modern tools, of sorts

We have lived in our house about 3 1/2 years. I have become a huge fan of such modern conveniences as the garbage disposal and dishwasher. One of these days, I will clean my self-cleaning oven, but the one in our former apartment always smelled awful, so for now I jet let the gunk build up... I know, that's bad. Anyway, our dishwasher is nice, but lately it's been having some issues... mostly with spotting, etc. I couldn't remember the last time I used rinse aid, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. Hubby bawlked at the $4 price tag for the blue liquid, but we still bought it. This morning, as I put the clean dishes away, I noticed a significant difference in the shine of the dishes. The plastic things were actually dry, too.

I don't remember ever seeing my mom use rinse aid in the dishwasher. And I am sure because it was considered to be a luxury that we didn't need. Well, it sure was nice to have the tupperware actually dry this morning. I think I'll splurge on the blue stuff a little more often from now on.

What a difference a couple of days makes...

Baby Bear and I went for our first walk of the season. She roamed the front yard, stopping to pet the shrubs and crocus blossoms. Our daffodils are getting taller, so in a week or so, we should have blossoms. Oh, and just because I am in the south, does not mean I will tarnish the daffodil name and call them buttercups. Buttercups are a different yellow flower, one that I used to pick near the woods down the street from my house as a little girl. While the color may be similar, daffodils are much taller and have larger blossoms.

After Baby Bear pet the green stuff, we walked two houses down before she asked to be picked up. So we returned to the house, where I put her in the stroller, and we went for a real walk. We passed 3 other moms who were out and about in the warm, sunny and fresh air. One was talking on her cell as she pushed her little girl, one was holding her 3 month old son with one arm and the dog's leash with the other, and the other was speed walking with her stroller and looked too young to be a mom. Maybe she was the babysitter.

Perhaps we can go buy some more flowers to plant this weekend. The crocus bulbs are pretty, but our yard could use more color. Anyone want to dig in the dirt for me? Just kidding, I find it rather invigorating... until I have to scrub the dirt out from underneath my nails. Even when I wear garden gloves, some dirt manages to creep in through the tiny holes and paste itself into my skin.

Here's why I rarely cook from scratch:(the white bag behind the canister fell out from the cabinet

above the stove and into the bowl, sending flour and baking soda flying everywhere.)

After I swept up this portion of the mess,
Baby Bear decided she liked the floor better covered in flour.

The end result:

Yummy Nestle-Tollhouse homemade chocolate-chip cookies.
Without nuts.

All's well that ends well!

The problem with road trips...

is that you can never do everything you want to, especially if it's just for a weekend. We've had a good time relaxing here. Hubby and Computer Guy trekked out in the snow yesterday to run a few errands, as well as window-shop at the sporting goods store. I find it funny that hubby actually window shops for his toys more often than I go clothes shopping. That's probably a good thing, though.

Anyway, other than going to church this morning, we've hung out at home. I am so thankful we have family with whom we can just relax.

Next time we head North, we'll have to plan ahead and get together with Grace's gang. That would be a fun adventure. I'd be calling her kids by their pseudonyms. The energy level would be close to nuclear, but in a good way. (Well, assuming the kiddos cooperate, of course.) Thankfully we make it up this way a few times a year, so when the weather is nice, it will be easier.

So here I sit, with crt's laptop on my lap and hubby has ours on his. The kiddos are in bed. Thankfully it sounds like Baby Bear has gone to sleep on her own. We do hear an occasional thump from one of the older girls, but that's normal around here.

she's still my baby...

It seems that lately I have been noting how big my little one is growing. She's attempting new words almost daily . (Today's word is "go!") In the past, I've mourned the fact that she typically doesn't fall asleep in my arms. The Mommy in me would love to just hold her indefinitely. While the pragmatist in me is glad she sleeps independently, a little more cuddle time is always welcome.

Our daughter was cranky when we put her down tonight. I guess I would be cranky, too, if I had to sleep in a closet. It's a large walk-in, so don't be alarmed. The pack and play fits in with room to spare, and it has an air vent and a light switch. This is not the cupboard under the stairs. My mothering instincts kicked in, and I decided to go back up stairs and try to settle her down. It was not easy, but eventually she laid down on my torso, her back to my tummy. I could feel her body relax. I had the blinds open, so the glow of the moonlight and neighborhood lights reflecting off the snow below served as a night light. Baby Bear seemed to want to go toward the light coming into the room through the cracks around the doorway, but eventually she settled down. Until Daddy came to check on us. She was glad to go to him for a few minutes though she returned to my arms pretty quickly. Eventually, both of us fell asleep on the bed, and about an hour or so later, I woke up to my little one sleeping and snoring peacefully underneath my arm. I snuck her into the closet and laid her in the pack and play, where she is sleeping soundly.

I can't say that I blame her for not settling down. She's in a small "room" that is relatively unfamiliar to her. She has been playing with her cousins all day, and loves every minute of getting into her cousins' toys, climbing on the little tikes castle, and going down the slide. And don't forget her gleeful response to chasing Jessie, the not-so-little kitty. She loves to give Jessie kisses when she catches her, and Jessie does not hiss at her like Princess or Lucy would.

Bedtimes like tonight remind me that my growing toddler is still a baby. She may be twenty-something pounds of baby, but she is not yet a little girl. The instinct to protect and care for her and to make her comfortable when she can't quite comfort herself, is one of God's greatest gifts to women. In light of recent events, I am even more grateful that she still needs her Mommy. Her Mommy needs her, too.

winter retreat...

While some might long to retreat from their winter wonderland this weekend, we have opted to retreat northward to experience true winter weather. Baby-bear slept very little on the drive up to her older cousins, and she has already had a grand time being chased by Monarch and Purple Princess, chasing Jessie (the fat cat that doesn't do anything), pushing Purple Princess' old little tikes trike, and climbing the stairs. the older girls try their hardest to keep her downstairs, but our little one is quick.

We were surprised by how far north we had to drive before we saw any snow accumulation... but the beauty of the ice on the trees and the crystals glistening on the ground was worth the wait. The interstates and main roads are clear, and even the neighborhood streets are relatively passable. I find it refreshing to experience a taste of true winter weather... and if it is going to be as cold as it has been lately, we might as well get to see the snow (and play in it, even if it's for a mere 5 minutes or less). We even saw a couple of men ice-fishing on a pond near the interstate. I haven't seen a pond that frozen since... well, definitely since before we move to TN from the MidWest when I was in high school. Perhaps Baby Bear will fall into a snow drift tomorrow (we won't let her sstay there, don't worry.)

Starting last night, Baby-bear has been around her relatives, and I am so grateful. I have fond, ye distant memories of our drives to my cousins' in PA when we were little, including our dog, Gabe playing with their dog, Sheba. (I had to be younger than 5, since Gabe was hit by a school bus when I was in Kindergarten.) Anyway, I am glad she had time with Juliana last night and this morning, and now she gets to be overwhelmed by the exuberance of her older cousins.

It looks like they're expecting more snow tonight.

DATE NIGHT!!!!!!

I cleaned a bunch today... didn't get all the laundry folded, but the kitchen floor is no longer gross, the guest bath is clean, and the counter top and bar between the kitchen and living room are essentially clear. Baby Bear probably didn't know what to think of her Mommy's cleaning frenzy. It's amazing what happens when people are coming over...

We had our symphony date tonight. The evening began at Uncle Gio's, a local Italian place. The food was yummy, and it was so nice to eat uninterrupted by a fidgety toddler. Bec, Brett, & cousin Juliana came over. Apparently Baby-Bear did pretty well, except for literally pulling her cousin out of the toddler chair. Then, apparently she acted like she wanted to get up, but she didn't want her cousin to have the chair, so she stayed put and pouted. Finally, the tossed the chair around together. Or something like that. Bec might tell the real story on her blog.

