have seeds (or bulbs)... must plant
(and dreams of what's to come....)


It seems that seeds and bulbs burn a hole in my pocket faster than money. okay, as fast as cash.
I found some acidanthera bulbs at wal-mart, and couldn't resist... I probably should have waited another month to plant them, since they are supposed to be late summer bloomers. But since when have i been a patient person?

A few days ago, I planted some seeds for gaillardia aristata, which should look something like this if they come up:


i had originally planned to just fertilize some of my flowers with the free grounds from starbucks, but then the neighbor girls got so excited about helping me, i just had to let them. ;) they certainly saved me from having to squat so much.

of course, we currently have a couple of these daffodils
in bloom, with more coming.

Tulips like these are on their way:

I'm hoping these firecracker gladiolas and asiatic lillies will come up again, or at least the bulbs that I lifted last fall and plan to re-plant in a month or two (if i can wait that long). We're in zone 6b, so even non-perennial bulbs sometimes survive the winter, but it's a matter of luck:


The black-eyed susans from Gramma's farm in WI are showing signs of life
(not this much... another old pic),

as are my mums, which baby bear was watering in this pic from last fall:

I'll have to continue this virtual tour of what I'm looking forward to for this growing season, as I just received word that Baby Bear's big girl bed is coming from Grandaddy and GranWendy's house, and between the mountains of laundry and the mess in her room, I am not ready. :)

my hero

today may be hubby's day off, but don't let that fool you. he's been my fix-it man today. apparently our old dell laptop (the one with the broken monitor which we hooked up to an old monitor that tech mom and dad had), was just being ornery at startup. when the "override" message came up on the monitor, he pressed "escape" and it finished booting. makes me mad the fix was something that simple.

our new external hard drive arrived today. so he's been a busy man, running disc defrag, clearing unwanted files off the computer, and then saving my picture files on the external drive. i am so relieved that i have not lost my pics of baby bear's first year and a half forever.

as if that wasn't enough, hubby took the vaccum apart and replaced the belt. it works like new! the thing had been doing a mediocre job at best, and the carpet pad has bounce to it again.. PLUS, he took the carpet cleaner and scrubbed a bunch of spots in the main traffic area. we plan to rent a carpet cleaner sometime, but it's a huge improvement.

yesterday was so pretty (74'), and bear and i had a fun time perusing the garden section of our neighborhood superstore. we bought lots of seeds, some new bulbs, and dirt. my parents revealed the sad news that they will not plant a big garden this year, so the free veggies i was counting on mooching off them in order to satisfy my veggie cravings will be out of the question.
so i have attempted to start some seeds from scratch and hope to see sprouts in a couple of weeks. in addition to my pots of herbs, cherry tomatoes, and green beans (which led some neigbborhood kids to ask about the trash cans in my back yard), i hope to plant some yellow squash, cantaloupe, cukes. hopefully they won't cross pollinate. i may be crazy for attempting to plant a garden the same summer i'm expecting, but the grocery stores rape you financially, and my appetite certainly won't get any smaller. plus, it makes great "home-schooling" for my baby bear. (when we were in wal-mart, she saw tulip leaves sprouting out of some trays and exclaimed, "look mom! tulips!" she recognized them from the leaves coming up in our flower bed.

well,those are my daily adventures, minus the chores i completed while hubby was enslaved today. i haven't dared to open my e-mail yet... bare with me while i get back into the groove, but i do plan to not spend the same obsessive amounts of time online as i have enjoyed smelling the flowers and chasing baby bear around the yard.

disconnected

my computer is dead... battery is dead, and the cord's short which required us to position it "just so" in order to use or charge the thing turned into a full fledged fire hazard when it sparked just after monday's post. i'm glad to see the post went through.

if you need to reach me, hopefully you have my phone #. i may try to go to the library, but i'm not sure if checking e-mail there will really happen with a 2 year old..


so.... quick baby update. HB was 144 BPM at today's visit. My OB had to rush off to deliver a baby. I forget she does do that for other women, too. ;) U/S has been scheduled for April Fool's Day (no joke). I gained 3 lbs since my last appt. Baby Bear got to hear the heartbeat, too. She was more impressed by the toys in the waiting room. But for the past 3 days she has been saying there is a brother in mommy's belly. Is God telling her something we don't know... we'll find out. She had previously been consitently switching between predicting boy or girl, but for 3 days her prediction has been the same. Hopefully she won't be too diappointed if it's a sister. She'll get over it, if she is.

So, see you when I get back. If you need to reach me,e-mail my sis, sis's in law, or mil if you don't have my phone # already. Hopefully I won't be offline for too long.

hasta luego...

you might be a mom (or mom to be) if....

• you're working at the check in table for a gathering of moms and you immediately think of the woman's child's name
• you see someone with a stroller you've been drooling over online and have to stop and ask their opinion of it
• after previous conversation, you know what stroller you have to get "this time around

those are just today's "mommy moments", or the ones i can remember off the top of my head.... feel free to add to the list in the comments!

let's compare

1st pregnancy (baby bear)

• beef aversion
• puked several times a day during the 1st 2 trimesters
• lost weight before gaining ANY
• sis predicted a boy

this pregnancy

• beef cravings
• chicken aversion comes and goes
• morning sickness began around 8 weeks, but (so far) has hit no more than 3 times a day, usually just once or twice
• gaining slowly
• predictions, anyone? ;-)
  

It's not really Spring yet.
We might get snow tonight,
so I rescued these daffodils from the garden.

They smell as pretty as they look.

Psalm 139- ESV

Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

139:1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.

7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. [1]
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.

19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20 They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain! [2]
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22 I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts! [3]
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting! [4]

***

Ok, yankees... do you want a laugh?

The biggest snowfall of the season has been forecast... 2-4" in our area, 6" just north of here. It should start tomorrow, but it's been so warm, if it accumulates at all, it will not be until tomorrow night.

