Tackle it Tuesday: Grouch Edition

I'm pretty sure the purpose of the whole "Tackle It Tuesday" meme is to encourage you in the day-to-day stuff of life and the big accomplishments.  I'm tired and crabby right now, so consider this your warning.

On Sunday night, during a heavenly trip to the grocery store without kids, I rescued two 99 cent 3 inch pots with mums in them.  Bear had been begging for more flowers, and she was so excited when I brought them home.  It did not matter to her that the yellow and pink (er, brown) flowers were shriveling up.  They were beautiful to her.  It didn't matter to me either.  You see, in a past season of life I had flower beds.  Not pots on the third floor balcony of an apartment building.  There is a difference, and the amount of enjoyment cultivated, especially with a toddler undertow and an almost five year old who are both eager to "help," yeah... you get the picture.


I didn't take before pictures.  I just didn't, but I am probably the only person who would have spent 99 cents on dead-looking flowers. (In my defense, the plants were still very green).  However, they had new buds coming, and in my aforementioned former season of life, I learned that pinching off the dead buds will encourage new growth if the plants still have life in them.  And I am cheap... I am not spending $10 on flowers that are sure to die in this Hades-like heat in September. (It's in the 90's here just south of Hotlanta.)

Anyhow, this day of tackles started out well.... freshly brewed Starbucks coffee at home, Pumpkin spice creamer and sugar to taste, and I even threw a chicken in the crock pot after smothering it in delectable seasonings.  See?  I'm ready for Fall.

Fast forward a couple of hours.  Some Mommy decided it would be fun to take her kiddos out of the balcony to do a little "gardening" in the sun before it's too hot.  News flash: at 11:30 a.m. it is too hot to enjoy being outside.  So, I lifted one pot of dead summer flowers out of their decorative urn.  Discovered the urn was full of stagnating water.  I tried to dump water into one of the other pots, dumped too fast, and created a mini mud cascade down to the neighbors railing below. Crap. How neighborly of me.  So I threw on some jeans to go apologize, writing a note of apology for the mess I shared first, figuring they were not home.  I think I wrote the wrong apartment # on the note, but they know who I and my elephants are.  I mean, if someone had dumped muddy water on my balcony, I would not have been happy.  Not that the idiots who smoke their cigars and cigarrettes two floors down care that they are poisoning my air.

We we returned upstairs, and I vowed not to be defeated.  Buddy fell of sissy's bike and got back on at least 5 times.  At least he was mostly occupied.  Bear did a good job fetching water from the well, I mean bathroom faucet.  (I hope she turned it off all the way).  I asked her to pinch off the old buds, she did about 5 of the 40 and decided to go back inside.  Helping a crabby mommy is no fun.  By this time I was not enjoying being around myself, either.

Ok, so I cut off old dead flower stems from the remains of our summer flowers, and pulled others out of the pots I planned to re-use immediately.  I transplanted the mums and pinched off the dead blooms that Bear left and the plants don't look half bad.  But then I still had to sweep up the mess, because when you live on the third floor it's not good manners to sweep your dirt onto your neighbors' railings/balcony below....  Did I mention it is hot here?

So, pardon my grumpiness, but what would have been a fun project to share with the kids in my old yard was a frustrating chore here.  My flowers do look like they will be happier in their new home than they were in the grocery store's reject cart, in a week or maybe even less, I should have some fresh blooms to enjoy.  The kiddos will be able to pick them to their hearts' content because mums rebloom. (As long as little Buddy does not yank the whole plants out of the pots.)  Next year I'm just going to spend $50 on big beautiful flowers that don't require work other than watering them. (Um, not really.  It's against my frugal genes.) Next year I plan to be in a new season of life, including living in a house with a yard where gardening is much more fun, even in the heat.  (I think the heat bounces off the building and makes it feelworse than it really is.)

Once upon a time

people stayed where their families lived and worked for generations
children went off to school to learn a new trade, but returned "home" with their new skill
or they stayed home and found a local job and worked hard to advance in the company
or maybe they went off to school,  got a job elsewhere, and settled and lived happily ever
people who grew up in one of those situations
don't always seem to understand
the process variations for the rest of us
the how's or the why's or the where's

the alternate route may appear nomadic
but there is a purpose
our path may curve and fork
but we journey together
****
not every puzzle comes in a box with a picture of what it's supposed to look like in the end

Freedom

It feels good to make a decision for myself and my kids, and know without a doubt I made it for the right reasons.  And to acknowledge that I did make that choice as much for myself as my child.  And that's okay.  Not just okay, it's really a good thing.

My baby girl is starting school tomorrow.

I got a degree in education thinking I might homeschool someday.
I have a lot of friends who homeschool.
I have relatives who homeschool.
Sometimes it seems like it's the "in" thing to do in some circles.
(Though that is not why most parents choose it.  Just like any other decision, multiple factors are considered... learning styles, school quality, other opportunities, faith-based reasons, the list goes on and on and on....)

But God did not call me to homeschool, not completely.  Not this year.
He also did not call me to compare myself to others or try to do what they do because it sure looks or sounds like a nice idea. (Though the idea of schedule flexibility going out the window next year is enough to make me re-evaluate our path and start searching for a curriculum for Kindergarten.)
And when I finally realized that, I found freedom.  (Thanks, Cheri, for putting it that way in our chat.)

Of course, I will still be my child's teacher.  I'm her Mom.  That's what Moms do. We teach and train our kids, or at least pour our heart and soul into the effort.
But my husband and I have chosen to share some of that responsibility, to give me a little break.
To give little guy some mommy and me time like sis had when she was little.

Let the Pre-K school year begin!  I am so proud of my little girl and can't wait to see what she learns this year.  With and without my help.

"When I'm not in control"

I was reading a friend's note on her FB page, and as she relayed what's been going on in her life and her family lately, she mentioned a list of verses with this heading.  And then it hit me, maybe part of why my blog has been silent is precisely this.  I find that ironic.  I am not a control-freak, under most circumstances.   However, there is one pretty big question in my mind, followed by several related questions, that I've been waiting to have answered.  It's monopolized my thoughts for several months now, making it really hard for me to feel settled.  Not only that, I am not really looking for advice on how to deal with it, because, quite frankly I do not want to be patronized, and that's how advice comes off at times.  (I'm sure I've been guilty of offering patronizing advice to others, unintentionally, of course.) Just a few moments ago, as my cotton-ball stuffed mind (I have a cold) processed my friend's update... I really, really, really do not like being in control of this particular aspect in my life.  My blog is "my space" that I like to feel like I can control (oh, the irony of feeling in control of a social networking site).  What aspect?  Well, that's not really something I can post right now.  If you know me well, chances are you can figure it out, expecially those of you who received the specific prayer request in the mail. (Did I just spell the "e" word like that?  I blame the cold.)  Let's just call it "direction."  Is that vague enough for you?

The point is, I am not in control.  God is.  In spite of my best attempts at protecting my children, there is always the risk of the bee sting, or the toddler running toward another swinging child at the park just as I turned around to listen to the other sibling. (Thank God for other parents nearby.)  Maybe I've been a bit more preoccupied with my lack of control than I thought.  I guess that makes me an "uncontrol freak."

I'm up far too early (or late, depending on your time zone/perspective).  While I would like to blame my current health, a cold which was shared by my wonderfully loving children, I'm sure it has more to do with the fact that I need to be still and know who is God.  To trust that we've been praying for something(s), and the answer(s) will come in God's time.  To not be so consumed by the unknown that I fail to truly live in the moment He has given.

"accidental" vacation


So, a couple of months ago my sister mentioned that her family would be attending a convention about 2 hours from where our parents live, then spending a few days with Mom and Dad at their new home, after a visit to Walt Disney World.  In my typical indecisive form, I thought about the idea.  Hubby's travel schedule has been kind of crazy lately, and I don't typically like to drive more than 4 hours alone with the kids.  They are good travelers, most of the time, but I get sleepy, and, well, you know.  (forgive my comma overusage and all other grammatical errors.  I have salt water on the brain.)  Finally, I decided that the kids and I needed time with Grandma and Grandpa.  But I didn't want to do Disney without my husband there.  Well, the more I thought about THAT, the more I decided I could not have Bear hearing how wonderful and magical it was from her cousin and realizing that she really could have gone too.  So when Mom and Dad/Grandma and Grandpa said they would like to go as a big group, our decision was made.  Disney was magical.  Tiring, rainy, but still magical.  Buddy was lost in wonder, Bear and J took turns being excited and crabby.

