ramblings of an insomniac

i've been awake for over an hour. it's senseless, really. i should be sleeping soundly, but not, i've been tossing and turning. so i decided to grab the laptop and spare hubby the earthquake that is my restlessness. he had a long, busy day yesterday. he had to dress up for a meeting at work, and then we went to a wedding last night. so he spent almost 12 hours dressed up. no, wait, almost 14 hours. i didn't complain when he took off his tie and sport coat for the reception. nope, not one bit. he looks great without being all formal.

we decided to see how baby bear would handle a wedding. considering she did not have an afternoon nap (she awoke late yesterday morning, which resulted in a later morning nap, which ultimately resulted in no afternoon nap), she behaved fabulously. however, hubby ended up spending all but the opening prayer and closing prayer of the ceremony with her outide in front of the church. she loved climbing up and down the concrete steps. the bride gave her a tulip from her bouquet which disappeared at some point.

my friend's mom is married. she is one of those women you can't help but admire. she is full of life and joy. her life has not always been easy, but she has 4 grown children who love her and now she has someone with whom to share the rest of her life. her groom is younger than he looks at first glance. as he breathed a deep sigh of relief when the ceremony finally started (traffic held up several of the guests, and the bride chose to wait for their arrival), we could not help but laugh. the small church was nearly packed with friends and family, including several babies and toddlers. for some reason, i did not take many photos. my parents were there, and my dad took a few, so perhaps i will get them and post them.

observations from the reception: when asked to get something for baby bear to munch on, daddy brings back a couple of crackers, a bit of cheese, and one piece of pineapple. mommy goes to the appetizer table and sees canteloupe, honeydew melon, grapes, etc... guess what baby bear wanted to eat- crackers. main course? baby bear literally scoffed at the cold ham sandwich after being given bits of steak from the steak kabobs. as soon as the ham touched her mouth, she set it back down and reached for steak. hubby as well as another hubby took their daughters for diaper changes. i dare say that this is a good sign of parenting skills.

hubby humored me and about halfway through unchained melody, we joined others on the dance floor. i can't say we danced well, we sort of move to the music somewhat together. that's what happens when you get two people who were raised in environments that practically forbade dancing or lacked opportunity. my mom couldn't get my dad to dance with her, so she grabbed baby bear for the fox trot. i vow for us to take dance lessons someday. hubby says he stepped on my shoes, but he missed my toes. i loved watching the bride and groom enjoy dancing together. she in her gold suit with long flowing skirt, he in his ivory tux. they looked spectacular.

as a friend fed her daughter, which led to the standard, "how long did you breastfeed?" exchange, i felt proud of the attempts i made with baby bear. this friend made it 6 weeks, then she had to return to work and had no desire to pump. i don't blame her. our other friend retreated to the bathroom to nurse. i don't blame her either. her dress wasn't very nursing friendly. but i think after all baby bear and i went through in the nursing fiasco, if baby bear 2 and i do succeed, i will be all for nursing wherever we are, with a covering of course. i will feel entitled to the freedom to feed my child however, wherever, whenever needed. i will probably get a sling, too.

after we returned home and changed baby bear into her pj's, i rocked her back to sleep in the rocking chair that tech mom and dad brought over. it was wonderful.

oh, baby bear tried to eat dirt yesterday. it resulted in her getting a 2nd bath. i was pulling weeds out of our big earth pots, in hopes of attempting to plant something yet again in the near future. cherry tomatoes seem to do ok, as does okra. peppers... not so much. which is a shame, because i love them. anyway, she thought it was grand fun and proceeded to try to empty the dirty out of the pots one fist at a time.

there's a fine line between what goes on her blog and what goes on mine. this is my place to ramble, i try to be a little more concise on her blog. and i post more pictures there.

i got to hold another 4 month old little girl. it's scary how foreign a feeling it is to hold such a fragile newborn. baby bear is definitely a toddler. oh, she's not crawling out of her crib like her younger cousin did yesterday, but she loves doing somersaults (with assistance), climbing and flipping on whoever is holding her, playing chase. it's amazing how fast 17 months have disappeared. she can eat more than her father and i combined at a meal (you think i'm kidding), and the next she will eat barely a fistful of food.

as hubby and i "danced", it was nice to know baby bear was in safe hands. her grandaddy walked her around the reception area, up to view some artwork, peer in store windows, etc. (the reception was inside a factory that has been converted to a shopping mall/muli-function building. it's so cool. it even has a pet adoption place in it. and a church meets there.) it was nearly 9 p.m. by that point, well past her bedtime. and she rose to the occasion and cuddled with whomever happened to hold her at the moment. (mommy and daddy were first choice, grandparents a close 2nd.)

yes, it was a good night. a good day, too. we went from sleeping in to playing in the dirt to dressing up... i in my black dress that i found for $10 and couldn't fit in at the time, baby bear in her pink satin and white lacey dress. i think it may be her easter dress, it's so pretty... she looks like a doll in it.

maybe i can fall asleep, 2 hours after waking up. and if i'm lucky, maybe baby bear will not wake up for at least another 3 hours.

Do I dare?????

I mean, my little Finding Focus Project
hasn't exactly led to a catharsis in my organizational habits.

I noticed Kimberley is daring and had to go see what the picture was about.

We'll see... (don't hold your breath, but feel free to go check out OrgJunkie's blog.)

obviously not much to post about here... i guess it's called blogger's block? anyway, hop on over to hannah bear's cave if you want to see what our cutie has been up to and have not been there in a while...

Baby Bear just handed me the "Prince and the Pauper"... Mickey Mouse version. She wants to watch it. Little does she know, it's the SPANISH version. I wonder how long she'll put up with it....

Have you read John 17 lately?

This passage reveals the prayer that Jesus prayed just before Judas betrayed him. In the past, I have been drawn to his prayer for unity of those who believe in Him. He refers to the disciples as gifts from the Father to Himself, and prays for those who will believe on Him through their word.
Does that mean He considers us gifts from the Father, too?

All my life I have been taught that Jesus was God's gift to us. (John 3:16 makes that perfectly clear.) Until yesterday, I have never thought that perhaps Jesus considered those who believe in Him to be gifts, too. Wow.

Hubby's jealous

Army Chaplain bought a motorcycle this weekend. You know what they say... "when the cat's away, the mice will play." In this case, it's "when the wife's away, the man will play." (Chaplain's wife is here in TN visiting family but he had to stay home for work.)

What happened to Spring? Brr.. it's cool out again. It rained a little yesterday, but was partly cloudy all day today. We drove up to Aldi to see if it was worth the drive for the savings. We decided it's not. It's not that far, but the savings didn't seem as good as they used to be. I was very disappointed because they didn't have any of the cream soda flavors that they used to have.

On the way home, we stopped by a playground. Baby bear loved the slides, but honestly, she had just as much fun picking up rocks.

Homemade chicken pot-pie is in the oven for supper, hubby mowed the lawn for the first time this year, then he went for his run. Baby bear is down for a nap, soon to awaken to the heavenly scent wafting from the oven.

I've kept laundry going today, but otherwise taken it very easy. I slept SO soundly last night. I should try working hard more often, because it sure seemed to help me sleep better.

Not much new. No deep thoughts or ponderings wandering through my mind, just plain old me dropping in to say hi to whoever is there. I hope your weekend is as restful as mine.

Oh, I forgot to mention... a couple of days ago a lady at the park said I look 18 or 19, not my age. You know you are growing up when you consider being told you look young a compliment.

If you haven't heard Janice's good news, be sure to stop by her blog and check it out! Keep her and her little one in your prayers as the baby develops.

hubby takes a turn being SAHD

Yup, it was hubby's turn to be a Stay-at-home-Dad. He works long days so he can have every-other Friday off work. We love it. Well, about 6 months ago, tech mom suggested I look into cleaning houses. At the time I think I laughed in her face, or called crt and asked her if she wanted to hear the nonsense that my mother-in-law had suggested. That wasn't her only suggestion, and she was trying to brainstorm to help me come with a constructive solution to receipt-nazi-induced frustration. Yes, I love him. Yes, I am very grateful for his financial discipline, and no, that does not change the fact that he is a receipt nazi. Anyway, I really don't want him to have to pick up an extra job when he works so hard already. And I really love those Fridays off. But I have begun to look into finding something part time (perhaps around 10 hours a week). Something that will be flexible enough for me to only work partial weekends, so hubby and baby bear can have bonding time. Preferrably something close to home. I haven't applied at the grocery stores yet (there are now 2 less than 2 miles away from my house.) I am also going to consider tutoring in the Subject that I taught, but my books are all packed away in boxes and finding them is a somewhat daunting task.