I will confess, I cut my daffodil blossoms because I planted flowers to be able to enjoy them, and if they get too cold, they will wilt. I don't get dirt under my fingernails just because it's fun. They look pretty on my mantle, and smell pretty, too. I wonder how long it will take Bear to notice them in the morning and ask to smell them.

I'm trying not to get too excited. It's not like meteorology is an exact science, and it's not like the weather people have always been right. But it sure would be nice to use bear's snow boots and snow pants... maybe show her how to make an actual snow man. Of course, there was that big snowfall about 7 years ago, the one where the forecast was not all that big and we ended up with 7 inches and complete chaos on the roads.

I thought about taking a picture of the toilet for my Wordless Wednesday post, but I decided nobody else needs to see what I've been looking at the past 2 mornings.

The smell of Bear's play dough is not helping, but she's been begging to play with the stuff lately.

TP Tuesday 3/2/08

9 3/4 sheets

the excitement is growing faster than my belly

yesterday, the boys (hubby and grandpa) went out and about to do guy stuff. they test drove vehicles and went for a motorcycle ride.

meanwhile, tech mom, bear and i went out for some girls' shopping. we checked out a couple of baby/kids boutiques here in the memphis area. our favorite was mango street baby.

they had a ring sling i tried on. bear did NOT like having her mommy messed with, and kept yelling "take it off!" i liked the sling a lot, but not the price tag... the brand was something like rock star baby, probably because most of us don't have the rock-star money required to buy it. it was good to compare to the pouch style hotsling, which i liked at another shop but the salesperson was unknowledgable and only knew how to get it back in the package. and i think as a soon-to-be attempting first time sling-wearer, i like the adjustablity however, she LOVED their classic pedal cars and trikes, as well as their toys. we ate lunch near that shop after church today, and hubby even tried on a toddler backpack which would be perfect for hiking with bear. he found it all by himself. somehow, i am nervous about taking her on some of the trails around Fall Creek Falls without some type of restraint, and strollers are so darn awkward. we'll see if we actually get it, but i think it was one that inkling and henry david might even approve of! (if i can find it online i'll get their opinion, as they are our expert outdoorsmen.)

after dream shopping at the expensive shops, we headed on a mission to find fabric. tech mom looked at the $120 sling I tried on and decided she could and would like to try to make one. so after perusing hancock's she found a sweet pattern at hobby lobby which we think is gender neutral enough. we also found a coordinating solid, so she'll make it reversible:

I've been doing some research on line and found the following helpful sites:

www.mammasmilk.com
www.slingrings.com
Jan Andrea (lots of patterns to make your own)
Pretty Momma Sling

Cute Slings

Hot Slings
The Sling Station

They have links to patterns for making your own slings, if you are so inclined or know someone who will do it for you! And lots of good info for us ignorant people who don't know much about baby wearing.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm exploring my "crunchy" side...

• eating at wild oats/whole foods AND buying sesame sticks to bring home for a healthy snack

• considering natural childbirth (or normal childbirth options as NCB proponents call it

• babywearing options
  

I found link to a site that has patterns for making your own baby slings. Too bad I don't sew.

We watched "The Business of Being Born" last night.

I have to say, I am not a big fan of talk show hosts in general. However, this may be Ricky Lake's best work yet. I am glad I did not discredit the documentary based on who thought it up, as I have done with other so-called documentaries. Documentaries by nature document an agenda of some type. They are not so objective these days.

Yes, it is very pro-midwifery/natural childbirth. Yes, it criticizes aspects of the medical industry. However, it does not portray all OB's as Ogres, and based on my limited experience from working in the medical insurance industry for a couple of years, it portrays the red-tape people have to go through the get care pretty accurately.

What this movie does is challenge women to think for themselves. Do not accept the misconception that just because medical interventions (pitocin, epidurals) are becoming the norm, they are always best.

In my opinion, the growing incidence of elective interventions is another symbol of how we as Americans want the "easy way". Ignore the risks, or don't even find out what they could possibly be. If it makes it easier, sign me up.

As one whose first childbirth was completely scheduled and full of drugs, I can honestly say that given our circumstances, it was best for us at that time. I wanted hubby there. Period. He might not have been if we had not induced.

The main arguments I hear from people who won't even consider natural childbirth include 1) What are you trying to prove? and 2) We have the tools, why not use them?

In response to #1- So what if you want to prove to yourself that you can do something God created you to do? People train to run marathons all the time. They are applauded for their strength, while women who choose to attempt one thing they were created to do are often called crazy. What if you are trying to prove that you can do what's best for your baby, if nothing less than to give yourself and your baby that chance. There should be no shame in that.

I can't say I liked being stuck in a bed, unable to feel the lower half of my body for hours, and unable to move. I am a pretty lazy person, but laying that long was just un-natural. And I don't normally get drunk on alcohol, so why would I want the fogginess and drunk feelings that I got from the medications on one of the most important days of my life? Oh, and why was hearing from the lactation consultants that Baby Bear had "pit lips" AFTER she was born the first time I had heard that the drugs could effect our nursing relationship? They either left that part out of the breastfeeding crash course or I wasn't listening.

#2- Who says the tools/medicines are always best for baby and mom? I am not denying the need exists for them. My niece and sister may not have been here today if it weren't for fast-acting doctors and nurses who God placed in their lives when the placenta randomly decided it couldn't handle contractions anymore and separated. I have several friends who have needed c-sections for various reasons. THAT's what they are there for. And yes, the epi is there when needed, when a Mom decides she need a break from the labor.

Medical treatments and procedures have potential side effects to consider along with their benefits. Antibiotics kill good and bad germs and are not always needed. I don't think it's overly simplistic to compare antibiotics and elective obstetrical procedures. If my daughter sneezes, I don't put her on antibiotics. If she needs them, I do.