Then we tried to go to the beach with them.  Cousin J had never been to the beach before.  Ever.  We got rained out of those plans, but the girls stood in a picnic shelter with Grandma and Grandpa and saw 2 manatees swimming in the bay.

We tried to go again the next morning.  I made a stupid mistake that cost me a car door, and needless to say, we did not make it to the Beach.  (The weather was great for me niece and she got to hang out with Grandpa without us.)

We had planned to be in FL for 6 days.  Almost 1 week past our scheduled departure, we're still here.
*****
I guess I never published this.  We arrived home safely and are back to life as usual.  :)

Aren't they pretty?

Now I just need to use them!!!!  (I do have 2 big yarn projects going, plus a couple of small things.)  I bought the ribbon intending to use them in scrapbooking or for clippies....


On second thought, I just realized that 4 of the skeins are leftovers from previously completed blankets made within the past 2 years.  Maybe I'm not just a collector after all!

dreaming of authenticity

So, just before I was awakened by my boy at 5:30 this morning, I had an odd dream.  It was odd because of the characters in the dream. My family (me, my husband, and kids, a married couple, and to be honest I'm not sure that the wife is who the guy is really married to or not... I didn't know her.  I barely knew the guy in elementary school, so to have him in a dream was rather surprising. I know his name and that's about it, nothing of his character.  Yet all of a sudden he became a substitute mascot.  And the friend from high school... she was a friend who I always appreciated as someone who was true to herself.  Somewhere in the middle.  Not part of the main clique, but not an outcast by any means. And somehow, they all ended up at my house, along with my family.  The first couple essentially represented the legalistic years, the ones during which I was taught that obedience is "the very best way to show that you believe." (Feel free to sing with me if you know the song!)  One might add "no questions asked" to that definition. The other friend represented freedom in her searching, one seeking honesty above perfection.  And when they left, the couple was set in their ways, telling us what we should be doing, while the friend was still searching and not convinced that those other people had what she wanted, even if they were "right."  There were a few other details (and people) in there... but that's the gist of it.  And after I got Buddy settled back down with his sippy cup, snuggled in his big boy bed because apparently the crib won't do, I was still pondering the implications of this dream that was cut short.  Not the "why were those people in my dream," but the theme of the experience, more or less. (More to come, maybe.... but it's time to be Mommy.)

A lesson in comfort

Yet you are he who took me from the womb; 

you made me trust you at my mother's breasts.

(Psalm 22:9, ESV) 

As one whom his mother comforts,
so I will comfort you;

(Isaiah 66:13a, ESV)

Isn't it amazing that God compares himself to mothers?  We've been struggling with sleep patterns lately.  The past couple of days, my 21-month old has been fighting off nap time and bedtime with a vengeance.  I mean screaming bloody murder at the top of his lungs type of vengeance.   If Daddy or I picked him up, he would stop his screaming.  We also suspect the 2-year molars are part of the problem, and have been giving him the meds.  But those are apparently not enough.

There are times for self-soothing.  But it's interesting that the Psalmist didn't say, "you are he who took me from the womb, you made me cry it out while my mother listened from a nearby tent to teach me to survive."

Likewise, there's the verse in Isaiah.  It doesn't say when the mother comforted, or that she stopped comforting at a specific age, but clearly God expects mothers to comfort their child.  And He promised that comfort to His children.  (In spite of the number of times they had protested, turned away, thrown tantrums, or just the fact that they really needed to grow up.)

Now, I do believe there are times when a baby or toddler needs to self soothe.  But today, after days of fighting this battle and then today, breaking down into tears (in my room, where the little one couldn't see or hear me as he wailed through the walls), the theme of these verses came to mind.  And when little brat, I mean sweet but needy Buddy, who had thrown his sippy to the floor, been given his pain reliever, and been left to go to sleep for a greatly needed nap awoke after maybe 30 minutes of sleeping, decided he NEEDED Mommy, I decided that for some reason, he NEEDED me, too, and this was not just a battle of the wills.  And I held him.  And rocked him back to sleep. 
And held him for another 40 minutes until he woke up peacefully and looked at me, a sweet, smiling copy of photographs of his Daddy at the same age.  It was good for both of us.  In fact, he's grown into such a big boy that I can't remember the last time my little wrestler actually slept in my arms for even 5 minutes.  Apparently I needed to be reminded that he is still a baby, and sometimes what a baby needs most is Mama.

Friday Felicities

• Freshly cut flowers and greenery from the spirea shrubs
• A full week where my beloved came home at the end of each work day
• Homemade "starbucks:" coffee with a bit of dark chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and cinnamon in addition to the usual milk and sugar 
• Listening to the birds on the balcony (and the sound of them rustling in the chimney, which never gets used here in the warm South- At least it's good for something)
• Seeing the treetops from the balcony
• Discovering what new wildflower will bloom this week in my little balcony mystery pot
• Two healthy, fun-loving kids
• Panda Express for supper last night, on a day where I really needed to eat somewhere other than at home
• The cheerful red wall in my living room
• Dental coverage on our insurance
• My husband taking the day off so I don't have to drag little man to the dentist's office along with big sis, who is going for the first time and a little bit nervous
• An uninterrupted shower with plenty of time for shaving my legs
• Silence beyond the clicking of the keyboard
• Romans 8:1

Have a great day and a wonderful weekend!

editing history


So many professing Christians get up in arms over the re-writing of American history, yet we ignore obvious revisions of Biblical history. Or omissions.  (Or maybe we only go to church on Sunday and leave the Bible on the night stand the rest of the week.  Yeah, I'm guilty of that.)

Why is it that our Biblical heroes are often portrayed only as godly, god-fearing, etc?  Their deep flaws are often skipped over in order to coerce us into following some kind of false gospel where our salvation seems to be based on our works almost as much as it is on faith in Christ.

Every once in a while, we MIGHT catch a glimpse of their weaknesses in a sermon or two.  David and Bathsheba is often retold.  Maybe I just wasn't listening the first time I  was told how David ran from Saul into "refuge" under an enemy king, and in the process of saving his own skin, he became a traitor to his people, killing women and children to make the bad dude respect him.  (see I Samuel 27:1-28:2) Yeah, I missed that.  Until last Sunday.  It turns out that David's not-so-little affair was not his first wicked act.  Who knew? Could it be that the hard truths of that passage were skipped over because they did not serve a teacher's purpose? Ouch!  Or maybe my mind just blocked them out.

The good news is not that David was a man after God's own heart so he could get away with doing whatever he wanted.  Somewhere along the road, he repented and sought God.  And God used Him in a mighty way.  God was faithful, period.  And He loved David.  Not because of what his child did or did not do, but because he was His child.

So, if God loved David so much that he used Him anyway, shouldn't we, out of gratefulness for his mercy in our own lives, extend forgiveness to those who "don't deserve it?"

Just mulling things over, in hope that God will help me listen to His heart instead of my own.

 

Look closely.  Bear wanted to put her rose from our trip in the park with the tulips that came today.  The stem was not long enough.  So she set the bud vase next to the big vase so they could be together.

The hardest part about hubby's "new" job is the time it takes him away from home.  These arrived today, the first day of this week's absence.  They helped a little.

happy mail :)

A while ago, I won a drawing on another blog and forgot about it.  Last week, I received an e-mail from Carolyn, verifying my address.  My package came today!  Not only that, she threw in an extra bit of somethings... scrapping somethings, to be specific.  A cute little make n' take complete with bits of fabric, buttons, some chalk AND rub-ons.  Now I really need to get back to scrapping!

The original prize was fun, too.  Something only a Mom of littles could truly appreciate, but still fun. A bright (Tennessee) orange basket overflowing with some  Boogie Wipes,  a "Boogie Babe" onesie, and a "Boogie Mama" T-shirt.  Bear loves the wipes, and apparently Buddy does, too, because he keeps wiping his face with the one I just used to wipe his boogers.


Thank you, Carolyn, the Scrapping Servant!

losing it

My metabolism, that is.  I weigh more now than I did when I got pregnant with either of my children.  I want to lose 20 lbs. The question is, how badly?  I've blogged about this before... the whole exercise/weight loss/fitness/health realm.  And while there may have been a time in my life when I was referred to as "chicken legs," and there might also have been a time when I could have eaten whatever I wanted to without gaining much weight, that time has obviously come to an end.