Anyway, we have friends from church who own their own cleaning business. It is small, but has grown enough to where they have thought about hiring additional help. However, they aren't quite ready to take on that commitment. Anyway, after a conversation I had with Mrs. Clean, as I will call her here, I began to think about possibly helping them out. I could potentially help clean if they really need someone else on the Friday mornings hubby has off, providing we aren't galavanting around the globe or across the state to visit family. Today, Mr. Clean and I embarked on my first "job". Well, not first job ever, but first job cleaning someone else's house. The last time I did any type of house cleaning and got paid for it was when I was about 9 years old, and "Grandma Hock" from our church in MI hired me to help clean out her kitchen cabinets. It hurt her back too much to hunch over, and I thought it was fun. Anyway, though I had initially scoffed at my mil for suggesting such a thing, there I was today, trying on my oldest jeans. Unfortunately, the size 7 and 8's were still too small (in spite of the fact that I've lost 5 more pounds since January), so I had to choose the pair of good jeans that I would least mind ruining with bleach or other household cleaners. I threw on a "Blood Battle" (UT-Martin and Murray State Blood Drive)T-shirt, and off I went to meet Mr. Clean. I'd forgotten that normal people are actually awake and out and about at 7:00 a.m., and it took me 20 minutes to drive 6 miles. Nothin' like being late to your first day of a new job. Oh, well. The afternoon cleaning actually turned out to be in a neighborhood I will not be going to by myself, not far from where hubby used to patrol the streets. It doesn't look as scary during the day, and the apartment was actually slightly cleaner than my house's current state... the inside of the fridge was cleaner than my own fridge's current state. But I have been reminded that other people's grime is much scarier than your own personal grime for some reason. Thankfully, I will get to decide whether or not I want to accept a cleaning job in the future.

So, as we approach the weekend, I now have my feet kicked up on the ottoman. We went out for pizza, and apparently something in the salad bar hit my stomach wrong, so I had a rough hour or so after we got home. Baby Bear went straight to sleep after brushing her teeth.

OH, I almost forgot to share the best part of my day. And no, I'm not talking about the fact that the husband at morning cleaning appt. has the same name as my hubby IRL (no, not receipt nazi), his wife's name is 2 letters different than mine, and their last name has the same first 3 letters. Their sons' names are nothing like Baby Bear's, but they are almost as cute as she is. Nor am I referring to the fact that hubby swept the kitchen floor, folded laundry, and wiped down the counters while I was gone. (Have I mentioned that he is a WONDERFUL hubby? No? Well, he is! Tech Mom, you raised him well!!!)

No, the BEST part of my day was getting to experience the joy of seeing my little girl's beautiful grin and feel her hug me as hard as she can because I am home. I never realized that I take her sweet smiles and hugs for granted until I was away from her for a full work day.

Maybe I will actually clean my own house while baby bear and daddy play this weekend. I haven't quite gotten into the swing of things with my routine.

Pray for Janice at 5minutesformom. She has 2 lumps in her breast, polyps in her cervix, and is pregnant. Her ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow.

We have a play date this morning! The thought of being around other Moms and their kids is making me a little nervous. Will Baby Bear be in a good mood? Will she play nicely with the other kids?

Part of me wants to chicken out and stay home in my comfort zone of plaid purple pj pants, a t-shirt, and my glasses. I guess there is still an introvert left inside me after all.

i found my dream home

When we can afford it, we can afford a housekeeper.
Or we'll have enough kids who are old enough to do the chores.

hubby's new favorite (honda) commercial:

"for some of us, there's therapy.
for the rest of us, there's motorcycles."

his are in his dreams and at his dad and brother's homes, but hey, whatever works. maybe some day...

works for me wednesday: project "get hubby to eat green veggies"

With asparagus in season and on sale, I took it upon myself to buy some for ou family. I like it, Baby-bear likes it... hubby tolerates it. I LOVE green veggies with pasta. They provide balance. And since I had decided to make chicken-bowtie pasta tonight, I decided asparagus would be a perfect side. Hubby eats green bean casserole. I use that term cautiously. I don't mean that he thoroughly enjoys to eat it. But as those of you who've been around here a while know, he's not that easy to cook for. And the fact that somehow in the last couple of years, he has decided green bean casserole is tolerable, is nothing short of a miracle. He hates creamy casseroles. Anything with mayo makes him gag. But the combo of cream of mushroom soup, French's fried onions, and green beans is edible to him.

Well, I decided to try asparagus casserole on him tonight. I substituted cream of chicken for cream of mushroom soup, as that's what was in the pantry. I boiled some water, then boiled 1 lb. of crispy, fresh asparagus til tender but not floppy (about 5 minutes). Then I followed the directions for green bean casserole as they are on the can. I used garlic salt, sea salt, pepper, and italian seasonings to add extra flavor.

Verdict? Works for me. Hubby ate his whole portion. Sure, it was only about 1/4 cup, and no more. But he cleaned his plate. Baby bear probably ate twice as much asparagus as her Daddy.

I'm breaking him down, one veggie at a time.

Toddler time...

I've been reading some other mom's posts today, and after this post I WILL get offline. Baby-bear naps, and I must say the laptop is like a Siren beckoning to me... I did begin reading through Proverbs a little earlier, and think that is a very good place to get back into the Word.

Anyway, I just wanted to share something I found, and perhaps open up some conversation based on a blog I just read. The author of the blog "So Many Joys" shares some TV-Free Toddler Activities for her Works-for-Me Wednesday entry.

Baby Bear loves following me while I work on laundry, putting pop cans in the fridge, and today she put her new baby wipes into the cabinet of her dresser for storage. She would rather tear blocks down than stack them up, but at least she has fun doing it.

What are some of your favorite TV-Free activities? I've found myself getting into a TV-rut with Baby Bear's new videos (she loves Blue's Room). She is starting to enjoy coloring, but she has yet to learn that she can't color everything she wants. If you don't have toddlers (i.e. they are grown or you aren't "there" yet), what are some things you used to do with your kids or you have seen others do that you plan to implement with your kids?

Finding Focus... still

As you have most likely figured out, I keep reverting to my procrastinatory ways. Well, tonight I spent 2 hours, yes you read that correctly, working on my life management "Finding Focus Project" spreadsheet. There's a verse that says: "Where there is no vision, the people perish." In my life, that translates to: "where there is no plan, little gets done." I'm becoming increasingly aware of the fact that I need to be intentional in how I live my life. Not just to do chores, because while they are important, I am blessed with two far more important things: my hubby and my daughter. I've focused on my weaknesses and struggles for far too long, and made excuses for them. I always struggled with unit plans as a teacher... to be honest, I usually made them up after the fact, to look good for my evaluations. I realized they could be very helpful, but I was overwhelmed with the day to day struggles and just didn't quite get "there". My kids managed to learn, but oh, how much more all of us could have learned had I been a little more efficient in my planning. Anyway, bygones are bygones, and I'm starting fresh...

So far, my spreadsheet for my personal FFP has 3 worksheets.
1)Brainstorming/Master List-
Divided into 5 categories: Personal, Spiritual, family, household, hobbies
2)Chore Chart-
Divided into room/area and frequency (daily, weekly, monthly, occasionally, projects)
3) Weekly Plan Template- days of the week across top, 5 categories along the side

largefamilylogistics suggests assigning a specific room or area to each day. That may be common sense to some of you, but this organizationally challenged lass trembled at the thought of that type of commitment. (It really is amazing I ever got married. At least I don't have a fear of committing to my hubby!!!)

These are the daily "focus areas" I have come up with so far:
Monday- Kitchen/Meal Planning Day
Tuesday-Laundry Day (That's what I've been working on today, though it's not going to be limited to Tuesday)
Wednesday- Bathroom Day
Thursday- Cleaning Day
Friday- Shopping Day
Saturday- Miscellany Day
Sunday- Church/Family Day


So there you have it... I am developing a "Unit Plan" for my day-to-day life. I suppose it's not really anyone else's business, and I risk showing those of you who don't really know me just how undisciplined I am, but so be it. Perhaps someone who reads this will be encouraged by something in this post. Maybe someone will jump on board and refocus alongside me. Or maybe you'll just pray for me, that the step that just took me 2 1/4 hours to take will lead to action. If I post less frequently, hopefully it means I am accomplishing something apart from the blogosphere.

Good night, friends. Hope all is well in your page of the blogosphere!

Praying about a part-time, flexible job opportunity. Out of my comfort zone, but every little bit could help right now. And one in particular could also help the business owners... they would not have to feel pressure to give me work, but I would be available to fill in.

(This is the decision I forgot to post about on Sunday, if anyone paid attention to the label.)

worthwhile causes...

