Bear's recap of the day to Daddy:

"We had rockamoley and chips and cheese and Mommy lost her temperature."

Nothin' like a little perspective at days' end.  She also went on to tell him that I apologized for losing my "temperature," and as I tucked her in tonight (for the 2nd time), we prayed that she would be more cooperative and Mommy would be more patient.  And sealed our agreement with a "deal."

 Parenting brings out the best and the worst in me. (I'm sure it does for everyone.)  Those who don't know me well might never guess that I have a temper.  I am the one with the history of breaking out in tears at work when overstressed, I  typically avoid confrontation.  With family, well, it's another story.  The guard is down, and my dark side shines through.  Sometimes glaringly.

While Buddy naps, I've been trying to have Bear do a little school time in her workbooks.  Writing letters, coloring, practice with shapes, counting, etc.... She has the attention span of a 4 year old, and well, I am not used to that. Even my former high school students focused, listened, and followed directions better.  Sometimes. The thought has crossed my mind that it was easier to teach the 5 and 6 year olds at the tutoring center than it is to teach my own daughter, and I wonder why.  But then I remind myself that she is already ahead of where some of them were (matching initial consonant sounds in words), and she still has a year before she goes to Kindergarten.  And I'm also more confident in my decision to go ahead and put her in a 3 day a week pre-k program at one of the local churches.  

my procrastinaholicism reached a new low

One might think I exaggerate how badly I tend to put things off.  I don't.  If you don't believe me, this will convince you.

The missing referral my sis mentioned in her recent blog post?   Mine.  I got the letter in early February.

Anything that looks like a big project makes me freak.  Housework, for instance.  I wonder how much it would cost a professional organizer to come help my purge and sort this place and the storage unit.  Hubby is sick of stubbing his toes on the kids toys in the living room.  (I say we need a bigger living room.) 

Yeah, well, for once my irrational nadaphobia (my word for fear of nothing) impacted someone else more than myself. She's accepted my apology.  (In her words, she "knows how I roll.")  The referral is in the mail, the other missing links in their adoption process are being filled in, and soon they will be one step closer to having a brother or sister for my niece, J.

It's not even that I didn't want to do it, I was honored to be asked.  Let's just say that I'm glad I'm not the one going through a psych eval right now.
****

Geez... that'll teach me not to talk about the 2 books I'm reading simultaneously.  Much less compare and contrast.

I reread a previous post and realized that I wrote something totally different than I meant to.  Thank blogger for the edit option.

my Mii is not my friend right now

Up 7.7 lbs in 39 days.  I blame it on the Easter Bunny and my trip to Seattle.  ;-P  Hubby is home this week, so it looks like I will try to make it to the exercise room.

Only 8 more pieces of Easter chocolate left.... for all of us.

it's a simon and garfunkel moment


Okay, maybe just the first 2 lines of the lyrics, 4 perhaps.  But I LOVE the melody to the song Sounds of Silence.

And with that, I've forgotten what I was going to post about.  Oh, yes, sounds...

After visiting several churches in the area over the past few months, we think we've decided on one to stick with for now.  It's been tricky.  But the more we have visited, the more our desires have become clear.
Christ-centered theology.  Hearing the trite, over-used phrase, "God wants to bless your socks off," or a variation thereof in many larger denominationally affiliated affiliated churches has made me gag.  When did they become cousins to the pink-haired TV-preachers or MLM conference speakers? (Ok, well assuming the pastors of these churches and the individuals mentioned here are Believers, I guess they would be cousins.) Now, don't get me wrong, I do believe God loves me. John 3:16, duh.  But is blessing my socks off his primary purpose?    How about Micah 6:8?  The Beatitudes? 

I post in hopes that I don't hurt anyone's feelings, because most of the churches we've found have been very friendly and the people seem to love Jesus very much.  It's been nice to feel that most places we visited, we have been welcomed and our kids have been loved well.  If Nashville was the buckle of the Bible belt, I think we're at one of the holes in the leather. We found a few of churches with good Bible teaching, but TERRIBLE music.  Either too rock-concertish and not worshipful at all or too simplistic and also not worshipful in the opposite extreme.  Both extremes can be hokey, period, and distract from the teaching of God's word.  We love contemporary worship songs and classic hymns, all with theological depth.  We also love the use of various instruments to assist in making a joyful noise to the Lord.  Not trite choruses sung repetitiously over and over and over and over.  Nor do we particularly care for 1930's genre "gospel hymns" that are not really singing the Gospel message at all, but some kind of moral code.

A solid children's ministry  is also a must... preferrably with some kind of childrens church during the worship service.  And finally, the service times had to fit.  We discovered that Sunday morning is best for us with hubby's schedule.  Early rising during the week makes Sunday evenings HARD to do for our primary worship service. 

So, yeah, it's been hard , but after visiting around a 15 mile radius, I think we're ready to stick with one to see if that's where God wants us to plug in and serve. When Bear was dismissed from the service to go to their Preschool Praise class, I was thrilled when her teacher recognized her.  It had been at least 2 months since our last visit.  The music was not really close to what we were used to in Nashville, but it was good, God-centered, and heartfelt.  The Pastor used a Psalm to teach how David made clear choices toward godliness when he could have sought his own agenda.... in essence, he could have killed Saul, but decided to wait for God to accomplish His will in His time.
 

One more added to the list of "things I started but didn't complete"

If you are my friend on that virtual social-networking world that has replaced my blogging addiction, you figured that out.  If you happened to stop by here and noticed the absence of posts, you probably suspected as much.  Maybe next year....
 *****
I have a confession.  Nothing major.... in spite of my ability to sometimes ramble incessantly, I just can't be too transparent on here these days.   I became a fan of something that I thought was another of those silly, cool little quips because it made me laugh.  "Hair in my coffee."  It turns out that I became a "fan" of a blog I had never read.  Well, as soon as those little updates popped up on my status menu, I realized my error.  And I clicked. And read. And now I really am a fan.   The author of the blog is also posting chapters from her novel.  I like it.  A lot.  Better than "The Blind Side," my current read on my nightstand (no I have not seen the movie yet).  Two totally different books, btw, not fair to compare really.  My favorite part of "TBS" is flashbacks from our time in Memphis.  And for the record, I have a really hard time visualizing Sandra Bullock as the Mom, so she must have done an excellent job and deserved the Academy award...  the Mom in the book really comes across as much more "East Memphis" than I ever thought I would see Sandra play. 

Kristin's story is totally different than the one which Sandra plays.  (I like TBS so "well" that I can't even remember the poor Mom's name fight now!)  Her main character is someone I could imagine having cut my hair (except I'll probably never have that done on a set).  Very likeable and relatable, IMO.  Anyway, I need not compare these two works, because they are totally different stories.  But let's just say I think I will like the movie better than The Blind Side book for the simple fact I'm not big on all the football explanations.  They're like reading a technical manual, albeit a well-written one. (Anyone want my copy when I finish it, with that stellar recommendation?)
*****
Hubby's home again.  Thank God.  In a couple of weeks, we'll venture up to his former homeland to visit Great Gram.  I hope Buddy doesn't bite her or break any of her limbs by trying to climb on her.  We passed our local organic farm (where we just bought some flowers for our balcony 2 days ago) on the way back from the library today, and she saw the calves and said she wants to get a cow someday.  I told her to take that up with her Dad, and she can see some in a few weeks when we visit Great Gram.
*****
I think I'm going to go over on my broadband Prozac this month, even though I only have 2 days left.  Yep, you read that right.  My internet access in limited by Verizon.  We set up this account in the moving transition, and the contract is not up yet.  At one point we really only used about 1/2 the data allowance per month.  Then reality hit after we moved.  I truly am addicted to aspects of the internet. Oh well, we'll take it out of Hubby's per diem.

I have not quit yet.  :)

Yes, I slipped a couple of times, but I am not quitting my goal.  In my usual unorganized fashion, I have not done a very good job of keeping tally of how much $$ I have saved by drinking water, but our family's juice supply lasts longer these days.  I got to thinking that if my child were doing something like this, or anything, really, and made a mistake, I would encourage her to keep trying.