Hubby doesn't seem to mind the few extra curves.  MY problem with my physique is that a lot of the weight settles at my tummy, and other areas I'd like to expand don't balance it out enough.  And when someone asked me if I was expecting, too, I knew it was time to bring back the motivation, somehow.

I picked up a copy of the Jillian Michael's 30 day Shred DVD last week. I had been scoping it out, and the price was right. Happy Mother's Day to me.  To be honest, while I like the Wii Fit and Wii active, I was getting sick of cartoon-like characters telling me what to do. I'm not sure if it will be any easier with Jillian Michaels leading the way, but at least she has "adaptations" for those of us who are weaker.  I just wish the modifications were shown by someone whose body resembles mine a little more.... not the flat-ab chick without an inch of bounce in her flesh.

Day 1 down.
20 lbs. to lose


How long will it take?
 

Spring Road Trip Part 2..

Well, really, part 3. I already covered the first 2 major locations.  The last leg of the trip was to head back South via Louisville, stopping to visit my brother, his wife and my adorable nephew.  A week ago Friday, we left Gramma's farm.  Thursday night, per her usual courtesy, she asked what time we wanted breakfast.  We hesitantly decided on 7 a.m., and changed our request to 7:30.  Apparently she didn't hear the change.  And she runs ahead of schedule half the time, so at 6:38 we heard, "yoo-hoo!  It's time for breakfast!"  This actually worked out fine, enabled us to not have to hurry quite so much.

The drive from WI to L-ville went really smoothly until we stopped for supper about an hour or so north of our destination.  Note to self:  just go the rest of the way, and figure out what your starving body wants when you get there.  The irony was that we (hubby and I) were not really that hungry, but the kiddos said they were.  I now realize they were just stir-crazy.  And that meant crazy at the restaurant.

So we arrived at big brother's house (er, older, I am pretty sure I am officially larger than he is now, though I have not asked him his weight).  Sweet nephew was already in bed, but it was good to see the adults and let the kiddos reacquaint themselves with their aunt and uncle.  And then we realized Buddy was a little warm.

And here's where the proof of my character comes in.  The next day, Buddy awoke still a little warm.  It was Derby Day, raining (so no trip to a park or the zoo as we had hoped for), and instead of keeping my feverish child (who otherwise acts 100% normal and exhibited no other symptoms), all of us headed out to a local indoor playground/bounce house/mini golf/arcade place.  Yep.  It just wasn't fair to contaminate my nephew, why not share the germs with the whole city? We couldn't stay in a hotel, they were all booked thanks to the horse race, I'm sure.  And beside, sweet nephew had already been exposed.

We went, bounced, climbed, and had a good time.  Returned home and ate some lunch.  Put Buddy down for a nap, then hubby and I headed out to do a little exploring of the area on our own while the cute baby boys napped.  Bear watched videos and played. 

The drive was a nice break, in spite of the fact that we'd been driving all week.  Just me and hubby for once.  Tranquility.  And rain.  A dear friend called my cell, and I didn't answer.  I figured I could call her back later.  She called again 10 minutes later... I checked my messages.  Apparently she was stranded in my old shopping grounds near Nashville, desperate for a way home.  By God's grace, we got her to the interstate without drowning herself or her car's engine, and I felt guilty for not answering first.  Especially when I saw the news reports and Facebook status updates online that night.  Oops.  And when I called to tell sis in law we were coming home, she said buddy was still asleep.  He takes long naps, but that was crazy.  Sure enough, she called back after waking him up and he had a high fever.  I think higher than he's ever had.

I had hoped to go to church with brother and fam before heading home on Sunday.  That didn't happen, between Buddy's temp and thinking matters over.  The normal route home was closed due to flooding, so we decided to head East and then South.  It actually only added 30 miles, but we also remembered that hubby had a flat tire to get fixed first thing on Monday so he could get to work on Tuesday.  Yeah.  So we hit the road.  In the rain.  So a couple of wrecks, including a tractor trailer off the road (thankfully not tipped in the middle of the road, so we were able to get by.)


So we headed home Sunday morning (after enjoying more of sis in law's yummy coffee cake that she MADE), feverish baby boy..... opted not to visit Caslon and her fam on the way, with the feverish boy and all.  And I think we were just ready to be HOME.  The next morning, hubby got his tire fixed (but he got a screw in the new tire later this week and had to get it patched already.)  We also took Buddy to the pediatrician and discovered one ear was infected, the other not quite, but almost.... so he's on antibiotics.  Sometimes I think I've probably missed other infections because my kids behave so normally, even when they have any signs of illness.

And that, my friends, was the rest of our journey.

Now I'm ready for another vacation.  Oh, wait, I had that last month but never blogged about it.

Spring Road Trip 2010

So, our journey began with the decision to head out Friday night instead of Saturday morning to beat the weather forecast.  Little did we know that the next weekend would be the treacherous flood of Nashville, 2010.  But I jump ahead.

Traveling with kids is not simple.  I've been asked we don't just fly the 16 hours to WI to see Great Grandma.  Seriously?  And pay all those extra fees for all the extra baggage/car seats/ etc.?  Then to go through the hassle of renting a mini van?  Not to mention putting up with those ever-savvy self-righteous frequent flyers who look at you in disdain because you can't "control your children."  Um, no thanks.  We opted for me to go to Seattle alone for my cousin's wedding last month, and while I do wish my kids could have met that part of the family, I enjoyed the VACATION immensely.   Anyhoo, we've been taking long trips with the kids since they were newborns, and thank God we have family en route to the furthest destination.

First stop: Indianapolis suburb.   Arrival time: approximately 6:00 a.m.  Brother in law had an early-morning coffee date (is it a date for guys-probably just a meeting), so really, the timing was pretty good.  The kiddos slept were good, traffic was good, and we made it out of TN/KY ahead of the storms that hit Saturday.  We hung out with crt, computer guy, e, & m and had a wonderful time.  Not counting Hannah's fear of the cat (she thinks she is evil).  Ironically, Queenie, the big pup, doesn't scare her much.  The girls "slumber" partied in one bedroom, playing leapster while crt tried to read them a bedtime story.  It's so much fun to see my kiddos and their cousins play together!  The girls were also great with Brandon, watching out for him as needed, letting him try to keep up.  And when we visited the new church they are going to, we liked it better than the previous one they attended.  School cafeteria Sunday school for the kiddos and choir room nursery and all. 

2nd leg: WI
When we first moved to TN, I laughed at the presence of FFA (Future Farmers of America) and how the guys drove tractors to school on the last day.  I thought Spring Hill, TN was rural.  It was, then, but a lot has changed.  Well, the area where hubby grew up is far more rural than that.  Farming is a way of life, not just an occupation that a few people share.  Great Grandma's farmhouse, where Tech Mom grew up, was built circa 1908.    The house hubby's cousin rents was built in 1905.

We arrived just in time for supper Monday night... Gramma's Spatzlein (German dumplings) with roast beef and gravy.  (She's great Grandma to the kiddos, Gramma to us, and I can't help but interchange them.  Kinda like my Mom calling the cat my name all those years, I guess.)


Hubby's Gramma is the only living grandparent we have left.  Fortunately, she's surrounded by extended family... sister, brother, nieces, nephews, and all the great-grands.  Except her own daughter, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.  I'm thankful she has her community, and her church and relatives do really seem to take care of her (and eachother).  I am so glad that Bear is at a point that she remembers the farm, WI, and most importantly her Great Gramma because we have either visited her home or she has come down to see us and the rest of hubby's siblings and parents at major holidays.  She'll turn 90 years old in August. 

My last set of great grandparents was 94 or 95 when they died, I barely remember them.  We visited their house in the Bronx, one visit they knew who I was, the next they did not, and shortly after that....  One of my grandmothers died in 89, then we had a few years in the late 90's and early 2000's where we lost all except Great Gram.  Hubby grew up near his grandparents, celebrating birthdays and holidays with them.  My visits to my own were fewer and farther between.  But Grandma V, my Dad's Mom, always made our trips to NY special.  In addition to cooking her meals for the family (I can almost still smell them), she showed us around the big city and it's tourist attractions. The Statue of Liberty, Bronx Zoo, World Trade Center, and of course, just taking the subway.  Grandpa RJ, my Mom's Dad, took us on a tugboat ride on the Hudson, sailed with us on Long Island Sound, and made sure we had tickets over to Ellis Island during one of our final trips. 

