the roller coaster...

I know the baby blues are normal, but a few days ago I found myself spiraling downward, overwhelmed by everything that I need to do and my inability to do it, or even a quarter of "it." I felt like God messed up somehow when He made me, because I hate that I wrestle with depression and/or anxiety (depends on the day or moment you catch me). NOT a good place to be. Thankfully Hubby and my close friends know just what to say... or not to say. They know when to listen and give a big hug. I KNOW what I was thinking isn't true, that my Creator designed me exactly how He wanted me to be, but there I went again... The rest of the week has gone much more smoothly.

Our little buddy has his first cough, and though he lacks a fever, I am watching him closely. He's been sleeping more today, so he must be fighting something... either that, or his body realized he is only 6 1/2 weeks old and while big sis is fun to watch, he needs sleep. Or maybe both.

The bright side is I've tackled a couple of things which were pestering me AND had some one on one time with Bear while her brother slept. I am thinking more clearly and in light of the Truth. And Hubby's words reminded me of a song that was sung at our wedding:

all of my life
i have dreamed
that somehow love would find me
now i can't believe you're standing here

If beauty is all
in the eye
of the beholder then i
wish you could see
the love for you that lives in me

(Chorus)
And you would know you have my heart
If you could see, what i see
that a treasure's what you are
if you could see, what i see
Created to be
the only one for me
If you could see, what i see

I know there are days
when you feel
so much less than ideal
wondering what i see in you

It's all of the light
and the grace
your belief in me drives me to say
that i promise you
a faithful love, forever true

(Chorus)

if you could see
then you'd understand
why i fall down to my knees
and i pray my love
will be worthy of
the one who gave his life
so our love could be

if you could see
what i see(x2)

You're created to be
The perfect one for me
If you could see
What i see

if beauty is all
in the eye
of the beholder then i
am beholding...
true beauty



If You Could See What I See by Geoff Moore and the Distance

my adventures in babywearing

So far, my babywearing adventures post-delivery have been limited. Tech Mom made me a GORGEOUS ring sling which I posted about earlier, and I had difficulty using it. However, using Steph Precourt's video as a guide, I have been able to make it work for us... tummy to tummy definitely feels more secure. I have also carried "Buddy" cradle hold style as well as tummy to tummy in the Lite on Shoulder Baby holder slings which my dear friends Steph and Anna got me as a shower gift. They are perfect when I want to spend time outside without messing with the stroller/infant carrier. I've even done a little gardening wearing my little guy... cut back dead gladiola leaves. And played frisbee with Bear. It's so nice to be able to hold the baby and spend quality time with his big sister! Oh, and this morning I slipped him into the sling while I ate my toast, because I was not in the mood for a fussy child after a near-perfect night (10:0-4:00 sleeping, feeding, then sleeping until 7 again). I think I'll get the hang of these sling things!

:)

My man is holding our little guy... there's something about seeing it that makes my heart melt. Over and over again.

Bear likes to put off going to bed by giving Mommy and Brother hugs and kisses. Over and over again. That makes my heart melt, too.

A cousin who lives across the country and I have not seen since our Grandpa's funeral, sent us a package today. We've received a lot of packages in the past month, but this one made my heart melt. I think it's because the fact that our relatives are all spread out, yet somehow my parents kept in touch with many of them through the years, and now some of us are keeping in touch. Some day we'll make it out to the SF Bay area for a visit.

Staples.com is prompt. Can't say that makes my heart melt, but it is a good thing. (Oh, yeah, punctuality is always a good thing.)

I think I'm going to see how much sleep I can get before our little guy wakes up for his next snack. But before I do, I am reminding myself that the newborn phase, with it's unpredictability, will pass far too quickly. It won't be long until it will feel like he's been smiling at me forever, and he'll move on to master a bigger skill. These first smiles make my heart melt. I wish I could capture one on camera, but they're still in the unpredictable stage. So for now, unless you happen to be right there and one of the few graced with my son's sweet smile straight into your eyes, I get to keep them for myself.

normalcy?

Is it possible? To show you how "out of the norm" I feel, the fact is illustrated by the fact that I almost posted this on the "Whatcha' got cookin'" collaborative blog about... cooking. Thankfully I caught my error before posting.

Anyway, I just read Steph's recent post about feeling like a failure as a Mom of 4, and that sort of put me in my place. And sort of not. I mean, I only have TWO kids. I should be able to juggle, right?

However, the fact of the matter is that between raging new-Mom hormones, having an active toddler and a needy newborn, no matter how many kids you have, motherhood is just hard sometimes. I forgot about that part.

I think I am finally almost over feeling like a failure for quitting nursing... for the 2nd time. Oh, I am still a little sad that it hasn't worked out for us, but baby has to eat, and the 2-hour sessions which seemed to go smoothly, well... 10 minutes after they were over, my heart would sink as he acted soo famished. I was a mere pacifier, apparently. I confess, I was not willing to see a lactation consultant or get help from the LLL. Just didn't have the motivation to try that hard this time around, after the emotional hell I went through 3 years ago. Now that I think my milk is drying up and the pain is decreasing, things are getting a lot easier feeding-wise. I did switch back to Dr. Brown's bottles, using the cheap-o Evenflo seems to result in far more more spit-up. I know this has been a recurring topic on my blog, I sometimes wish I were one that "didn't think about things too much", but when you have an ideal in your mind, you have to decide how much it means to you, and if you choose to let go... work through the process in your own way and own time. God bless the Moms who have the motivation to stick it out, or whose little ones take to it naturally. And God bless the rest of us, too.