It does help that I get a "grace day" on Sundays.  That first week and a half was really hard.  Really, really hard.  Between dealing with the everyday stresses of 2 kids, hubby away, and PMS.  But I survived, with just a couple of slips.  Including a frosty from Wendy's... that doesn't count as a beverage, right?  Hubby said it's a dessert.

In addition to realizing how easily drinking water is available, I have become more aware of the general availability of clean water here in the USA.  Laundry water, dish washing water, bath water, plant-watering water, you name it...

i cheated

I had hi-c orange drink with my value meal today.  I am contemplating quitting and just making a donation to Blood:Water mission.  Not sure I can handle having my husband out of town with only water to drink....  I mean, I made it through the worst few days of the month for me to not have anything else to drink, surely I can do this... maybe?  Maybe not...  I'll keep you posted.

2 days down.... :)

This water-as-only-beverage thing is hard, but I am not going through juice nearly as quickly as I normally would...  I wonder if I can factor in that cost savings to add?

When Bear was getting into the tub tonight, she, in her best authoritative princess tone, asked us to bring in a bucket of water.  I told her we had a faucet so she did not need a bucket.  Then she saw her gladware "toys" in the tub and exclaimed, "oh, there they are!"

This got me thinking.  The areas that lack drinking  water probably lack clean bathing water, too.  When I spent a few weeks in a small rural town in Northwestern Mexico, I was advised to not even brush my teeth with the ground water, but to use bottled water.  Fortunately, they had the huge 10 gallon tanks brought in, you know the kind you might see in an office here.  And if water was running low, one of the neighbors was sure to have a bottle of coke in their little front porch tienda, or even better, helados (ice pops made of juices frozen in plastic baggies).

The spigot on the pump in front of the house where I stayed did not look like anything I would want to wash my hands in, much less drink from.  Who knew what kind of chemicals from the surrounding crops ended up in their water supply. But that was what the families were used to... I remember one little boy with eczema so severe, his brown skin cracked so you could see pink underneath.....

Just think that most parts of Africa are even more remote than the most rural, impoverished places in the United States. (And yes, there are places in our nation which warrant that description.) That village I visited in Mexico had the ability to obtain drinking water, even if there was only one telephone  for the community and the cattle shared the same road in as the pick-up truck.  The kids had a basketball court, the church had electrical fans which could be plugged in., and you might glimpse a hen sneak behind you while getting a drink from the water tank.  I once had a tick find my back while I showered, but we had ample water that was clean "enough."
*****
Today was harder, but I made it.  I took some more ibuprofen and an afternoon nap, snuggled with my 4 year old.  I put my coffee grinder up, and intend to find a place in the closet for my coffee maker to reduce temptation (and clutter).

A little "encouragement" from the guys in the band...








Ok, I must admit I took a couple of ibuprofen for a headache yesterday.... the coffee beans did not occur to me.  I could make my own chocolate covered coffee beans if I melted some chocolate chips... hmmmm.

 Slightly less frugalness...

We're getting cable.  Finally.  Not the whole shi-bang, but everything we need.  We've been surviving on the 4-6 channels that we can get with our digital antenna... ha.

When I told Bear we're going to get Disney and Nickelodeon, she jumped into my arms, gave me a kiss, and yelled, "yay!  I'm so excited!"

I'll just be glad to watch the rest of the Olympics.... we don't currently get the coverage.  That's what happens when the government decides to impose "technological improvements" on society.... you don't get the improvement part unless you pay, big time.

My son's tantrum will not break me.  I just wish I could figure out WHY he's screaming uncontrollably....

I never did figure out why, but he stopped.  And no, I did not resort to making a cup of coffee.

 

40 days of water: day 1

(I hope the folks at blood:water mission don't mind that I lifted this image off their site.)  A few days ago I  posted that they had issued a challenge for anyone to give up all beverages except water for 40 days.  I thought about it.  Thought I couldn't do it. (I think that about a lot of challenges.)  Prayed about it a little.

Interestingly, I've been thinking of giving up something for Lent in preparation for Easter for a while now.  Had a been raised Catholic, Orthodox, or in a Reformed  Evangelical denomination,  this might not be a big step.  However, for much of my life I equated any tradition other than Baptism, the Lord's Supper, and the celebrations of Christmas and Easter as somehow being tied into the law, the law from which Christ came to save us, and therefore completely unnecessary.  Honestly, I'm not sure where that came from.  I certainly don't have any scripture to support it.

Anyway, over the past several years, our family had the privilege of worshiping with a body of Believers who introduced us to more dates on the Christian calendar.  Not out of duty, but as an encouragement to help us focus our hearts on Christ in preparation for our annual celebrations. 

So, when it just so happened that the challenge issued by blood:water mission coincided with Lent, well, I had no excuse not to.  Other than, "I can't do that."  And that's the point.  I can't do it on my own.  After all, I've been sucked into my in-laws' coffee drinking habits.  Thanks to my parents' influence, I revel in my evening cup of tea, especially with my recent discovery of a great loose-leaf brand online.  And being the suburban housewife that I am, I frequent our local McD's, even after going to the grocery store located across the parking lot.  Their McCafe drinks have captured my taste buds (caramel frappe- yum!), and of course if I resist that temptation, there's always the Coke or  even a Hi-C Orange when I don't want all that fizz or buzz.

It's going to be an interesting 40 days, to say the least.  My cousin is getting married within this time period... can I have a day of grace at the wedding?  I'll cross that bridge when I get there.  

I woke up this morning and of course, the folks at b:wm had posted a reminder to their Facebook group.  I read it before even grinding my morning coffee.  Plus, I had been backing off the caffeine intake and upping the H2O the last 3-4 days.  Why back down now?

I am not a complete coffee addict.  I usually have 1-2 cups in the morning 1-4 days per week.  So this morning wasn't too hard.  I do love juices, which brings a whole different dimension to the challenge.  And milk.  Lately I've been craving chocolate milk, thanks to a picky 4 year old who needs her calcium somehow.

Well, I made it through the morning, lunch and afternoon.  The real test would be dinner.  Chik-fil-a has the best lemonade. Ever.  And guess where we were headed for dinner?  The breakfast buffet at the Chik-fil-a Dwarf House.  It's practically become a tradition since we moved here.

I did not even take a sip of my daughter's lemonade. 

Day One: $1.79 saved, plus tax

$1.79 that I did not spend on a Coke, Lemonade, or a coffee-ish beverage.  Even if I only save $50 to donate, I am confident that it will be enough to make a small difference for someone.  The fact that there are people around the world who would (and do) die due to lack of the clean water I "had" to have in place of my preferred beverage is very sobering.  

****

Ok, technically It's 46 days since I will be following the Lenten calendar.  But only 40 of those days are water-only, as Sundays are celebration days.... 1 day down, 45 to go.

ok, little birdies...

Any ideas on what to get hubby for V-day?  Is cooking him a good meal too generic?  Honestly, I'm just so glad he'll be home from training tomorrow night.  This gone-5-days-in-a-row-deal has been a pain.  I asked him, and he was not much help.   I already bought some chocolates, though they aren't as good as the ones he had sent to me.

Bear suggested we make a heart-shaped cake.  Sweet girl.  We still have a couple of pieces left from the cake we made last weekend....they are probably kind of stale, though.

an afternoon truffle break

Ok, so at this rate my dozen truffles will be gone before Sunday, the actual Valentine's Day.  I just stuck Buddy in his crib for his nap... he thinks I'm kidding.  I helped Bear build her comforter tent in the living room.  I finished folding AND put away my clean clothes, leaving one basket of the kids' clothes, one dryer load of sheets, and another miscellaneous load in the washer to go until Mt. Downy is scaled for the day.  And of course, I indulged in another truffle. 

This is the time of day where I want a nap.  I often take one.  But today I am determined to check things off my to-do list, no matter how mundane they may be.  So as Buddy jabbers in toddlerese from down the hall, Bear crunches on some leftover Nerds from Halloween right next to me, and the dryer finishes up this round, I take a bite.