While our only Gramma left on earth has a much less busy environment, it's strangely novel and even exciting to this suburban girl.  My kiddos love the cows. (After 30+ years of life I actually saw where the term "bullheaded" comes from when the lone bull in the cowyard seemed intimidated by my toddler son.  It stomped and snorted, sending the manure/dirt mixture up over its head and back.  Only Buddy received that "welcome.")  My old flower beds host plants from her yard.  Bear loves to pick asparagus for dinner... from the flower bed.  Buddy mastered the art of mooing.  He also seemed particularly interested in the ventilation grate at the bottom of the steps... the one his Daddy played INSIDE when he was his son's age, but has since been secured to the floor.  We've made a tradition out of going to the cheese factory in the morel mushroom capital of the world (10 minutes from Gramma's farm) and picking up some fresh cheese to bring home with us.

Tuesday, I rode like a Mexican in the back of our SUV(it's not a 3-seater, bummer) to hubby's cousin's farm about an hour and a half away. (And I have ridden in the back of a pickup truck as well as some sort of cattle or delivery truck in Mexico, so I can say that without prejudice.) Buddy and their baby boy are about 6 weeks apart in age, and his cousin and I e-mail each other.  We've shared pregnancies, a miscarriage each, and if I ever have a vegetable garden, I know who I will ask for tips. She cans a lot of the food they eat.  She milked cows on the farm during her pregnancy with her son, but they've since bought a robotic milking system that is something to see.  I will admit I have issues stemming from my breastfeeding struggles (and pumping).  I'd like to say I'll try to nurse again, but I may not.  I take things too seriously, I suppose.  Anyway, those poor cows.... that machine was like the biggest Medela or Ameda ever.  I loved the computer room (where they monitor projected and actual yield, among other things), which had been painted white with black cow spots.  How cute.)  Of course, it's their job to supply milk for us, and given the fact that another cousin just had a leg fractured in 3 places while milking, I'm beginning to think that the expensive investment was worth it just for the safety of the farmers.  Buddy and S played side by side, an uncanny hint of family expressions shared here and there, Bear and Buddy loved on Spice the kitty.  Hubby's cousin and her husband were gracious hosts, and Gramma seemed to enjoy the visit as well.  She even wore her hearing aid, so conversation flowed much more easily.


We spent Wednesday relaxing and hanging out with Grandma at home.  I did a bit of laundry in her brand new washing machine (but still had to go down the treacherous steps to the basement to use the drier.  Can't bring myself to hang the clothes on the line with the smell of manure so close.  That's a whole different kind of fresh air.)  Then of course, we went to prayer meeting on Wednesday night.  And of co urse, Buddy and I ended up in the nursery.  Many of hubby's 2nd cousins go there, and one of the non-relative girls in the nursery figured out that I was visiting and also that I was somehow related to the other Mom.  That was fun to explain.  When Bear came up from her class in the basement, her "cousin" whose class she was in asked if she can come back.  I almost cried telling her it would be a long time until we return (our last visit was just under a year ago).  Not because I think I would live there (though the Spring-like weather in the mid 60's was a welcome change to our 80's in April in the South), but because, despite our differences, our visits through the years really have brought that place to feel like another home in its own way.  Just as I used to know how to get from Grandpa and Grandma V's in Yonkers to the mall or the seminary a few blocks away, or how I knew when we approached our cousins in Grove City, or the excitement hit when we reached Route 6A on the Cape to visit my family, there's something about hitting the beltline in Madison, passing the Lands End HQ in Dodgeville, and turning onto Tower Rd. that feels like returning home.

Thursday was the whirlwind "catch whomever we can" day.  We visited hubby's aunt D and cousin M.  M is the one whose leg was crushed by a cow during milking two weeks ago, otherwise he would have been
out working.  We chatted with them for a couple of hours before heading toward Madison to visit a friend and fellow blogger.

Our boys were playing in the living room, the girls were upstairs playing dress-up, or so we thought.  I went up to make sure Bear used the restroom and found a mess.  That was not much of a surprise, but what followed was.

The girl who we were visiting held up a small net and exclaimed, "Look, I caught a fish!"   It was then that I noticed both girls were hovered over a large fishbowl on the nightstand.  And their clothes were wet.  "Let's put the fish back in the water.  It needs to stay wet so it won't die," I said.  "Oh!"
I called for our friend to come join me in her daughter's room.  And we found that while the fish had been removed from its home, other things had been added... my girl's socks.  Some loose change.  An 8 1/2 x 11" sheet of paper, a large plastic gem ("diamond" according to our princesses).

I couldn't help but laugh.  Bear hasn't been around fish tanks before, though I wrongly assumed she knew that fish had to stay immersed in order to live.  I felt bad that she was involved in the Madison Goldfish Massacre, but I was also glad they had fun playing together, and I don't THINK anything was permanently ruined.  Well, other than the dead goldfish that did not revive after it was put back in the water, or the one left missing.

So, we moved the fun outside, where the kids played in the fresh air and we were able to sample some delicious pan fried morels picked from their family's farm out in the country.

Thursday night... we hung out with Great Gram, and one of Tech Mom's best friends from her childhood came by to see the kiddos.  "It's a little J and little L!" she exclaimed.

Friday.... on the road again.  But I must finish this later as I've neglected my kiddos this morning.

Bear's recap of the day to Daddy:

"We had rockamoley and chips and cheese and Mommy lost her temperature."

Nothin' like a little perspective at days' end.  She also went on to tell him that I apologized for losing my "temperature," and as I tucked her in tonight (for the 2nd time), we prayed that she would be more cooperative and Mommy would be more patient.  And sealed our agreement with a "deal."

 Parenting brings out the best and the worst in me. (I'm sure it does for everyone.)  Those who don't know me well might never guess that I have a temper.  I am the one with the history of breaking out in tears at work when overstressed, I  typically avoid confrontation.  With family, well, it's another story.  The guard is down, and my dark side shines through.  Sometimes glaringly.

While Buddy naps, I've been trying to have Bear do a little school time in her workbooks.  Writing letters, coloring, practice with shapes, counting, etc.... She has the attention span of a 4 year old, and well, I am not used to that. Even my former high school students focused, listened, and followed directions better.  Sometimes. The thought has crossed my mind that it was easier to teach the 5 and 6 year olds at the tutoring center than it is to teach my own daughter, and I wonder why.  But then I remind myself that she is already ahead of where some of them were (matching initial consonant sounds in words), and she still has a year before she goes to Kindergarten.  And I'm also more confident in my decision to go ahead and put her in a 3 day a week pre-k program at one of the local churches.  

my procrastinaholicism reached a new low

One might think I exaggerate how badly I tend to put things off.  I don't.  If you don't believe me, this will convince you.

The missing referral my sis mentioned in her recent blog post?   Mine.  I got the letter in early February.

Anything that looks like a big project makes me freak.  Housework, for instance.  I wonder how much it would cost a professional organizer to come help my purge and sort this place and the storage unit.  Hubby is sick of stubbing his toes on the kids toys in the living room.  (I say we need a bigger living room.) 

Yeah, well, for once my irrational nadaphobia (my word for fear of nothing) impacted someone else more than myself. She's accepted my apology.  (In her words, she "knows how I roll.")  The referral is in the mail, the other missing links in their adoption process are being filled in, and soon they will be one step closer to having a brother or sister for my niece, J.

It's not even that I didn't want to do it, I was honored to be asked.  Let's just say that I'm glad I'm not the one going through a psych eval right now.
****

Geez... that'll teach me not to talk about the 2 books I'm reading simultaneously.  Much less compare and contrast.

I reread a previous post and realized that I wrote something totally different than I meant to.  Thank blogger for the edit option.

my Mii is not my friend right now

Up 7.7 lbs in 39 days.  I blame it on the Easter Bunny and my trip to Seattle.  ;-P  Hubby is home this week, so it looks like I will try to make it to the exercise room.

Only 8 more pieces of Easter chocolate left.... for all of us.

it's a simon and garfunkel moment


Okay, maybe just the first 2 lines of the lyrics, 4 perhaps.  But I LOVE the melody to the song Sounds of Silence.

And with that, I've forgotten what I was going to post about.  Oh, yes, sounds...

After visiting several churches in the area over the past few months, we think we've decided on one to stick with for now.  It's been tricky.  But the more we have visited, the more our desires have become clear.
Christ-centered theology.  Hearing the trite, over-used phrase, "God wants to bless your socks off," or a variation thereof in many larger denominationally affiliated affiliated churches has made me gag.  When did they become cousins to the pink-haired TV-preachers or MLM conference speakers? (Ok, well assuming the pastors of these churches and the individuals mentioned here are Believers, I guess they would be cousins.) Now, don't get me wrong, I do believe God loves me. John 3:16, duh.  But is blessing my socks off his primary purpose?    How about Micah 6:8?  The Beatitudes? 