Anyway, I am on a search for some sense of normalcy/routine. By that I mean, I would like to find a way to get a shower in the morning instead of after Bear goes to bed (though I might still need that evening shower, too). Hubby steps up and helps with the housework in the evenings, which is a good thing because otherwise it seems like nothing would get done.

I am soo grateful for the friends who have brought meals the past 5 weeks... seriously, I have tears in my eyes because were it not for their generousity, we might have starved. (Ok, maybe not.)

I just wanted to drop in and say hi, give a glimpse at where I am "at", and I hope all is well with my blogging buddies and friends and family who lurk on here. Now I need to make some lunch...

ooh!!!!

A big thanks to Steph Precourt for her videos on how to wear baby slings! My ring slings have come in handy already (Bear and I took a leisurely walk/"treasure hunt" yesterday and I carried sleeping Buddy the whole time , but I definitely needed some tips. The cradle hold was not comfy for either of us when he was awake, but fine for sleeping.

Pray for the Wyatt's

They have a 1 1/2 year old son, Jack, and twins on the way in December.

And they are moving from TN to NYC to be missionaries, working in a church there. You can read more about their calling here. It truly is THEIR calling, not just Freddy T.'s, and I am amazed by his wife Susan's faith in what's such a busy time in their life already!

flashback to thanksgiving of 05

okay, not as drastic. i put my size 12's in the wash a couple of hours ago. a few minutes after switching my clothes into the dryer, i heard a clunking noise. at first i wanted hubby to figure out the cause, but then i remembered... my cell phone.

don't try to reach me on my cell, it won't work. at least the house isn't on fire.

i think my mental state is deteriorating.

a minor mama milestone

I fit into my size 12 jeans! I guess you could call it pumping the pounds away.... Little Man remains a slow eater, no matter how he's fed. We've reached my goal of mostly breastmilk for the first month, and he is thriving. It feels good to know that he is doing so well. I would quit pumping in a heartbeat, but anyone who has weaned knows it's not that simple, and I inevitably give in and pump to relieve the pressure, so to speak. At least he is satisfied after bottle feedings, unlike after most nursing sessions. In addition to mama's weight loss (almost 15 lbs so far, half of what I gained), baby's weight gain to 9 lb 5 oz is celebrated!

quest for gas

There's one type of gas that is far too prolific in our home. But the fuel shortage is what has our area going completely insane this weekend. I waited 15 minutes in line to top off my tank yesterday, as our other car is almost empty so hubby will drive the SUV to work until gas stations have supplies again. Here's a pic of the view I had from my spot on the road. I just happened to have my camera with me thanks to the baby shower:

Cardboard Testimonies

A friend e-mailed this to me, and I had to post it:

I never thought I'd say this...

...but breastfeeding is harder than having a baby without the epidural. Maybe not physically, but emotionally it's WAY harder. Because when you think your child has eaten well, and then he or she hasn't, you feel like you have done something wrong, even when there is nothing else you could do.

We've made it almost 3 weeks. Hubby goes back to work tomorrow, which will be the test. My resolve is pretty low at this point. I take that back. My resolve to be a good Mom is stronger than ever. My conviction that breastfeeding is always best, not so much. In the grand scheme of things, the struggles I have dealt with in trying to nurse both of my kids are minor. They pale in comparison to what many of my friends have gone through with preemies and health problems related to pregnancy. I am blessed with a perfectly healthy daughter who thrived on formula after struggling with nursing. Our son is thriving on breastmilk, but I have chosen to pump and bottle feed after way too many extended nursing sessions which ended only to leave him unsatisfied. Maybe he'll grow into it, maybe not... but I was not about to let him start losing weight in the process, and he made it clear he was still hungry.

It's a challenge, because I would prefer to nurse than pump. period. But what's the point if he's hungry 5 minutes later? I know some might not agree with my choice, I also know that God gave each Mother instincts, and there are times that only the Mom can know what is best. Thankfully, this time we have had some sweet nursing sessions, not the latching struggles that I had with my first. However things turn out, I will be at peace with the journey, even though way was hard.

Wordless Wednesday: Portraits
Taken Saturday, August 26th at our home.

If you live near Chattanooga, TN/North GA and need a photographer,
I highly recommend Dotson Studios!

Ahh...

That's a sigh of relief. It's been a full hour since we completed a nursing session, and Little Guy is still asleep. He's got to be going through a growth spurt or something, because the past 2 days he has forced me to spend much more time sitting than doing anything else. I don't mind the cuddling; but when he is hungry 10 or 15 minutes later after nursing for a LONG time, it gets frustrating. Oh, well, we'll get through it one way or another.

