a big enough clump that I was able to split part of it off for myself.  We have buds on the yellow "betty woods" variety, and Bear's "Bela Lugosi" which was a gift from the lily farmer. I had picked one plant out to give as a gift, and then when I saw another in bloom yesterday, I HAD to buy both.

"Singing His Praises" is the one I picked out to be a gift... reminds me of a peony! 

The farmer had the first "Northern Nocturne"of the season in bloom and I could not resist.  Gorgeous! 


I have a lot of things I would like on my mental list.... but some of them need flower beds in the back yard, and I am not quite motivated enough to dig through the thick grass.


Yes, I am addicted.  When my flowers multiply enough to split, I will be glad to share them on a first come first serve basis.  It will probably take a couple of years, though! 

I just need to remember to wear my sunscreen.

Friday Felicities

• kiddos painting watercolors
• kitchen table is old, they can't hurt it
• none of the eggs cracked during boiling process for egg dying
• kitchen floor is still not sticky (washed it last night)
• family members coming to visit tomorrow
• friends from high school stopping by next week as they pass by to their destinations
• Jesus loves me and the Holy Spirit helps me overcome my unbelief.

Friday Felicities: Resumed

(For more "Friday Felicities", go here:http://beckyperry.us/?p=1481)

PMS and my anxiety issues have reared their evil, ugly head this week.  I hate it when that happens, but it is what it is. When Sara reminded me of this lost attitude adjuster/meme, I decided to try to let go of my pity party, and give them over to the One who created me for so much more.

"The joy of the LORD is my strength." 

So, that ugly stuff aside, here are the things that have made me happy this week:

• My 2 1/2 year old boy is currently taking spoons out of the drawer, dipping them in my coffee, and licking them, then returning them to the drawer.  Yes, I realize that means I will have to wash all the spoons and the silverware holder in that drawer.  But who can resist a little boy who says, "Mommy, spoon for you!  Drink!"  This is the same boy who returned his sippy  cup to the cabinet after it had been used.  I love how he asserts his independence, even if the result is more work for me.
• My 5 year old daughter and her obsession with yarn.  There is a pile of snipped pieces on my counter, I have no idea why she loves cutting it so much, but it's one of those endearing things she has picked up. Time for some yarn art with glue and paper in addition to the pieces I find all over.
• The weather.  Both the sunshine and the rain.  It's fun discovering what the precious owners had in the flowerbeds, and adding my own.  And I am always amazed by how rain perks up the flowers better than watering with our hose.  The kids and I are enjoying being able to play outside, whether it is in the yard or at one of the many parks.  Hubby even rode his motorcycle to work yesterday.  It was chilly in the morning, but perfect on the way home!
• An old friend's upcoming visit (and meeting the guy who has brought a new dose of joy to her life.)
• Our basic charcoal grill. We "splurged" on a gas grill at our old house.  The starter went out, and then we gave it away when we moved. We are loving the return to the flavor of charcoal.  Apparently a wild animal loved the leftovers on our scraper, it disappeared one night.
• My grill-master hubby who cooks meat on that grill.
• New friends in the making, for me and the littles.  The thought of getting together with people I barely know almost gives me an anxiety attack, but it is worth it in the end.

Champion Daylilies

Last weekend, a Groupon special caught my eye.  There is apparently a daylily hybridizer within 5 minutes of my house, with hundreds of beautiful varieties.

We had yellow daylilies that the builders planted the beds of our first house.  They were basic yellow, single blooms, and they multiplied like crazy.  I even dug some up and planted them for my neighbor when I was 7+ months pregnant with Buddy, and my friend, who professes to have a brown thumb, has not killed them yet.

So, I saw the Groupon ($12 for 3 plants), saw the convenient address, perused the website, and decided the offer could not be resisted.  The kids and I headed over yesterday.  The "farm" is on just an acre, but wow, the grower has maximized his space.  He has a big backyard, several rows of potted plants, and the path that leads to that area is lined with other perennials.  It was all I could do to stick to my plan.

Mr. Schumaker was friendly and helpful.  He asked if I had grown daylilies before.  And then, he totally made our day when he asked Bear her favorite color and told her she could have a plant for herself if she could pick it up.  She did. :)

So what varieties did we bring home?