Whether or not I get that epi this time around remains to be seen... but I am not convinced that getting one out of fear that I can't handle the pain before I'm in the process is the best way to go into labor. (I wasn't before watching this movie, either, it's been a gradual process... beginning with reading The Red Tent.)

There, that's my rant. Maybe I'll just go down to the Farm and see if Ina May will deliver this one. But then again I do like my doctor, hospital and room service. :)

Nothing like waking up for milk and a granola bar and putting your two cents into cyberspace.

Click here to see samples of my Dad's artwork.

southern "hospitality"

so, i after she fell and bruised her cheek on a cd rack at the store, i asked her whether she wanted salad from Wild Oats or a corn dog from Sonic for lunch. To my pleasant surprise, she declared, "salad" without thinking twice. eating from their deli bar is always an adventure with the little one in tow. i can only imagine the realities of several kids that some of my friends face. their 3-salad sampler and a bottle of water are not much more expensive than a value meal (shoot, they are cheaper than for both of us to eat at sonic), and it's healthy. so we ordered potato salad, chicken salad with grapes and celery and poppy seeds in it, and greek salad with artichokes, feta cheese, and green and red peppers. well, i had her in a cart, but as soon as i set our food on the table, she wanted me to pick her up. we needed a high chair, so there i was, breaking whatever rule of how much weight a pregnant woman should lift, holding my 2 year old on one hip and the high chair in the other arm. a nice man looked up from his paper and offered to help, but at that point we were 3 inches from the table.

there weren't any knives in the little silverware area, and i wasn't about to leave Baby Bear by herself or put her back in the cart just for a plastic knife. the forks looked pretty sturdy, so i figured they might do the trick. well, baby bear didn't have a problem picking up her big chunk of red pepper and nibbling on it, but i know her... big bites don't usually get processed enough to make it to her stomach. or she drops the whole piece of whatever she's trying to nibble.

in hindsight, i should have turned around and asked the gentleman behind if i could take him up on his offer to do us a favor. instead, there were two women about to sit at the table in front of us, which was closer to the salad bar where the knives were available. so i politely asked one of them, who had not sat down yet, if she would mind grabbing a knife for me while she was up.

at first i thought i asked her in japanese. then, her belly bearing friend (i don't care that it was a flat belly to be somewhat proud of for a 40-something year old woman, she should have at least had the sense to not wear her real-estate company logo with her belly showing if she is indeed a realtor) asked, "what did she ask you?"

"To get her a knife." They apparently thought I was invisible.
"Oh, I thought she was offering a place at her table or something." The belly-barer replied.
"Really, if it's a problem, I'll pick up my 30 pound two year old, put her in the cart, squeeze past you guys, possibly bumping into you or other people, and get it myself." I wanted to say.
"If it's a problem, don't worry about it," was what I replied.
The woman was "kind" enough to do it, but she acted like it was taking up half her lunch break. I thanked her and Baby Bear and I had a wonderful lunch together.

But all I have left to say is those women must not really be from the South. Especially if one of them thinks 50 degree weather is warm enough for belly bearing.

Oh, our salads were dee-li-cious.

I bought the CD today.

(scroll down if you're not sure which one).
It's really good. Wow. I knew Daniel was talented. I mean, his whole family is. You should hear him harmonize with his siblings. I knew that in college He had a heart for leading worship and I liked some of his songs then.

Let's just say I'm leaving it in my car right now because I don't want to forget it on our 3 hour drive tomorrow. I love the scripture memory in Baby Bear's favorite CD, but definitely needed a change.

I was fully prepared to pay full cd price for it, too, since I do actually sort of know the guy. I won't be getting free tickets or anything, but college acquaintance counts as knowing someone if you actually talked to them, right? :)

Anyway, the CD was on sale for 9.99 at my local Christian bookstore. Woo hoo!

Wordless Wednesday: A Hodge-Podge

TP Tuesday 2/26/08

still 9 1/2 sheets
Almost 15 weeks

Zann, play along! Or how about the new mommies who are trying to lose their baby bellies?

Over 10 years have passed since I met Daniel Doss and Brian Wolski, two of the members of the Daniel Doss Band, whose debut CD on a record label is coming out tomorrow. We went to the same college, and our paths crossed. I always looked up to Daniel's sister for her cheerful outlook, and their family's God-given musical talent was amazing. I can't honestly say I was close to either guy, but that's okay (in fact, I'm not sure that both of them remember me, though I'm pretty sure DD does, since I lurk and comment on his wife's blog). They were still a part of a time in my life when God taught me that being "saved" was more than the legalism we as believers try to impose on each other and others, that were it not for His grace alone through Jesus Christ alone, faith would be empty and futile.

Anyway, I plan to buy my copy of their new album soon. I still have some of the chords to some of the songs Daniel wrote and we played in the praise band of the campus ministry we were involved in, and every once in a while I find myself humming one the tunes. It sounds like his music and heart for ministry have grown by leaps and bounds in the past 10+ years.

My fuzzy slippers are really red, not pink...

14 weeks

this shirt's still baggy, especially in back

what hides beneath:

as you can see, i'm on a pink-wearing kick lately. my 2 favorite tops for belly photos are pink.
i guess i should wear a more masculine color for future shots in case it's a boy in there....

imagination or reality?

the past few days, i think i have felt the early flutters of my little baby's kicks. they are very soft, hardly noticable. it's still early, at 14 weeks, but i like to think it's more than just gas.

The Faces of Autism Website

is a FINALIST in ideablob's February contest, thanks to everyone who had voted for it! Please click on the button below to ensure your vote gets counted and help Sunny win!

My heart is aching for several women this week. Between friends in real life and online friends who I have never actually met in person but am blessed to know, I know 7 women who have lost a baby in less than a month's time. Seven. Some of them had miscarriages and somebarely knew they were pregnant. One of them, Kristi, lost her little boy, Eli, around 16 weeks, and he was delivered still-born this morning at the hospital.