Hubby is a great Daddy. He has been so good with Bear, making sure she gets to do some special things like paint pictures with him. (He said his paintings are about the same as they were in 3rd or 4th grade).

One of my biggest concerns as Little Guy's birth approached was that PPD would kick in. Oh, I've had a few hormonal mood swings and frustrations already mentioned, but I am thankful that the Lord has sustained me, and given me true joy through the journey this time. The first few weeks of Bear's life were shrouded in a fog of uncertainty, fear, worry about her lack of weight gain, and loneliness due to my partner being far away. As much as I tried not to let that fog consume me, it did. If it weren't for family and friends whom the Lord sent to walk beside me, I really don't think I would have survived. Oh, the family time we've had together since then made the sacrifice worth it, but that does not change the difficulty of the cumulative factors. And I wish I had recognized how deep my struggles were during that time frame, because I'm sure some medication would have been good for me.

Anyway, the journey into life with two kids is much more joyful so far. I love it. I love my husband and my children even more than I could have ever imagined. The way Bear dotes on her baby brother makes me smile; she is so mothering. (And sometimes smothering, we have to keep an eye on her.)

God has been good. He truly is our Sustainer, Creator and Prince of Peace. And every time Bear sees a cross (and sometimes plus sings), she reminds us, "Jesus died on the cross for our sins!" I can't wait to see her tender heart draw nearer to Him as she grows up.

2 weeks ago today & an update
(our birth story)

(fyi DH= Dear Hubby)

Let's see here... backtrack...

Early Tuesday morning I woke up to pee at 3:30. Couldn't get back to sleep, so I got online for a bit. I ate a nutty bar and had a glass of milk. Had to pee again, and was constipated, so I decided to drink some prune juice, that was about 5 a.m. I went back to bed, and shortly afterward, contractions began. It was a little after 6, I think. But I wasn't sure if they were contractions or indigestion from the juice. I got up to go to the bathroom and felt a small gush, similar to the one I had felt the night before. Except this time, the gush was followed by more liquidy trickle and not just mucous. And gradually, each time I went to the bathroom, there was a teensy bit of pink mixed in. Around 6:30 a.m. I decided to call my doula and my parents. Mom and Dad arrived about 7:15, and we told our doula to meet us at the hospital. When we left the house, my contractions were 12-15 minutes apart, but I knew I was GBS+ and needed to get on the IV since my water had broken. Of course, we hit traffic, but we kept reminding ourselves how much worse it would be if we had been going north into the city (I delivered at a smaller county hospital, but it has a level II NICU.) Sure enough, once we hit the interstate, we were cruising for 5 minutes til we hit the exit, then we were there. Good thing, too... because let's just say the prune juice worked. Way too well. But I was contracting at ready to meet my baby and did not care too much to be utterly humiliated. (The denim, almost brand new capris did end up in the trash, though.)
By the time I got to my room and the IV was in, it was 8:30. They put me on fluids and the penicillin, as well as zofran for nausea (I have a bad gag reflex normally, so the onset of nausea came as no surprise to me), and told me I could only have ice chips. I HAD to rinse my mouth after being nauseous (I have a bad gag reflex anyway, and it kicked in as the contractions got worse), I also snuck sips of water. I knew I was not planning on the epidural, even though I did sign the forms just in case. At this point the contractions were about 5 minutes apart. My doula was coming down from the downtown area, and had not arrived yet, but hubby was doing well and they were manageable. However, when she did arrive, I was so relieved to see her. (Honestly, I was still a little apprehensive about having an almost-stranger who I had met twice before attend my birth, but I knew from talking to friends that the extra support would be helpful. I knew she knew what my goals were and respected them, I liked her, I just felt a little odd having a non family member and non nurse present. Little did I know how much I would come to value her support!....)