Anyway, while Juliana was sharing her Mommy and Daddy with our daughter, we enjoyed our nice, peaceful dinner. Then we headed downtown to hear the symphony
at the new Schermerhorn symphony center. Parking and shuttle were free for symphony patrons.... while the garage was technically within walking distance, the chilly night air made the shuttle even more appealing. We especially enjoyed the first half, which included classics by Beethoven and Haydn. The cellist "rocked it hard core," to quote hubby. The 2nd half was composed by Philip Glass, an American composer. While technically the music was superb, the subject matter was a bit eastern for our tastes. It helped to not read the lyrics in the program and just focus on the music. As we headed down to the complimentary coat room to pick up my coat, a familiar face was coming down the staircase above us... Nashville's mayor. I supposed the woman with him was his wife, but I haven't the slightest clue.
It was a fun, relaxing evening. Hubby did good for Valentine's this year. We were apart for the Holiday last year, so I guess he felt he had to make up for it. No complaints here. The whole experience made me glad that my musical knowledge and appreciation are (hopefully) a little better than many American's. There wasn't a bad place in the hall, and I can say that because we were seated very near the back and the sound was still good. The precision of the orchestra, the animation of the conductor, and the choir's artistry made the show. (I told hubby they had to be good musicians to sing the lyrics of the Glass composition and not laugh... and it was not a comedy. Forgive me, please. ) Oh, and one cannot forget the beauty of the building. I felt rich just being in a place like that. I felt loved by the one God has given me. I observed a very expectant Mom, and remembered how Baby Bear used to dance to the classical music I played in my office when I was pregnant with her. Hubby held the doors for me, helped me with my coat, put his arm around me... I felt cherished. While we love our daughter dearly, it was nice to have an evening for just the two of us. And I hope that in spite of their toddler tiffs, the girls will grow to be great friends.

We might be heading to Indy tomorrow... hubby is off work on Monday, and he thinks he misses the cold. And his brother, crt, and Monarch and purple Princess. (Might is actually probably misleading... we are planning on it. I just haven't started packing yet.)

Good night, Friends!

Valentine's Musings

Hubby is very patient with me in my "domestically challenged" state. Every once in a while, I come through with something that breaks my pattern of helpessness. Now, you won't catch me baking much from scratch, like my brother's wife (the Chocolate Queen). At least, not often. That's not to say I never will, but for me, as most of you who have lurked around here a while know, it's an accomplishment to cook. Period. Well, a week or so ago, Tech Mom told me about a recipe someone she works with uses for Pork Roast. I think. Maybe it was roast beef. All I remembered was that it involved Garlic and Ginger. Well guess what hubby requested for his valentine dinner? Yep, a pork roast or pork chops , marinated and cooked in the crock pot. Sara Groves shared that the best advice she received from her Mom as a newlywed was not to make her husband guess what she wanted. Set him up for success. In my 7+ years of marriage, while I would love to come up with a good surprise at some point, I have learned it's better to set myself up for success than leave hubby terribly disappointed. That wise advice works both ways.

Baby bear and I went grocery shopping this morning. Publix gave us a free red carnation "just because" it's Valentine's Day. Baby bear loved smelling her carnation, and she miraculously did not ingest any of it. The stem lasted about halfway through the store, and I was only picking up a few items there. After getting what I wanted at Publix, we headed across the street to the Neighborhood Market, a mini-version of the big superstore that everyone loathes and loves simultaneously. Except for the bold minority who manage to boycott it for philosophical reasons.

I had hoped hubby's diet dew would still be on sale at NM. It wasn't. So I kicked myself for not picking it up at Publix, since their sale price was still better than NM's everyday price. But I did not go back. Baby bear charmed the ladies in the checkout at NM, just as she had at Publix, and she fell asleep by halfway home. She is still sleeping in her crib as I type.

Anyway, I thought I would blog about my experiment, as I manage to lose recipes that I write down. I used what I remembered from Tech Mom's description, combined it with what I read in my crockery cookbook and threw in a bit of my own creativity (if ginger ale can count as my own creativity)... and now it cooks. I pray it works out, because this meal is hubby's main Valentine's gift. And I bought enough so there may even be leftovers for Baby Bear's babysitters tomorrow night, when we go out for our actual date.


Ginger Garlic Apple Pork Roast
2 1/2 -3 lb. pork roast, cut in half
2 tbs. garlic-ginger seasoning stuff that was by the diced garlic at the store, spread all over meat
ground sea salt and pepper, on both sides of the meat
1/2 yellow onion
1 lb. carrots
2 c ginger ale
1 c apple juice

Put in crock pot and let it cook! I'm doing it for 6 hours on high only because I didn't get home from the store til noon, and I don't want to wait til 8 or 10 p.m. for supper.

Serve with homemade mashed potatoes and canned creamed corn. For dessert: Duncan Hines chocolate lover's brownies with chocolate chunks in it. And maybe homemade chocolate cookies with brown and white chocolate chips, if I get around to baking them (miraculously from scratch).

That, my friends, is my Valentine's Day kitchen experiment. Hope it tastes as good as it sounds to me.

XOXOX

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY,
EVERYONE!!!

May you be blessed by the thoughts and presence of your loved ones.
May the little (or furry) ones in your life give you lots of slobbery kisses today.
May you know that somewhere in the rolling countryside of Tennessee,
this "wandering" brunette is thankful for your friendship.
May the Lord bless you and keep you!

It's beginning to look a lot like dandruff

Something caught my eye during breakfast. At first I thought it was a swarm of flies or something just outside the back door. A second later, I realized it was snow flurries. I'll take snow flurries over the cold, gross, bone-chilling rain that we had all day yesterday. I could not bring myself to bundle baby bear and go out in it... so it looks like we'll be facing the flurries today. They are so light that the roads barely have the pretty swirls, and you can only see the snow on the ground if you look closely between the blades of grass (or clumps of weeds, in our case).

Roadblock: laziness

Bulldozer: Just do It

Must do this week:
laundry- put away!
change guest room sheets
mop kitchen
clean bathrooms
clean science projects out of fridge
decide on a valentine's meal

There's more, but I'll start with these.

one BIG thing crossed of the list

OUR TAXES ARE DONE!!! WOO HOO!

It took us about 3 hours tonight, but all's well that ends well!

Has anyone else ever thought of inviting someone to join you at a special event when it's already too late? That happened to me today. I thought of three people in particular who might possibly have been able to come, as they would not have to take off work or fly on an airplane to get here. Unfortunately, I thought of them while I was sitting at the registration table helping other moms find their name tags for the monthly Mom's HEART(Hearing Encouragement and Rejoicing Together) meeting at our church. This meeting usually consists of brunch, a speaker or two, door prizes, and a discussion group with your table at the end. We're assigned to the same table every month to help us get to know one another a little better by the end of the "year" (May).

I had heard of the key speaker. I had heard some of her songs on the radio, and knew I liked them. But I had not realized how much I would like the rest of her music... until today. The petite brunette with the Minnesota accent and adorable pregnant belly fit right into the room full of Moms, most of whom have pre-schoolers. She shared from her heart, and I'm sure all of us teared up at one point or another, if not bawled. I had heard her sing an offertory during a worship service at our church a few months back, and it turns out that she toured with the husband of one of the Mom's HEART coordinators. I know we are blessed to be in Music City, but still...

I don't know how I've made it this long without buying one of Sara Groves' albums. I am sorry I didn't think to invite any of you. While I know most could not have made it anyway.... I'm still sorry. Her songs were about real life... relationships, parenting, God... she is a very gifted songwriter and musician. One thing she shared that touched me the most was that she is learning to not look back at the specific moments (especially of struggles/perceived failures) as a mom, but to look at the patterns of how she spends time with her kids, etc... She has already learned that looking back on the big picture can be a lot more encouraging to her. Or something of the sort. That's some of what I got from it, anyway.