This song carried me through the grief of my own early miscarriage, and I am posting it with prayers for each of these women and their loved ones who need the arms of the Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit's peace to surround them.
****

Also, please keep a couple of other ladies in your prayers. Kimm is a Mom I met online who is 30 weeks along. She'll have some testing done tomorrow... she has had preterm labor, but is home now, and we're praying that her little guy will stay in a few more weeks! Click HERE to visit her new blog.

JoJeanne is a girl I went to elementary school with, and we reconnected online. She has had several miscarriages and recently learned she is expecting again.

Stick babies stick!!!

TP Tuesday... a wee bit late


9 1/2 sheets... I know it's been 2 weeks since my last belly shot, but I'm beginning to think taking one will be pointless. I can still get most of my regular pants to fit below what belly I have... especially the exercise pants and even the jeans. Unbuttoning them does help.

Anyone else want to play along? Take a roll of TP and wrap it around the thickest part of your belly. You don't have to be pregnant, you could use this as an alternative to tracking your weight loss if you are trying to get smaller instead of bigger! Bueller? Anyone?

growing before my eyes...

yes, baby bear is growing before my eyes. but today i decided to water the daffodil bulbs i transplanted a couple of weeks ago. plus, a few more had sprung up in the back, and i decided to put them in a pot of dirt and see if they'll bloom for me. the bulbs are pretty tiny, so i'm not holding my breath, but i have this pretty urn/flower pot thing that held the birdseed packets at our wedding, and the only things its held recently are baby bear's rocks. anyway, i decided to mix some multi-purpose plant food in with the water (yes, i wore gloves to keep the chemicals off my skin). and i decided to water the whole bed and the transplanted daffodils under the birch tree. i didn't feel like connecting the hose, dragging it out, etc., so it meant at least 10 trips to the faucet and back. the daffodils were also peeking through the ground at the biltmore, but none had bloomed yet. there was a really pretty purple flower that looked like a miniature iris... unfortunately i did not see it in the conservatory, where many plants were labeled.

anyway, i could swear some of my previously sprouted daffodil and tulip bulbs looked higher and i know for a fact a few more pushed their way through the mulch so i could see them in the 30 minutes i spent outside. there's a grand total of 16 tulips sprouting... out of 30-ish tulip bulbs planted. (if i remember correctly).

hello, my pseudonym is a wandering heart, and i am obsessed with my flower bed. my hubby wishes i'd take half as much care inside. but hey, he'll have clean gym shorts and khakis for work when he gets home, so he can't complain too much. today, anyway.

home from our "valentine's" weekend

we made it home safely. while baby bear partied with her cousin j, hubby and i spent a relaxing weekend in asheville. we went out to eat and ate too much (well, he ate too much, i ate for two, LOL), picked up some yummy ice cream and kept it in our freezer to snack on whenever we wanted, and visited the biltmore. "america's largest house" is simultaneously mind boggling, fascinating, and disturbing. the fact that a tiny village pretty much revolved around one family disturbs me. the architecture and sprawling gardens (which were obviously not blooming) fascinates me. i'm not quite sure if i'm more fascinated or disturbed my such excessive wall coverings such as 22K gold-plated burlap and pressed leather, but the library was definitely impressive. it was something like i would imagine the library in the beast's castle from a favorite Disney movie. i must admit, i was jealous of the floral design rooms (both of them) in the basement. and the bowling alley and indoor swimming pool. i am thankful that i wasn't raised in a society with so many rules and expectations. we think "keeping up with the jones'" is a problem today... try keeping up with the equivalent of American's royalty. hubby and i declared that we would be content in the servants' quarters (they were bigger than baby bear's bedroom). the audio tour was very informative, and made the 2 hour stroll through the mansion so much more interesting.

the best part of the weekend was spending time with my beloved, just the two of us. of course, we were ready to see our little girl again and checked out an hour before we had to this morning. throughout the weekend we thought of things she would have said if she had been there. the second best part was knowing she was spending quality time with her cousin, aunt and uncle.

anyway, i would like to go back when the gardens are in bloom. that shouldn't surprise anyone.

rest

Hubby and I are away. Our first time for just the two of us since Baby Bear's birth. Of course, I had to wake up to pee and can't sleep now.

Eating at a restaurant without a toddler is bittersweet. Sweet for the obvious reasons.... no telling her not to climb out of the high chair, fewer messes to clean up, neither of us having to get up from the table with her to explore the restaurant and make new friends. Bitter, well, okay, not really bitter, but you just can't help but think of the cute things your little one does or says while you are away from them. She's in good hands, and has a playmate her own age. She was so excited about going to visit her cousin, aunt and uncle.

I am glad to report the aversion to steak which hit head-on while I was expecting Baby Bear has not returned with this pregnancy (so far). Mmmm...

I'm going back to bed... we have a day of sight-seeing to look forward to tomorrow, and if I don't get more sleep, I will be dreading it.

updates

steph's new daughter kimberly was born yesterday! mommy and baby are doing well.

i splurged on that smoothie. and took bear to lunch at wild oats. you can tell that's what i fed her while she was in my belly, because she scarfed down the food pretty well, better than mcdonald's!

if hubby doesn't spend is per diem while he's out of town, then i reserve the right to claim it for myself. i am growing his baby, after all.

baby bear is loving getting valentines in the mail from our relatives.... i opened the mailbox and took out the mail, she saw the envelope, and said, "a valentine for me!!!" i had grand intentions of making valentines with her. that's about as far as we got... sorry.

happy valentine's day, everyone!

Thankful Thursday

I'm thankful for....

• my beloved. his unconditional love and support.
• my sweet little girl and the baby on the way
• my friends... in real life and online
• my dishwasher. have i mentioned how undomestic i am?
• my friend's healthy new baby girl
• bulbs that peek through the ground to tell me that Spring is going to come
• a daughter that loves learning new things, like how to kill slugs with salt
• my vaccum
• smoothie king... think i need to treat myself today
• sunshine
  

i've got sling lust...