I post in hopes that I don't hurt anyone's feelings, because most of the churches we've found have been very friendly and the people seem to love Jesus very much.  It's been nice to feel that most places we visited, we have been welcomed and our kids have been loved well.  If Nashville was the buckle of the Bible belt, I think we're at one of the holes in the leather. We found a few of churches with good Bible teaching, but TERRIBLE music.  Either too rock-concertish and not worshipful at all or too simplistic and also not worshipful in the opposite extreme.  Both extremes can be hokey, period, and distract from the teaching of God's word.  We love contemporary worship songs and classic hymns, all with theological depth.  We also love the use of various instruments to assist in making a joyful noise to the Lord.  Not trite choruses sung repetitiously over and over and over and over.  Nor do we particularly care for 1930's genre "gospel hymns" that are not really singing the Gospel message at all, but some kind of moral code.

A solid children's ministry  is also a must... preferrably with some kind of childrens church during the worship service.  And finally, the service times had to fit.  We discovered that Sunday morning is best for us with hubby's schedule.  Early rising during the week makes Sunday evenings HARD to do for our primary worship service. 

So, yeah, it's been hard , but after visiting around a 15 mile radius, I think we're ready to stick with one to see if that's where God wants us to plug in and serve. When Bear was dismissed from the service to go to their Preschool Praise class, I was thrilled when her teacher recognized her.  It had been at least 2 months since our last visit.  The music was not really close to what we were used to in Nashville, but it was good, God-centered, and heartfelt.  The Pastor used a Psalm to teach how David made clear choices toward godliness when he could have sought his own agenda.... in essence, he could have killed Saul, but decided to wait for God to accomplish His will in His time.
 

One more added to the list of "things I started but didn't complete"

If you are my friend on that virtual social-networking world that has replaced my blogging addiction, you figured that out.  If you happened to stop by here and noticed the absence of posts, you probably suspected as much.  Maybe next year....
 *****
I have a confession.  Nothing major.... in spite of my ability to sometimes ramble incessantly, I just can't be too transparent on here these days.   I became a fan of something that I thought was another of those silly, cool little quips because it made me laugh.  "Hair in my coffee."  It turns out that I became a "fan" of a blog I had never read.  Well, as soon as those little updates popped up on my status menu, I realized my error.  And I clicked. And read. And now I really am a fan.   The author of the blog is also posting chapters from her novel.  I like it.  A lot.  Better than "The Blind Side," my current read on my nightstand (no I have not seen the movie yet).  Two totally different books, btw, not fair to compare really.  My favorite part of "TBS" is flashbacks from our time in Memphis.  And for the record, I have a really hard time visualizing Sandra Bullock as the Mom, so she must have done an excellent job and deserved the Academy award...  the Mom in the book really comes across as much more "East Memphis" than I ever thought I would see Sandra play. 

Kristin's story is totally different than the one which Sandra plays.  (I like TBS so "well" that I can't even remember the poor Mom's name fight now!)  Her main character is someone I could imagine having cut my hair (except I'll probably never have that done on a set).  Very likeable and relatable, IMO.  Anyway, I need not compare these two works, because they are totally different stories.  But let's just say I think I will like the movie better than The Blind Side book for the simple fact I'm not big on all the football explanations.  They're like reading a technical manual, albeit a well-written one. (Anyone want my copy when I finish it, with that stellar recommendation?)
*****
Hubby's home again.  Thank God.  In a couple of weeks, we'll venture up to his former homeland to visit Great Gram.  I hope Buddy doesn't bite her or break any of her limbs by trying to climb on her.  We passed our local organic farm (where we just bought some flowers for our balcony 2 days ago) on the way back from the library today, and she saw the calves and said she wants to get a cow someday.  I told her to take that up with her Dad, and she can see some in a few weeks when we visit Great Gram.
*****
I think I'm going to go over on my broadband Prozac this month, even though I only have 2 days left.  Yep, you read that right.  My internet access in limited by Verizon.  We set up this account in the moving transition, and the contract is not up yet.  At one point we really only used about 1/2 the data allowance per month.  Then reality hit after we moved.  I truly am addicted to aspects of the internet. Oh well, we'll take it out of Hubby's per diem.

I have not quit yet.  :)

Yes, I slipped a couple of times, but I am not quitting my goal.  In my usual unorganized fashion, I have not done a very good job of keeping tally of how much $$ I have saved by drinking water, but our family's juice supply lasts longer these days.  I got to thinking that if my child were doing something like this, or anything, really, and made a mistake, I would encourage her to keep trying.

It does help that I get a "grace day" on Sundays.  That first week and a half was really hard.  Really, really hard.  Between dealing with the everyday stresses of 2 kids, hubby away, and PMS.  But I survived, with just a couple of slips.  Including a frosty from Wendy's... that doesn't count as a beverage, right?  Hubby said it's a dessert.

In addition to realizing how easily drinking water is available, I have become more aware of the general availability of clean water here in the USA.  Laundry water, dish washing water, bath water, plant-watering water, you name it...

i cheated

I had hi-c orange drink with my value meal today.  I am contemplating quitting and just making a donation to Blood:Water mission.  Not sure I can handle having my husband out of town with only water to drink....  I mean, I made it through the worst few days of the month for me to not have anything else to drink, surely I can do this... maybe?  Maybe not...  I'll keep you posted.

2 days down.... :)

This water-as-only-beverage thing is hard, but I am not going through juice nearly as quickly as I normally would...  I wonder if I can factor in that cost savings to add?

When Bear was getting into the tub tonight, she, in her best authoritative princess tone, asked us to bring in a bucket of water.  I told her we had a faucet so she did not need a bucket.  Then she saw her gladware "toys" in the tub and exclaimed, "oh, there they are!"

This got me thinking.  The areas that lack drinking  water probably lack clean bathing water, too.  When I spent a few weeks in a small rural town in Northwestern Mexico, I was advised to not even brush my teeth with the ground water, but to use bottled water.  Fortunately, they had the huge 10 gallon tanks brought in, you know the kind you might see in an office here.  And if water was running low, one of the neighbors was sure to have a bottle of coke in their little front porch tienda, or even better, helados (ice pops made of juices frozen in plastic baggies).

The spigot on the pump in front of the house where I stayed did not look like anything I would want to wash my hands in, much less drink from.  Who knew what kind of chemicals from the surrounding crops ended up in their water supply. But that was what the families were used to... I remember one little boy with eczema so severe, his brown skin cracked so you could see pink underneath.....

Just think that most parts of Africa are even more remote than the most rural, impoverished places in the United States. (And yes, there are places in our nation which warrant that description.) That village I visited in Mexico had the ability to obtain drinking water, even if there was only one telephone  for the community and the cattle shared the same road in as the pick-up truck.  The kids had a basketball court, the church had electrical fans which could be plugged in., and you might glimpse a hen sneak behind you while getting a drink from the water tank.  I once had a tick find my back while I showered, but we had ample water that was clean "enough."
*****
Today was harder, but I made it.  I took some more ibuprofen and an afternoon nap, snuggled with my 4 year old.  I put my coffee grinder up, and intend to find a place in the closet for my coffee maker to reduce temptation (and clutter).

A little "encouragement" from the guys in the band...








Ok, I must admit I took a couple of ibuprofen for a headache yesterday.... the coffee beans did not occur to me.  I could make my own chocolate covered coffee beans if I melted some chocolate chips... hmmmm.

 Slightly less frugalness...

We're getting cable.  Finally.  Not the whole shi-bang, but everything we need.  We've been surviving on the 4-6 channels that we can get with our digital antenna... ha.

When I told Bear we're going to get Disney and Nickelodeon, she jumped into my arms, gave me a kiss, and yelled, "yay!  I'm so excited!"

I'll just be glad to watch the rest of the Olympics.... we don't currently get the coverage.  That's what happens when the government decides to impose "technological improvements" on society.... you don't get the improvement part unless you pay, big time.

My son's tantrum will not break me.  I just wish I could figure out WHY he's screaming uncontrollably....

I never did figure out why, but he stopped.  And no, I did not resort to making a cup of coffee.