Yum.  Must be Kelly's Coffee. It looks darker than the other one pictured in the brochure with a coffee bean on top.   It's amazing how the smallest little bit of chocolate can provide a rich "pick me up" on a bleak mid-winter day... along with the shortest phone conversation with a friend in between laundry piles and toddler tantrums.

a chocolate-covered Valentine's week

Hubby did good.  His wonderful sister told him that I had been craving truffles from The Cocoa Tree, and  he took the hint to heart.

Back when The Cocoa Tree was in downtown Franklin, Bear was still in a stroller, and one fall day one of my roommates from college and I strolled in to sample the truffles which I had heard so much about.  They did not disappoint, nor did the Mayan hot chocolate.  Well, that shop closed, but Bethany reopened in the Germantown district of Nashville a little while later.  I fully intended to pay the new location a visit before we moved.  You know what they say about intentions?  Well, I have lots of them.  Let's just say that hubby is the one who follows through consistently.

So last night I woke up from naptime (yes, when the kiddos nap, I nap, it's not often Bear goes down willingly) to the maintenance guy's knock, he handed me the box from UPS.  Alas, it was not from the maintenance guy (that would be freaky).  It was indeed from my beloved.

My present?  A dozen truffles.  I don't normally refer to candy as exquisite, but these truffles are not your ordinary buy-day-after-Valentine's-at-half-price.  And since the shop is no longer in driving distance due to our move, I can't just drive 20 minutes for my fix.

The adorable robin's egg and brown box is artistic in its own right.  It's solid construction hints that it contains better-than-ordinary treats.  Enclosed in the box was also a brochure, a "map" to help identify the flavors as well as a temptress for future orders.

So, my first truffle happened to be Liz's Milk Chocolate.  Simple, yet rich.  I probably should have payed more attention and saved that one to share with hubby.  He prefers the classics flavors, and this one fit that bill.  Milk chocolate shell with sprinkles on top surrounding the milk chocolatey ganache inside.  Heaven in its purest form.  Yes, it is "the one that everybody loves."

Last night, I tasted Karin's Irish Cream after I put Buddy to bed.  Bear was ecstatic to share a bite of Mommy's special treat.  Oh my goodness... delectable. Described in the borchure as 'The one that pours," it's a soothing blend of chocolate and Irish Creme at the end of a toddler-filled day.  I regretted sharing that bite with my daughter, oh how I wanted more.

This morning... why not have a truffle for breakfast? I opted to try Deborah's Chambord... "the one that stands out in a crowd."  Dark chocolate and raspberry flavored center, coated in white chocolate with a dusting of raspberry adornment.  This is the one that made me think "exquisite."  I have fond memories of the Jack and Ginger and Beck's Margarita from previous encounters... DC is a new favorite. Again, the giving mother that I am shared it with both kids.  My 18 month old kept pointing toward the box of truffles and chanting "dis" (this in toddlerese)... he wanted more.  I gave him a Hershey's kiss instead, and that seemed to subdue him.  Note to self: stop sharing my priceless treats with the children.

I'm blogging about these to remind myself which ones I like the best...  these truffles are really that good.  Thanks, Bethany:Chocolatier, for the cure to the common chocolate boredom.

40 DAYS OF WATER?

Blood:Water Mission is holding their "40 days of water"  fundraising/awareness campaign soon.  I'm seriously thinking about doing this and journaling about it on here.  Anyone care to join me?  If I read correctly, the fundraising aspect is that one would donate what they saved by not buying other drinks to Blood:Water Mission.

This is an awesome charity set up by the guys in Jars of Clay.  They are passionate about living out their faith and God's love for others in a tangible way.  Check it out!

Who knows how to make a link button?

I would love one for my sidebar that says "Praying for Kara Faith."

If you don't know her story, visit her blog here.

Am I losing it?

I could have sworn I posted about my stroller options way back when I was planning for Buddy's arrival.
Maybe I just posted all that to FB.

Anyway, I ended up getting the joovy caboose ultralight.  And just when I thought Bear would be too old and uninterested in riding, yesterday's trip to the post office proved me wrong.  I had a reusable grocery sack full of things to mail.  The line inside ended up being fairly short, only 10 minutes or so, but that short wait was helped by the stroller's presence.  You know that time of day where they are ALMOST but not quite ready for a nap?  (Well, if you are lucky and have kids that nap.)  Well, it was about 1:30 p.m., and in spite of her firm opposition, BEAR NEEDED to take a nap.  Lucky for her, I had things to do.  Anyway, handy little lime green stroller did the job.  Bear in back on the bench seat, Buddy up front with his sippy cup.  I have to say, the harness with shoulder straps is just what he needs.  He would be climbing out of just a lap belt.  Bear did not nap, but she rested in her seat and observed those around us.

Anyway, if you are interested, here's the summary of my take on the stroller:
Pros:
Lightweight...
Easy to set up/fold (but NOT one-handed)
Handles well (Remind me to post about the stroller-jacking if you don't know the story and want to read it)
Slim depth when folded- Groceries fit on top when in the back of my older highlander
Carseat adapter worked fine (although the little strap-on thingy was kind of annoying- but it would be hard to accomodate every brand single infant carrier's snap-in needs)
Both kids seem comfortable
Parent organizer works GREAT for 2 cups, a wallet, fruit snacks, etc... and the cups or bottles STAY PUT
Umbrella is HUGE, covers both kids
Pockets in back of front seat serve as holders for older child's "treasures."

Cons:
Not one-handed... gotta have kiddos buckled in before you fold it up.
Might be too big in smaller vehicles, but what double stroller will fit.
Storage space is very small if you carry a big bag, and older child must get off bench seat to access. My solution- she helps carry shopping bags.  Big purse stays on my shoulder.

There you have it.  Bottom line-  If you are looking for a "truck" that carries everything under the kitchen sink, this won't work.  But if you want something fairly maneuverable that carries your kids will, including a 4 year old and newborn +, the joovy caboose ultralight will do the job.  Extra bonus- a friend recognized me in the parking lot as I buckled the kids in because she remembered our stroller when she saw it.  (It's somewhat unique.)

Really?

So, I just got an e-mail which could result in an opportunity to review a pretty neat gadget.  It appears to be legit;  I'm going to call the sender tomorrow to try to verify.  I'm a bit wary... I mean, solicitations just make me a bit nervous in this era of rampant identity theft, etc.  So, I sent a e-mail response asking her to prove it's a legit request. Oh, I also sent an e-mail to the customer service of the company asking if they can verify her employment.  Although it is a large company, and odds are I might not get a CSR who will be able to dig to that extent. My lack of overwhelmingly huge blog stats could possibly kill this opportunity.  I don't know how to tell how many unique visits my blog gets daily, and could not find it anywhere in my profile/account settings.

The cool part (to me) is that they said they got my blog address because it was nominated for the Mommy Blogger Awards.  Really?  My blog?  Me?  I mean, I feel like I've been pretty stagnant and boring lately.  So whoever may have made that nomination... thanks!  Even if it was, oh, say a year or two ago before my FB addiction almost replaced the blogging one.

Which leads me to ask... who's still here?  I see 8 followers in my little gadget in the sidebar.  (Thanks for revealing yourselves, BTW.)  I am not really the most savvy blogger... I removed my pride (and depression)-inducing counter ages ago.

Anyway, just the idea that maybe I could have a reason to revive my blog is kind of exciting.

Once again, It's bedtime and I can't sleep.  I tucked Bear into bed around 9:30.  Into my bed, I might add.  It's become customary for her to sleep in my bed when Daddy is away.  When he's home, back to hers she goes.  Until she wakes up at some point in the mid-late morning and sneaks in.  So much for all that sleep training we did on her.  :)

I'm finding that letting her stay up after I put Buddy into bed is good for us.  We get some Bear and Mommy time, something she craves and we both need. 

Still waiting for inspiration for the ultimate blog post or theme idea....