I'm going to try to catch up on some things around the house this week, so I may ground myself from blogger... although we all know how well that worked last time around.

i couldn't link to the meme on olive tree, so i did this one instead:

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced. Overall, your true self is passive and thoughtful. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem sad and helpless.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

i think it's almost frighteningly accurate.

once upon a time, fuzzy socks were a luxury i did not think i cared about. raised in an uber-frugal home, there were far more important things on which to spend my parents' money, and later on, my own. well, last year i received a pair of fuzzy slipper socks for Christmas. i fell in love. nothing quite compares to the feeling of soft chenille on your winter-parched feet. this Christmas, i found some on sale. i purchased 2 pair for gifts, and one for myself, in nice, simple black. so inconspicuos that casual observers will not notice that such luxury is included in my casual outfit. (unless they have a foot fetish, God help them.) the last time i went to the gym, i stopped by fashion bug and found the pair pictured above... on sale, of course. there were some bright, sanguine socks in the clearance basket, and then this pair: understatedly funky.... casually cozy.... yeah, something along those lines. worth the money...

this picture shows my feet doing what i've felt like doing all week. and except for a few loads of laundry and meals, this is pretty much all they have done. perhaps i'll make it back to the gym tomorrow.... and while i'm at it, maybe i'll go next door to see if there are any other fuzzy socks on clearance. i may even cut hubby's hair this weekend, as he is about to die from his shag, so he thinks. (me thinks thou art a wee bit melodramatic when it comest to thy shaven locks, my beloved. thy shag is yet shorter than the fuzz on these socks.)

seeing baby mac was not as hard as i expected it to be tonight. it was good to see my friend looking so good, and his proud big sisters were beaming. and when we ate our pot pie, it tasted good, so i hope our friends liked theirs', too.

my chicken pot pies are in the oven. one is for some friends who have a 2 1/2 week old baby boy at home, to be delivered fresh for dinner tonight. they'll get a chocolate fudge cake, too. those of you who know me in person or have been around here a while know i am not exactly a "from-scratch" chef. like crt, who introduced me to pre-made refrigerated pie crusts, i believe they are a mom's best friend. well, last time i used the roll-out crusts, i failed to read the instructions, and tried to unroll them before they were warm enough. disaster. the pies were ugly, though they still tasted good. today, i managed to unroll both top crusts without any tears or creases... if i don't burn them in the oven, i might even take pictures and post them later if anyone needs proof. i have found that the key to yummy pot pies is to simmer the filling longer than the recipe calls for. the flavors need time to blend together. what the recipe says should take 15-20 minutes takes me an hour, minimum. when i cook, i would rather take my time and enjoy the process and the end result than rush and appreciate neither.

hubby received word that he passed his tests and will soon be certified to help in the fight against fraud. i'm very proud of him! i might just have to use that other cake mix to make him a chocolate fudge cake, too. i was saving it for valentine's, but we can celebrate a week early!! besides, we already have root beer in the fridge, and everyone knows that chocolate cake and root beer are great for breakfast. (that's a family "secret" that will be passed down along with the "velveeta and sliced fake american cheese is from the devil" theory, if hubby has anything to do with it.)

the past week has prompted a lot of reflection, introspection, and judgement. it has confirmed my pro-life stance, and challenged me to pray for people who see nothing wrong with premature elective termination of human life.

i think i knew deep down what had happened by last tuesday, but i could not resign myself to accept it until yesterday's blood test confirmed my fears. last sunday night, before i went in to see my ob before the infamous ultrasound, i felt my heavenly father wrap his arms around me. ok, maybe it was the holy spirit. actually, since i believe the father, son and spirit are one, that equates to one extra big hug.

i wonder how i will refer to our baby we did not get to meet... will i say "i have one daughter on earth, and one child in heaven?" probably not... that's a lot of explaining that i would feel the need to share.... and this is not the topic of a casual introductory conversation.

women have come out of the woodwork and cyberspace to tell me they've been in a similar place. it's comforting, though in a sense it makes me mourn for them as well as my own loss. it was so early... but our baby was being formed. our child lived inside me, depended on my body, even if for a brief time. his or her days were numbered, for whatever reason (God knows). i have to believe that letting go now is easier than saying goodbye later.

this whole situation is very surreal, but right now, although i can't say i am happy with the answer, i am glad to have one. i've held baby bear tighter today. her sloppy kisses have made me laugh more deeply. she will be a great big sister someday, Lord willing. but not yet. for a little while longer, she has mommy and daddy to herself. at 4:00 this morning, when she woke up and needed mommy, i got her and brought her into our bed. she actually settled down enough for us to get some sleep, something rare as she normally prefers her own space as much as we prefer ours. by the time her daddy left for work, she was out soundly (sprawled all over his side of the bed, of course.)

life goes on... and one life will not be forgotten.

pray for crt's mom. she's in the hospital due to severe abdominal pain. the x-rays showed a cyst.

and my brother in law, brett, who is stuck in the snow in ohio, trying to make it back home to tennessee. pray that he AND the new/used vehicle he is driving home make it safely.

news

My hcg level is down to 1. God took my baby early on, I have to trust that He knows best. I guess it's time to move on with life....

Does anyone else remember having to "map" stories or thought processes in their high school English class? Well, my brain tends to function like one of those abstract spider-web maps. I will think or talk about one thing, and the next thing I know, I am reminded of something that appears totally unrelated. If one listens carefully they may or may not catch how I "wander" from one thought to another.

Running into that old friend from college a couple of days ago reminded me of our trip to Puebla, Mexico. One evening on that trip, our group ate at VIP's, a chain restaurant which also had a gift shop and bookstore attached. It was a tourist-oriented restaurant, and many of the books were in English. As I turned the pages of one book in that store, my eyes landed on a familiar sight. The book contained photographs of historic sites throughout the United States, and as I stared at a picture of what appeared to be an old store, it hit me... I had been there. Not just once, but several times. There, as a college student who was travelling in another country, summer vacations from my childhood flashed across the chalkboard of my mind.

I remembered stepping out the front door of my aunt and uncle's Cape house, beginning our walk to the Brewster Store. Many days, the walk seemed to take forever. We passed other cottages and homes, the smell of the bay following us inland. Once we reached Main Street, Rte 6A, we passed several bed and breakfasts. Finally, what seemed like an eternity later, we would reach the store. The highlight of our visits was buying penny candy. Fireballs, rock candy, salt-water-taffy... I felt like I was Laura Ingalls Wilder going into town. Stepping into the Brewster Store was travelling back to a bygone era.

I didn't purchase the book that day. I left it in the store in Puebla, Mexico While it was a touching coincidence, I knew I would rather take a photo of the store myself someday. It had been years since I had last stepped foot in that quaint shop. In fact, as my family drove from Michigan to Cape Cod, I had probably made it very clear that I would prefer taking a vacation to somewhere "fun", like Disney World or Cedar Point. How I took those "simple" family vacations for granted!

If you would like to step back in time, pay a visit to the little white general store with benches our front. Pick up some penny candy, and be sure to save some for your bicycle ride on the rail trail, day at Coast Guard or Nauset Beach, or a nature hike through the salt marshes. And if you're really brave and don't mind fielding questions from the young ones if they see two people of the same gender holding hands, it is worth the drive from Brewster to Provincetown to catch a whale-watching excursion into the Atlantic. Just don't feed fireballs (or anything else that might have survived the drive) to the whales.