 

40 days of water: day 1

(I hope the folks at blood:water mission don't mind that I lifted this image off their site.)  A few days ago I  posted that they had issued a challenge for anyone to give up all beverages except water for 40 days.  I thought about it.  Thought I couldn't do it. (I think that about a lot of challenges.)  Prayed about it a little.

Interestingly, I've been thinking of giving up something for Lent in preparation for Easter for a while now.  Had a been raised Catholic, Orthodox, or in a Reformed  Evangelical denomination,  this might not be a big step.  However, for much of my life I equated any tradition other than Baptism, the Lord's Supper, and the celebrations of Christmas and Easter as somehow being tied into the law, the law from which Christ came to save us, and therefore completely unnecessary.  Honestly, I'm not sure where that came from.  I certainly don't have any scripture to support it.

Anyway, over the past several years, our family had the privilege of worshiping with a body of Believers who introduced us to more dates on the Christian calendar.  Not out of duty, but as an encouragement to help us focus our hearts on Christ in preparation for our annual celebrations. 

So, when it just so happened that the challenge issued by blood:water mission coincided with Lent, well, I had no excuse not to.  Other than, "I can't do that."  And that's the point.  I can't do it on my own.  After all, I've been sucked into my in-laws' coffee drinking habits.  Thanks to my parents' influence, I revel in my evening cup of tea, especially with my recent discovery of a great loose-leaf brand online.  And being the suburban housewife that I am, I frequent our local McD's, even after going to the grocery store located across the parking lot.  Their McCafe drinks have captured my taste buds (caramel frappe- yum!), and of course if I resist that temptation, there's always the Coke or  even a Hi-C Orange when I don't want all that fizz or buzz.

It's going to be an interesting 40 days, to say the least.  My cousin is getting married within this time period... can I have a day of grace at the wedding?  I'll cross that bridge when I get there.  

I woke up this morning and of course, the folks at b:wm had posted a reminder to their Facebook group.  I read it before even grinding my morning coffee.  Plus, I had been backing off the caffeine intake and upping the H2O the last 3-4 days.  Why back down now?

I am not a complete coffee addict.  I usually have 1-2 cups in the morning 1-4 days per week.  So this morning wasn't too hard.  I do love juices, which brings a whole different dimension to the challenge.  And milk.  Lately I've been craving chocolate milk, thanks to a picky 4 year old who needs her calcium somehow.

Well, I made it through the morning, lunch and afternoon.  The real test would be dinner.  Chik-fil-a has the best lemonade. Ever.  And guess where we were headed for dinner?  The breakfast buffet at the Chik-fil-a Dwarf House.  It's practically become a tradition since we moved here.

I did not even take a sip of my daughter's lemonade. 

Day One: $1.79 saved, plus tax

$1.79 that I did not spend on a Coke, Lemonade, or a coffee-ish beverage.  Even if I only save $50 to donate, I am confident that it will be enough to make a small difference for someone.  The fact that there are people around the world who would (and do) die due to lack of the clean water I "had" to have in place of my preferred beverage is very sobering.  

****

Ok, technically It's 46 days since I will be following the Lenten calendar.  But only 40 of those days are water-only, as Sundays are celebration days.... 1 day down, 45 to go.

ok, little birdies...

Any ideas on what to get hubby for V-day?  Is cooking him a good meal too generic?  Honestly, I'm just so glad he'll be home from training tomorrow night.  This gone-5-days-in-a-row-deal has been a pain.  I asked him, and he was not much help.   I already bought some chocolates, though they aren't as good as the ones he had sent to me.

Bear suggested we make a heart-shaped cake.  Sweet girl.  We still have a couple of pieces left from the cake we made last weekend....they are probably kind of stale, though.

an afternoon truffle break

Ok, so at this rate my dozen truffles will be gone before Sunday, the actual Valentine's Day.  I just stuck Buddy in his crib for his nap... he thinks I'm kidding.  I helped Bear build her comforter tent in the living room.  I finished folding AND put away my clean clothes, leaving one basket of the kids' clothes, one dryer load of sheets, and another miscellaneous load in the washer to go until Mt. Downy is scaled for the day.  And of course, I indulged in another truffle. 

This is the time of day where I want a nap.  I often take one.  But today I am determined to check things off my to-do list, no matter how mundane they may be.  So as Buddy jabbers in toddlerese from down the hall, Bear crunches on some leftover Nerds from Halloween right next to me, and the dryer finishes up this round, I take a bite.

Yum.  Must be Kelly's Coffee. It looks darker than the other one pictured in the brochure with a coffee bean on top.   It's amazing how the smallest little bit of chocolate can provide a rich "pick me up" on a bleak mid-winter day... along with the shortest phone conversation with a friend in between laundry piles and toddler tantrums.

a chocolate-covered Valentine's week

Hubby did good.  His wonderful sister told him that I had been craving truffles from The Cocoa Tree, and  he took the hint to heart.

Back when The Cocoa Tree was in downtown Franklin, Bear was still in a stroller, and one fall day one of my roommates from college and I strolled in to sample the truffles which I had heard so much about.  They did not disappoint, nor did the Mayan hot chocolate.  Well, that shop closed, but Bethany reopened in the Germantown district of Nashville a little while later.  I fully intended to pay the new location a visit before we moved.  You know what they say about intentions?  Well, I have lots of them.  Let's just say that hubby is the one who follows through consistently.

So last night I woke up from naptime (yes, when the kiddos nap, I nap, it's not often Bear goes down willingly) to the maintenance guy's knock, he handed me the box from UPS.  Alas, it was not from the maintenance guy (that would be freaky).  It was indeed from my beloved.

My present?  A dozen truffles.  I don't normally refer to candy as exquisite, but these truffles are not your ordinary buy-day-after-Valentine's-at-half-price.  And since the shop is no longer in driving distance due to our move, I can't just drive 20 minutes for my fix.

The adorable robin's egg and brown box is artistic in its own right.  It's solid construction hints that it contains better-than-ordinary treats.  Enclosed in the box was also a brochure, a "map" to help identify the flavors as well as a temptress for future orders.

So, my first truffle happened to be Liz's Milk Chocolate.  Simple, yet rich.  I probably should have payed more attention and saved that one to share with hubby.  He prefers the classics flavors, and this one fit that bill.  Milk chocolate shell with sprinkles on top surrounding the milk chocolatey ganache inside.  Heaven in its purest form.  Yes, it is "the one that everybody loves."

Last night, I tasted Karin's Irish Cream after I put Buddy to bed.  Bear was ecstatic to share a bite of Mommy's special treat.  Oh my goodness... delectable. Described in the borchure as 'The one that pours," it's a soothing blend of chocolate and Irish Creme at the end of a toddler-filled day.  I regretted sharing that bite with my daughter, oh how I wanted more.

This morning... why not have a truffle for breakfast? I opted to try Deborah's Chambord... "the one that stands out in a crowd."  Dark chocolate and raspberry flavored center, coated in white chocolate with a dusting of raspberry adornment.  This is the one that made me think "exquisite."  I have fond memories of the Jack and Ginger and Beck's Margarita from previous encounters... DC is a new favorite. Again, the giving mother that I am shared it with both kids.  My 18 month old kept pointing toward the box of truffles and chanting "dis" (this in toddlerese)... he wanted more.  I gave him a Hershey's kiss instead, and that seemed to subdue him.  Note to self: stop sharing my priceless treats with the children.

I'm blogging about these to remind myself which ones I like the best...  these truffles are really that good.  Thanks, Bethany:Chocolatier, for the cure to the common chocolate boredom.

40 DAYS OF WATER?

Blood:Water Mission is holding their "40 days of water"  fundraising/awareness campaign soon.  I'm seriously thinking about doing this and journaling about it on here.  Anyone care to join me?  If I read correctly, the fundraising aspect is that one would donate what they saved by not buying other drinks to Blood:Water Mission.

This is an awesome charity set up by the guys in Jars of Clay.  They are passionate about living out their faith and God's love for others in a tangible way.  Check it out!

Who knows how to make a link button?

I would love one for my sidebar that says "Praying for Kara Faith."

If you don't know her story, visit her blog here.

Am I losing it?

I could have sworn I posted about my stroller options way back when I was planning for Buddy's arrival.
Maybe I just posted all that to FB.