There was a point where I could write about anything and/or everything on here.  Right now, I'm just not feelin' it.  Perhaps it's because it's 5:23 a.m. and I would rather be asleep.  Or maybe, I just don't feel like being brutally honest with the blogosphere and need to write a good old-fashioned-paper-journal entry to process my thoughts.

It's been good having hubby home from training for the weekend.  This stint is much shorter, thank God.  And much less stressful for him.  I love having home.  The kiddos love their Daddy, and he obviously loves them.  It's nice to have someone who will share the hours of being used as playground equipment, and I must confess, sometimes I turn my Mommy self off and let him "handle it."  "It" could be anything from putting a dvd in the player to a tantrum to a diaper change, but it's just nice to have him back to do this part of who he is.  I don't know how military Moms and single Moms do it. 

So, I've had people ask and have been asking myself... what career would I have if I wanted to work in a monetarily paid position?  I don't know.  That bothers me.  I wish I could say it bothers me because I am so overwhelmed with joy where I am at that I would not ever want to be doing anything else.  Nope, I'm actually a bit in the-burnt-out-lost-myself-and-feel-like-I-do-nothing-well mode.  (That might have something to do with the lack of recent posts.)  Don't get me wrong.  I love my family.  But I am not Martha Stewart, June Cleaver, Carol Brady (who had a housekeeper, btw), Rachael Ray or anyone else.  I'm me, whoever and whatever that is.  I wouldn't go back to teaching without getting my Master's Degree, but I can't see myself going back to school anytime soon.  Customer Service?  Umm... so I like to think I was good at that, but I can't say I loved it.  Tutoring?  I miss my kids.  Even though I only had most of them for a short time, I miss their unique personalities, and I enjoyed the networking aspect of managing the center. Retail?  No, thank you.  BTDT.  Unless I got some really cool product along with my wages. And I don't mean samples that I had to buy (even at a discount) for my inventory or show, I mean genuinely free goods. 

I need to go back to sleep.  I actually feel like I might be able to right now. That is a good thing, unless of course one of the littles decides to wake up uncharacteristically early.  :)

Wandering back around...

A very popular networking site has pretty much replaced my blog for a while.  However, status updates are not exactly the same as an entire blog entry.  The just provide a glimpse, and that's about it.  A blog, for me, has been a bit of a journal in the past.  No, I haven't posted my most intimate thoughts here, but I have expanded on some of those glimpses.  Plus, there are certain things I really don't want everyone I know to read.  And I KNOW that not everyone I know reads this.  So right now I am in the process of figuring out what to post where.  I don't want all my FB friends and family to see my exercise log (or lack thereof).  If you are reading this, it means you have stuck around long enough to care (or not) about what I write here.  You obviously aren't going to judge me on my grammar (or lack thereof), my "outline" (or lack thereof- hence the blog title), my frequency (or infrequency), or my maturity (or immaturity).

So, my wandering for tonight....
Hubby's new job is going well.  He's learning a lot, challenged by what he does, and feels like it's a good fit.  Words can't express how proud and happy that makes me.

But... we have to get used to his travel.  For now, at least.  I really don't know which is harder... having him work midnights on the beat in an unsafe area of the city, or just having him away from us for a few days at a time. 

Exercise Log

Tuesday- 15 min Wii Fit, 30 min My Fitnesss Trainer Wii game (MFT)
Wednesday- 22 min elliptical
Thurs- 10 min Wii Fit Hula, 20 Min MFT

The goal- Do something every day.

Bear tried to exercise with me tonight.  It was cute.  She has her Mommy's "coordination."
 ****
Saturday - 20 min elliptical, 3 sets arm weights

observation
Whether people admit it or not, apologetics, i.e. defense of ones beliefs, are everywhere.  Just as the devout Christian will defend his or her faith, an agnostic or atheist will explain their unbelief.
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a·pol·o·get·ics

(ə-pŏl'ə-jět'ĭks)    n.   (used with a sing. verb) The branch of theology that is concerned with defending or proving the truth of Christian doctrines. Formal argumentation in defense of something, such as a position or system.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2009 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
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Moving on...

new year's stuff

fitness- day one
Attempted to exercise using wii fit.  Bear took her turn and then got mad when I took over for myself.  Buddy tried to climb on me and the balance board.  I think I got about 6 minutes of hula hoop in along with my body test.. but at least it said my Wii age=my real age!  Set up "My Fitness Trainer" game profile (age, weight, measurements, etc...) while kids ate a snack.  Did 30 minutes tonight.... tried the yoga on it... like the Wii fit yoga better... way better for telling novices like myself how to do the poses....  did 15 minute cardio workout and 15 minute core strength workout on the Fitness Trainer.  I like it overall... takes personal data and tries to give you an appropriate workout, also asks you how you felt about segments (too easy, made me sweat, too hard).  After the kids were in bed, of course.  Now to get hubby to set up a profile.  :)  I will definitely keep using the Fit for some activities, but the new addition to my limited repetoire raises my heart rate better.

time management- day two
I am completely opposed to over-structuring.  I am also indecisive and often get stuck trying to decide what task to tackle first.  I used a planner through college, somewhere along the way it got buried.  Plus, the Franklin Covey was just too bulky.. even the smaller one that I had.  Not to mention costly.

My little mead planner is working out well so far.  :)  Enough room to jot down what I need to, not enough to be overwhelming.  And it's cheerfully cute.  It invites me to use it.  And the pic reminds me of relaxing, fun times with the family.

Intentional parenting-
Bear is gung ho about her Job Chart/Job Jar reward system that we are trying out.  While trying to set an example through my actions, I am also encouraging her to be more responsible. (That's part of what's behind my whole attempt at some organization and self-dicipline without legalism.  How can I expect her to be responsible if I am on Facebook all day when I should be spending quality time with her, her brother, getting SOMETHING, anything done, etc...)
She even asked to help me fold laundry today.  Sheets.  That was fun.  Oh, but she did fold a washcloth that had stuck to her clothes AND put it in the laundry pile in the living room.  During Buddy's nap time we played Chutes and Ladders, ending with going over the #'s 1-100, since they are on the game board.  Not sure if she really liked the game or not... maybe we should have gone with candyland.


Little by little....

new year, new me... sort of

As you see here, I bought a planner for the year.  I did not want an expensive Franklin Covey or anything like that, but I wanted something that was fun to look at... something that would inspire me to open it up.  I found this at Wal-Mart, for about $6.  And I love the little photo sleeve!  It has just what I need... month at a glance and lines for my to make small lists of what I want to accomplish during the week.

I made a list before I went to bed last night. then I actually did 4/6 of the things on that list today.  It feels good to see check marks next to the things I got done, and to realize there were things I did that were not on the list at all.

I've got a multitude of thoughts running through my head.  You might catch glimpses of them on here if I post more than once a week, or if they make it to my Facebook status.  My track record with New Year's resolutions is pretty spoor, so I think I'll cling to Micah 6:8 and hope for a little bit of Proverbs 31 in there somewhere.

We had a wonderful Christmas, and you?

It feels more like fall than winter here in the South.  I have to admit that while I would enjoy a good snowfall, I like being able to use medium coats at most... all that bundling up must be a pain with little ones!

The sky is clear, sun is shining, and kiddos are out of trouble.  :)  Mostly.

I've got some ponderings and wanderings in my brain, but not ready to post them all.

Still investigating home-buying options...  big payment for what we would like and all that responsibility are not appealing when you have maintenance on call and are able to spend/save with less stress.

The kids and I are hoping to visit some friends who I knew in college.  We weren't super close, but I am enjoying getting to know them online, and have been praying for them during their adoption journey.  They live in IN now, but were matched with a baby here and are staying a little over an hour away til they are cleared to go home.  Yay!!! They have had quite the roller-coaster ride and I am so excited for them as they have been longing to be parents for so long! 

still dreaming/drooling/praying :)

Ok, so I am SO obsessed with one neighborhood that I took the map of the lots  that was given to me and wrote an S on the ones that are sold as listed online, and made notes on the ones I am curious about.  I even labelled the lots that border the 100 year flood plain.  Ha!  I think I will e-mail the sales rep and ask for a link to the CC&R's.  I did see someone with a garden in their back yard.... not just containers, a real garden.