Funny how one dinner out can bring back a lobster trap full of memories.

going for the bloodtest this morning... hopefully the roller coaster will stop soon.

just put baby bear down for a quick nap before we head out... i really hate to tote her out in the cold. i guess it's a good thing we aren't further north.

oh, we've had quite an interesting start to the morning. just after the tub finished draining, i smelled something not so nice coming from the tub. funny, bath time was supposed to make her smell better.... yep, she did her thing, squatting like a puppy would, right there.... i scooped the poop, plopped it in the big potty, and told her to tell me before it comes out next time. as if she'll listen (she can't really talk yet). she giggled as i flushed the toilet. at least they weren't floaties, and her butt was reasonably clean. don't you experienced moms miss days like this? at least we "shouldn't" have a stinky diaper while we're out and about.

gotta go get ready to run errands...

****
3:58 CST:
just got a call from the nurse... the results will be back in the morning, before noon... the lab must be swamped or something. that's what i get for waiting til late morning to go in, i guess. baby bear and i got plumb tuckered out (yes i just wrote that) by the time all was said and done. after having my blood drawn, we went to costco, picked up a prescription, chocolate cake mix, and a couple of baby gifts for friends. met little sis and baby bear's younger cousin at the mall, where we were joined by my mom. mom treated us to lunch (chicken teriyaki), and then the girls played in the new kids' area they put in on the lower level when they did the big remodel. baby bear loved it... unfortunately she and cuz don't really play together yet, but both seemed to have a good time! the girls are getting so big!

thanks for all your prayers... i am feeling a little... indifferent, for lack of a better word. my hopes have been up and down so much this past week that i really just want to know something conclusive. i have my suspicions, but they really don't mean much right now.

today's good things list...

snowflakes falling softly on the drive to church (i had to copy Steph on this one)
comforting words and hugs from friends who've been "there"
my happy toddler clapping to the music during the worship service at church
sharing the sacrament of communion- reflecting on Christ's love for us
long sunday afternoon nap- me and hubby in bed, baby bear in her crib
superbowl party with friends- boys watching on the big tv, the toddlers chasing the "big kids" up the stairs with glee, homemade chili, baby bear giggling with glee as the black lab's tail whips her in the face, hanging out with the other moms, hardly paying attention to the game (colts won, right?)

thanks for the inspiration, Stephanie!

blast from the past

we went out for steak tonight. we had a gift card left from christmas, and i didn't want to cook. no shock there. well, about 2/3 of the way through our meal, baby bear became restless. it was time to take turns eating. i finished my plate while hubby held our squirmy worm in his lap. by the time she got to my lap, she was ready to explore. the fireplace caught her eye, so we walked over that way. i felt a tap on my shoulder. "lauren?"

one of the waiters stood right next to us. he was an old friend from college. freshman year, he and his girlfriend would hang out in the freshman girls' dorm lobby and talk. when i was a RA, he was one of our front desk workers, and had the task of calling me to let in locked out residents at 3 a.m. on several occasions. he was an elementary education major, and always seemed like he would be a great teacher. our college lives had intersected through our activities and jobs, and though we were not close per se, i had considered him a friend. we went on mission trips together, including one to mexico in which we acted out parables as clowns in various parks over spring break. i returned home from that trip blowing volcanic ash out my nose for at least a week because popocateptl was a little bit active maybe 30 miles away from where we were. we talked about people from school that we'd kept in touch with, the usual things you talk about with someone you have not seen in a while and don't even know where to begin. especially when they are at work.

the really funny thing was that this afternoon, as baby bear watched a "wiggles" preview on a video, i thought of him. i guess it was the thin guy with dark hair, and the fact that the lead wiggle was an education major. while i can't picture this guy dancing on stage with the wiggles, something about them reminded me of him. i remember thinking, " i wonder what happened to so and so?" for a brief moment.

so there we were in the middle of a loud restaurant, me chasing my little girl, and this person that had crossed my mind appeared. this friend had known me when i had wondered when and if God would ever send Mr. Right my way. he had seen me at my best and close-to-worst in college, because lets face it- RA's give up caring about how we look late at night really quickly. I gave him a quick hug, reintroduced him to hubby, who he had probably met previously in passing, but did not go to college with us. of course, he met baby bear.

about 8 years after I had last seen this person, i was reminded of my life's seasons past. they were good, but the present, with its welcome surprises as well as challenges, makes me look forward to the future.

baby bear stole my water jug...

she finished her juice from her sippy, and has decided that i brought my big huge cup that the hospital gave me after she was born upstairs for her. i sense a very wet diaper in the near future.

impatience...

i called the ob's office to see if i could just have my pcp do the follow-up blood test while we were there yesterday, and fax them the results... the ob wasn't in yet, but her nurse said she was pretty sure she wanted to test the hcg levels at a week's difference... que sera, sera... so i wait til monday... impatiently...

because of the "snow"...

hubby moved the carseat to the "beater". (the one with with 102K miles on it that has been involved in 3 wrecks. i call it my idiot magnet, although i must admit that one of the wrecks was my own fault.) he didn't want the salt and crud accumulating on the good car. who cares if we get hit by some moron who can't drive on wet roads, and we all die? as long as the good car is ok...

thankfully, by the time we got on the roads, they were fine, other than wet and salty, as hubby predicted... the carseat remains in the old car for the rest of the weekend. the newer vehicle will remain safely in the garage until next week, when it is sure to pick up some remaining salt and crud off the roads when i take it out for whatever errand needs to be run.

am i the only one who finds this situation a tad comical?

What a difference a week makes...A few crocus bloomed last Friday...

.. and this is what we awoke to this morning.

I had to laugh at the weather forcasters this morning. The night before last, they had predicted 2-4 inches of snow in some places. We had a slight dusting. Last night, they said some places might have up to an inch in accumulation, as though the chance was slim. Yeah, weather forecasting is an exact science... I'll believe that one.

Schools were closed today. The roads were fine by the time we took baby bear to the doctor for her well baby check.

I just received this via e-mail... thought it was worth sharing...

JUST A MOM?

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office
Was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.


"What I mean is," explained the recorder,
"do you have a job or are you just a......?"

"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman.


"I'm a Mom."

"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,"
Said the recorder emphatically.


I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the
Same situation, this time at our own T own Hall.

The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
Efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like,
"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."


"What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it?
I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
"I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations."

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
Looked up as though she had not heard right.


I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. ;
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
In bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest,
"just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
"I have a continuing program of research,
[what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family)
And already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
Completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
Testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than
"just another Mom." Motherhood!

What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.


Does this make grandmothers
"Senior Research associates in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations"
And great grandmothers
"Executive Senior Research Associates"?
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts
"Associate Research Assistants".

IF

by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

(Thanks, Camille)

just. can't. sleep. (might be tmi...)

i don't want to get my hopes up. but honestly, if all my periods were like this, i would have nothing to complain about. which totally does not make sense to me if i am truly experiencing a miscarriage. today, or yesterday, the bleeding slowed to spotting. and even at it's heaviest a couple of days ago, whatever this is that i am experiencing was still light compared to my normal flow. cramping has been very rare... no need for pain meds, that's how light any cramping has been. on monday, i had convinced myself i had taken 4 false positives. yes, i know that's unlikely. when we saw nothing on the ultrasound, the doctor did say it could be possible that it's too early to detect anything... and then the blood tests came back.. barely positive. barely pregnant.

so the question is, am i still? do i have the beginning form of a baby developing inside me? is there a reason to hope? yes, i realize that a pregnancy could interfere with beach vacation plans, especially one with complications. i think the family would forgive me if that were to happen. i know if caslon turned up pregnant and had to stay home, as much as i would miss her and photo guy, we would be ecstatic to have another niece or a nephew on the way. or crt for that matter. tech mom... now that would be a medical impossibility to my understanding, i think we'd all be a little worried.

anyway, i may be crazy but i have gone ahead and added a pregnancy label here in blogger. God is bigger than i. He knows what is going on inside my body, even when the doctors and i do not. and while staying off my feet seems to be helping my symptoms (reducing bleeding), and cramps are minimal if at all, i can't give up hope just yet. next monday, i may find out the hcg levels have dropped, but since there were hcg levels to be measured, and if this is a miscarriage can i please have it this easy during my normal periods?... i can't give up hope. with God, there is always reason to hope. His Son conquered death so that we might know Him personally. that is eternal Hope.