FREE BOOKS FOR KIDS!
I think I mentioned that I had enrolled Baby-bear in the "Books from Birth" program a while back. Well, every month since then, she has received a FREE book in the mail. These books are hardcover, some are board books, all of them have been high-quality and age-appropriate. My neighbor Gina has 2 girls enrolled in the program, and says they don't duplicate titles, except for the "kick-off" story. Dolly Parton founded her Imagination Library in rural East Tennessee, and since then the program has spread. "Books from Birth" is the name it goes by in Tennessee, and thanks to this program, my daughter will have a pretty full library by the time she is 5 years old (unless we move somewhere where this isn't available).

If your children (under age 5) are not enrolled, visit the Imagination Library website to see if it's available in your area.


"Tampontification"
FREE TAMPONS FOR WOMEN IN NEED
Ok, tampons are not really a popular topic. But Caslon's best friend in WI sent me an e-mail to this link, and I thought I would share. The whole website is quite interesting... some may find it a little "crunchy", but it's worth perusing. And with the click of a button, you can show your support for having feminine hygiene products donated to women's shelters.

is the weekend already over?

Friday morning, Baby Bear and I met some friends at the zoo. I'll be posting pictures on her blog soon. My parents babysat her while I went to an appointment in peace. The doctor laughed when she came in and I was laying back on the exam table already. She has a 3-year old, and understands the lack of opportunities Moms of toddlers have to rest. Anyway, so nobody makes any assumptions, no I am not pregnant again. I just had a check-up that had to be rescheduled for my annual exam after the whole situation a 6 weeks ago. When I arrived home, Baby Bear was still content with GranWendy and GranDaddy, and the neighbor girls had arrived home from school and begged to see their little doll. I'll definitely have to take advantage of my parents' proximity to us more often. It was nice to go out by myself for a change. And of course, they love spending time with Baby Bear. I felt kind of bad because the house was a WRECK when they arrived, as I had opted to play outdoors and go to the zoo instead of do housework

TechMom and Dad arrived Friday evening, after taking a detour off the interstate when they saw all the semi's exiting. They made a wise choice, as there had been a big wreck involving 6 semi's... one of the drivers was killed, diesel fuel was all over the road. Anyway, Baby Bear woke up just after they went to bed, so we snuck her in to see her other grandparents. She was in grandparent heaven, seeing all 4 of them in one day!

Saturday brought a trip to Costco for us girls, Baby Bear's first experience playing in the rain, and the boys' completion of taxes. Woo hoo! Tech M&D treated us to dinner at Chili's, where we shared an awesome blossom appetizer.. I hadn't had one of them in a long time. It was almost too much for 4 1/2 people. (Unfortunately I learned that Baby Bear's tummy can't quite handle that yet... sigh...)

This morning... Sunday School with our new teacher, and miraculously we had a good group in spite of the time change. That's pretty impressive for parents of small kids who don't always adapt well to changes is routine! Hubby and his parents went to the worship service, while I arrived at Baby bear's class to find that the 13-year old son of my co-volunteer had joined us today! He proved to be a huge help, as he had the energy that I lacked and then some. The 7 kids LOVED him. Oh, and I found out from my co-volunteer that I CD I will most likely want should be released on my birthday!! Woo hoo! He works in retail marketing for a record label, and the son of a musician is in Baby Bear's class.

It was a good weekend. I learned that I can't do everything I want to... I missed a friend's birthday party this afternoon, but it was worth it to be able to relax more with Tech M&D after church. Otherwise, we would have had to really rush. Plus, BAby Bear was tired and not very cooperative, so it was good that we went home for dinner. After dinner and the boys' naps, we walked a mile and found unlocked doors in nearby Centex homes that have not been sold yet. Looking at floor plans has always been fun, and cheap, entertainment for us. (The front doors were locked, but 2 of the back doors were unlocked. It's not breaking and entering if the sign out front says "available" and the doors are left unlocked.)

No deep thoughts right now, that's the summary of what we've been up to. Baby Bear thinks Grandpa's snore is funny. Oh, and we have Caslon's old microwave to buy us some time on getting a new one. Our old microwave is being used by my brother and his wife in L-ville, and our current microwave no longer cooks, though the clock and timer work just fine.

Hope everyone had a great weekend! I hope to post some pics from this weekend on Baby Bear's blog in the near future.

It's not over yet! Over 900 people have signed the list, and I'm sure there are lurkers out there who prefer to keep their anonymity!

I've just made a fresh batch of fruit tea, in honor of the warm weather that has come our way here in Tennessee. For those of you who are still stuck in winter-land, there's some hot chocolate with marshmallows... the microwave's broken, though, so let me know if I need to heat up some more water the old-fashioned way. Or hot tea. If you want coffee, Tech Mom will be here tomorrow night, and she'll be glad to grind and brew enough for all of us. Or, if you like, you can go crash her blog. She hasn't officially joined THE party yet, so we could just skip over there for a quick blog-crashing event.

I attempted to make cookies for the occasion, but said microwave being broken made it hard to soften the butter, so the dough is actually in the fridge. I'm doing a little experiment to see if it can still be salvaged. Things like this tend to happen when I attempt to make anything from scratch. It's the thought that counts, right? I have not wasted the white or milk chocolate chips yet, so if the dough looks/tastes unsalvageable, the most important part can still be used another time. I had to take a break from solving that mystery to vacuum the fruity cheerios that baby bear had pulled out of the cabinet and emptied onto the carpet.

Oh, please pardon the blocks, stuffed animals, and board books all over the living room.Would you believe I vacuumed the whole downstairs yesterday? Baby bear (my 16 month old daughter) and I have been playing outside. She discovered mud today, when I added some soil and water to the aloe plant that I have managed not to kill yet. (I think I've had it for at least a year. My Mom is always giving me indoor plants to ruin with my brown thumb.) The roots were almost exposed. I guess that happens when dirt settles. She also discovered rocks are fun to play with, as is the dirt on the curb. She also helped me put the holly-bush clippings that hubby had left scattered about into a trash bag. Who needs fancy toys when dirt, rocks and shrub clippings are abundant? I have managed to keep the laundry going... there's a mountain of it on the guest bed. I suppose I need to fold that tonight, because tomorrow promises to be a busy day, and the in-laws are driving over to visit their youngest grandbaby.

Sweet dreams, friends. Hubby made it home safely, so we should rest well tonight.

my chocolate and caramel sundae in which i decided to indulge myself melted into a cold, thick soup while hubby and i talked. it's still yummy.

travel update

the happy mcfamily has arrived in michigan safely. please continue to pray for the family as they mourn the death of their loved one (comic guy's great-grandma, who was 101.) juliana handled the long ride very well.

wow...

the fact that it's been over a year and a half since that 1st belly shot in the previous post was taken. just a little over two years ago, i swore my dentist to secrecy that i could not have x-rays taken because i pregnant, based on the home tests. (my parents go to that dentist, too.) after 6 years of marriage, we were finally going to be parents.

fast forward 2 years... my baby isn't so little anymore. she kisses the pictures of herself on the 3 finished scrapbook pages, and doesn't seem to have a clue that she is actually giving herself kisses.

in 2 more years, i will look back at pictures of baby bear that i took today, and remember that she used to be so small? she seems huge to me now, but i am very well aware that my baby has a long way to grow.... i wonder if she'll have a sibling to play with by then, or perhaps even more cousins?

i hope all of you are having a terrific week so far. hubby is away for work, so it's just me and the little one tonight (she's napping at the moment).

breezes and bellies...

(not at the same time)

ok, okay... here you go! i finally got up the nerve to start up the old laptop... the one with the fractured screen that is connected to an old monitor that tech mom gave me... and the monitor is at least 2 feet above the keyboard. so now the laptop is a desktop. however, i didn't like linking to baby bear's blog via the word belly in the last belly-tag post, and i'm sure most of you didn't either... so i decided to suck it up and use the less convenient of the computers. (i know, i should just be grateful to have one, never mind two working computers! and i am!)

anyway, baby bear and i went out to the park today. days like today make me glad to be living in the south. while my sister and her family are driving north to where it's still winter, it was windy and warm here. no jackets necessary! the daffodils are in bloom (mine should begin opening tomorrow... if a pesky rodent hadn't eaten most of the bulbs, i would have a lot more in our flower bed). anyway, days like today also remind me of why we have chosen to stretch ourselves financially so i can stay home with our daughter. i would not want to be in my old indow-less classroom next to the ISS room, dilbertish office cubes or even the welcoming learning center with the foosball table for "success time" tutoring others' kids while my daughter was playing outside with someone else.

As promised, here are those belly shots....

"hiking" in the smokies at 26 weeks...

not sure when we took this, but I had to be farther along...

bec and me at her shower on 10/15/05- 10 days before babybear's birth

p.s. thanks for the blouses, crt!

I went ahead and included the states I've simply passed through... because I can honestly say I've been there. (Places I've been are in RED.)