The nurse checked me when I got there, I was about 3-4 cm, but about an hour and a half later I was already up to a 7. At that point, I had a burst of confidence. It was hard, but DH and Heather were helping me stay calm and focused, telling me I was doing a great job and could do it. Shortly after this, it got REALLY, hard. Really painful, and burning pain. My hips were killing me, and DH and Heather each massaged one, my lower back, or my neck as I requested it. I was sitting upright, the bed was set so it was kind of a modified sitting/squatting, and I gripped DH's hand for dear life and my doula's, too. One of the nurses came in from the nursery to have me sign something, and as I was working through a contraction, she also encouraged me. It turns out, in her 20 yrs of nursing experience, she was a labor coach. She encouraged me to try to relax my grip as I breathed, and use lower tones instead of screams. (My doula had tried telling me this, don't know why it took another person for it to kick into my brain.)
At this point, I also began closing my eyes and doing neck rolls back and forth, that helped me relax. I also found that pelvic circles helped in between contractions. The pain was so intense, changing positions was really hard for me, so I stayed pretty much in the same position that whole time.
I had begun to give up, and told DH and Heather I wanted to ask about my options when the nurse came back in. When she came back, she checked me first, and I was at 8 cm, but she said she could stretch it to a 9 if I wanted. Um, of course! And I knew by the time the meds got there, they wouldn't kick in until after the baby came out, so we were going for it.
It was really hard. I cussed a lot (at least I am honest), prayed a lot, moaned a lot. I stated aloud, "This is better for my baby." My OBs and nurses never once questioned my goal of an NCB through the whole process. to the point that they did not even strip my membranes when I had gone in on Monday and found out that my water had not broken. During labor, when it got really bad, my support team reminded me that NCB is only better if I could stay relaxed and helped me focus my breathing.
As I hit transition, it was awful. My doula suggested I change positions and try side-lying, and even though it hurt even more, it was just what Brandon needed. The nurses were prepping the tables and tools, OB prepping with her gloves, and I knew the time was coming (they had been in and out doing their things, monitoring me and my fluids and BP, throughout, my DH and doula were the only ones there the whole time)
I can't really describe the pain. By the time I was able to push, I was lacking the strength, and gripping my husband's biceps for dear life. I had to let go and grip the handles on the bed.
The really cool part in the midst of the pain was that though I could not control the pain, I did not feel out of control in the same way I had when I had been medicated with DD. It was a different lack of control, but I kept reminding myself of the purpose.
I was almost scared to push when it was really time, and my team coached me when to breath, hold breaths, push, etc. I pushed for about 20 minutes, through 4 or5 sets of contractions, and his head made it out. Then his shoulders.
I got to hold my little guy immediately, all slimy and gorgeous. He was blue, which scared me, but his apgars were still 8/9, and he was alert, etc..
He weighed in at 8 lbs 9 oz, 21 inches long, 14 cm head circumference, at 12:17 p.m.
He is perfect. His head is perfect.

I have felt so much better physically than after DD was born. Still tired, of course, but not as sore, and am bleeding less. I don't feel like I am in the medicated fog that I was after DD's birth, and am so glad I tried to go natural and basically did, except for the fluids and antibiotic.
Would I do it again? I would like to say yes, but I will say, "I hope so." It was intensely difficult, and fortunately I had a quick labor, relatively speaking. I don't know that I could have done it with a longer labor. I am fortunate in that there was no need for extra interventions, my BP stayed good, baby's heartbeat was good, etc. And when the lead anesthesiologist came in to ask how I was recovering from the epidural (since I had signed the paperwork, I was on his list), I was able to laugh and ask and tell him I managed without it.

***

I'd like to say that nursing is going perfectly, but alas there are some physiological difficulties and my baby's mouth just needs to be a bit bigger for his suck to be more effective. Plus he nurses well for 5 minutes, then turns into a sleepyhead. So it's a struggle, but we're still giving it our best. My goal is to make it through the first month... sometimes it's just day by day. When hubby goes back to work, I doubt I will be able to nurse him for 1 1/2 to 2 hours almost straight and be the Mommy that our daughter needs, so he'd better pick up the pace.... I refuse to stress out like I did with Bear, and don't have it in me to consult various experts every other day for suggestions. Baby has to eat, period. And when he goes to kindergarten, they won't ask how he was fed as a newborn.

I stole this from Zann's private blog. It holds true for anxious second time moms as well....


To A First Time Mother
by Helen Rittell

Relax, my dear, your little elf
Is just an amateur herself.
So if your hands, so newly filled
Seem somewhat less than skilled,
Relax, I say. This little pinkling
Doesn't have the slightest inkling
That you are new to baby lore.
She's never had a mom before.

Sigh

I've got a another slow nurser/weak sucker on my hands. He is perfect in every other way, and he latches far better than Bear ever did. But if he doesn't speed up, I'm a bit worried he won't get enough or build supply. I can't nurse for 2 hours at a time every time.... at least not after hubby goes back to work. And he hates trying to nurse after I've pumped. It's a vicious cycle.

A Public Service Announcement

Now that he's made his appearance, I plan to post Little Guy's updates on my kid-centered blog (Hannah Bear's Cave), and eventually return to posting some of my mind's random ramblings, er... wanderings... on this one. You can also find me on FB (e-mail me if you want to befriend me there).

balloons from Granwendy & Grandaddy

We have been incredibly blessed by support from family and friends, even since before Little Guy made his appearance. My parents took care of Bear on Monday and Tuesday. We had several visitors at the hospital, but not too many. Upon arrival home, a friend from church brought a meal, and the next day our next door neighbors brought over a crock pot full of pulled pork (BBQ here in the south) as well as a tray full to freeze for later. Bear's friends came to meet her little brother (their mom brought us drinks from Sonic while we were still in the hospital- yummy lemon berry slush!) And Tech Mom and Dad, Caslon & Camera Guy were here until this morning. They took great care of us, and gave Bear the extra attention I am not able to give her just yet.

flowers from hubby

Overall, recovery has been easier so far than after Bear's birth. Oh, I am still exhausted. That won't change for about 18 years, I suspect. Little Guy is nursing better than his sister ever did, though I am still a bit anxious about weight gain, etc. Trying to relax. That's my biggest concern right now. (Yes, i did see a Lactation Consultant before I left the hospital.) He had dropped less than 8% of his birth weigh the morning we went home, considering he fasted after the circumcision, that's not too bad. But of course, I can't help but worry a bit. So pray for peace for Mama, lots of milk for baby, etc...