Anyway, I ended up getting the joovy caboose ultralight.  And just when I thought Bear would be too old and uninterested in riding, yesterday's trip to the post office proved me wrong.  I had a reusable grocery sack full of things to mail.  The line inside ended up being fairly short, only 10 minutes or so, but that short wait was helped by the stroller's presence.  You know that time of day where they are ALMOST but not quite ready for a nap?  (Well, if you are lucky and have kids that nap.)  Well, it was about 1:30 p.m., and in spite of her firm opposition, BEAR NEEDED to take a nap.  Lucky for her, I had things to do.  Anyway, handy little lime green stroller did the job.  Bear in back on the bench seat, Buddy up front with his sippy cup.  I have to say, the harness with shoulder straps is just what he needs.  He would be climbing out of just a lap belt.  Bear did not nap, but she rested in her seat and observed those around us.

Anyway, if you are interested, here's the summary of my take on the stroller:
Pros:
Lightweight...
Easy to set up/fold (but NOT one-handed)
Handles well (Remind me to post about the stroller-jacking if you don't know the story and want to read it)
Slim depth when folded- Groceries fit on top when in the back of my older highlander
Carseat adapter worked fine (although the little strap-on thingy was kind of annoying- but it would be hard to accomodate every brand single infant carrier's snap-in needs)
Both kids seem comfortable
Parent organizer works GREAT for 2 cups, a wallet, fruit snacks, etc... and the cups or bottles STAY PUT
Umbrella is HUGE, covers both kids
Pockets in back of front seat serve as holders for older child's "treasures."

Cons:
Not one-handed... gotta have kiddos buckled in before you fold it up.
Might be too big in smaller vehicles, but what double stroller will fit.
Storage space is very small if you carry a big bag, and older child must get off bench seat to access. My solution- she helps carry shopping bags.  Big purse stays on my shoulder.

There you have it.  Bottom line-  If you are looking for a "truck" that carries everything under the kitchen sink, this won't work.  But if you want something fairly maneuverable that carries your kids will, including a 4 year old and newborn +, the joovy caboose ultralight will do the job.  Extra bonus- a friend recognized me in the parking lot as I buckled the kids in because she remembered our stroller when she saw it.  (It's somewhat unique.)

Really?

So, I just got an e-mail which could result in an opportunity to review a pretty neat gadget.  It appears to be legit;  I'm going to call the sender tomorrow to try to verify.  I'm a bit wary... I mean, solicitations just make me a bit nervous in this era of rampant identity theft, etc.  So, I sent a e-mail response asking her to prove it's a legit request. Oh, I also sent an e-mail to the customer service of the company asking if they can verify her employment.  Although it is a large company, and odds are I might not get a CSR who will be able to dig to that extent. My lack of overwhelmingly huge blog stats could possibly kill this opportunity.  I don't know how to tell how many unique visits my blog gets daily, and could not find it anywhere in my profile/account settings.

The cool part (to me) is that they said they got my blog address because it was nominated for the Mommy Blogger Awards.  Really?  My blog?  Me?  I mean, I feel like I've been pretty stagnant and boring lately.  So whoever may have made that nomination... thanks!  Even if it was, oh, say a year or two ago before my FB addiction almost replaced the blogging one.

Which leads me to ask... who's still here?  I see 8 followers in my little gadget in the sidebar.  (Thanks for revealing yourselves, BTW.)  I am not really the most savvy blogger... I removed my pride (and depression)-inducing counter ages ago.

Anyway, just the idea that maybe I could have a reason to revive my blog is kind of exciting.

Once again, It's bedtime and I can't sleep.  I tucked Bear into bed around 9:30.  Into my bed, I might add.  It's become customary for her to sleep in my bed when Daddy is away.  When he's home, back to hers she goes.  Until she wakes up at some point in the mid-late morning and sneaks in.  So much for all that sleep training we did on her.  :)

I'm finding that letting her stay up after I put Buddy into bed is good for us.  We get some Bear and Mommy time, something she craves and we both need. 

Still waiting for inspiration for the ultimate blog post or theme idea....

There was a point where I could write about anything and/or everything on here.  Right now, I'm just not feelin' it.  Perhaps it's because it's 5:23 a.m. and I would rather be asleep.  Or maybe, I just don't feel like being brutally honest with the blogosphere and need to write a good old-fashioned-paper-journal entry to process my thoughts.

It's been good having hubby home from training for the weekend.  This stint is much shorter, thank God.  And much less stressful for him.  I love having home.  The kiddos love their Daddy, and he obviously loves them.  It's nice to have someone who will share the hours of being used as playground equipment, and I must confess, sometimes I turn my Mommy self off and let him "handle it."  "It" could be anything from putting a dvd in the player to a tantrum to a diaper change, but it's just nice to have him back to do this part of who he is.  I don't know how military Moms and single Moms do it. 

So, I've had people ask and have been asking myself... what career would I have if I wanted to work in a monetarily paid position?  I don't know.  That bothers me.  I wish I could say it bothers me because I am so overwhelmed with joy where I am at that I would not ever want to be doing anything else.  Nope, I'm actually a bit in the-burnt-out-lost-myself-and-feel-like-I-do-nothing-well mode.  (That might have something to do with the lack of recent posts.)  Don't get me wrong.  I love my family.  But I am not Martha Stewart, June Cleaver, Carol Brady (who had a housekeeper, btw), Rachael Ray or anyone else.  I'm me, whoever and whatever that is.  I wouldn't go back to teaching without getting my Master's Degree, but I can't see myself going back to school anytime soon.  Customer Service?  Umm... so I like to think I was good at that, but I can't say I loved it.  Tutoring?  I miss my kids.  Even though I only had most of them for a short time, I miss their unique personalities, and I enjoyed the networking aspect of managing the center. Retail?  No, thank you.  BTDT.  Unless I got some really cool product along with my wages. And I don't mean samples that I had to buy (even at a discount) for my inventory or show, I mean genuinely free goods. 

I need to go back to sleep.  I actually feel like I might be able to right now. That is a good thing, unless of course one of the littles decides to wake up uncharacteristically early.  :)

Wandering back around...

A very popular networking site has pretty much replaced my blog for a while.  However, status updates are not exactly the same as an entire blog entry.  The just provide a glimpse, and that's about it.  A blog, for me, has been a bit of a journal in the past.  No, I haven't posted my most intimate thoughts here, but I have expanded on some of those glimpses.  Plus, there are certain things I really don't want everyone I know to read.  And I KNOW that not everyone I know reads this.  So right now I am in the process of figuring out what to post where.  I don't want all my FB friends and family to see my exercise log (or lack thereof).  If you are reading this, it means you have stuck around long enough to care (or not) about what I write here.  You obviously aren't going to judge me on my grammar (or lack thereof), my "outline" (or lack thereof- hence the blog title), my frequency (or infrequency), or my maturity (or immaturity).

So, my wandering for tonight....
Hubby's new job is going well.  He's learning a lot, challenged by what he does, and feels like it's a good fit.  Words can't express how proud and happy that makes me.

But... we have to get used to his travel.  For now, at least.  I really don't know which is harder... having him work midnights on the beat in an unsafe area of the city, or just having him away from us for a few days at a time. 

Exercise Log

Tuesday- 15 min Wii Fit, 30 min My Fitnesss Trainer Wii game (MFT)
Wednesday- 22 min elliptical
Thurs- 10 min Wii Fit Hula, 20 Min MFT

The goal- Do something every day.

Bear tried to exercise with me tonight.  It was cute.  She has her Mommy's "coordination."
 ****
Saturday - 20 min elliptical, 3 sets arm weights

observation
Whether people admit it or not, apologetics, i.e. defense of ones beliefs, are everywhere.  Just as the devout Christian will defend his or her faith, an agnostic or atheist will explain their unbelief.
*******
a·pol·o·get·ics

(ə-pŏl'ə-jět'ĭks)    n.   (used with a sing. verb) The branch of theology that is concerned with defending or proving the truth of Christian doctrines. Formal argumentation in defense of something, such as a position or system.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2009 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
*******
Moving on...

new year's stuff

fitness- day one
Attempted to exercise using wii fit.  Bear took her turn and then got mad when I took over for myself.  Buddy tried to climb on me and the balance board.  I think I got about 6 minutes of hula hoop in along with my body test.. but at least it said my Wii age=my real age!  Set up "My Fitness Trainer" game profile (age, weight, measurements, etc...) while kids ate a snack.  Did 30 minutes tonight.... tried the yoga on it... like the Wii fit yoga better... way better for telling novices like myself how to do the poses....  did 15 minute cardio workout and 15 minute core strength workout on the Fitness Trainer.  I like it overall... takes personal data and tries to give you an appropriate workout, also asks you how you felt about segments (too easy, made me sweat, too hard).  After the kids were in bed, of course.  Now to get hubby to set up a profile.  :)  I will definitely keep using the Fit for some activities, but the new addition to my limited repetoire raises my heart rate better.

time management- day two
I am completely opposed to over-structuring.  I am also indecisive and often get stuck trying to decide what task to tackle first.  I used a planner through college, somewhere along the way it got buried.  Plus, the Franklin Covey was just too bulky.. even the smaller one that I had.  Not to mention costly.