I REALLY want a place that is big enough for family to come visit and not have to stay in a motel/hotel/campsite/the driveway.  It doesn't have to be huge, just have enough rooms to work with, you know? 

Of course, technically hubby has not done a lot of actual work with his new job yet, and technically we don't like the commute, so we should technically probably wait to jump into home ownership again. (and the only way the commute would be better is to move to an entirely different metro area.)  Thanksgiving at Caslon's made me itch for breathing room, well, outside at least.  We were kind of crowded inside, but that's just cozy when you are with the people you love.   And honestly, they have ample space for daytime, it's just sleeping that gets tricky when all of us invade.

so now I am praying for wisdom... when, where, etc...  that tax rebate is sounding mighty attractive.  I am loving quaint things about the town we have currently chosen for now.  Perhaps we SHOULD drive around and consider other areas, but I am itching to feel settled.

However, the good news is that hubby will be home with us on Tuesday.  Tech Mom and Dad are coming tonight, and we'll drive down to where hubby is tomorrow.  Graduation is Monday.  Yahoo!  I am so proud of him and ready to have him home! 

"Dream Building"

So, a few years ago, when we were first married, we were conned, I mean lured, I mean naive enough to get into an MLM company that was big into "dream building."   The problem with the particular company was that it was all about recruitment, sales of their products were secondary to recruitment.  Um, sorry, but ya gotta have a customer base to be able to earn those commissions, etc...

ANYWAY, one of the things we liked to do was walk through various homes in neighborhoods that were way out of our price range.  We were living with my in-laws at the time, and the dream of more space (although our space really was adequate and the savings we made by living with them while hubby finished his degree was priceless), well, it was fun.

One of our pastimes is still looking at homes, moreso now that we are in an apartment and I am getting stir crazy.

The problem?  The ones that are built to our desires for quality and space are either way too pricey or in the wrong school zone.  But we found one yesterday that had a perfect big yard with plenty of room for the kiddos to roam... the high school it is zoned to is the best in the county, the elementary and middle schools are not.  :( The floor plan is not perfect, but would be workable, and it's in a small neighborhood on a beautiful cul-de-sac, FLAT lot.  CLICK HERE to drool.

Other good points?  5-10 minutes from the interstate AND our pediatricians and grocery shopping.
Immaculately built, lots of extras included, like extra shelving in the master closet, tile backsplash in kitchen and master bath.... family run company that according to the State website of business registration has been around since '63, and the realtor we met was also the VP of the company/builder. 

So then there was another neighborhood, not far from this one, a little bit further down a countrier road.  Another regional builder, similar style homes and lots, significantly lower price point... but when we looked up that company, even though the sales rep said he had been around for a while, according to the state this particular business entity must have restructured because the date listed was much "younger."  However, that being said, this company actually offers homes in our preferred price range. 

Hubby looked in the attics of both builders' homes..... looked well constructed compared to the ones we looked in in Woodstock last month.

We're not in a rush, per se, but after walking through spacious homes I feel a bit stir crazy and cramped in my cozy apartment.

improvisation

What do you do when you have an idea for a project but lack the exact things or measurements you need? When it comes to cooking, I improvise. (When it comes to other things, I just put it off until it becomes a distant memory of an idea.) Well, between my searches for Christmas activities and friends' status updates and links on FB, and considering the fact that many of our beloved Christmas ornaments are in storage and will probably stay there this year, I thought we could make some ornaments of our own this year. Specifically: cinnamon applesauce ornaments.

I had applesauce in the fridge and cinnamon in the cupboard, so I should be all set, right? The problem was I did not have the exact amounts that any of the recipes called for. The simplest one said one part cinnamon to one part applesauce. I tried that. It was sticky. That's where the improvisation came in. I added flour. I should say, Bear and I added flour. So while I can't give you the exact recipe if you are interested, I can tell you that our mission was accomplished. We mixed applesauce, cinnamon, and flour and kneaded it to make a "cookie dough." We rolled the dough out flat on our cutting board, and used the only two cookie cutters that I could find to make bells and stars. (They happened to be in the play-dough kit. The other ornaments are probably buried in storage somewhere.) Conveniently, our tree is tiny, so the size should work out perfectly. We had to keep sprinkling with flour to keep the dough from sticking, but in the end we came out with at least 20 shapes. After we placed them on a foil-covered cookie sheet, I took a skinny straw and punched a hole in the shapes. I baked them on 200 for about 20 minutes, turned them over, then baked them for 20 more minutes. they are cooling on the stove, and the best part is the house smells wonderful!

 Now Bear wants to make cookies we can actually eat.  She tasted this dough and said it's kind of yummy but mostly yucky.

The ornaments were still slightly doughy on the bottom, which turned out useful for making the holes a little bit bigger on about half of them. 
Another plus side to this recipe it's non-toxic, so if a 15 month old gets ahold of one and decides to munch on it, no harm done.

giving thanks (what a difference 4 years makes)

Our holiday rotation has brought us back to Caslon and Camera Guy's home. As I sit and type this, and hubby cradles our youngest niece, I can't help but flash back to what simultaneously seems like it was centuries ago and not so long ago.

4 years ago... Bear was 1 month old. Hubby was at training. I was a wreck. Our nursing experience was hellish. Really, it was. Bear wasn't gaining weight well, I was a brand new Mom with my husband 9 hours away. Tech Mom and Dad picked up us girls for the trek to meet Hubby at his sister's house and celebrate Thanksgiving with the rest of the family. I thought I had everything. Breast pump, check, baby clothes, diapers, etc., check. House keys for our return, check. Looking back, I am sure that my baby blues were PPD, and the stress of worrying about Bear's weight and our circumstances consumed me.

We arrived at our destination and realized that I had forgotten to make sure my bag was loaded into the car.

This year. Hubby is away for another training, which likely would not have been possible had he not gone through the first one 4 years ago. Thankfully, this time he was able to drive home Wednesday night and we headed to meet the fam at his sister's on Thanksgiving morning.

It's been a wonderful weekend... very relaxing, except for worrying that my kids might give everyone else their colds. I love that my in-laws can just "be" together. Hanging out, watching tv, listening to music, checking FB or blogs, playing some games, target practice, playing wii or a board game... sitting back and relaxing, in my case. I'm sure it hasn't been quite as relaxing for our hosts, but I am so thankful for them. Bear is playing well with her older cousins and adoring her youngest cousin. Buddy has been making less of a mess than we anticipated, even leaving some vases and other things alone so far. He prefers to climb up and down the stairs or look for the cat. The baby is about the same age as Buddy was last year at Christmas, and I can't believe how time has flown. How fast he's grown. I am so thankful that this bunch makes a way to be together for quality time, somehow, whatever it takes, at least a couple of times per year.

We have so much to be thankful for. God has blessed us with 2 wonderful kids, and in the midst of a lot of changes, it's nice to have a peace that passes all understanding when I am normally so accustomed to anxiety and fear.

another bloggy link
If we're friends on FB, you saw my status update about some friends from college whose adoption that seemed certain fell through. If you want to keep up with their adoption and church-planting journey, you can visit Emily's blog.

Little Joseph has gone to be with Jesus, after a hard life-long fight at just 14 months old. Please keep his family in your prayers. "He is all better now."

Dear Lord,

Please help me be a person who values relationships above circumstances; one who welcomes friends and family unconditionally and never makes them feel like they are intruding on something more important.

Amen.

Keep praying for Little Joe and his family.

Joseph and his twin brother Joshua are my friend Sandy's nephews. He has been in the hospital since birth over a year ago. The doctors are telling his parents, "it's just a matter of time." Yet he keeps showing his Mommy and Daddy that he has fight left in him. I cannot imagine the difficulty of watching such a little baby fight for his life since before birth... click on the link above to read their story on their Caring Bridge Site.

sometimes He uses the little things to remind us...