sweet feet

Home....

no play by plays like you are used to. :) we're doing well, tired of course. Brandon, aka "big shooter" as his daddy calls him and "squeaker" as i have dubbed him, is napping.
he is absolutely precious! last night was a making up for not eating night, so i am going to try to get some rest myself before he wakes up.

zann, i was already almost 3 cm at my last checkup, and by the time i was giving in to the fatigue and pain, it was too late... the epidural would have kicked in after the birth! i am still shocked that we made it through, and thankful. God definitely gave me the desire to try to deliver without the epidural (i did have to have iv meds for GBS+ and fluids, though). I am sure a longer labor would have been too much for me to take... when we left the house around 7-ish the contractions were 12-15 minutes apart, and my body kicked into full speed. I was barely on the IV for the amount of time they want the baby to get the medicine before delivery.

Hubby says next time we can hire 2 doulas, someone help me hold him to that, LOL! (If there is a next time, no rush here....)

Thank you!

Thanks for all your prayers and well-wishes! My Dad brought his laptop to the hospital tonight, so I am able to check comments. I'm sorry I don't have time to respond to everyone individually.

I am very tired, but things are going well overall. Becca summarized things very well. Our little guy is precious. He has been a sleepy-head today, not nursing quite as much, but I'm told that is normal following "boy surgery."

I thought I would share today's quips:

The anesthesiologist came in to check on me. "You're doing well? No back pain from the epidural?" he asked. "I feel great, I didn't actually get the epidural." Apparently I was on his list since I had signed the consent forms just in case. He congratulated me and and moved on to the next patient. I did tell him that by the time I had decided to ask for it I Was already dilated to 8cm and figured it wouldn't kick in in time to help. And I am very glad, still a little shocked, that I was able to make it through. I am normally a wimp with very little tolerance for pain, but with an awesome support team including my beloved. And if you have seen the business of being born, do not let it scare you into thinking all hospitals are unsupportive of goals for natural childbirth. If you make up your mind to try it, your doctors and nurses may just surprise you... especially if you bring a supportive spouse and doula along for the ride.

We let Hannah hold her little brother in the hospital bed, with pillow support, of course. She lifted up her shirt with the hand that was not around her brother, and stated, "I feed Brandon milk from my breasts."

Let the adventures in parenting two begin...

Lauren and baby Brandon are doing great! He is soooo cute (perhaps Aunt Becca is a little bit partial). He's an adorable little munk-a-chunk with the most perfectly round head that I've ever seen from a regular delivery. He doesn't have as much hair as Hannah did... he has most of his hair in the mullet area :) His hair looked sort of wavy on top a lot like Hannah's, so we'll see if he ends up with curly hair as well. Brandon is pretty laid back thus far and if the first few hours of his life are any indication, he may turn out to be an "easy" baby.
Joel did a great job coaching Lauren through her all natural child birth, along with the help of a doula. Lauren said that it was VERY hard, but very worth it. Although, she is pretty certain that if the labor lasted too much longer she wouldn't have been able to continue. I can certainly tell a difference between this recovery and the last one. When I (Becca) visited she was practically bouncing off the wall happy. Well, as much as a woman who just gave birth can be. She was so relaxed and able to get around well. Brandon is already eating and pooping like a champ! Hannah is already a very loving big sister.

Without further ado, here are some pics of the bouncing baby boy! GranWendy and I are staying the night with Hannah tonight, so these are the unedited photos. Hopefully I'll be able to share some better pics soon, but this will at least give you an idea. Enjoy!
P.S.- If Brandon looks mad in some pics, it's because he was getting a bath :)






















What's the big deal with that bright light?


(video to follow)...

brandon john arrived this afternoon at 12:18pm!
he weighed in at a healthy 8 lbs. 9oz and measured 21inches.
mom and baby are resting comfortably.
i've not spoken to wandering heart, but i'm sure she appreciates your prayers and well-wishes!

he's on his way...
a wandering heart went to the hospital about an hour ago.
please pray all goes as planned!

happy mcfamily and i will keep you posted

Silly Six Meme

I have been tagged by Kristi.

The rules are:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules.
3. Tell six unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag six bloggers by linking.
5. Leave a comment for each blogger.

OK, here goes:

1. I have a harmonica collection of about 15. I don't play any of them well. When I was in 5th grade, my parent bought me a harmonica because I liked playing my Grandpa's so well when we would visit him in NY. A neighbor's Uncle Ed came to visit and heard/saw me sitting on the front porch playing my harmonica (bet the neighbors loved that), and he sent me his collection. He died of cancer shortly after that. Conincidentally, Uncle Ed was from the Pacific Northwest, the same region where several of my blogging buddies reside.

2. I would rather do yard work than keep my house clean. Under normal circumstances. This far along in pregnancy, I am not up to either, though I have at least made myself keep up with laundry and dishes.