(Right click on picture to see whole map)

create your own visited states map


Just when I think I'm well travelled,
I get a reality check...


create your own visited countries map

tag...

adventures in baby wearing is sponsoring a belly-shot tag... i'm cheating and linking to a post of my belly on baby-bear's blog. because i'm lazy....

farm wife and steph, isn't it about time for your belly updates? zann, based on your dream, you might be playing tag with us soon! ;-> crt... i don't think i've ever seen any of your belly shot photos. ang, grace, bec, tech mom...? i know you girls can join the fun. well, some of you might have to scan in old pics.

i was going to post a pic of me and bec at her baby shower, just 10 days before i had Hannah... i still might, but i don't feel like getting on the other computer right now, and that's where the pics are.

sesame street

Baby Bear and I are upstairs in front of the TV. She is actually about to take all the DVD's off the shelf, so she is obviously not all that caught up in the show this morning. She just kissed the cover of "Kate & Leopold". She has also been walking around with her older cousins' first Christmas picture and kissing it for the last couple of days.

Anyway, I like Sesame Street because it's a neighborhood. Though fictional, it's a community where people get to know eachother. Yes, I like the ABC's, 123's, etc. for Baby Bear. Yes, I find some of the characters' voices annoying. And today, the "plot" is about adoption. As hubby and I discussed last night, the pictures painted of adoption in mainstream TV often portray it as the worst option for the kids, not so subtly implying that the mothers are foolish for choosing life. It's refreshing to see adoption persented the way it should be, even if it is simplified for the sake of young ones.

In these days of urban sprawl, I feel blessed that as the weather grows warmer, our neighborhood will feel a little more like Sesame Street. (Why is it that there are no CARS zooming passed the kids in the street, though? I haven't seen a pedestrian only sign.) Neighbors will be out for walks with their kids, washing cars, pretending to garden, etc. When we lived in another city, we knew very few of our neighbors by name, never mind knowing them well enough to go out to eat or grill out together. (Which reminds me we need to refill the tank for the grill). Oh, our neighborhood is far from Sesame Street in many ways, but it's also better. It's our home.

As of this morning, over 660 people have joined the Ultimate Blog Party, sponsored by 5 minutes for Mom. I've enjoyed browsing some new cyber-hoods, and have also enjoyed having visitors around here.

The Cure for Anxiety...

That's the subtitle in my Bible, just above Matthew 6:25...

Hubby and I attend a fairly large church. I wouldn't call it a mega-church, it certainly isn't anywhere near as big as the one with the outrageously huge crosses that you pass on I-40 as you head into Memphis. But it's big enough that a lot of people get lost in the shuffle, don't get plugged into the community, and move on to find fellowship elsewhere. I have a feeling that's fairly common in large churches. Anyway, our class is trying to be intentional about building relationships, and today was one of those days where it showed. It truly was a God thing. In addition to our scripture study, several of us shared how the Lord is teaching us to trust Him in our daily lives. We were able to share because instead of being in just another Sunday School class in the buckle of the Bible Belt, over time we have begun to build friendships and trust.

As we shared, a memory from my childhood came back to me. My parents had invited a family over for dinner. The wife was blind, and I remember being a little frightened by her eyes. She seemed nice, but I think the part where she actually was able to pop her glass eye out to show us really made me cringe. When she sat down at the piano to sing a song called "Consider the Lilies", any fear I had of her vanished. I was probably a pre-teen, I don't really remember. But I do remember thinking that if that woman could sing such a pure-hearted song with all she had been through, I had no reason not to have confidence in God's love.

It's getting late, hubby is going to bed, and I would like to snuggle with him, but if you find yourself struggling with anxiety, fear, or discontentment, I want to encourage you to read and ponder Matthew 6:25-34.

icebreaker

This is for all of us... since there are a few new faces around here, I thought I would try to come up with a little get-to-know you survey. I could go to blogthings and find something, but let's just see what crosses my wandering mind today...

1) Is your blog identity a pseudonym or part of your real name?
My name. at first i went by a wandering heart, that was too long. ren reminds me too much of ren and stimpy, which i never really got into. I couldn't come up with anything more creative, so I decided to just use my real name.
2) How many states have you lived in? 3 Countries? 1, but I spent a summer in Mexico as a summer missionary.
3) How long have you been blogging?
If old-fashioned bulletin board systems counted, I suppose I could say I did it in high school. But since BBS's were before the internet, I would have to say my sister in law introduced me to her blog last summer. An old friend from high school then told me about her blog, and I have met most of my "blogily" (blog family) through her. I initially started Baby Bear's blog, and then decided to make a personal one for myself, too.
4) If the internet completely disappeared, would you have to go through a blogger recovery program such as blogoholics anonymous (BA)?
I already founded a chapter a couple of months ago. Care to join me? Actually, I think I need to call it procrastiblogoholics anonymous.
5) When you aren't blogging, what are some of your hobbies?
Playing with my daughter, learning new signs to teach her, napping, reading (currently reading The Mommy Manual by Barbara Curtis- still), listening to music, spending time with hubby, talking to friends on the phone or online. I'd like to say scrapbooking, but I only have 3 pages done... and I've been working on the book for at least 3 months.
6) How many languages do you speak? 1 1/2: English & some Spanish. I don't speak toddler, but I am currently enrolled in a course called "Interpretation of Toddler Sounds".
7) Favorite vacation spot? hmmm. anywhere relaxing, preferrably with either a beach and.or mountains nearby. I am really looking forward to Gulf Shores this summer!
8) What is your life verse, quote, or theme?
Ideally: Phil 4:13- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Honestly: It can be done, it should be done, it shall be done... tomorrow.
9) What is the hardest job you have ever had? Teaching high school Spanish, I'm sure parenting will take over that title in a few years.
10) What is the most rewarding role you have had in life? Being married to hubby, being a stay at home mommy.

Feel free to pick and choose... answer just 1 or all, whatever suits you.
I look forward to getting to know all of you better!!!

good news about ice cream!!!

well, depending how you take it, i guess!

this is for inkling

I wasn't going to post again tonight. Really. Then I just could not deny the request of my friend who reminds me so much of a childhood heroine (Anne Shirley).

Oh, shoot, I just realized I was going to post about family, and that has the potential of making my red-headed friend miss hers even more. That certainly is not my intention. I just thought I would post about my day.

Actually, my blissful Friday started last night. Thursday nights are often our Friday nights, at least twice a month when hubby is off work. We went out for fajitas, where baby bear charmed our waitresses. We went to the restaurant where a "stranger" (i.e. non-family member or close friend) had first recognized my pregnancy without me saying something to clue them in when I was expecting Baby Bear. (Morning sickness made me lose weight before I started gaining.) Then we went to pick up some groceries for the weekend, specifically chicken for tonight's dinner.

My Mom and Brother-in-law have birthdays in January, and it's often difficult for us to get everyone together. It turned out that older brother and his wife didn't make it. Well, we had postponed their joint family birthday dinner once, and we figured if we didn't have it 2 months after the fact, it was not going to happen. My Mom is a wonderful hostess. She goes above and beyond, cooks too much food, and stuffs us silly when we meet at her house. She makes the best oven-roast beef and mashed potatoes, the best stuffing (as opposed to cornbread dressing that never soaks up the juices of the turkey), and does it with all her heart and strength. Unfortunately, this also means that she works too hard and doesn't relax enough when she has us over. So the birthday meal was at my house. I suppose one of these times we could go out for dinner together as a family. But with 2 toddlers between my sis and me, that could be challenging. You never know what mood evening will bring to toddlers. Instead of stressing one person (me) out over food, I chose to delegate. (And they volunteered to help.)
We had a birthday potluck, of sorts. My Dad made one of his salads. His salads are not your boring mixtures of iceberg, pre-shredded carrot, tomatoes, and maybe cheese on top. No, his dad was Italian, and their side of the family has a "family" salad. (Though I must mention that all of the siblings who make it, do it differently. Go figure.) Anyway, the salad my Dad brought tonight was complete with real lettuce and spinach, tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, lemon juice, oil, seasonings, and probably feta cheese, though for some reason I can't remember if that was in it this time. It's very soggy, but very good... No additional dressing needed. Sis brought green bean casserole and the cake she baked, I supplied italian crock-pot chicken, rice, Breyer's French vanilla ice cream and drinks.

The toddlers played near eachother, and try as we might, teaching them to share is like teaching a true southerner to pronounce "pen" correctly. (hint: the short "e" sound is not the same is the short "i" sound). They really did pretty well, and no major fights broke out over any particular toy or sippy cup. Baby Bear kept trying to kiss her cousin, which resulted in her kissing her cousin's rear a couple of times. Oh, well.