Bear's Bela Lugosi

Betty Woods

Peach Magnolia

Grey Witch with creeping phlox from the front yard added in (and the little bed that the kids and I dug and put together for it.)

Here are photos from the Champion Daylilies site that show what the flowers will look like when they bloom, if I don't kill them!!!  I love how each of the leaves looks distinct... for example, the peach magnolia has bushier leaves.  The downside to daylilies is that each bloom lasts only a day, but at least they have multiple blooms.  They are just best enjoyed outside.

The quote I posted a couple of days ago ...

"Let go of your need to have more. When you stop needing more of everything, more of what you desire seems to arrive in your life. Since you're detached from the need for it, you find it easier to pass it along to others, because you realize how little you need in order to be satisfied and at peace." - Dr. Wayne Dyer

reminds me of the quote, "where your heart is, there your treasure will be."  It is so easy to get caught up in things, the new TV, car, house, etc.

I was raised frugally.  I had very few name brand items, never had a car of my own until I graduated from college, and the car my parents let me drive was an 84 cavalier hatchback with no a/c.  It was kind of cute, but when my husband and I began dating, that 2 hour trek from my college to his house resulted in a very sweaty me.  I stopped going on family vacations in order to work to save for my next year of college, so it's been 20 years since I have been to visit my relatives in the northeast.  Thankfully some of them came to my wedding or my siblings weddings.

Anyway, my Mom has called me her "yuppy daughter" twice in the last 6 months.  The first time hurt me because it sounded so matter of fact and critical.  I KNOW my family, I know that joking and sarcasm are a fluent dialect of our English language, and I KNOW she did not mean to hurt.  But when I heard yuppy, I heard "snob who is focused only on outward appearance."  Gee, thanks, Mom.
The context?  We were house hunting, seeking out the area with the best schools since my ambitions to home school our children have waned, at least for now. And when looking at the area on which we honed in, well, it apparently has a snobby reputation.  Fortunately, we bought our previous house before the market peaked and sold it before it crashed, and the difference was in savings for 18 months.  I really don't think it's the result of anything we did or did not do, I have friends who have had to file for bankruptcy.  God-loving, grace-filled friends.  It doesn't seem fair at all, it is what it is.  But it makes me want to apologize, but then, there is no apology needed. Our situations are not always products of our choices.   God's greatest blessing is not in THINGS, it's in RELATIONSHIP.  First and foremost, relationship with Him through the gift of salvation by faith in Jesus Christ, then relationship with other people.  Things will pass away.

Yesterday afternoon, I called Mom and asked her to consider coming a day or two early for their upcoming visit.  We have space.  More importantly, the grandkids haven't seen them since Thanksgiving.  The last time they came, they left less than 24 hours later.  Oh, there was a circumstance that caused them to have to leave so soon, but try explaining that to your 4 year old.  All she knew  was that Grandma and Grandpa left without spending much time.  And she wanted more time with them.  The car accident I had last summer during our visit was a blessing in disguise, because we "HAD" to stay longer while the car was getting fixed.

Mom also dropped the "y" word in our conversation again yesterday.  Jokingly, of course, as we do in our family.  I pointed out that my parents did the same thing when we were young... moved us to a so-called snobby area to get us into the better school district (and closer to Dad's work).  Our home was not in the most expensive neighborhood, but the kids at church ribbed me for living in "Snuburbia."  She went on to say she is glad we are "doing better" (financially, I suppose), and I know she did not mean to be critical in her assessment. And more importantly, I think they are going to come a couple of days early when they visit next month.

We bought this home so we would have room for family to come and stay without having to pay to stay in a hotel, hopefully the whole family at one time (well, grandparents, us, siblings, and nieces and nephews at the very least.  Our extended family is huge, we probably can't fit EVERYONE, but we can try!)  We did not set out to buy something this big, but it's what God provided based on the market when we were looking. 