i can pray. i will pray that regardless of the outcome, God will give me peace. because if i find out i have truly lost or am in the process of losing a baby, i will tend to be heartbroken. even if it's not exactly planned, when you're not doing anything to avoid getting pregnant, it means you are ready to love a child if God so chooses to send one. at least, that's what it means for me.
i will also pray that if my cycle is just really weird and we have a tiny baby, God will protect our child. i pray that all this insanity will end, that my body will do whatever it needs to to protect this new life, and that my next blood test will give us hope. i've done a little research, and it looks like it's normal for hcg levels to be tested within 72 hours... i suppose my doctor wants to wait a week because that will really tell us if the numbers are truly going up or down. so, i wait.

in the meantime, the insomnia continues. i woke up to pee and cannot get back to sleep. so i've taken the laptop upstairs where i will not disturb my beloved. i've turned the heat back up to a level that is comfortable with blankets. i will not allow the disappointment of early morning darkness (versus that glow that occurs when weather forecasters are correct and we actually get a covering of snow) to take away my hope. after this insomnia passes, perhaps i will awaken to a soft covering of snow.

bad mom


baby bear guzzled her white grape juice(diluted) in about 3 minutes, so i refilled her sippy cup with water. i just laughed when she threw it on the floor upon realizing that it was not filled with the same thing. if she's thirsty enough, she'll drink the water.

now she seems to be trying to open the new packs of suppies that i picked up on clearance for her cousins, as if they will have juice in them. poor, delusioned child.

update

baby bear took a bath while i got the pot roast into the crock pot. (i can see the bathtub from the kitchen- it's terrific!) she had spit up a bunch of milk on herself, so i figured both of us would be happier if she got a bath.

now she's roaming around, playing in just a diaper. gotta let a baby be a baby. and she is still a baby, after all. she would make a great huggies commercial right now. i have the heat set a little higher than normal so she won't be too cold. i was not up to wrestling her, and a little almost nakey time never hurt a kid.

i'm on the coach, still in my pj's with my feet propped up. the radio is on, and the last 2 songs have been encouraging.

my emotions/feelings keep fluctuating; the symptoms of miscarriage seem stronger than the symptoms of pregnancy... but it's a new experience, and part of me wants to hold onto hope that everything is ok. so i will rest, just in case...

there's an 80% chance of snow tomorrow. we have stocked up (we were almost out of groceries anyway... we were out of milk and juice. that's bad.), as the south shuts down for the mere threat half the time, and even 2 inches can incapacitate, especially if there is ice involved. it's been cold here... in the single digits with the wind chill, so i can only imagine what some of you have to deal with right now. however, the sky has been clear... winter clear, and even though it's been windy, the crisp cool air is refreshing for a moment. there are times i miss having distinct seasons. you can bet i'll post pics if we actually get snow. however, half the time it goes just around us when it is forecast, or warms up enough to make it a gross wet mix... at least we had a beautiful sunset over the western hills last night.

In case anyone else wants to know about HCG levels...

The roller coaster continues.

Right now, i don't know what to think. My doctor called, and the blood test was barely positive, with an HCG level of 35. She said to expect it is probably a very early miscarriage, and to have another blood test taken next Monday. She didn't say anything about bedrest or anything, but I guess I will try to take it easy just in case...

So I guess that means the Dollar Tree tests were reliable and not false... and I was probably less than 7 week pregnant after all.

Please pray for me and this baby that I may still be carrying... I am trusting that God will do what is best. If that means taking the baby this early, as it appears is happening, I have to believe that it is because something was seriously wrong... or maybe we will have a big miracle. My bleeding is continuing and beginning to feel more like my normal period, so I'm not getting my hopes up.

Thank you all for your prayers. They mean so much to us.

i thought i had patience...

until i received 3 phone calls in a row from concerned friends wondering what i've heard... i'm assuming no news is good news, as in nothing is "wrong" per se. early pregnancy would be good news, but so would confirmation of no miscarriage or irregular bloodwork of any capacity. after the melanoma scare i had a few years ago, i tend to think of cancer possibilities when things seem abnormal.

one of the friends who called is a new daddy to a little boy they're calling "mac". (new, as in born last week.) they apparently had several false positive tests, too... who knew? anyway, his wife, their new son, and their 2 daughters are doing great. it's comforting to know that if they are false positives, i am not the only one who has had them!

truck drivers (& companies) do not own the road, but they think they do

I am thankful that my sis and her family were ok after a truck edged into them in their lane. I am also thankful that the hundreds of times my husband stood on the shoulder of an interstate and helped motorists or wrote tickets, he did not get killed by a semi driver. I know there are many good drivers out there, but unfortunately there also many lunatics that forget the vehicles they are driving cannot be driven like 4-cylinder chevette's or V-8 sports cars, for that matter. or else they are irresponsibly driving too many hours after not getting enough rest... and then they try to claim "no fault" when they look away or reach for their coffee for a second... and some under-paid state trooper actually bought whatever story the truck driver gave him, if the report is saying "no fault."

pray that at the very least, their insurance doesn't go up... at best, that the truck driver's insurance company gets off whatever high horse they think they're on...

4 positive tests can't be wrong, can they?

maybe so! urine test at doc's office was negative, and she didn't find a sack in the ultrasound.. so i'm either really early with implantation bleeding or not pregnant at all (starting VERY late). at least there was nothing negative on the ultrasound, as in no bad stuff. i should get the results from the blood test this afternoon. (the doc's office is right next to the hospital so they run the tests over there instead of having their own lab in house). my cell phone is charging downstairs, it's a little tired out right now.

lessons learned 1) when you retest after getting a positive home test, buy a different brand for comparison. 2) don't believe a positive is a positive til you have the doctor's word... even if it has been almost 7 weeks since your last period and you've been relatively regular since your baby was born.

hopefully we'll find out for sure this afternoon, but right now it's looking like a false alarm... but i'd rather have nothing be wrong (other than a whacked-out cycle) than have lost a little one.... i'll let y'all know when I hear the blood test results...
*****

after i got home from picking up baby bear, gina called... 2 1/2 year old pixie saw us drive away and thought i stole her grandparents' suv! (we have the same color and model of vehicle.)

waiting..

baby bear is munching on shredded colby-jack and mixed veggies, with a big sippy cup full of milk. she remains pantless, i hope to finish dressing her before dropping her off at gina's on my way to meet hubby.

i've rested as much as i can today, nothing is really new.... yet. i am surprsingly at peace with the whole situation, at least us much as i can be. why cause my body any more stress than it's apparently already under?

i just have to add that i feel sad for people who don't have good in-laws. tech mom kept her word and kept the secret for us, she didn't even tell dad. so the rest of the family was a tad bit surprised (maybe more than a tad) by e-mails and blog posts, but i just couldn't tell everyone in person. i was hoping to come up with a creative way to announce the news around valentine's day, or at least with a valentine theme before then. guess that won't be necessary.

other than crazy hair and refusing to wear pants, baby bear has been a doll today. she even napped for almost 2 hours this morning... pray that she'll be in a good mood for Gina, who has a pixie and peanut of her own.

update...

doctor's appt. scheduled for 1:20 so hubby can come. i figure that a few hours will not make a big difference. in the meantime, i'm trying to stay off my feet, drink lots of water, etc... symptoms are heavier but do seem to be fluctuating and are not quite as heavy as my normal period (i am not one of the lucky ones who has light, 3 day periods and gets the rest of the month to relax). if this is tmi, get over it. reality isn't always pleasant.

thank you for your prayers!!!!!!