3. I am usually pretty laid back, but don't you dare mess up my everyday silverware drawer. It will drive me nuts until I can fix it. I've begun to notice since MIL came to help me "nest" that there are other certain things that must now be in their respective correct places. But the average person would never notice them. (She sorted my towels by color, I prefer to organize them by size and then color. For example, she had blue hand towels and washcloths in a stack with the bath towels. Well, I use them all at different rates, so for me it makes more sense to stack them according to towel type so the wash cloths and hand towels don't get lost in the stacks. I never realized that would bother me so much, considering how when I grew up we were just lucky if the linens didn't fall out of the closet onto us.)

4. I collect digital photos. On my computer. I do not print them out often enough.

5. I am addicted to Facebook. I have re-connected with a couple of people from elementary school, middle school, and cousins who I would not normally recognize if I passed them on a street thanks to FB. I'm getting to know more recently made friends better, too.

6. I find myself using phrases my Mom still uses with me when talking with my little girl. "I'm so glad your my daughter." One of Bear's favorite lullabies is a rendition of one Mom sang to us as kids. Pretty soon, as she starts gaining responsibilities, I'm sure, "I don't expect perfection, but appreciate the effort!" will be added to the list.
****

Okay, I played along. Now this little guy needs to come OUT! Seriously. I had some contractions after my last post, went to sleep, and they stopped. We're going on 41 weeks here. I can't imagine how people who gain TONS of weight manage... I'm approaching 30 lbs, and that's more than enough for me!

I tag Becca, Caslon, Becky, Jenn, Steph in TX, and Emily D.

good golly, miss molly

doc wasn't joking when she said there was lots of mucous. it decided to dislodge itself. i think my body is definitely getting ready... the question is, how long will the getting itself ready take?

no contractions since before dinner...

false alarm
(potentially tmi)

I woke up at 3 am to pee and felt extra moist. Went to the doctor, nothing more than my body prepping for the big event. It was not the extremely slow leak I had hoped it was.

Dilation is about the same (between 2 and 3), effacement has continued to 70-80%. So progress has been made.

My belly feels like a watermelon.

Still sporadic contractions, but nothing consistent, though talking on the phone tends to set them into gear. Too bad I don't feel like talking all the time!!!

So we're waiting until Wednesday for the NST and u/s. At that point, if Little Guy still hasn't decided to leave his cozy home, I will most likely request an induction for Thursday or Friday. I went into this trimester hoping to be able to find out what it's like for my body to start labor naturally. And the OB who was on call today respects that. She sympathetically yet flat out told me that there is no medical reason to induce at this point, when my body is showing signs that it is prepping for the big event. (Though they would do it if I asked them to.) So we're giving it a couple of more days, and praying, as we have every day for a week or so, that today is the big day. ;-) This doc also induced her first one and waited to go into labor on her own for the 2nd, so she obviously understands the emotional aspect of wanting to let how God designed us take it's course when it is possible. And she comforted me by saying that at the very end she was going crazy wondering, and she is a physician who sees women go through it all the time. God knew who needed to be on call today.

I took a good nap this afternoon and have a homemade chicken pot pie in the oven. I figured the heat from the oven could bring on contractions! (The crusts are the roll out kind, don't think I'm too insane.)

It's been a good day, overall.

So far, baby is still baking. But that's ok, he'll come when he's ready, or be evicted no later than Friday, I am sure. I felt loved by my church family, loved by my parents, hubby and daughter, and all those who called to wish me happy birthday and find out if Little Guy seemed any closer to making his appearance.

Little Guy danced in my womb during the worship service, and that is one of my favorite parts of pregnancy. We sang one of my all-time favorite hymns, "The Solid Rock."

If he comes tomorrow, he and his sister will have been born on the same day of their birth months. That would be nice. (My brother and I were born on the same day of our birth months, so it would be kind of like continuing a family tradition, plus make it easy to remember. The number would also be the same as one of her cousins.)

Pray for rest for me, I am tired and though I really want to meet my little one ASAP, a good night of sleep sure sounds appealing.

comforting words... and not so much

caslon called to wish me happy birthday and see if her newest nephew was showing any signs of making an appearance yet. her best friend from childhood was the youngest of 4, came the latest and the longest labor. while that might discouraged some, at least i know i am not alone in the waiting game. i keep reminding myself he's not a week late yet.

then gramma m called to wish me happy birthday and tell me a girl in her church gave birth this morning. good for her!

little guy has definitely dropped lower, there are some early signs that he could come soon, but they are the kinds subtle of signs that mean "soon" could be 8 hours away or 2 weeks away, because every woman, her pregnancy and baby are different. but some signs are better than none at all. and there are still 8 hours left in the day, so while not probably, the arrival of my little guy on my birthday could be possible.

after church, mom and dad treated us to lunch. they were not-so-secretly hoping my water would break or contractions would set it while all of us were together.

bear is awake from her nap and calling my name. time to waddle downstairs. maybe i'll let her tackle me and see if that helps bring on labor.

aah...
I can breath a little better. Of course, I am peeing more and my belly rests on my thighs when I sit up with my back straight.