Do you ever pray for the weather to improve, but not really believe it will make a difference?
When I was in college, I spent about 5 weeks in Western Mexico... Sinaloa, to be exact. That's the state that is parallel to the bottom of the Baja Peninsula/Cabo. Well, Hurricane Rick was forecast to hit that area really hard. So a couple of days ago, Hannah and I prayed that the hurricane would weaken before it hit land. I haven't been in contact with anyone I met there since I left, but I think of them and pray for them fairly often.

Last I checked, it has weakened to a tropical storm. Oh, me of little faith. Just goes to show that God IS faithful, even when our faith is weak. Sometimes just asking is enough. In fact, sometimes we don't have to ask. Jesus intercedes for us. How amazing is that?

The family and friends Alaska cruise with Mark Schultz, Bebo Norman, and Joy Williams would be a good 11th anniversary trip... of course, we also want to try to get up to the Cape to see my relatives since I haven't been there in 15+ years....

hubby came home this weekend...
...and did not leave until this afternoon thanks to the belated Columbus. It was relaxing, and he even managed to get a little studying done.

A good friend is coming tomorrow and staying until Thursday, and then Thursday my parents are stopping by until late Friday on their way farther South.

sigh

I don't want to be Mrs. Negativity, but I am tired of hubby being away during the week. He's almost completed 1/4 of his training, so it is going by quickly. And I do have the better end of the deal... he got doused in pepper spray yesterday. But still, it's just hard. The kids know he is gone this time. I am making friends here, but last time I was surrounded by support, so literally. Neighbors, my parents within 40 minutes' drive, church family, long-time friends. I AM thankful that I don't have a new baby (or one on the way) to worry about. In fact, I've begun wondering if maybe two is enough. It is for now. We won't close that door permanently, so to speak, but instead of thinking about when we might want to try for a #3, I am zoning in on the two I've been blessed with. Or trying to.

We went to Kroger to buy ground coffee and more filters last night. Bear did not get into the car immediately as I had asked her too before I buckled Buddy in. She scared me half to death when I looked up and she was behind our car, a couple of feet into the aisle, oblivious to the car that had just passed. I yelled at her and tried to explain why it was not safe, and that she needed to obey and get into the car immediately when I open the door. (If you have kids, you can probably relate. Unless you are a super mom who manages to keep their kid on task all the time.) After I told her it would make me really sad if she got hurt badly, she said, "but you could have another baby." Huh? I responded by asking her if she would like another sibling. She thought for a moment and replied, "That would be wild and crazy."

She apparently knows that her Mommy is bordering on insane right now.

Like Bear's tutu? You could win a cute Halloween tutu set!

Decision made.

My sis got the tutu for Bear. It is SOOO cute! I am one of those people who is full of great ideas but usually lacks the follow through. SO I decided not to make the skirt myself. Well, when we had a notice stating that there was a package waiting Bear in the leasing office, and after the sweet glow of excitement on her face about having a package addressed to her, how could I make her wait over 2 weeks to open it? I was probably more excited to see it because I knew what was inside!

It turns out that the tutu works well with her gymnastics leotard. And a magic clothes hanger. ;)


Here she was, bouncing on the furniture immediately after opening:

Thanks, Bec and crew! Oh, and Miss Priss Tutus!

settling in

I am still far from having things unpacked organized,etc.., (and probably always will be). But our new town of residence is beginning to feel a little bit more like home. We've met 2 of the families in our building, as well as a couple of kids at the playground in our neighborhood. I'm learning my way around town, including some shortcuts. It's not exactly a huge town, but still... sometimes country towns are easiest to get lost in and around. Especially Southern country towns, in which there is no such thing as a grid system for streets and there may be multiple streets with practically the same name.

One thing I have always liked about the South is that it is easier to assimilate. People are generally a bit friendlier and less rushed, and things like holding doors open for those entering a place behind you, or waving at neighbors (even if you don't really know them) are not uncommon. Since we chose to live in a less populated area, that holds true. And boy, am I thankful. It's not easy to hear your little girl ask when she gets to see her old friends every day. Part of the reason I don't make phone calls is that they make me miss people more. Counter-intuitive, perhaps, but that's the phase I'm going through right now.

Anyway, while checking out the school of gymnastics, I picked up a brochure for a MOPS group. And decided to give it a try. I sooo miss the fellowship of my neighbors and friends back home.
I'm glad we went. The kids were well cared for, and I got a break.. some time with other Moms. Bear had a huge smile and a new pet rock from her craft time, buddy was good for his teachers if they held him. And I got a break.

Next... we headed to the castle park to meet some friends. This totally made my day. Bear and the 4 year old don't exactly play together all the time, but they get along ok, and my hopes are that they'll become good friends. The older boys watched out for my kids, Buddy tried to keep up with the big boys (and girls), and I am getting to know their Mom better each time we meet.

I'm so thankful.

On my way to domestic divaness? I think not.

However, it's been said that necessity is the mother of invention. I didn't take Home Ec/Family and consumer science/whatever the pc term is for the middle school and high school classes where you sew, cook, get organized, take care of eggs (or if you're lucky, dolls) as if they are your babies. However, my mom attempted to teach me the basics of sewing. So when hubby showed me his dress khaki's with a hole in the seam just below the pocket and asked if I thought I could fix them, I said I'd try. And I did. In less than 15 minutes tonight. I can also sew on buttons. Do I do either "properly", as in with correct stitches? Probably not. But who cares if the end result functions and looks decent.

While shopping with the big girls at the outlets in Foley, AL, I came across one last set of fairy wings. It didn't have a price tag on it. They did not have the rest of the costume in Bear's size, which is probably a good thing. Besides, I noticed that the wings were a slightly paler shade of purple than the purple on the costume they had at the store. Anyway, I asked the clerk how much they were, she want back to the stock room, and when she came out told me 9.99. Now, I'm cheap, and 9.99 is about what I would prefer to pay for an entire costume. However, knowing the store I was in (starts with a G), and noticing the quality was superior to some of the other wings in costumes I had seen... I decided to think about it.

We weren't going to shop on the way home from our trip to the beach. The outlets are literally on the route home, not out of the way at all. When hubby said he needed to shop for athletic shoes tha night upon our return, I suggested we swing by the outlet. Sure enough, he found a good deal at Shoe Carnival. And I stopped into that store... those fairy wings were still there. Still untagged. After waiting long enough for hubby to be perturbed when I got to the car, the manager gave up calling other stores (who didn't have any left) and gave them to me for the price I had been told 2 days prior. When I got home, I searched the G site, and the closest set I found was marked down to 14.99. I felt good about my choice.

But what about the rest of the costume? Well, Bear has a wand that Gramma gave her a while back. I thought about some fabric I had come across during our move... a swatch of antique lavender satin matching our bridesmaids dresses from our wedding, and some lilac/lavender lace. I remember thinking "what will I ever do with this?" But tucking it away instead of throwing it out. I found that fabric today....

So, can I do it? Here's what I have:

PLENTY of lilac lace

21" x 32" swatch of satin... I laid out one of Bear's skirts over it, and IF I make a pattern on paper first and very carefully mark out the pattern on the fabric, I might be able to make the skirt liner out of the swatch.


Here's what they look like together:



one set of purple fairy wings & one magic wand


The drawback... I don't have a sewing machine, and stitching in a straight line is difficult for me.

can I do it? OR should I take my sis up on her offer to buy Bear an expensive but gorgeous tutu for her birthday? Then I could try to make something that Bear might use longer... she asked me if I would make a purse for her out of the fabric.

vacation!!!!!!!!

We're in Gulf Shores, Alabama for our vacation with hubby's side of the family. I am so glad we are able to all make the effort to come together every couple of years for this week in paradise!

Buddy saw the beach for his first time today. Bear was not AS afraid as last time, but more cautious than her cousins. That didn't stop her (or me and buddy) from frolicking in the gentle, warm rain with the waves washing our feet shortly after our arrival.

I forgot my usb cable. Oops.

mystery of life

We are celebrating Buddy's birthday this week. He's officially a toddler. And a climber.
I can't believe how quickly this year has gone.