warning: personal, may require tissues

i didn't want to post about this until i had spoken with my parents and hubby's parents. for those of you who are family, i'm sorry i'm not sharing in person or on the phone, but typing is easier than talking right now. i tried to talk about it with someone last night and couldn't without crying, so i'm not going to bother trying right now. i had to have hubby tell his mom, and while i made it through the conversation with my mom ok, it wasn't easy.

anyway, last weekend i took a couple of home pregnancy tests. they had very slight lines on them, so i didn't know what to think. i wanted an expert opinion... lo and behold, we were at tech mom's house. so i had her take a look at them , since she reads tests like this for a living, sort of.... she said they looked + but give it a week or so and test again... we tried not to be too excited, of course, but we were. i even asked baby bear what she would think if mommy has a baby in her belly, and she started poking my belly button and kissed my tummy. (she likes tummies anyway, i'm not sure she really understood the question.)

this week, i started experiencing nausea and my gag reflex kicked in a few times, more than it usually does. i was beginning to trust the tests. i called my doctor and made an appointment for next week, to go in and confirm. i was due for my annual check-up anyway, so the timing was perfect. when the secretary made the appointment, of course she asked all the standard questions when i told her it might be more than just a regular exam... i told her the date of my last cycle, and about the tests. she changed the slot to a first OB check-up just in case.

yesterday morning, i took another test.... positive. darker line than the previous two. my hopes were up by this point. hubby and i had accepted that even though we didn't feel ready for another child financially, we know God is in control. children are gifts, and quite honestly, i don't feel like i should try to control whether or not we have them right now, especially since we know we would like baby bear to have siblings at some point.

God is in control. that's what I'm clinging to right now. i started bleeding last night. just a little. this morning, it's increased. if the tests were truly positive, things aren't looking good right now. i will call my doctor's office first thing tomorrow, see about changing my appointment to earlier in the week. preferably, tomorrow. according to the calendar, if there is or was a baby, he or she should be 6 1/2 weeks along right now. the size of a lentil bean. the heart would be developing, and limbs would be in their early flap formations. my cycle is irregular, so that's speculative. there is the possibility that my hopes were up foolishly, and my body is just being more irregular than normal. except for four darn tests i've taken at home that implied it was more than my imagination...

thank you for your prayers, loved ones (and strangers who may happen across this post). i'm not really in a chatting mood right now, so forgive me if i lurk unannounced on your blogs.

p.s. it's hard to have too much of a pity party when your 15-month old is bouncing on her cute little behind to Big Bird and the gang singing their ABC's. she is the cutest.

unspoken...

to vaguely play off one of jaci velsquez' songs, i've gotta leave my heart unspoken on here right now. we're watching "the devil wear's prada", hopefully it will take my mind off what's nagging at me. thankfully it's not unspoken to Him.

i wanted to go to the library today. drove there, and it was closed. there was a freaky looking man sitting in his car next to the gate next to the playground, so i opted not to get out and let baby bear play anyway. it looks like a nice playground, so maybe we'll go back on a day the library is open and other people are around.

so, we went to babies r' us to browse. i set a baby bjorn potty chair on the ground, baby bear clung to my leg as though to say ,"i'm not getting on that thing." she did climb on a step stool, kind of laying across it with her belly. then she zoomed over to the jump-a-roos and started playing with the toys on them. nothing jumped out at me from the clearance racks... there were some cute shoes, but nothing major, so i actually did not buy anything there. in the toy debt., baby bear liked the leapfrog telephonics toy. i checked the vowel sounds, and that particular toy actually does say both the long and short vowel sounds. her alphabet bus only says the short sounds. she also liked this little ball that is plastic/rubbery and kind of has honeycomb holes that she can grab. it was way overpriced for a little plastic. she was not happy about letting go of it, but she recovered quickly. when we got out to the car, a boy and his mom were in the car next to us with an adorable black teacup poodle. baby bear saw the dog and started pointing and smiling. the lady rolled down her window, and it turned out she'd put a premie sized onesie on the pup, and purchased a set of bows and headbands for it. my baby girl doesn't really even wear hair bows! she just tears them out. what really cracked me up was when the boy, who seemed like any normal 4 or 5 year old boy said, "isn't she cute?!?"

final stop, the dollar store . the learn and groove music table that we bought baby bear for Christmas sucks the life out of batteries. i had read the reviews before Christmas, and did not find any major issues. i read them again this week, and found another couple of people with the same comment. why it only takes 3 AA's with all the little things it plays and lights up is beyond me. the replacement batteries did the trick, so i guess we will not be taking it back. i'll just try to remember to turn the darn thing off when baby bear is not playing with it to help make the batteries last longer than 3 weeks. while we were there, baby bear picked out a blue bouncey ball with tigger on it. her choices were: ariel, pooh, and belle. i wonder if she would have picked spider man if i had let that be an option. she also wanted a bag of trail mix, but of course that got vetoed by mommy. why pay $4 for 4 batteries when you can buy them for $1? gotta see how much the big packs are at costco, though... they just might be worth it.

when we arrived home, the sun was shining brightly, so even though it was cool, it was actually warm enough for us to play outside for a few minutes. 3 of the crocus bulbs have bloomed (in various locations... 1 under the birch tree and 2 in the flower bed), and there are more on their way. it looks like the tips of some daffodils are peeking up out of the ground, too. hopefully more will come in a couple of months... i'm thrilled with the crocuses, even though january seems a little early for bulbs to bloom. they brighten the bleakness of the season. so far the deep yellow with purple centers seem to be the early risers. crocus bulbs are relatively cheap and apparently not as well liked by bulb-eating rodents. many of the daffs have failed to come up, but the crocuses seem to be propogating quite nicely. i think this is year 3.

i talked to my friend Chatterbox today. we spoke for an hour, which is very easy to do with her. it was good to finally catch up, we had not spoken since before Christmas. she lives about an hour south of here, practically to alabama, southeast of where zann & farmwife's family lives, if i remember correctly. a few months ago, her family was in a bad car wreck. her right foot was basically crushed. well, a 2nd surgery is scheduled for next friday, 2/2. pray that this one goes better than the first. she has a little girl who is just 11 days older than baby bear, and not having full function of her foot is a pain. she hops around all day, so i'm sure her other leg is really strong.

that's my book for the day. baby bear is napping, hubby is home early after going in early, and tonight will be taco night.

Farmwife Inspired me to do this blogthing.... Dark Purple

To others, you seem a bit dark, mysterious, and moody. In truth, you are just a very unique person who doesn't care what others think. And you really enjoy your offbeat interests and friends. You've decided that life is about living for yourself - simple as that.

What Color Purple Are You?

*****
I have to tag Caslon & Becca on this one, because they used to have purple bedrooms.
Anyone else who wants to, tell us what color purple you are!

hear ye, hear ye!

tech mom, caslon, and crt have broken their silence on their blogs this week!

one of those days

not bad, really... except for having to clean baby bear's torpedoes out of the bath tub for the 2nd time in a week. i'm thinkin' potty training sounds very good... if it works, of course. i don't want it to be the beginning of a 2 year struggle by starting too early. there are some people that call early potty training effication communication, or EC... right now that sounds a little bit crazy. except when it's time to clean torpedoes out of the tub again.

it's been one of those days when mommy just didn't want to do much besides play with baby bear. baby bear got two baths... mommy's still in her satin pj pant/shirt set that she got for christmas. it's one of those days when i just don't feel like using capital letters. one of those days when cooking means crock pot italian pork chops, baked sweet potato, and sauteed spinach... and it turns out pretty close to perfect. hubby scarfs down his pork chops and sweet potatoes, then he oh-so-generously shares his spinach with baby bear, who claims mommy has not fed her at all. when the laundry stays in the laundry basket in the middle of the living room. oh, and when verifying an annual appointment counts as accomplishing something.

yep, it's been one of those days. and i liked it!