My point in all this is that while as the previously posted quote points out that our goal should not be to have more, there are other heart issues.  Just because someone lives in a "big, big house" does not mean that is their ultimate goal.  Those who have less are often just as guilty of judging and name calling as anyone else, intentionally or unintentionally.  And now, as we HAVE this material blessing on our hands, it's our privilege and duty to try to use it for God's glory.  Welcome family and friends with open arms and hearts, being gracious hosts. (Hospitality is NOT my spiritual gift, and I am not Martha Stewart or Rachel Ray).  Hopefully we'll teach our kiddos that anything and everything we have is by God's grace, and we should be thankful for it and not take it for granted, no matter how much or how little it is.

I pray that we will not feel the need to fill the house with things (as so-called yuppies might, I guess), but with the intangible: love, laughter, faith and the joy of living.

Tackle It Tuesday


It's been a while.  I am not going to tackle these things today, but am posting the pics as a reminder of a couple of the bigger projects I want to tackle this Spring/Summer.

What are your favorite do it yourself landscape and garden sites?  This space has so much potential to be a retreat where we can read a book, sip a smoothie,  etc.

Another view of the swing area.

This bench was in our front yard, but the extra stroke of trim paint from the windows in addition to the need for TLC just got on my nerves.  It's probably going to happen before the swing retreat area.

****

My actual tackle list for today is much more mundane, for the most part:

1) wash, dry and put away dishes in the sink

2) take a shower

3) wash the sheets from Bear's bed and the guest bed

4) sweep and "shark" the floor- kitchen and downstairs, at least

5) the big one- fill out paperwork for Bear's Kindergarten registration and go to the open house tonight.

And apparently little mister who just sat on the potty but did nothing has now done something in his diaper.  Oh, joy.  So changing diapers is still on my tackle list.

5 weeks

We've been in our home 5 weeks.  Kate blogged that this was 5 year old Lucy's first day at home since February 19th.  While they were beginning the hell of Lucy's health problems, we were moving out of our cramped apartment and into our dream home.

I have been so touched by their story.  I don't know them, although I think we attended the same university.  Perhaps it's because Lucy is just a few months younger than Hannah, maybe because I had a small cancer scare personally a decade ago, but Kate's faith through the journey she's been handed has been such an inspiration.


It's crazy that 5 weeks can mean something so different depending on your situation.

Here's the link to their blog if you want to follow, and pray along:

garden envy

I am trying hard not to cover my neighbors.  For my kids? I want to get them a swingset.  For me?  I want dirt.  Yes, I covet my neighbor's dirt.

There is a house down the street with a 3 tier garden into the slope of their side yard.  And brick walkway up the center.  Framed by posts, not railroad ties but those other landscaping posts. 

We met the owners today.  And several of the neighbors who were just hanging out in the yard with them.  The dad/husband is the one who almost ran us off the nature trail when he gave his daughter a ride on his wife's Spree scooter.  Not really, but I had to give him a hard time about the "no motorized vehicles" sign that is posted.

Anyway, the problem with my garden envy is that I want the end result but I'm not sure that I'm ready to commit to the work that a garden requires.  Maybe I'll just go buy some large pots and grow cherry tomatoes in them.

"Let go of your need to have more. When you stop needing more of everything, more of what you desire seems to arrive in your life. Since you're detached from the need for it, you find it easier to pass it along to others, because you realize how little you need in order to be satisfied and at peace." - Dr. Wayne Dyer

One of my sister's best friends posted the above quote in her Facebook status today, and it really hit home with my thoughts lately.  I'm trying to gather my thoughts in greater detail, but I wanted to share somewhere where I can go back and reflect on it, not just in the passing of my ADHD status updates.

Think Spring

It got colder again today.  A front came through last night and took away our warm Spring-like weather.  Nonetheless, I can't help but be encouraged by the renewal and new growth in my yard.

Little Buddy stepped on tulip #3.  Maybe it will grow and bloom next year.  I planted these a few weeks ago.

Last weeks yard project: white flowers are "candytuft",  I can't wait for the purple pansies to take off.  The carpet of creeeping phlox on the left is compliments of the previous owners.

Anyone know what this could be? I am guessing daisies or black eyed susans or something, I don't know.

These mini pansies, aka johnny jump ups, were growing in our grass, so I dug them up and put them in the flower bed. 

mystery lillies... I hope they are pretty!