In the midst of my joy, I have two friends who are celebrating the mystery of life in a far different way. One whose little girl has been diagnosed with a very serious brain abnormality. Another as far across the country as you can get, well, almost... who just saw her new baby on the ultrasound screen, her 11th pregnancy, Lord willing the 3rd child she will get to raise.

I'm reminded that only the author of life has full knowledge and power. We don't understand His purpose, and we certainly don't get to choose the outcome. But I pray for the best...

God did miracles, I believe He still does.

Is it too much to ask for Him to display his power by healing baby Kara Faith, to defy what science says and restore her parents' hope?

Could my other friend's pregnancy please result in her holding a healthy, perfect, breathing little one this time?

Please, God?

all's well that ends well

We received some of our first non-forwarded cards mailed to us at the new address. :) One was a "we'll miss you" card, that really made my day.

The flowers hubby ordered were delivered to the office just as he came home, so HE delivered them to me in person. Nevermind that the bouquet was similar only in shape to the one he had chosen off of 1-800-flowers.... the florist must be colorblind or not carry blues in stock or something. They are still very pretty, and the kids are thrilled that I'm sharing my happy birthday balloon with them.

We went out to supper as a family, stuffed ourselves, came home to hang out, and now the kids are fighting bedtime. Hubby has taken bedtime duty tonight.

what does my day look like?

clinging and contrary almost 4 year old
baby climbing everything he can... chairs, couch, table, vacuum, but refusing to walk more than 1 step at a time
pmdd... if the meds are helping, i don't want to know how i would feel without them
laundry piles that multiply in my sleep
missing my friends from home
missing our home church
both kids resisting naps when all mommy wants to do is sleep

on the bright side....
cuddly girl "needs" her mama
a/c is working
kids' smiles and giggles at the playground
hubby tried to send me flowers for my birthday, the thought does count for something

blessed

We were tremendously blessed in our move this weekend. We arrived safely to our new home. On the front end of the trip, my parents provided space for us to live for a month, in spite of our complaints about the inadequate a/c in our dwelling area and my tendency to get distracted from cleaning up after my kiddos in the dining area. We had some good quality time together, plus Dad provided his truck and some manpower. And Mom made a yummy roast-beef dinner with all the sides as a send off last night.

We could not have moved without the help we received. Our former neighbor/overworked friendly police officer friend took the time from his valuable days off to help us. A couple of guys from church joined Officer R et. al. for phase I and II. They also came down to help us move in... a 4+ hour drive. (Officer R offered, but we wanted him to be able to rest a little before hitting the streets again tomorrow morning. I mean this morning.) Hubby's parents drove WAY out of their way for phase I and II and will help us unpack tomorrow before their 6 hour drive home. And Camera Guy left his wife and 4 week old beautiful baby for the day to come help. Like I said, we were blessed. And there's more...

... last week, I got together with some friends I had not seen in a while. One of them asked what area we were moving to. It turns out that she has a good friend in the same town, so she connected is on Facebook. And that friend and her family came by to met us, and her husband and another man from their church helped us unload the truck!!!! Talk about the body of Christ in action. I had hesitated to accept their offer, but when I saw how utterly exhausted hubby and Dad were last night, I decided to accept. Oh, and their kids are VERY close in age to ours! So in addition to my W@H friends who live in this area, we have another family to get to know!

I should be sleeping, but insomnia struck so here I am. :)

yes, i know I have it easy...
I am home with the kids while hubby, tech mom and dad, my dad, r, and maybe someone else load the 26' moving truck.

Packing with an almost one year old and a 4 year old is not easy. Baby wants to play. He just put an empty wipes container on my card table/deesk... and proceeded to try to grab my pepsi. That's not a fair trade, bud.

Bear complains about me packing certain belongings of hers, but has otherwised occupied herself.
At least it's cooler in here than outside, though the window units in our space upstairs are not really keeping up with the TN summer heat.

almost move day!

I tend to use facebook instead of my blog to share things these days. But for the moment, I've grown weary of using my status update as a blog post, so I'm back.
It's almost time.

We're having lunch with hubby's colleagues today, I'm hoping it's good-bye and not good-riddance. Although the work itself has not been a perfect fit for him, we have met some wonderful people. I know I'll keep on with two families on the blogosphere. :)

It's time to pack up the belongings we've used the past month and prepare to go to our new apartment in Georgia. I took some photos of our living arrangements, but I haven't decided if I will post them or not because they aren't really in house-showing condition at the moment.

We've visited with quite a few people the last few weeks. So far, I've only burst into tears at good-bye once. The hardest part is feeling like I was just really getting to know some people, and wondering if we'll keep in touch like we say we will.

I am most looking forward to having our own rooms again. We've been sharing a room with Bear, and Buddy inevitably joins us in our bed around 2 a.m. In spite of extra padding in the pack n play, he's probably only slept through the night in his room twice a week during our stay here. That might be a generous estimate.

I really need to get packing so we can load up easily tomorrow....

refocus

I'm learning to cherish certain aspects of this transitional time. My kids are getting quality time with my parents, something that I don't remember having much of with my own grandparents. Usually we get snippets of time with them, since they live close enough that overnight visits are not mandatory. On the other hand, since we have to drive 3+ hours to visit Tech Mom and Dad, overnight visits=more quality time.

Mom and Dad's place is for sale. 2.5 acres nestled in a field across from an antebellum in middle TN. Minutes from I -65, yet peaceful. Tree-lined driveway and yard, grape arbor with a swing under it, goldfish ponds, and even a volleyball net in the backyard. There are birds, bunnies and bullfrogs galore, along with an occasional woodchuck or deer sighting. Lucy the long-haired calico is typically shy, but if you are on her good side she will leave a mouse, mole, or other delicacy on the stoop for you. Coneflowers are in season, a few cleomi, and most of all, fresh apples. (Pears are on the way.) There are granny smith, and another variety that's sweeter.

I did not grow up here; not really. We moved to TN the middle of my Junior year of High School, and at that point the only thing growing in this yard was the bermuda grass planted by the builder and a left-over wheat stalk or two that made it's way into our yard from the adjoining farm fields. My parents planted and gardened through the years, creating a taste of Eden in Tennessee. Unfortunately, the work it takes to maintain is taking a toll on them, and they want to sell. Some parts of the yard are a bit overgrown, as is the fire pit where my friends and I burned our notes from Chemistry and Algebra II when summer vacation came around.

Anyway, Bear loves running across the yard, feeding the goldfish, chasing bunnies, gathering apples in the skirt of her dress. She asks me what Grandma is doing when my Mom bursts out in random songs that pop into her head based on a conversation or happening. And covers her ears. (She's her Daddy's girl, I guess.)

Buddy has mastered climbing up the stairs and tasted clover from the yard. Grandaddy thinks our little "bam-bam" is going to break the new sliding glass door. Seriously. He crawls to the laundry closet whenever he hears the washing machine running because it reminds him of bathtime.

We do miss our old house a bit, but at least while we are in limbo we have some times to treasure. Memories will be made, it's somewhat up to us whether they will be good or bad.

in limbo

I am beginning to feel as though I've lived out of a suitcase all summer. Oh, wait, I have, just about. Our house sold, we moved out, and the closing was last week. We're currently settled into our interim home, enjoying my parents' big yard, fresh apples from the trees, and country breezes. I think I've mentioned that I hate that they have this place for sale... but I completely see why it's getting to be too much upkeep for them. In the meantime, the kids are getting to spend quality time with Grandma and Grandpa, and at least we aren't crammed into a hotel room somewhere.

I put Bear back into gymnastics. There is a location from the company we used before 5 minutes away from my parents' home, and she said she wanted to go back. It's a good break for both of us, and I'm sure my parents are glad for a little peace and quiet. I'm thankful that they are letting us go week by week, as our life is so crazy right now. It's amazing how much this town has grown since we moved here 16 years ago, when I was a junior in high school. It's so different.