It's reversible, black on the other side. And it's on SALE! I only used the snugli a handful of times with DD... it was too darn awkward to get her in and out of. Some mamas on my babycenter birth board recommended this brand... I like that it is not as bulky looking as some of the other slings I have seen. Anyway, click here or here to see what I am drooling over... I have to confess, the price of the one pictured makes it especially appealing.

I really need to go to sleep now. I tried reading to Bear in our bed, but after a few minutes of squirming and asking to go potty, she left the bathroom and walked to her bed. She fell asleep almost immediately. (Don't shoot me, Sam or Steph, or crt!!!) It's just not the same when DH is out of town.

As much as I am enjoying kindermusik with Bear, I think I'll be glad when it's over and can accompany him when he works near tech mom and dad.

small town life

we don't live in a small town, but i like to pretend we do. we actually live closer to the post office in the neighboring zip code than our own, and it is never as crowded as the other one. plus, one of the workers knows me and baby bear. this is a town that needs some stoplights due to the rapid growth in the area, at least at a couple of intersections. it has a quanit strip of antique shops, a kids' consignment store, and a hand-made jewelry artists' studio. oh, and a bed and breakfast and picturesque methodist church... white, with stained glass windows, and an old-fashioned steeple. it also has several new developments which will quickly transform the area into a not-so-small town, and rumor has it that home depot will be footing a retail project on the north side (but actually in its' county instead of our neighboring county).

we arrived at the post office, and bear immediately charmed the grandmotherly women who were in the lobby. they complemented her purple boots (thanks mad), white and purple-flowered hair bow (thanks bec), striped sweater coat(i knew that was a purchase i would not regret... she gets soo many compliments in it. they asked her name, and she replied. one of them asked her age, and she played shy, or "made shy" as they say down here in the south. so one of them asked ,"are you 2?" and bear exclaimed, "Yeah!" then they said the other little girls in n-ville better watch out, because she was in the running for the cutest. i confessed that we don't actually live in the town. "oh, that's ok, we'll claim you anyway."

anyway, after they left, i presented the mail i was verifying postage on. verified the amount... i owed 17 cents... i had forgotten to bring my stamps (other than the one already affixed to the envelope). i opened my purse, almost certain i had the change. i didn't. this was one of those times i really wish hubby would not clean out the car so often, because otherwise i would have had plenty of change in the door. anyway, i was told not to worry about it, just bring it in next time if i remembered.

now that's country life for you. :) i'm sure having the adorable toddler in tow telling her that mommy has a baby in the belly helped earn sympathy points.

Wordless Wednesday













(All it takes to close schools in TN.)

Today's the day!

Pray for my friend Steph as she goes in for her c-section today! Next time I talk to her or here from her, she'll be cuddling a newborn!

uh, oh....

our c: drive is getting full. time to go through my picture files and get rid of the ones that aren't worth keeping. all 6500 of them.

signs of spring....

more daffodils

tulips

slug
(baby bear saw it and immediately asked to go get salt to dump on it... we did move it onto the mulch first. hope slugs don't deserve sanctity of life treatment, because they aren't getting it from us.)

TP Tuesday

9 1/4 sheets
almost 13 weeks

Guess I need to eat more....

i love blogging...

but nothing beats a good long phone call with an old friend. then, as i flipped through the box of pictures and yearbooks that my parents brought from their house, bear found a picture from the Christmas dance at my school (which i helped decorate for, but don't remember actually dancing at, lol). she saw the previously mentioned old friend in it, pointed to it, and said her name!

speaking of said friend, steph, she's scheduled to deliver her 2nd daughter by c-section on wednesday. :) please pray for a healthy delivery and recovery for mommy and baby kimberly, and for big sister caroline to adjust well.

i could cry if i really took the time to think about everything we've been through in our friendship. that's how special she is. i wish texas were closer.

vicious cycle...

my toilets need to be cleaned.
cleaning them makes me gag and puke.
etc....

while most pregnant women's morning sickness is backing off at this stage, mine is getting worse.

i wish i could afford a maid.

THEN & NOW

11 weeks 4 days pregnant with Baby Bear, 2005

12 weeks with sweet pea
February 7, 2008

Many of my pics are trapped on my old computer (at least, I hope they are still there), which has the broken monitor and is not working with the other monitor we tried to connect it to. But at some point, some of the files were retrieved and put on here, and one just happens to be right around the same stage of pregnancy...

12 week checkup

My checkup. is at 3 p.m. cst this afternoon. Hope to hear baby's heartbeat! My morning/anytime sickness has picked up a notch, but that's not surprise. I knew it was too good to be true to not throw up once a day minimum! I don't feel like I've gained weight, but my shape is changing bit by bit... bump by bump, I should say (tummy and rear).

******

I've lost about a pound, which is not surprising. This visit was pretty routine; a review of medical history, my plans for birth, etc... the most exciting part was that we heard our sweet pea's heartbeat for the first time. It took the doctor a while to find it, but once she did, that steady swoosh of our baby's heart echoed through the doppler at 159-160 bpm.

heavenly sunshine and good clean dirt

it's 47 degrees here right now. sunny, clear blue skies with some fluffly clouds. in addition to the bulbs that have peeked through after being planted last fall, some old daffodil bulbs were poking though the grass underneath our bay window. i decided that this would be the year to move them. while underneath a bay window sounds like the perfect place for flowers, it's not when there's no flower bed there. the fronds get mowed with the grass, which makes it difficult for the bulbs to get the nutrients they need to bloom again the next year. anyway, there appeared to be 9 or 10 narrow leaves poking through the ground, so I grabbed my spades and knee pad and dug them out. the bulbs are pretty small, but you never know... maybe, just maybe they are big enough to actually bloom along with the others... as long as we don't get a deep freeze to stunt their growth.