My little mead planner is working out well so far.  :)  Enough room to jot down what I need to, not enough to be overwhelming.  And it's cheerfully cute.  It invites me to use it.  And the pic reminds me of relaxing, fun times with the family.

Intentional parenting-
Bear is gung ho about her Job Chart/Job Jar reward system that we are trying out.  While trying to set an example through my actions, I am also encouraging her to be more responsible. (That's part of what's behind my whole attempt at some organization and self-dicipline without legalism.  How can I expect her to be responsible if I am on Facebook all day when I should be spending quality time with her, her brother, getting SOMETHING, anything done, etc...)
She even asked to help me fold laundry today.  Sheets.  That was fun.  Oh, but she did fold a washcloth that had stuck to her clothes AND put it in the laundry pile in the living room.  During Buddy's nap time we played Chutes and Ladders, ending with going over the #'s 1-100, since they are on the game board.  Not sure if she really liked the game or not... maybe we should have gone with candyland.


Little by little....

new year, new me... sort of

As you see here, I bought a planner for the year.  I did not want an expensive Franklin Covey or anything like that, but I wanted something that was fun to look at... something that would inspire me to open it up.  I found this at Wal-Mart, for about $6.  And I love the little photo sleeve!  It has just what I need... month at a glance and lines for my to make small lists of what I want to accomplish during the week.

I made a list before I went to bed last night. then I actually did 4/6 of the things on that list today.  It feels good to see check marks next to the things I got done, and to realize there were things I did that were not on the list at all.

I've got a multitude of thoughts running through my head.  You might catch glimpses of them on here if I post more than once a week, or if they make it to my Facebook status.  My track record with New Year's resolutions is pretty spoor, so I think I'll cling to Micah 6:8 and hope for a little bit of Proverbs 31 in there somewhere.

We had a wonderful Christmas, and you?

It feels more like fall than winter here in the South.  I have to admit that while I would enjoy a good snowfall, I like being able to use medium coats at most... all that bundling up must be a pain with little ones!

The sky is clear, sun is shining, and kiddos are out of trouble.  :)  Mostly.

I've got some ponderings and wanderings in my brain, but not ready to post them all.

Still investigating home-buying options...  big payment for what we would like and all that responsibility are not appealing when you have maintenance on call and are able to spend/save with less stress.

The kids and I are hoping to visit some friends who I knew in college.  We weren't super close, but I am enjoying getting to know them online, and have been praying for them during their adoption journey.  They live in IN now, but were matched with a baby here and are staying a little over an hour away til they are cleared to go home.  Yay!!! They have had quite the roller-coaster ride and I am so excited for them as they have been longing to be parents for so long! 

still dreaming/drooling/praying :)

Ok, so I am SO obsessed with one neighborhood that I took the map of the lots  that was given to me and wrote an S on the ones that are sold as listed online, and made notes on the ones I am curious about.  I even labelled the lots that border the 100 year flood plain.  Ha!  I think I will e-mail the sales rep and ask for a link to the CC&R's.  I did see someone with a garden in their back yard.... not just containers, a real garden.

I REALLY want a place that is big enough for family to come visit and not have to stay in a motel/hotel/campsite/the driveway.  It doesn't have to be huge, just have enough rooms to work with, you know? 

Of course, technically hubby has not done a lot of actual work with his new job yet, and technically we don't like the commute, so we should technically probably wait to jump into home ownership again. (and the only way the commute would be better is to move to an entirely different metro area.)  Thanksgiving at Caslon's made me itch for breathing room, well, outside at least.  We were kind of crowded inside, but that's just cozy when you are with the people you love.   And honestly, they have ample space for daytime, it's just sleeping that gets tricky when all of us invade.

so now I am praying for wisdom... when, where, etc...  that tax rebate is sounding mighty attractive.  I am loving quaint things about the town we have currently chosen for now.  Perhaps we SHOULD drive around and consider other areas, but I am itching to feel settled.

However, the good news is that hubby will be home with us on Tuesday.  Tech Mom and Dad are coming tonight, and we'll drive down to where hubby is tomorrow.  Graduation is Monday.  Yahoo!  I am so proud of him and ready to have him home! 

"Dream Building"

So, a few years ago, when we were first married, we were conned, I mean lured, I mean naive enough to get into an MLM company that was big into "dream building."   The problem with the particular company was that it was all about recruitment, sales of their products were secondary to recruitment.  Um, sorry, but ya gotta have a customer base to be able to earn those commissions, etc...

ANYWAY, one of the things we liked to do was walk through various homes in neighborhoods that were way out of our price range.  We were living with my in-laws at the time, and the dream of more space (although our space really was adequate and the savings we made by living with them while hubby finished his degree was priceless), well, it was fun.

One of our pastimes is still looking at homes, moreso now that we are in an apartment and I am getting stir crazy.

The problem?  The ones that are built to our desires for quality and space are either way too pricey or in the wrong school zone.  But we found one yesterday that had a perfect big yard with plenty of room for the kiddos to roam... the high school it is zoned to is the best in the county, the elementary and middle schools are not.  :( The floor plan is not perfect, but would be workable, and it's in a small neighborhood on a beautiful cul-de-sac, FLAT lot.  CLICK HERE to drool.

Other good points?  5-10 minutes from the interstate AND our pediatricians and grocery shopping.
Immaculately built, lots of extras included, like extra shelving in the master closet, tile backsplash in kitchen and master bath.... family run company that according to the State website of business registration has been around since '63, and the realtor we met was also the VP of the company/builder. 

So then there was another neighborhood, not far from this one, a little bit further down a countrier road.  Another regional builder, similar style homes and lots, significantly lower price point... but when we looked up that company, even though the sales rep said he had been around for a while, according to the state this particular business entity must have restructured because the date listed was much "younger."  However, that being said, this company actually offers homes in our preferred price range. 

Hubby looked in the attics of both builders' homes..... looked well constructed compared to the ones we looked in in Woodstock last month.

We're not in a rush, per se, but after walking through spacious homes I feel a bit stir crazy and cramped in my cozy apartment.

improvisation

What do you do when you have an idea for a project but lack the exact things or measurements you need? When it comes to cooking, I improvise. (When it comes to other things, I just put it off until it becomes a distant memory of an idea.) Well, between my searches for Christmas activities and friends' status updates and links on FB, and considering the fact that many of our beloved Christmas ornaments are in storage and will probably stay there this year, I thought we could make some ornaments of our own this year. Specifically: cinnamon applesauce ornaments.

I had applesauce in the fridge and cinnamon in the cupboard, so I should be all set, right? The problem was I did not have the exact amounts that any of the recipes called for. The simplest one said one part cinnamon to one part applesauce. I tried that. It was sticky. That's where the improvisation came in. I added flour. I should say, Bear and I added flour. So while I can't give you the exact recipe if you are interested, I can tell you that our mission was accomplished. We mixed applesauce, cinnamon, and flour and kneaded it to make a "cookie dough." We rolled the dough out flat on our cutting board, and used the only two cookie cutters that I could find to make bells and stars. (They happened to be in the play-dough kit. The other ornaments are probably buried in storage somewhere.) Conveniently, our tree is tiny, so the size should work out perfectly. We had to keep sprinkling with flour to keep the dough from sticking, but in the end we came out with at least 20 shapes. After we placed them on a foil-covered cookie sheet, I took a skinny straw and punched a hole in the shapes. I baked them on 200 for about 20 minutes, turned them over, then baked them for 20 more minutes. they are cooling on the stove, and the best part is the house smells wonderful!

 Now Bear wants to make cookies we can actually eat.  She tasted this dough and said it's kind of yummy but mostly yucky.

The ornaments were still slightly doughy on the bottom, which turned out useful for making the holes a little bit bigger on about half of them. 
Another plus side to this recipe it's non-toxic, so if a 15 month old gets ahold of one and decides to munch on it, no harm done.