Today was restful, except for the occasional Braxton Hicks and one pretty crazy back spasm. And while my solitary walk was peaceful, that hardly qualifies as restful when you are 9+ months pregnant.

If I am so motivated, I might write a new verse to the tune of the Christmas carol, "Here we come a caroling."

Here I come a waddling.
Along the streets so hard.
Here I come a waddling,
past the neighbors' yards....

Okay, someone else can finish it for me. I don't feel like thinking that much.

wild things

we have a "pet" canary. it's lime green with black, and it lives in our birch tree. i assume that it was someone else's pet, it got away, and now it likes us well enough to stick around our yard. two days ago, it flew right up next to me on the sidewalk, and when i whistled at it, it whistled back. yesterday, it flew next to me and bear on the front porch and landed on the back of the chair, within 2 feet, staying for just a moment. i went inside for my camera, but it did not return.

mr. woodchuck has also been returning to munch on our lousy excuse for a lawn just about every morning. we have given up watering, so it must like crunchy grass.

and last, but not least, hubby got his new battery for his motorcycle and is out for a morning ride. he washed his baby last night. i'm tempted to jump on the back for a ride when he returns. if i can fit.

waiting...

still....

does a rushing increase in hormonal responses mean labor is eminent? because my mood swings are not getting any better.... maybe i just need prozac...

Update on the twins

My friend's sister and her twin boys are on their way home to GA. She is on meds to keep her body from going into labor (it may want to, thinking the surgery was labor). She is also on meds for Joseph's heart. They could not find Little Joe (Joshua's) bladder during surgery.

Still a lot of uncertainty for this precious family. Please pray for God to take care of Mommy and the little ones who are growing inside of her!!!


Also, my friend Sandy(the sister of the Mommy) is expecting a little one in December, so keep her and her little one in your prayers, too!

Update on little Joseph....

He passed away at the age of 4. Please pray for his family.



******
BTW, yes I know sleep can help relax the body to bring on labor, too.
I tried to get to sleep, it didn't happen. Let's hope the 2nd time is the charm! (At least for the sleep part, the whole waiting game is not ALL that terrible unless I am trying to get up from lying down. Or get to sleep.)

because i'm obsessed...

pardon the richard simmons 'do on bear. she apparently sleeps like her mommy...
all over the place. my hair is a tad bit more forgiving. anyway, she has decided her bouncy ball is an exercise ball, but her feet don't touch the floor. it makes keeping my balance a bit more difficult.

tonight, before mexican food

Just for kicks... and in case I get desperate.

What natural labor-inducers have any of you tried that worked? Castor oil is out of the question, don't even bother suggesting that. I'm thinking more along the lines of foods, something that might actually provide nourishment for me and baby (and preferably taste good). Walking and assorted household chores are apparently not going to work. Of course, Doc says they are all wives tales, etc... but I figure what's the harm in trying (some of them, at least).

40 week self-portrait

... well, the most prominent physical part of my self right now.

I've been trying to keep myself occupied by keeping up with dishes, laundry, etc.... The hike halfway down the biggest hill in the subdivision did not make a lick of difference. I thought about ringing my friend Katrin's doorbell at 7 a.m. to see if the magic Xocaii chocolates she sells will induce labor. But I abstained, my mom taught me not to disturb people before 9 a.m. (Though sometimes she forgets that rule herself.)

keep praying for Andy (and his family)

A month ago, he was wounded by a sniper in the line of duty in Afghanistan. Check out his sister, Sarah's, blog for the details.

the waiting game

he's still bakin'. my weight was the same as last week, still measuring good, doc d said the cervix is softening nicely and i am closer to 3 cm, effacement probably about 50% still. but of course those stats don't mean anything, except that's almost 3 cm less that i have to open up to push this baby out of me when the time comes. he's in a good position, but she didn't feel around enough to check for a station, which is fine by me. her philosophy is he'll come when he's ready or no later than 41 weeks when it's pretty much their office's standard to evict, i mean induce.

if for some reason he decides to stick it out til next week, i will go back next wednesday for an ultrasound to check amniotic fluid levels and a non-stress test. but he's definitely still kicking in there, heart rate was good, yada, yada, yada....

hubby predicts we'll meet our little one within the next 3 days. parents predict the side effects from the tropical storm will work their way up here and bring on the action no later than my birthday. but they also predicted the full moon would bring him out. i do think the increases in twinges, hip/pelvis aches, braxton hicks that i've felt over the past couple of days can't be bad signs.

I went for a walk all by myself.

The last time I did that was on the beach in Gulf Shores last summer. I walked up to what I call the "war zone", across the neighborhood where the developer abandoned partially finished homes when he went bankrupt. And of course, I walked home. I'll take the undeveloped, growing back in lots behind us over barely framed houses to stare at any day.

The walk was good, no major contractions or loss of mucous or water breaking yet. So I guess you could say all is status quo, still.

Hubby is working at home, so he kept an ear out for Bear while I walked... and she stayed asleep until I returned.

And on the 1st night of the 40th week....