Every time we have company, whether it be family or friends, I realize something about myself. I am a lot like my Mom. If left unchecked, I might have the urge to "get things done" and not sit down with company until the table is cleared. (She is getting better at this, and we do try to help out when we're at her house.) Tonight, I rinsed off the plates because I didn't want the food to eat away at the platinum trim on my china. (I think this is about the 7th time I've actually used any of my china since our wedding. Maybe. I don't have a china cabinet, so it's a small ordeal to take out of storage.) My family helped clear the table, too, and we sat and watched the girls play and chatted for a few minutes. Anyway, whenever I have company, I have to make myself relax, and I have no idea why. I mean, my family has known me... my whole life. (Well, my side.) They know my weaknesses, my strengths, my oddities (like the fact that all my white socks seem to be worn through and we have not replaced the not-darned things yet). Hubby helped me get the house ready enough, Baby Bear was glad to try to help him "bah-oom" the carpet, and we even got a 3 hour nap in. There was no reason for me to not relax... oh, well. Tonight I found myself with not a whole lot to say, just glad to have them there, to have my daughter and her younger cousin be able to spend time with one another (and the rest of us). I wonder when they will start truly remembering family gatherings.

I'll let my sister share the cake story on her blog, if she feels so led. It was yummy, that's what counts. Dad showed us some of the notecards he's made with prints of his paintings and photos, and now I'm pondering how to help him market his "little" retirement hobby.

Anyway, as I've said before... I feel blessed to have my family. Both sides. There may be a day when the distance is greater than 30 minutes to a few hours by car, so even if it takes 2 months to find a date that works, we will get together. And though today felt like a Saturday, it was really a Friday and two days of the weekend remain. It was a great way to start our weekend.

ultimate blog party!

I initially posted a link in my sidebar last week after reading my friend Stephanie's blog. Steph is someone I've met in real life, but have started getting to know online. Then I got to thinking, "Do I REALLY want a bunch of strangers reading some of the personal things I've written here?" I don't even go by a psuedonym. So I removed the link.

Well, tonight I was reading Kimberly's blog, and she had also added a link about the
UBP. And I reconsidered. Plus, I just like to meet people, especially online. I can come across as an introvert in public, and I don't know how many people wrote "you're quiet, but you seem like a nice girl" in my high school yearbook because they never really got to know me and didn't know what to say. Anyway, I'm not really that quiet anymore. College, teaching, getting married, and becoming a mommy have changed me. Now I type, if not talk, too much. If you scroll to the very bottom, I have a counter because I am a little bit vain. Of course, it also includes the umpteen times a day that I read comments or post a wandering thought or two... or fifty. I added the counter at the beginning of this year, just for fun.

My "blog purpose statement" says, "this is my little bleep of cyberspace where i hope to strengthen old friendships & forge new ones. or maybe it's just another excuse for me to procrastinate." I am please to say that since I set stake in this little plot of the blogosphere, I have been blessed to keep in touch with family, re-kindle old friendships, and meet lots of wonderful people. Unfortunately, I procrastinate far too often... one of these days I'll work on that. Many entries are day-by-day snapshots of my life, whether it is boring, exciting, or somewhere in between. Some may be words that have captured my heart for a moment. Every so often, I may share a recipe (one that will most-likely be simple because I consider myself "domestically challenged".) And sometimes, as a Believer in Jesus who doesn't know all the answers, but knows the One who does, I share my faith-related ponderings. By joining in this little adventure, I do hope to meet more of you, especially some who may have been lurking unannounced behind the scenes.

If you've been around a while, thank you for keeping my party going. If you're stopping by because of the "ultimate blog party", welcome. Introduce yourself, kick up your feet and procrastinate with me and my fellowsojourners. If you haven't joined the party, yet, click on the link in my sidebar before March 9th to check it out for yourself! There are even lots of cool prizes!

word study:

dictionary.com definitions:
slothful–adjective sluggardly; indolent; lazy.

lazy – adjective

1.	averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent.

2.	causing idleness or indolence: a hot, lazy afternoon.

3.	slow-moving; sluggish: a lazy stream.

4.	(of a livestock brand) placed on its side instead of upright.

–verb (used without object)

5.

to laze.

diligent- –adjective

1.	constant in effort to accomplish something; attentive and persistent in doing anything: a diligent student.

2.	done or pursued with persevering attention; painstaking: a diligent search of the files.

An online search of the Bible found:
* 29 verses containing the word diligent
* 5 verses containing the word slothful
* 1 verse with the term lazy.

More thoughts on this to come, but I'd better get off my bum and do something...
****

Isn't it interesting that the positive word of the 3 has far more references than the other 2? I still need to read and study all the verses, but that stood out at me when I viewed the search results.

Good night, everyone!

Getting back to normal...

I guess I am thankful that my body is exhibiting signs of returning to normal cycles in just 1 month. The nausea and other symptoms are no fun, but it's nice to not have to wonder. Those symptoms can mean cycle or pregnancy, which drives me crazy when I end up waiting... especially after what happened last month. I really need to read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility... I wonder if the library has it. I am not quite ready to get back on the pill or other chemical bc. But right now the idea of getting pregnant again is a little scary. I have friends who I like to think God has given me partially to show how He provides and blesses with kids when we don't think we can afford them, but I have to admit that our faith is so weak in that area. However, since we do want more children, I would rather leave it up to God and take another pregnancy as a sign that He will take care of us and provide for all our needs. Not to mention the physical side effects. Really, while we may say that we are just being "responsible" by not having more kids if we aren't "prepared", what does it say about our faith in a sovereign God to provide? I'm just thinking in print here. This is something that is a personal decision for every couple, and reasons for or against avoiding pregnancy can be debated. But that's not my intention. I'm just thinking...

I think I'll go shower before baby bear wakes up from her nap. She'll be hungry and angry, as she's been down for quite a while now. 2 hours. Growth spurt or fighting something? Hopeful the growth spurt.

tornado watch....

give me snow over this any day.

i really am going to quit procrastinating...





























starting first thing tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!

keeping you wondering...

on the way home from our meeting tonight, our neighbor's jack russell was taking her for a walk. we pulled over to chat for a second... and i found out that one of the contestants on a talent/"reality" show that people either love or just don't care about lives in my neighborhood. i might have to start watching this season just for that reason... and to vote for her just for that reason. we watched last week, until hubby's show came on. i must admit that i liked his show better, but i usually start enjoying it after the worst singers are weeded out... not that they all get weeded out, but i think you know what i mean. and i do like changing the genre of shows that get airtime in our home.

the cat might be out of the bag...

no secrets, really. i just felt like calling this post that. at our sunday school class leadership meeting tonight, some friends mentioned finding my blog. i asked "which one", and they meant baby-bear's. so then, of course, i told them about this one. now, the husband in the couple has a blog, too... but i get the feeling it's a little bit different than mine. i got to thinking, and his wife really needs to get to know farm wife. these friends have 3 boys under 7. she and farmwife could really empathize with one anothers struggles of having littles all around. it sounds like he's more of the blogger of the two, but maybe, just maybe we'll lure his wife into our little estrogen filled blog family. not that our hubbies aren't welcome, or male friends/acquaintances that join into the random theological discussions that might pop up when my heart wanders that way. or any other discuissions or just plain old posts. but i'm not sure they WANT to be here that much, or understand why we're on here as much as we are.

so, if you friends from church are lurking out there, welcome to another part of my life. :-) if you still want to link to my blog from yours after reading it, welcome to everyone else who might wander this way...

wish me luck...

i'm baking chicken in cream of mushroom soup with french's onions.... green bean casserole but replace the green beans with chicken. hubby's not typically a big casserole fan, but he likes chicken and he'll eat gb casserole. i have leftover asparagus to cook up, so i thought i would sautee it as usual, and then put some of the sauce from the chicken over it. i didn't want to torture hubby with the taste of asparagus baked into the chicken, when I was already taking a risk.

baby bear has apparently decided that she is too big for 2 naps a day. i feel sorry for the nursery workers at church tonight already. hubby and i are going to a meeting, and she'll be in nursery. she is jabbering away in her crib, sometimes fake crying, sometimes talking, sometimes quiet... it's been that way for 30 minutes now, and at the moment she is quiet. maybe she fell asleep after all. if i'm lucky. we played outside today... it is warm, sunny and breezy here. she chased her ball around the yard and wanted to jump off the cliff into the woods, but i stopped her. she also wanted to go make herself comfy on the neighbor's lounger on their patio. i didn't let her get that far either. she dug her fingers into the earth pot... nothing like recycled wisconsin dirt! as she did so, i realized they will need weeding and more soil if i am going to give potted veggies another shot. so far my luck has not been very good with potted tomatoes or peppers. it's a shame, because i LOVE both. the thyme in the herb pot is green, and we'll see if the oregano and basil come back. they did last year. i love fresh herbs. they make my limited cooking skills seem fancy. nothing like a little fresh herb sprinkled across the top to say "homemade". that's what my mom taught me. anyone else grow up with parsley sprigs and cayenne pepper sprinkled across their mashed potatoes just to be pretty? (besides bec, of course). or a dad who grew nastirtiums because they were edible (they taste like radishes, if you want to know)?