smokin' the pipe

uh, not really. hubby just took a breathing treatment. he asked if i knew if his sister is able to handle them... his heart is now racing. that's what happens to me when i take them, too, but they usually do the trick. he really wants to get rid of his cough, and is hoping this will work. (all of us feel better except for his lingering cough.)

multi-tasking, anyone?

i, unlinke my sisters-in-law and younger sister, do not typically multi-task well. my mom refers to herself as one-at-a-time wendy, and i inherited that trait. however, i also try not to let that stop me... too much.

baby-bear's lunchtime attempt to feed herself strawberry applesauce with a spoon resulted in a little mess. consequently, she needed a bath. while she played in the tub, i cleaned the mirror, sink, counter, and toilet. she found the mirror cleaning and toilet scrubbing quite amusing. she also figured out how to blow bubbles in the bathwater as she lay on her tummy. i've been waiting for that to happen. i haven't bothered showing her because i figured she would discover it in her own time.

later, i took care of the mirrors, counter, and toilet in the other bathroom. she was not happy when i shut her out of the bathroom so i could scrub the toilet without her getting her hands anywhere nearby. i could have sworn she said "open!" as she banged on the door from the bedroom, but i was probably imagining things. maybe i should have just set her in the dry tub so she wouldn't hang from my legs as i tried to clean the rest....

Snapshots from the wedding....

the happy couple- GuapoCop & PT

World's Best Teacher, Air Traffic Chica, Catgirl, Me, Hubby

I'm not going to tag anyone this time... but if you want to do it on your blog, go for it. Or just put your results in my comments. There's no shock in the percentages here...

Your Brain is 87% Female, 13% Male

You have the brain of a girly girl Which isn't a bad thing at all You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions. You're a good friend and give great advice.

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Isaiah 40:28-31 (NASB)

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
the Everlasting God, the Lord,
the Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.

He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power.

Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,

Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.

Register to win $50 in Usborne books through my friend Sandy's site! No purchase is necessary, and a new drawing is held every month.

Pray for Kari

I heard about this situation through my wanderings in the blogosphere...
seriously... read and pray... kari is a mom with 2 daughters who is battling cancer. Her husband is changing jobs, so they have to go on cobra for helath insurance, which everyone no is hideously expensive, but better than nothing....

Using that gym membership...

weighed in tonight. I'm holding steady, which I guess is ok considering it's been a couple of weeks since I exercised. 3 more months to lose my pooch, 3 months after that to keep it off so i can wear a swimsuit and not be quite so self-conscious.

After using the exercise bike, I went next door to Fashion Bug and hit the clearance rack... I love extra 40% off sales!

It's cookie tag!

You Are a Jam Cookie

On the outside, you project a straight-laced, innocent vibe. But on the inside, you're complex, exotic, and full of flavor.

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

Funny thing is these are not my favorite cookies... I guess that means I'm not into self-mutilation.

I'm tagging Tech Mom, Becca, Zann, Ian's Master, Sunny & Stephanie this time around. Click on the link under the picture to take the quiz, then copy and paste the code into a new post. Oh, and don't forget to tag someone else to keep the fun going!!!

sacred union & party time

PT & GuapoCop's wedding was beautiful. This was the first Orthodox wedding I've been to. I'm not going to get into theological differences here, because that would spoil the point of the weekend. The ceremony was one of the most beautiful and sacred wedding ceremonies I have seen, and quite different than most I have attended. Very traditional in the Othrodox customs, including the "chamber chorus" accompanying the ceremony from the church balcony. I may post the text from the program so you all can read about the meaningful traditions they incorporated. The chorus singing the Lord's prayer was the most beautiful rendition I have ever heard. GuapoCop is one of 11 kids, and several of PT's relatives came up from their distant homes, and both families seemed to love getting to know eachother. PT had said the reception would be simple: cake, punch, nuts, maybe sandwiches. Well, her Mom is a terrific cook of Italian heritage. She compiled two binders of her recipes and typed them out for her daughter as a shower gift. When we were in college, we would drive over to their house for a weekend, and she would feed us well. So while PT said the reception would be simple, I knew her Mom would go above and beyond PT's expectations... and I was right. Scrumptious finger foods, dips, etc... champagne punch and regular punch. Her mother takes great joy in serving her loved ones, cooking is one of her love languages.

At the wedding, we noticed that the mothers of the bride and groom stand about the same height... under 5 feet tall. PT is also petite, though not quite so short, and her hubby is not huge, they compliment eachother so well. They are petite, spunky women who love their families passionately. The church family was also very welcoming, and I loved being able to put faces with names I have so often heard PT talk about. It was a fairly small wedding, mostly family, close friends and closest coworkers, and everyone was obviously there to celebrate the bride and groom as they begin their life together.

We were honored to be invited to the post-reception party at the home of GuapoCop's brother. It was there that we truly felt the Hispanic warmth and love of fun. Hubby and I grew up in very conservative homes (dancing was /is practically a sin to some family members on his side), and GuapoCop's relatives were eager to try to teach us to salsa and meringue. Hubby was a good sport, considering how he's felt this week. I dragged him onto the dance floor (the middle of the living room, couches and chairs pushed to the sides), and told him it's the first time in 8 1/2 years we've really been in a place we could dance together, and he really did his best to humor me. There's just somethin' about the Latin beat that brings out the hidden free spirit in me. I tripped on my boot heels a few times, as I have "dos pies izquierdas" (two left feet)... GuapoCop's relatives laughed when I said that in Spanish... they thought I was just kidding, until I actually did wipe out. I am a KLUTZ, combined with new boots with heels... bad combo... I never outgrew the 12 year old clumsy stage. (There's a reason our old laptop has a fractured monitor... that's another story.) Anyway, PT was still in her beautiful gown until after the daddy/daughter dance, then she and GuapoCop changed to match the casual atmosphere. We enjoyed conversation, laughter with new friends and old, and I think GuapoCop's family appreciated my attempts to speak to them in their native language.

It was a busy, beautiful day. I can only imagine how exhausted my friend must be, but she described it as a perfect wedding day. That's what you hope to hear from a new bride.

Good night, friends. May you rest well.

resting in memphis

we made it here, dropped off our contribution for the post-reception party for family and closer friends. we didn't do a shower for PT, since all of us live so spread out, so she asked if we (the ones who would have thrown the shower) could supply the paper goods for the party. well, the one request the party hostess asked was that the glasses for the toast not be the 2-piece cheapo plastic glasses that fall apart every other time you set them down or pick them up. and all of us thought it would be neat for everyone to have a toasting glass. so WBT looked at her party store, i looked at mine, and the one-piece plastic flutes were crazy expensive. the best i found was 8 for 8.00... on a whim, i decided to check linens and things. hubby was home sick with baby bear, who i had put down for a nap just before i left, so i was baby-free for the afternoon. i thought they might have some plastic but not disposable flutes or something.... they had boxes of 12 glass flutes for 9.99. well, hello. why buy cheaper plastic that costs more when you can get glass??? so the food for the party will be on chinet with clear cutlery (good quality), vanity fair napkins, and glasses for the sparkling drinks. (it's a casual party, time to destress and celebrate with the bride and groom before they head off on their honeymoon.. they didn't want a full-blown formal reception, so it will be at a family member's home.) pt and her man will have plenty of glasses for future celebrations. i have to confess something....

while it is an honor to be included in a friend's wedding party, i am a little relieved to not have bridesmaid duties this time around. WBT and i have made it clear that she can ask us to help with anything she needs, but with the plethora of family and friends here, i suspect we will not be needed too much. WBT, PT and i did the flowers and bridesmaids duty at one wedding, which was an honor and fun, but very tiring.... of course, we were perfectionists with the flowers on a relatively small flower budget, wanting our friend's flowers to match her inner and outer beauty. my dad saved the day with stargazer lilies and greenery from his garden, and smith and rogers florist has great wholesale rose prices..... but i digress...

we arrived before rush hour this afternoon, dropped off our contribution at the party house, finally meeting some of fiance's family members whom we've often heard about, and arrived at tech mom and dad's just in time to meet them when they arrived home from work.

i didn't put baby bear down for a morning nap, as she seems to be outgrowing them and i hoped she would sleep in the car. she did... the first 30 minutes of the 3 1/2 hour trip. she loved having WBT in the backseat to entertain her, and though she grew tired, she remained in denial of her fatigue.
she scarfed down some cheese, applesauce, and mixed veggies before we headed out to eat, devoured her sippy cup of milk in the car on the way to the restaurant. miraculously, she was a perfect angel at the restaurant, munching on rolls and sweet potato, and even a couple of bits of steak. she even drank from a straw out of a styrofoam cup with a lid, holding it in between her legs!