Hubby hooked up our tv, dvd player, and Wii tonight... I'm a little apprehensive about what the Fit will reveal. There is a great walking trail nearby, too, but I can't find my new running shoes. I think I left them in WI or Memphis.

I'm tired. Emotionally, physically, you name it. A lot of good things are going on in our life, but I am worn out from all the wondering and waiting. At least I have a wonderful husband and two awesome kids, and we are in the advenure together.

less than 5 days until our first house is no longer our home

Our house is in a complete state of disarray right now. The storage unit has been procured and is being utilized little by little. In a nutshell, here are the things we've accomplished so far, with the help of wonderful family and friends who have generously helped in some way:

• emptied kitchen cabinets, except cleaning supplies under sink
• pantry emptied, except for plasticware and paper plates/bowls
• laundry room/utility cabinet cleaned out
• buddy's dressers emptied/packed
• 4 loads of boxes and totes transported to storage unit
• mini fridge defrosted
• linen closet almost empty, except for a couple of sleeping bags and blankets
• Stereo system disassembled
• walls clear of photos and frames/decorations all packed up

Yet to do:

• Empty remaining dressers and closets
• Clean out under bathroom sinks/drawers
• Desk area....
• Miscellaneous boxes
• Returned borrowed items to individuals
• Clean, clean, clean...

That's the nuts and bolts. It doesn't begin to cover the emotions I'm feeling right now. I'm running in overdrive, I think. Little man developed the habit of waking up in the middle of the night during our travels the last couple of months.... so sleep is usually interrupted from 2-4am.

We still have a lot of unanswered questions, and are praying that the one thing that appears clear stays that way. We feel incredibly blessed to have received an offer on the house so quickly, and pray that the closing process continues to go as smoothly as the rest of the listing/selling process has gone.


The kiddos have been able to spend some time with friends this week, and I so appreciate those who have taken care of them while we've tackled the packing. One of the hardest parts of this process is realizing that there are people I should have reached out to more, and beginning to realize how much I'll miss so many people.

As for the unanswered questions, we pray that God directs our paths. Anyone who thinks they completely determine their own destiny must be greatly misguided; so many things are beyond our control. It's comforting to know that there is a time for everything, a purpose and a plan, and we don't have to know every step. Yes, this whole process has been a lesson in walking by faith. At times, very stressful, and other times very peaceful. Always a tiresome adventure.

I keep thinking a should blog or journal about the whole moving process, but I don't have the time or energy to do it well....

Countdown to house closing on the 21st, pray that all goes well!

Wordless Wednesday

breaking the silence

I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief now. A few weeks ago a posted about some pending changes, but did not have the freedom to share with the public. Well, I can now speak a little more freely, and I figure those who know me best or want to know me best read my blog in addition to my facebook status, so I'm posting here first. Many of you know this already.

Hubby has a pending job offer in another city, about 4 hours away from our current home. The process has begun moving, and we expect to hear his start date soon. So, while anticipating this info, we put our house on the market almost 3 weeks ago. It was a bit of a step of faith, but in this market we felt it would be the wise choice. So far we've had 4 showings, by different realtors and 1 set of offers/counter offers which we are praying will become a sale.

The process has been arduous. If you have followed my wandering thoughts for any length of time, or know me somewhat well, I am slightly organizationally challenged in some ways and VERY organizationally challenged, or undisciplined, in others... especially housekeeping. Hubby has been a HUGE help in motivating me, my sister kept the kids for a couple of days, and voila! we got the house into a showable state.

I don't have cable, therefore I don't watch those staging shows. Let me tell you, I think it's a load of manure. Yes, that's harsh. I think a reasonable person will be able to look past a little bit of personalization and perhaps some clutter. To expect people to "stage" their home like a TV set is ridiculous.

HOWEVER, the normal state of my home involves toys and laundry scattered or piled about, mail all over the kitchen clounter, dishes may or may not be caught up, floor might or might not be swept, bathrooms may or may not be clean, and nothing is ever spotless unless I find a place to stash things in a hurry. I inherited a pack rat gene. Given the choice, I would rather play with my flowers than tend my home. (Unless it's 100+degrees, as it is now with the heat index). Eden might have been a good home for me, but then I would have been Eve... I hope I'm not too much like her. Anyway, I've been finding that state of balance, and although it may not be perfect, my house is a home, and that is clear to potential buyers... minus some of the habitual messes of the past.

I have a range of emotions going through my heart and mind. Relief and joy because we have prayed for God to open a door, and there's finally now a good bit more than a crack after many slammed shut. A bit of fear of the unknown combined with anticipation of a great adventure. Sadness in thinking of family and friends from whom we'll be further separated. God-given faith knowing that He has provided for us in so many ways and is our Jehovah Jireh.

And then there's the idea of finding a new church home... again. How hard will it be to find another place where the Gospel is preached and it's okay to struggle to live it out in our lives? Where it's okay that His sanctification feels like a mystery at times in our lives, that we may change but God Himself does not... His Word does not, His grace is far more than that silly acronym "God's Riches At Christ's Expense" that I've heard in sermons far too many times.... why I roll my eyes at that acronym is a whole post in itself.

Some of my walls have just begun coming down with some of these friends, and now to start the process of finding a church family over. I hate the process of "life goes on", the one in which miles separate you and the walls come back up as the distance divides. If it seems like I've pushed people away or just not let them see my heart during this process, I probably have. I am thankful for those who have tried not to let those walls grow again... you know who you are.

I am comforted by the facts that our destination will bring me closer to a cousin who I've come to know over the past few years, some friends I've met online who have become an extended part of my family in Christ, and that new seasons bring new fruit.

I may come and go on here for a while... my absence should mean I am busy with life, my family, and hopefully not too busy on Facebook and Farm Town, though I do enjoy them. The process of preparing my home for change has also included a bit of refocusing of my own, something the never ends.

almost home

the kids, tech mom and i finally pulled in from our long drive home from wisconsin. it turns out that hubby has some work assignments here in the "town" where we first met, so we'll be here for a couple of days at the least, perhaps until friday.

my head is spinning. i keep telling myself that i will stop typing without caps, but today is not the day. yes, i have a college degree. i know how to use punctuation, but for some reason i prefer the stream-of-consciousness-take-it-or-leave-it method of posting.

we had a good trip. parts were hard. it's never easy to watch a grandparent's age begin to catch up with her, but in the midst of her pain i was still amazed by how much better she is doing than some of her friends. having just a few of us there instead of the whole family was a change. we missed everyone who normally treks up there with us, yet it was the right arrangement to keep gramma from being so overwhelmed. of course, we didn't see everyone we would have liked to, but the connections made were wonderful. we even spent some time with one of hubby and caslon's friends from years back, who is also one of my newer blogging friends. it was so nice of her and her mom to host us for lunch on friday, and our kids also had fun getting to know eachother... except for some sharing issues. ;)

after 15 hours in the car/on the road, i'm not thinking very clearly. the kids are ecstatic to be reunited with their daddy, tackling him in the big red armchair and giggling with glee.

oh, and while some of our friends and relatives in the great cheese state have modern conveniences, gramma's valley does not have much tv, cell phone, or any internet access. she still thinks her original model electric wringer in the cellar is sufficient for doing the wash, and that shower head in the bathroom still doesn't work, so tub baths were had by all.

but, in spite of the inconveniences the week at gramma's was filled with love and that's what matters.

to post or not to post?

I think I've posted pictures of my glads, asiatic lilies, and callas for the past 2 years. Well, they are back, taller than ever, or in the case of the callas, thicker than ever. My stargazers that I bought really cheap at wal-mart last year are also on their way.

I love bulbs and all plants similar. Especially summer-blooming ones so far, because just when it's getting hot enough that I don't really feel like planting new things to withstand the heat, they come back and tell me that past years' efforts were worth the investment of time. One of my asiatic lily stalks has over TEN buds on it!!!!! I have a feeling I'll be staking that one back!

My camera is downstairs, so I'm not posting the pics right now, but I am wide awake after falling asleep with my little girl at bedtime... and waking up right at 11:30.

Should I post pics of the same types of flowers you've seen on here in years past?