it sounds like bear actuallly went to sleep. Calm. QUIET. Aahhh... that's what they mean by the phrase sleeping like a baby.

sunny day. everything's A-okay......

the meeting with my friend was not so bad. it's nice to see her excited about what she's doing to try to help with her family. we had a good chat, and baby-bear woke up from her nap just as friend was leaving... perfect timing.

i received an e-mail that the signing time video #2 came in at the library, so baby bear and i went on a little outing to retrieve it. (we haven't seen #1 yet, but no biggie.) our library has a great new play structure behind it, so it is perfect! i foresee the playground becoming a reward for good behavior while inside as she gets older. she met lots of other toddlers, most of whom were older than her. i met some mommies. i think everyone was just relieved to get some fresh air and not have to wear a coat, or jacket. there were mommies with their 4 & 8 week old boys, one had an infantino sling... that thing looked like it did it's job while she chased her 23 month old around! I was very impressed. i might try to make it to a story time with bear in the near future. these outings are good for us. and free of charge fun makes everybody happy.

when we got home, we went for a short walk down the street and back... she rode her tricycle while i steered. she actually kept her feet on the pedals, though the connection between movement and pushing the pedals with her feet has yet to be made. the cup holder on the parent steering post is really not a good idea for sugary drinks like coke, especially when the toddler on the trike has minimal stability. she almost had a hissy fit when i decided it was time to come in, but got over it soon enough.

one of these times i'll remember to bring my camera downstairs (and ti the playground) and get some new pics on her blog.

yes, it's been a good day. bear is napping, i have the guest bed ready for the next guests, laundry is almost caught up... and costco's coupon flier actually has things i'll use in it, so we may just make a costco trip next month. $4 off a big tub of laundry detergent... can't beat that! clorox wipes, kirkland diapers and wipes.... yes i do believe we will make a costco trip at some point...probly the last day the coupons are good. maybe i'll even get my photos picked out for baby bear's scrapbook, so they can be printed while i shop. ok, that would be a real miracle.

i think i'll see if i can catch some zzzz's before hubby gets home and bear wakes up...

tuesday's (wandering) thoughts:

*tonight's dinner- leftovers- salmon for one of us, chicken and potatoes for the other, cooked *spinach for me and baby bear (hubby may eat his token amount)
*i feel like we're in a construction zone, between the blasting that shakes the neighborhood from a mile away and the bulldozing going on down the hill behind/next to our house. please tell me THAT part means it won't be long before we get a retaining wall... pretty puh-lease???
*gotta call the doc and make sure the insurance company BCBS is actually paying our claims now that they heard from hubby, who verified that we indeed are not covered under another plan. beginning to wonder if saving money was worth the switch.
*friend coming in 30 minutes to pick up her mlm business catalog and try to talk me into signing up. Want to say, "what part of i'm burnt out on ALLdirect sales/mlm/networking don't you uderstand?" I will try to be more tactful. Spending more and recruiting other people to save but still spend more than they normally would in order to make money just isn't worth it. Even if the products are organic, healthful, non-carcinogenic, etc....

today's methods of procrastination...

blogging & checking e-mail, of course
going grocery shopping (for food that hubby will most likely deem unnecessary, since it includes spinach and asparagus and strawberries) prediction was correct... not quite WWIII, but not a good experience. we managed to call a truce before we fell asleep, following the advice we received in pre-marital counseling: NEVER go to bed angry at one another. (We weren't really angry at eachother, just mutually frustrated about mars/venus/money issues.) We tried, neither of us could sleep, so we talked it out and then slept soundly until 6-ish.
taking baby bear to the playground
taking baby bear outside to play with her new trike that was handed down to her (with handle for me to steer her with--- she can't quite ride it herself yet. she can ring the bell on it, though)

what i've accomplished so far today...
switched laundry loads
took a shower-
played with baby bear- read a few books, watched some of her signing video, etc...
changed a bunch of diapers.... i've been feeding her more fruit this week.
helped baby bear put away the groceries (she put away the pop cans; i put away the rest... btw, anyone with publix- coke product 6 packs are 99 cents. includes diet dr pepper, caffeine free stuff, you name it.)


still to do...
put away clean dishes, re-load dishwasher: a never ending cycle
sweep kitchen-done!
cook dinner (Salmon, asparagus, rice)- would have cost $30+ tip for both of us in a restaurant, tasted just as good, if not better than many places
fold laundry pile on guest bedroom- done and put away!
vacuum everywhere- clear floor required to do this!
change sheets on all beds- done in guest room
Re-focus on my Finding Focus Project... make a list of things to do this week and do them...
play with baby bear some more

i'll stop there for now....


Hope everyone's week is off to a great start!
Color updates- current as of 9:13 am CST Tuesday.

As we walked into church this morning, I noticed the Mom of a little boy I had in my nursery class last year. She didn't seem to recognize me, but I remembered her son. The only child with a wheat allergy who brings his own snack sort of sticks out. He was a sweet boy, too. Anyway, she was by herself, and mentioned that her little guy was home with Daddy... he just doesn't handle the whole morning (SS & Service back to back) very well. At our church that can be 4 1/2 hours, so it is understandable. Many of Baby Bear's classmates only come to one service, as they live close enough that Mom and Dad can swap duty Sundays for sunday school and then bring the child to nursery during service, or many have given up Sunday School altogether for a while. Living 25 minutes away, we sort of make Baby Bear "suck it up", to quote someone who refuses to do that (siu) with a certain kids' act that she finds annoying. We drop her off at 9:15 a.m., or shortly therafter, and then pick her up after the service ends... around 12:30 ish. Except on the weeks I work in her class. I remember how shocked I was at the beginning of this year when she was assigned to my toddler room. She was not yet 1 year old! My Baby was not old enough to be in that room!

Then it dawned on me that the kids I worked with had been younger when they entered the class, but I did not get to see them grow up that whole year, since I did not start volunteering until January. I thought Baby Bear (and (, for that matter) might do well with a break from Mommy, but the age group really was best for her. Now I'm glad we are in there together. Just when she is beginning to tire of being in nursery, Mommy shows up. And while she is generally a happy camper, playing with her friends, fighting over toys, and patting the Bible (or lifting it at the end of the B-I-B-L-E song), during those edgy moments when one tired toddler overreacts to another, Mommy is there. Plus, it dawned on me recently that it is good for her to see Mommy holding and plaing with other children. While she is curently the "center of our world" at home, when God does allow us to have another one, she will need to learn to share her Mommy,Daddy, and toys.

p.s. While all the kids seem to like the toy piano in our nursery, I've noticed that Baby Bear and the son of a drummer in a Christian band seem to like it the most. I guess having a piano around for her to bang on does peak that natural curiosity... even if Mommy isn't quite a professional musician.
p.p.s As I sit and watch the wiggles with bear, it doesn't grate me quite as badly as Friday night... but I can see why certain people choose to steer their kids minds away from such randim silliness. I'm not sure that most kids need this much help being silly.

Further proof that horoscopes are worthless...

You Should Be A Cancer

What's good about you: you're incredibly kind, caring, and generous What's bad about you: you can be too moody and impossible to understand In love: you enjoy wining and dining the object of your affection In friendship, you're: likely to depend on other friends for emotional support Your ideal job: historian, marine biologist, or religious figure Your sense of fashion: you dress to match your mood You like to pig out on: classic home cooked meals, like mac and cheese

What Sign Should You Be?

Does this mean I should read the horoscope for Cancer, if I read it at all? Because according to this, I shouldn't be what I am.

Just for fun, any non-family members want to guess my actual sign without scrolling back in my blog for clues?

it's time for "i told you so" from crt...

hubby and i made the mistake of thinking that because crt doesn't tolerate sesame street, and we do without a problem, she was being a little melodramatic in her opinion of the wiggles.

she wasn't. baby bear seems to love them, but i suspect the only time we'll let baby bear actually watch the darn dvd is when she's upstairs in her pack and play while i'm showering. it's not that there's anything morally wrong with the dvd... it's just the most random collection of songs. annoyingly random collection of songs. seriously, what kind of drugs are these grown men taking? the educational value is.... debatable, to be generous. i need to go check out the reviews on amazon to see what the general public thought. God help us all if it was a hit.

we should have gone with little einsteins, dora, or even blue's clues which bores baby bear half to death.... oh, well. at least baby bear likes it. or should that worry me?