WBT has gone to bed (she is such a teacher! i mean that in a good way; besides, she deserves all the rest she can get after the last few months she's had)... tech mom and dad and hubby are watching mythbusters, something that hubby treasures as quality family time whenever we are at his parents' or brothers... tech mom is about to fall asleep under her warm blanket, as is dad, and i have hijacked the laptop for the evening, as i suspected would happen... i'm certain it won't be the last time this weekend. i love their wireless. LOVE it!!!!

p.s. hubby is still congested, but taking his meds and feeling much better. baby bear has no idea how much she'll have with her babysitter, whose grandbabies live close to Temera and Ang, I think. she will probably teach baby bear to talk while we're gone! hope all of you in my blogily are on the mend and have restful, warm weekends with your loved ones!

might or might not post this weekend...

most likely, i will steal tech mom's laptop at some point. pray for PT and her fiancee, as they will be married at 3 p.m. on Saturday. the ceremony will be in an orthodox church, which will be interesting... a little different than other weddings we've been to. it will also be a mini-reunion of some of my friends from college. 4 of us lived on the same dorm floor our freshman year and are still in touch with eachother. baby bear will be watched by either a good friend of tech mom's from church or work, so she'll be in good hands.

go ahead, everyone place bets to see if i can make it a whole weekend without feeding my blogging addiction!

Gold's Gym is off the bad list

We mailed our packet of documentation showing we had gone through all the appropriate channels to request our membership freezes when baby bear was born and hubby was away. A kind customer service rep and I have been leaving messages back and forth, as their system showed no record of the freeze. Well, receipt nazi saved the day, and found everything we needed. CSR called this afternoon to let me know that our memberships will be good through the end of April, thanks to the proof we photocopied and mailed in. That's actually an extra month, but she apologized for the hassle and said we obviously had the paperwork she needed. She had tried to e-mail us, but for some reason, her messages didn't make it to our account. Go figure. Anyway, all's well that ends well. Now I have 3 more months to work toward looking ok in a swimsuit this summer... and by that time, the weather should be nice enough to take baby bear for walks outside, the playground, or the zoo.

the sick day continues...

shortly after baby bear's milk-on-daddy incident, hubby grabbed his pillows and relocated to the guest bedroom. he tossed and turned all ast night, even after i crawled into bed following my insomniac episode. the guest room is tucked away from the hubbub of the kitchen , etc. it also tends to be the coolest room in the house, which under normal circumstances would be perfect. alas, these aren't normal circumstances, and the cold irritates even hubby's cough. maybe this means i can get away with keeping the heat set higher.

baby bear watched me assemble the pot roast in the crock pot, bringing books to my feet as i peeled and cut veggies. she had been amused by the chopping of the carrots, but about halfway through the onion she grew restless in her high chair and almost climbed out. after the crock pot was filled, we read a few books, played with some blocks, and now she's watching Sesame Street so mommy can get a shower and clean up the kitchen a little better. i suppose i need to change our sheets for the second day in a row, thanks to baby bear's accident. then, baby bear and i will run some errands. if i'm lucky, i may find a new dress and shoes to wear to the wedding. (if i'm not, i have a standby, but it's sleeveless and the cold air has found it's way here.)

i peeked in at hubby. he's finally sound asleep, head propped up on the pillows, arms crossed over his chest. moving to the guest room was a wise choice. sweet dreams, poor thing.

hack, hack...

that's what hubby sounds like right now. he called in sick today. he's stealing some of my guafinasen horse pills and found some antibiotic that a certain supplier left... enough to get started, and he'll get more this weekend. silly man, won't go to the doctor.

baby bear just spit up milk on her daddy, and the sheets... gotta run

insomnia

ugh. i was tossing and turning next to my beloved. now i'm sitting on the couch, feet propped, listening to the hum of the dishwasher. at least i was able to sleep when i was taking my medicine. granted, my mind is spinning with things that need to be done tomorrow, before we go away for the weekend. and as we're going to a wedding, the wedding of the one who God chose to introduce me to my beloved (along with her roommate at the time), i am reminded of how i had insomnia the nights before my own wedding. i was thoroughly exhausted, but couldn't sleep a bit.

an old song by pray for rain aka pfr has been running through my head the past few days. i need to dig out that old tape and listen to it. or maybe i can find it online somewhere... i'm sure the lyrics are somewhere in cyberspace....

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Ironic by Alanis Morisette

It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take Who would've thought ... it figures

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

It rained on our wedding day, but not until the reception.
The birdseed got thrown inside the reception hall. Big thanks to whoever vacuumed it up!
That was in 1999, not 1996.
Someone told me that when it rains on your wedding day, it means you'll have lots of kids.

Meal Planning Wednesday!!!!!

Ha-I've done it. Planned two meals in a row. Not the whole week, but that's ok. Baby Bear and I ventured the 1.8 miles to the nearest Publix to see what they had on special for meat. The mail hadn't arrived with the weekly flier, so I was praying for pot roast. My prayer was answered! So I bought one for tomorrow, which I will throw in the crock pot with carrots, potatoes, garlic, onion, and celery and cook on low all day, and one to freeze for later. Then, a demonstrator was cooking some pork stuff that tasted yummy. And I decided that as tempting as it would be to go out to eat, hubby would probably not feel like going out tonight, so I would make dinner. So we're having Spanish Style Cubed Pork Cutlet, rice, and asparagus. He isn't a big fan of asparagus, but it was also $1.00 off plus I had a coupon for another $1.00 off and I'm craving green veggies this week. Real veggies, not canned or frozen.

p.s. I'm fully aware that impuls buying at the suggestion of a demonstrator does not constitute a meal plan. But progress, no matter how small, is still progress.

My little sis and her family are on blogger! She said it'll probably be a while before she has it the way she wants.

Also, I just want to thank the Lord that they are ok. They were hit by a semi on the interstate last night as they drove home from eating out for bil's birthday. No injuries, except to the car, miraculously... pray that the insurance company counts the car as totalled, though, because the damage is a ton and the car won't be the same if they try to repair it. The story is on their blog...

Another little one arrives early... check out Caslon's blog and say a prayer for baby Hudson and his mommy.

buen viaje

I just spoke to my Mom. She and Dad made the drive down to Marco Island, FL safely. They're going on a dolphin-seeing cruise tonight. Dad had fried alligator nuggets and mom had frog's legs for dinner last night, they've seen several alligators in their natural habitat, and they've enjoyed vanilla/keylime ice cream and coconut ice cream. Oh, and the condo they are staying in is fabulous. (They know the owner very well and got a very good deal.)
Dad doesn't believe in the hassle of flying, he never has. Growing up, it was due to economic necessity. Now he doesn't want the hassle of checking his camera equipment through security. while the rest of us are chilly at best, freezing cold in some cases, please find it in your hearts to pray they have a safe journey. It must be nice to be retired and have the kids out of the house. Seriously, though, they deserve the break. And the heat is much better on Dad's joints and nerves than the cool air.