i moved them under the birch tree, which is one place i didn't plant bulbs last fall. i covered them with extra starbucks soil (more coffee grounds than dirt) from my handy-dandy earth-pots, which tech dad handed down to me and will house my cherry tomatoes and whatever else i decide on when spring comes, and replace the mulch that i had cleared out of the way. i should probably go sprinkle some grass seed over the disturbed spots from which i uprooted them.

i thought about taking pictures, but i felt like i might be jinxing myself.

anyway, even if the transplant is not successful, i got some fresh air whie baby bear napped. and i didn't spend more money on bulbs. now to take care of some of the indoor chores i've been neglecting. maybe it will help if i crack open the windows and let some fresh air in along with the sunshine...

almost wordless wednesday(it's hard to practice yoga with a monkey on your back)

for more ww posts, visit 5 minutes for mom or the ww hq.

cravings of the day...

hummus: publix had it on sale, i bought the roasted red pepper variety along with garlic italian toast chips...

our breath stinks, but baby bear and i enjoyed our snack. and there's plenty leftover.

for dessert, i picked up raspberry sherbet and fresh blueberries... mmmmmm.

see what happens when you go into a store to pick up fresh broccoli and you're pregnant?

storm central

tornadoes are rolling across the south... they've hit hard in memphis and jackson, tn, and our sirens our going. maybe tech mom will post about her adventures in the storm on her blog. surely some of princess' antics are blog worthy.

pray for everyone's safety. apparently there were injuries at union u. in jackson, a nursing home in jackson, and there have been multiple car/semi pileups on i-40....

so far baby bear is sound asleep in he crib, oblivious...
****
10:35 p.m.- i made the mistake of peeking at baby bear and she sat right up. so i took her into my bed, where we cuddled for an hour. we've just put her back down in her bed, and i don't hear anything, so that's a good sign. as we tucked her in, she was talking to her winnie the pooh figurine.

2 dorms were destroyed at union u., and some students are still trapped in the rubble. they THINK they are ok. it hits close to home, as we know many people who have attended there, and i went to college just an hour north of there.

one of the towns west of here was also hit pretty hard, but so far all of our family and friends are safe, as far as we know.

this is what happens when the weather goes into the 70's during the winter....

TP Tuesday

9 sheets
(11.5-12 weeks)

I really need to make myself eat and drink more. My m/s has been worse, but I don't FEEL like eating either. I swear, B's aby Bear's going to gain more weight than me; she wants to snack whenever I am snacking.

I need professional help.

(with photography, that is. )

I stepped outside in the warm-ish drizzle to check the mail, and notice my garden's first crocus bud peeking out through the mulch. So of course, because of the odd fascination I have with capturing my meager flowerbeds' life processes, I present to you the next additions to my garden "family." Perhaps I'll get better at using the macro feature on my new camera, but these were the best shots I could capture today.

The spikes had surfaced last week, but I hesitated to photograph them for fear they could have been a stray clump of grass.

See the yellow tip of the bud, at the base of the green grass-like spikes? That's a crocus on its way...


Then I peered around the corner and found a few daffodil spikes shooting up in the flower bed extension I added last fall:



They COULD be tulips, but they look like daffodils to me. Time will tell. Let's hope they actually bloom, and the rest of the bulbs do too.

Welcome to a glimpse of the Southern USA, where contrary to what the calendar may indicate, Spring comes in February.

a full night' sleep....

aaahhh. went to bed around 11, woke up around 7:45-ish. BIG improvement.

i've been contemplating the question of whether or not to get rid of the guest room when baby arrives or ust have the kiddos share the nursery. i'm leaning toward the latter, though the thought of disrupting baby bear's great sleeping habits does not excite me. however, considering i am planning to breastfeed, sweet pea will be in our room for a good while anyway, if all goes well. (and
hubby may need that guest bed for himself.) since our couches don't pull out, i just really hate the thought of reducing our accommodations for company. we happen to like having our family visit. especially after a baby is born when they help take care of me. :) and of course, there are all the lessons kids can learn from sharing a bedroom with a sibling.

I've got insomnia again...

no shock, really. I had a snack and plan to try to get another wink of sleep before my alarm goes off and I have to wake up to make muffins for Teacher Appreciation at church.


But I was perusing some of my blogs, and noticed that one of my blogging buddies (who also speaks some Spanish, BTW) is in week 39 of her pregnancy. That means 1) she's probably getting somewhat uncomfortable 2) her precious DD doesn't know how her life is about to change.
Anyway pray for my friend Sara as her family's newest addition prepares to make her presence known!

Oh, and if you're like my DH and missing real winter weather, she has some great pics of their recent snow posted!

If you haven't voted yet....

PLEASE do so by clicking the button in my sidebar. You'll need to register and then vote for your vote to be counted. (Registration is free.) I have been following my friend Sunny's blog-summary of her kids' battle with Autism on her family's blog, Ode de Trio. Can you imagine facing the challenges of raising triplets as a first-time parent? Then throw extreme, confusing health difficulties into the mix....

I haven't seen or spoken with Sunny in person since college. But upon stumbling upon her blog a year or so ago, I have kept her family in my prayers. Now I know there was even more to the reason they were on my heart than I knew before.

I can see you!

I have a new widget in my sidebar on both of my blogs! I love it. I can see where people are visiting from. It's already helped me re-discover some blogs I had not visited in a while.

One of my bestest friends in real life is blogging!

Steph and I have been through a lot together. I met her shortly after moving here during my junior year of high school. Her hair was all the way down her back. We went to college together, and shared an apartment with another good friend. If you can live with someone (me) and still be friends, then you know our friendship is meant to be. Anway, I'm so excited to be able to go to her blog and see pics of her sweet Caroline and soon-to-arrive Kimberly! It stinks that she lives so far away, but this will help us keep in touch!

it's about time....

we managed to take down our Christmas tree before February. Barely. And in the process of putting away the decorations, we cleaned out a storage closet. Now we have another potential hiding place for our games of "boo" (hide and seek).