Stephanie at Olive Tree posted about the upcoming
ULTIMATE BLOG PARTY...

thought I'd go ahead and share it with all who may be interested!

modern tools, of sorts

We have lived in our house about 3 1/2 years. I have become a huge fan of such modern conveniences as the garbage disposal and dishwasher. One of these days, I will clean my self-cleaning oven, but the one in our former apartment always smelled awful, so for now I jet let the gunk build up... I know, that's bad. Anyway, our dishwasher is nice, but lately it's been having some issues... mostly with spotting, etc. I couldn't remember the last time I used rinse aid, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. Hubby bawlked at the $4 price tag for the blue liquid, but we still bought it. This morning, as I put the clean dishes away, I noticed a significant difference in the shine of the dishes. The plastic things were actually dry, too.

I don't remember ever seeing my mom use rinse aid in the dishwasher. And I am sure because it was considered to be a luxury that we didn't need. Well, it sure was nice to have the tupperware actually dry this morning. I think I'll splurge on the blue stuff a little more often from now on.

What a difference a couple of days makes...

Baby Bear and I went for our first walk of the season. She roamed the front yard, stopping to pet the shrubs and crocus blossoms. Our daffodils are getting taller, so in a week or so, we should have blossoms. Oh, and just because I am in the south, does not mean I will tarnish the daffodil name and call them buttercups. Buttercups are a different yellow flower, one that I used to pick near the woods down the street from my house as a little girl. While the color may be similar, daffodils are much taller and have larger blossoms.

After Baby Bear pet the green stuff, we walked two houses down before she asked to be picked up. So we returned to the house, where I put her in the stroller, and we went for a real walk. We passed 3 other moms who were out and about in the warm, sunny and fresh air. One was talking on her cell as she pushed her little girl, one was holding her 3 month old son with one arm and the dog's leash with the other, and the other was speed walking with her stroller and looked too young to be a mom. Maybe she was the babysitter.

Perhaps we can go buy some more flowers to plant this weekend. The crocus bulbs are pretty, but our yard could use more color. Anyone want to dig in the dirt for me? Just kidding, I find it rather invigorating... until I have to scrub the dirt out from underneath my nails. Even when I wear garden gloves, some dirt manages to creep in through the tiny holes and paste itself into my skin.

Here's why I rarely cook from scratch:(the white bag behind the canister fell out from the cabinet

above the stove and into the bowl, sending flour and baking soda flying everywhere.)

After I swept up this portion of the mess,
Baby Bear decided she liked the floor better covered in flour.

The end result:

Yummy Nestle-Tollhouse homemade chocolate-chip cookies.
Without nuts.

All's well that ends well!

The problem with road trips...

is that you can never do everything you want to, especially if it's just for a weekend. We've had a good time relaxing here. Hubby and Computer Guy trekked out in the snow yesterday to run a few errands, as well as window-shop at the sporting goods store. I find it funny that hubby actually window shops for his toys more often than I go clothes shopping. That's probably a good thing, though.

Anyway, other than going to church this morning, we've hung out at home. I am so thankful we have family with whom we can just relax.

Next time we head North, we'll have to plan ahead and get together with Grace's gang. That would be a fun adventure. I'd be calling her kids by their pseudonyms. The energy level would be close to nuclear, but in a good way. (Well, assuming the kiddos cooperate, of course.) Thankfully we make it up this way a few times a year, so when the weather is nice, it will be easier.

So here I sit, with crt's laptop on my lap and hubby has ours on his. The kiddos are in bed. Thankfully it sounds like Baby Bear has gone to sleep on her own. We do hear an occasional thump from one of the older girls, but that's normal around here.

she's still my baby...

It seems that lately I have been noting how big my little one is growing. She's attempting new words almost daily . (Today's word is "go!") In the past, I've mourned the fact that she typically doesn't fall asleep in my arms. The Mommy in me would love to just hold her indefinitely. While the pragmatist in me is glad she sleeps independently, a little more cuddle time is always welcome.

Our daughter was cranky when we put her down tonight. I guess I would be cranky, too, if I had to sleep in a closet. It's a large walk-in, so don't be alarmed. The pack and play fits in with room to spare, and it has an air vent and a light switch. This is not the cupboard under the stairs. My mothering instincts kicked in, and I decided to go back up stairs and try to settle her down. It was not easy, but eventually she laid down on my torso, her back to my tummy. I could feel her body relax. I had the blinds open, so the glow of the moonlight and neighborhood lights reflecting off the snow below served as a night light. Baby Bear seemed to want to go toward the light coming into the room through the cracks around the doorway, but eventually she settled down. Until Daddy came to check on us. She was glad to go to him for a few minutes though she returned to my arms pretty quickly. Eventually, both of us fell asleep on the bed, and about an hour or so later, I woke up to my little one sleeping and snoring peacefully underneath my arm. I snuck her into the closet and laid her in the pack and play, where she is sleeping soundly.

I can't say that I blame her for not settling down. She's in a small "room" that is relatively unfamiliar to her. She has been playing with her cousins all day, and loves every minute of getting into her cousins' toys, climbing on the little tikes castle, and going down the slide. And don't forget her gleeful response to chasing Jessie, the not-so-little kitty. She loves to give Jessie kisses when she catches her, and Jessie does not hiss at her like Princess or Lucy would.

Bedtimes like tonight remind me that my growing toddler is still a baby. She may be twenty-something pounds of baby, but she is not yet a little girl. The instinct to protect and care for her and to make her comfortable when she can't quite comfort herself, is one of God's greatest gifts to women. In light of recent events, I am even more grateful that she still needs her Mommy. Her Mommy needs her, too.

winter retreat...

While some might long to retreat from their winter wonderland this weekend, we have opted to retreat northward to experience true winter weather. Baby-bear slept very little on the drive up to her older cousins, and she has already had a grand time being chased by Monarch and Purple Princess, chasing Jessie (the fat cat that doesn't do anything), pushing Purple Princess' old little tikes trike, and climbing the stairs. the older girls try their hardest to keep her downstairs, but our little one is quick.

We were surprised by how far north we had to drive before we saw any snow accumulation... but the beauty of the ice on the trees and the crystals glistening on the ground was worth the wait. The interstates and main roads are clear, and even the neighborhood streets are relatively passable. I find it refreshing to experience a taste of true winter weather... and if it is going to be as cold as it has been lately, we might as well get to see the snow (and play in it, even if it's for a mere 5 minutes or less). We even saw a couple of men ice-fishing on a pond near the interstate. I haven't seen a pond that frozen since... well, definitely since before we move to TN from the MidWest when I was in high school. Perhaps Baby Bear will fall into a snow drift tomorrow (we won't let her sstay there, don't worry.)

Starting last night, Baby-bear has been around her relatives, and I am so grateful. I have fond, ye distant memories of our drives to my cousins' in PA when we were little, including our dog, Gabe playing with their dog, Sheba. (I had to be younger than 5, since Gabe was hit by a school bus when I was in Kindergarten.) Anyway, I am glad she had time with Juliana last night and this morning, and now she gets to be overwhelmed by the exuberance of her older cousins.

It looks like they're expecting more snow tonight.

DATE NIGHT!!!!!!

I cleaned a bunch today... didn't get all the laundry folded, but the kitchen floor is no longer gross, the guest bath is clean, and the counter top and bar between the kitchen and living room are essentially clear. Baby Bear probably didn't know what to think of her Mommy's cleaning frenzy. It's amazing what happens when people are coming over...

We had our symphony date tonight. The evening began at Uncle Gio's, a local Italian place. The food was yummy, and it was so nice to eat uninterrupted by a fidgety toddler. Bec, Brett, & cousin Juliana came over. Apparently Baby-Bear did pretty well, except for literally pulling her cousin out of the toddler chair. Then, apparently she acted like she wanted to get up, but she didn't want her cousin to have the chair, so she stayed put and pouted. Finally, the tossed the chair around together. Or something like that. Bec might tell the real story on her blog.