TP Tuesday

9 1/2 sheets.

one year ago

i awoke on the 27th of january, 2007, to take my 4th pregnancy test in a week's time. the 2nd line was darker than the other 3 previous tests had been, so my excitement grew. i was pregnant!

just a few hours later, an all too familiar feeling hit. "surely not." i thought. spotting turned into bleeding, bleeding turned into passing clots. the flow was still less than many of my normal periods, so i couldn't give up hope. it was a saturday, and i knew that going to the ER would be a waste of time.

by monday, when my doctor made room in her busy schedule, i had passed everything. in fact, the hcg level had dropped to the point that the pee test at the doctor's office did not detect my pregnancy. but bloodwork confirmed it. my doctor wanted to be optimistic, and we hoped that perhaps i was just earlier along than i had thought. i went back for additional bloodwork later in the week, which confirmed i had suffered an early miscarriage.

tech mom's recent post reminded me, in its own way, that i have a lot to be grateful for. while there are times i still wonder about the baby i almost had in september, i like to think that "Hope" is surrounded by doting great-grandparents who were waiting in heaven. hubby's uncle d is cruising the streets in a custom mopar that God gave him a garage for, and my little one loves the joy rides. pardon my theological-incorrectness, but it just helps. besides, who's to say that you can't drive a mopar for God's glory? my grandpa plays the harmonica, and exclaims "uufa" when the little one distracts him from a note. and he still has his duct-tape covered Bible and hand-carved toaster-tweezers.

anyway, as i pass these early morning moments of insomnia i am thankful. i have a husband who loves me. i have a beautiful daughter who loves everyone and exclaims, "mommy, i'm so glad to see you today!" hust about every morning. (where did she get her morning-person temperment? certainly not from her parents!) and though i am not particularly fond of the nausea and fatigue, i am grateful to be reminded that i've been given another chance to be a mommy.

Movie Reviews

so much for my college education..

baby's in bed quiet (sleeping or not, she's quiet)
kettle corn
root beer
cozy blankie
chick flicks (Kate & Leopold and How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days)
and hubby isn't here to whine about the movie choice, or to pretend he's happy about watching it

It's not too late!!!!

Haley is hosting a giveaway of some scrapbook kits. Go to her blog for details! She's doing the drawing tomorrow, so get over there and enter!

PLEASE VOTE:
an idea worth supporting!!!



A friend of mine I went to college with is on a mission. She and her hubby want to start an online support site for parents of kids with Autism. In a nutshell, their story is that 2 of their beautiful triplets started exhibiting symptoms of Autism after receiving some standard vaccinations. They have the chance to win $10,000 to purchase the domain/get the site started.

I am not posting to go into the whole vaccination debate (we have chosen to vaccinate and thankfully Baby Bear is fine so far), but I do want to encourage parents whose kids have Autism, regardless of the cause. Sunny's idea sounds like a great way for parents to come together to share their common struggles and stories with others who will understand.

Will you please click on the button, register, and VOTE for them to be able to see their dream turn into a reality?

(not-so) Wordless Wednesday

approximately 10 weeks pregnant

During my pregnancy with Baby Bear, I set up a website for tracking everything pregnancy related. Well, with 2 blogs and a facebook profile, and message boards, I don't need another thing to keep me busy, so I am going to mix my pregnancy updates in on here. OR maybe this blog will turn into a pregnancy blog for a while, we'll see. Sorry if anything is TMI, this is my blog and friends have told me a can be blunt. I haven't had many thought-provoking posts lately, and I am in the process of re-evaluating my habits and trying to change some for the better....

Morning sickness has set in (and not just in the mornings), but so far it's not nearly as bad as it was with Baby Bear. I know every pregnancy is different, but I attribute it partially to getting to stay home instead of having to face a stressful job every morning. Thankfully, I have a patient hubby who puts up with my domestically-challengedness (yes, that's a word, at least in my vocabulary) under the best circumstances. Other symptoms? Insomnia... waking up to pee at 2 or 2:30 a.m., unable to get back to sleep til 5:30, breast itchiness and fullness comes and goes. Anyway, not much exciting at the stage of the game. We hope to hear our baby's heartbeat at my next appointment in a couple of weeks.

I am still very aware of the possibility of miscarriage, after what happened almost a year ago. But I also know that God has a plan and He is in control. He knows the baby in my womb. The hope of having another child in the near future warms my heart whenever I look at the precious toddler who is growing up so quickly before my eyes.

TP Tuesday



I don't think my belly grew much this week. It was about 9 1/2 sheets of Angel Soft around. For those of you who prefer a more standard unit of measurement, that's 37 inches, give or take positioning variations. Anyone else playing along?

Ah, the life of a pregnant women. Go to bed early, wake up early to pee, feel nauseous, snack, got online for a bit, and go back to sleep for a couple of hours before its time to get up for Tackle It Tuesday. I'm posting my to-do-list for the week on here. It's been a while since I did that, and while I got a decent amount done yesterday, I am gonna need some help staying on task... so here's the brainstorming session. I'll be back later to prioritize and update:

take ornaments off tree
tear down tree
put away Christmas decorations (yes, really)
sweep & mop floors
vacuum carpets
clean out fridge (the thought makes me gag)
clear off counter
change/wash sheets
grocery list
grocery shopping
tackle mount-old-baby-clothes: move to guest room from nursery, fold and put away

Okay, that's enough to stare me in the face the next time I get on here.

Hope everyone is having a good week!

W@H-TN meet-up

Some of the girls from the fabulous Women at Home message board came to Nashville this weekend. I got to join them for lunch. Our pixie waiter (skinny country boy who lurves him some collard greens from corky's) missed my camera in the pile on the table, or couldn't work it, but thankfully there were more than enough cameras to go around. I swiped this from one of their flickr accounts.


W@H is an online community of Christian women from various denominations, age groups, states, and even across the ocean. My favorite part? They are real. Honest. Quirky. Much like many of my blogging buddies. It's amazing to meet up with people in person and see how their true personalities really shine through in their messages. We'd love to have you join us. Oh, and rumor has it that some of the husbands have started their own knock-off board... W@H Widows. Of course, it willl never compete with the original.

Toilet Paper Tuesday....


Someone started this on the pregnancy message board I'm on. It's a way to keep track of belly growth instead of the standard tape measure.

I am 9 sheets wide, measuring around my belly button.

I think you non-preggo's should do it, too. :)

sharing the news, continued

hubby got the chance to share the news. believe it or not, while i had told a few people at church, we had not told the majority of our class. the last time we were there was before christmas, and tech mom and dad were with us- before we'd divulged the news to them. so when hubby casually shared that the ultrasound went well, everyone was pleasantly surprised. meanwhile, i got to show my picture to anyone who came by the nursery desk and wanted to see it.

the cat's definitely out of the bag. :)

life in a subdivision (rolling eyes)

we pay a homeowner's association fee every quarter. for what? apparently the rate increase has provided the necessary funds for someone from the management company to patrol the neighborhood and make sure all the petty rules are being followed. then they proceed to waste money by sending not just one letter, but two letters which state the same thing informing us that we'll be fined if we don't take down our christmas lights (our sole strand of icicle lights, at that) by the 16th.

i took down our lighted snowman earlier this week. hubby was planning on taking down the lights this weekend. in fact, we were talking about it on our ride home from shopping.
we were greeted by two letters in the mailbox, written on the the 10th, reminding us that our lights were not down and according to neighborhood ordinances, should have been. the letters were mailed on the 11th. today is the 12th.

really, people. the builder/developer is advertising street lights and sidewalks in the new phase of their neighborhood where it took us FOUR YEARS to get a retaining wall put in when they screwed up our lot, and 1/5 of the neighborhood has working streetlights, and another 1/5th (including our street) has lamp posts without electricity. not to mention the entryway lights which are currently not working, the trees/medians in need of care. they have the nerve to tell us that our lights were still up on the day they were suppose to be removed, when we have been waiting years for REAL problems to be addressed. oh, they must have patrolled the hood at midnight, they weren't really jumping the gun.

anyway, just a little vent on life in suburbia. guess we signed up for this when we bought an almost-all brick house, or something.

i can breathe a little easier

we saw our little sweet pea today. it's very small, but alive. the heart was beating well, and it measured 1.3 cm... right on track to arrive around august 21st.

we showed baby bear the picture:


"oh, how cute!" she exclaimed, planting a kiss on the printout of the ultrasound.
after reading steph's comment, i had to add this. a little while later i was looking at the picture and showed it to bear. "what's in the picture?" i asked her. "a fish!" she replied.

now if only i could get rid of this cough.

Tackle WHAT Tuesday?

The list of things I should tackle is endless. Unfortunately, I am coughing to the extent that I sound like a barking seal. If hubby hadn't moved up to the couch upstairs, he would not have slept last night. For the 3rd night in a row. My temp was 99.1 last night... not bad, but I'm not feeling normal today, either.

My allergy meds aren't helping enough. At least they help me breathe. But really, what is it with me and bronchitis?

I don't want to think about tackling anything. Where's my genie when I need it?

for pics of what we've been up to, swing by hannah bear's cave.

1st Thankful Thursday of 2008

• A loving, patient (with me) husband
  
• A healthy, vibrant, cuddly 2 year old daughter
• A tiny new life developing inside me, which has been fearfully and wonderfully designed by the Creator.
  
• Passing the 6week 4day point in this pregnancy, which was the point when I started bleeding the last time around.
• "Morning" sickness (that hits any time). I will tire of feeling sick but for now it lets me know that changes are taking place.
• The freedom to choose where, how and by whom our babies are delivered... unless God decides to have a sense of humor and we don't make it to the hospital in time.
  
• Sunny weather than actually feels like January.
• Friends and family who have been through loss of a baby and know exactly how to pray.
• Friends and family who haven't lost a child, but care and pray, too.
• Afternoon naps. Bear is down for hers; I think I'm going to take one, too.
  

Happy New Year, y'all!

happy year's end!

we're at caslon and camera guy's lovely home. we came here after spending time with my family on friday night and saturday morning. bear loves all the extra attention she's been receiving. she also loves leaf-hunting outside and looking for the real caslon under her bed. we'll see if she makes it to midnight tonight... we haven't decided if we'll let her try to ring in the new year with us, or stick to her normal routine.

hubby and i are going to miss having the extra hands and feet which play with and chase our little bundle of energy.

Pardon me while I redecorate around here...

Links will be updated... eventually.

I feel nauseated. That's a good thing today.

insomnia...

I woke up to pee 2.5 hours ago. I can't sleep. I find myself wondering if I can get my doctor's office to let me come in earlier for my firs official OB visit. What? You ask. You don't really know if it's real yet?

My body thinks it is. 2 positive HPT's and bloodwork at the OB office which showed my progesterone levels looked "absolutely wonderful", according to the nurse. But other than fatigue and frequent peeing, symptoms have not consistently kicked in. (The gag reflex doesn't count- I have than when I'm not pregnant.) Part of me is grateful, as I don't particularly like kneeling before the porcelain throne. But in light of last January, part of me wants more proof. My 1st visit isn't scheduled until 1/11. At the time, when the nurse told me the bloodwork looked good, I was thinking, "oh good, let's keep it later so we can see more on the first sonogram. I can wait." Ha. Me? Wait? Patiently? When have I done that?

Really, I just want some sleep. And to know that my baby is ok and my body is not imagining this.