Anyway, while Juliana was sharing her Mommy and Daddy with our daughter, we enjoyed our nice, peaceful dinner. Then we headed downtown to hear the symphony
at the new Schermerhorn symphony center. Parking and shuttle were free for symphony patrons.... while the garage was technically within walking distance, the chilly night air made the shuttle even more appealing. We especially enjoyed the first half, which included classics by Beethoven and Haydn. The cellist "rocked it hard core," to quote hubby. The 2nd half was composed by Philip Glass, an American composer. While technically the music was superb, the subject matter was a bit eastern for our tastes. It helped to not read the lyrics in the program and just focus on the music. As we headed down to the complimentary coat room to pick up my coat, a familiar face was coming down the staircase above us... Nashville's mayor. I supposed the woman with him was his wife, but I haven't the slightest clue.
It was a fun, relaxing evening. Hubby did good for Valentine's this year. We were apart for the Holiday last year, so I guess he felt he had to make up for it. No complaints here. The whole experience made me glad that my musical knowledge and appreciation are (hopefully) a little better than many American's. There wasn't a bad place in the hall, and I can say that because we were seated very near the back and the sound was still good. The precision of the orchestra, the animation of the conductor, and the choir's artistry made the show. (I told hubby they had to be good musicians to sing the lyrics of the Glass composition and not laugh... and it was not a comedy. Forgive me, please. ) Oh, and one cannot forget the beauty of the building. I felt rich just being in a place like that. I felt loved by the one God has given me. I observed a very expectant Mom, and remembered how Baby Bear used to dance to the classical music I played in my office when I was pregnant with her. Hubby held the doors for me, helped me with my coat, put his arm around me... I felt cherished. While we love our daughter dearly, it was nice to have an evening for just the two of us. And I hope that in spite of their toddler tiffs, the girls will grow to be great friends.

We might be heading to Indy tomorrow... hubby is off work on Monday, and he thinks he misses the cold. And his brother, crt, and Monarch and purple Princess. (Might is actually probably misleading... we are planning on it. I just haven't started packing yet.)

Good night, Friends!

Valentine's Musings

Hubby is very patient with me in my "domestically challenged" state. Every once in a while, I come through with something that breaks my pattern of helpessness. Now, you won't catch me baking much from scratch, like my brother's wife (the Chocolate Queen). At least, not often. That's not to say I never will, but for me, as most of you who have lurked around here a while know, it's an accomplishment to cook. Period. Well, a week or so ago, Tech Mom told me about a recipe someone she works with uses for Pork Roast. I think. Maybe it was roast beef. All I remembered was that it involved Garlic and Ginger. Well guess what hubby requested for his valentine dinner? Yep, a pork roast or pork chops , marinated and cooked in the crock pot. Sara Groves shared that the best advice she received from her Mom as a newlywed was not to make her husband guess what she wanted. Set him up for success. In my 7+ years of marriage, while I would love to come up with a good surprise at some point, I have learned it's better to set myself up for success than leave hubby terribly disappointed. That wise advice works both ways.

Baby bear and I went grocery shopping this morning. Publix gave us a free red carnation "just because" it's Valentine's Day. Baby bear loved smelling her carnation, and she miraculously did not ingest any of it. The stem lasted about halfway through the store, and I was only picking up a few items there. After getting what I wanted at Publix, we headed across the street to the Neighborhood Market, a mini-version of the big superstore that everyone loathes and loves simultaneously. Except for the bold minority who manage to boycott it for philosophical reasons.

I had hoped hubby's diet dew would still be on sale at NM. It wasn't. So I kicked myself for not picking it up at Publix, since their sale price was still better than NM's everyday price. But I did not go back. Baby bear charmed the ladies in the checkout at NM, just as she had at Publix, and she fell asleep by halfway home. She is still sleeping in her crib as I type.

Anyway, I thought I would blog about my experiment, as I manage to lose recipes that I write down. I used what I remembered from Tech Mom's description, combined it with what I read in my crockery cookbook and threw in a bit of my own creativity (if ginger ale can count as my own creativity)... and now it cooks. I pray it works out, because this meal is hubby's main Valentine's gift. And I bought enough so there may even be leftovers for Baby Bear's babysitters tomorrow night, when we go out for our actual date.


Ginger Garlic Apple Pork Roast
2 1/2 -3 lb. pork roast, cut in half
2 tbs. garlic-ginger seasoning stuff that was by the diced garlic at the store, spread all over meat
ground sea salt and pepper, on both sides of the meat
1/2 yellow onion
1 lb. carrots
2 c ginger ale
1 c apple juice

Put in crock pot and let it cook! I'm doing it for 6 hours on high only because I didn't get home from the store til noon, and I don't want to wait til 8 or 10 p.m. for supper.

Serve with homemade mashed potatoes and canned creamed corn. For dessert: Duncan Hines chocolate lover's brownies with chocolate chunks in it. And maybe homemade chocolate cookies with brown and white chocolate chips, if I get around to baking them (miraculously from scratch).

That, my friends, is my Valentine's Day kitchen experiment. Hope it tastes as good as it sounds to me.

XOXOX

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY,
EVERYONE!!!

May you be blessed by the thoughts and presence of your loved ones.
May the little (or furry) ones in your life give you lots of slobbery kisses today.
May you know that somewhere in the rolling countryside of Tennessee,
this "wandering" brunette is thankful for your friendship.
May the Lord bless you and keep you!

It's beginning to look a lot like dandruff

Something caught my eye during breakfast. At first I thought it was a swarm of flies or something just outside the back door. A second later, I realized it was snow flurries. I'll take snow flurries over the cold, gross, bone-chilling rain that we had all day yesterday. I could not bring myself to bundle baby bear and go out in it... so it looks like we'll be facing the flurries today. They are so light that the roads barely have the pretty swirls, and you can only see the snow on the ground if you look closely between the blades of grass (or clumps of weeds, in our case).

Roadblock: laziness

Bulldozer: Just do It

Must do this week:
laundry- put away!
change guest room sheets
mop kitchen
clean bathrooms
clean science projects out of fridge
decide on a valentine's meal

There's more, but I'll start with these.

one BIG thing crossed of the list

OUR TAXES ARE DONE!!! WOO HOO!

It took us about 3 hours tonight, but all's well that ends well!

Has anyone else ever thought of inviting someone to join you at a special event when it's already too late? That happened to me today. I thought of three people in particular who might possibly have been able to come, as they would not have to take off work or fly on an airplane to get here. Unfortunately, I thought of them while I was sitting at the registration table helping other moms find their name tags for the monthly Mom's HEART(Hearing Encouragement and Rejoicing Together) meeting at our church. This meeting usually consists of brunch, a speaker or two, door prizes, and a discussion group with your table at the end. We're assigned to the same table every month to help us get to know one another a little better by the end of the "year" (May).

I had heard of the key speaker. I had heard some of her songs on the radio, and knew I liked them. But I had not realized how much I would like the rest of her music... until today. The petite brunette with the Minnesota accent and adorable pregnant belly fit right into the room full of Moms, most of whom have pre-schoolers. She shared from her heart, and I'm sure all of us teared up at one point or another, if not bawled. I had heard her sing an offertory during a worship service at our church a few months back, and it turns out that she toured with the husband of one of the Mom's HEART coordinators. I know we are blessed to be in Music City, but still...

I don't know how I've made it this long without buying one of Sara Groves' albums. I am sorry I didn't think to invite any of you. While I know most could not have made it anyway.... I'm still sorry. Her songs were about real life... relationships, parenting, God... she is a very gifted songwriter and musician. One thing she shared that touched me the most was that she is learning to not look back at the specific moments (especially of struggles/perceived failures) as a mom, but to look at the patterns of how she spends time with her kids, etc... She has already learned that looking back on the big picture can be a lot more encouraging to her. Or something of the sort. That's some of what I got from it, anyway.

I'm going to try to catch up on some things around the house this week, so I may ground myself from blogger... although we all know how well that worked last time around.

i couldn't link to the meme on olive tree, so i did this one instead:

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced. Overall, your true self is passive and thoughtful. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem sad and helpless.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

i think it's almost frighteningly accurate.

once upon a time, fuzzy socks were a luxury i did not think i cared about. raised in an uber-frugal home, there were far more important things on which to spend my parents' money, and later on, my own. well, last year i received a pair of fuzzy slipper socks for Christmas. i fell in love. nothing quite compares to the feeling of soft chenille on your winter-parched feet. this Christmas, i found some on sale. i purchased 2 pair for gifts, and one for myself, in nice, simple black. so inconspicuos that casual observers will not notice that such luxury is included in my casual outfit. (unless they have a foot fetish, God help them.) the last time i went to the gym, i stopped by fashion bug and found the pair pictured above... on sale, of course. there were some bright, sanguine socks in the clearance basket, and then this pair: understatedly funky.... casually cozy.... yeah, something along those lines. worth the money...

this picture shows my feet doing what i've felt like doing all week. and except for a few loads of laundry and meals, this is pretty much all they have done. perhaps i'll make it back to the gym tomorrow.... and while i'm at it, maybe i'll go next door to see if there are any other fuzzy socks on clearance. i may even cut hubby's hair this weekend, as he is about to die from his shag, so he thinks. (me thinks thou art a wee bit melodramatic when it comest to thy shaven locks, my beloved. thy shag is yet shorter than the fuzz on these socks.)

seeing baby mac was not as hard as i expected it to be tonight. it was good to see my friend looking so good, and his proud big sisters were beaming. and when we ate our pot pie, it tasted good, so i hope our friends liked theirs', too.