Lauren rested. Mostly. Getting up every 2 hours is not completely restful, but I've grown so accustomed to it that it's not a big deal anymore. The cramps/mild contractions/whatever they were fizzled by 1 a.m. (They were like half as bad as my regular pms cramps, nothing major. But when you haven't felt anything like that in months, well you can't help but wonder.)

Maybe I should go for a quick walk while Bear is still sleeping, it's not too hot out yet, and hubby is home in case Bear does wake up. (He's working from home today.)

wondering...

is tonight the night? tomorrow? we'll see...

definitely having some crampiness... still irregular. getting up and down from any type of sitting position is, well, comical at best, sometimes painful. especially when bear helps me up and grunts as she tugs.

stay tuned... i'm watching some gymnastics and breathing a sigh of relief that at least i got the dishes from last night and tonight done, so if mom does have to come over she won't have to clean up my mess. maybe if i scrub some toilets or swiffer the kitchen floor, that will send me over the edge into labor... but that would require the nesting instinct that God didn't give me. ;)

my 40 week check up is tomorrow afternoon, 2:20 or so. i wonder if mom and dad will have to meet us at the hospital afterward. i can't help but hope....

One of my neighbors is hosting a craft n' chat night at her house tonight. Well, I decided it was time for me to go ahead and stock up on yarn. And unless something changes drastically in the next few hours, the girls' night will be a welcome change of focus. Of course, Bear so sweetly asked, "Mommy, will you make me a blanket?" So the multi-colored yarn is hers.

Pray for these babies!

My friend Sandy's sister is pregnant with twin boys, Joseph and Joshua. They are due in November, and recent tests show that the healthy baby is measuring at 25 weeks (1lb 12 oz.), but his brother is measuring at just 18 weeks (11 oz.). They are currently seeing a specialist in Cincinnati to see if they are candidates for surgery that would enable them to share blood flow so they both get proper nutrition. Tests from last week showed that the smaller baby only gets 20% of the placenta, and the larger baby's heart is enlarged and beginning to have heart failure. The only hope for either baby is to do the procedure to share the blood flow more effectively, but the placenta is located in front, which will add an additional level of difficulty.

Please pray for Kathy and he husband Charlie, and for these two precious little boys. Pray for wisdom and skill for the doctors as they perform the surgery this morning!

bloggy baby fun

make your predictions in the comments for this post...

1) how much do you think lauren's baby will weigh at birth (lbs., oz.)?
2) how long do you think he'll be?

oh, and in case you are wondering, as of tonight my belly button is basically completely flat. not an innie or an outie.

labor dust is in the air!

just not my air yet. congratulations to my friend lisa from women@home on the birth of her little boy! her estimated due date was august 28th.

An invitation for parents in Middle Tennessee:For more info, click HERE

the 39 week check-up went well.

no big changes since last week. my blood pressure was up a little but still within the normal range. when i asked the ob if that meant i probably won't have a full moon baby tomorrow, she offered a disclaimer but said "probably not. he's still pretty high up there." she thought for a moment...

"the full moon's this weekend?" she asked.
"yup."
"woo-hoo, i'm not on call for once!" (maybe she didn't say w00-hoo, i don't remember for sure.)
"so there IS something to the whole full-moon theory?" i asked.
"absolutely, they don't call them lunatics for nothing!"

will it be today?

now that i am in my last week before little guy's estimated due date, i can't help but wonder. i slept well last night, well, from 1:30 to 6:00 this morning. as i vacuumed the bonus room i made a point to vacuum under the couch cushions, and let's just say it was greatly needed. that counts as nesting, doesn't it? who in their right mind vacuums at 11:00 p.m.?

my theory is that if i go to this afternoon's 39-week appointment with bags packed and in the car, he won't come today. but if i go unprepared, he will.

warning: prone to moodiness

ok, if you know me, you know that's not abnormal. but until yesterday, i was feeling pretty level-headed and even-keeled.

does an increase in moodiness signify an onset of labor? because if it does, then i'm going to have to change my voice mail greeting before next wednesday...

oh, and for the record, don't interrupt me while i'm chopping watermelon with a long knife. apparently my tone changes and i don't sound "okay" through the phone. you may be tempted to ask me if i am sure i'm ok. of course, i could have not answered the call....

Pray for Joseph

A new blog to check out, and a new little boy to pray for. He's fighting a brain tumor.

39 week bump watch

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

At this point in my first pregnancy,

just shy of 3 years ago....

... we met our daughter.

39 week funk

Yep, that's how I feel today. I've been up since 3:30, wide awake for no reason. No contractions, so don't get your hopes up. Although I did have a couple of pretty good Braxton Hicks yesterday afternoon.

When I created the poll in the sidebar, I did not realize there's a full moon this weekend. Apparently my parents' friends think Little Guy will come on Saturday if he has not pushed his way out before then.

Right now, I just want sleep.

Chapman Family Interview

Here's the link to the interview which was aired on Good Morning America this week...

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=5524419

congratulations to zann and her hubby, j, on the birth of their little girl!
and canine big sister, sasha, who has no idea how her life is about to change.

nothin' a little retail therapy can't fix

so, i got to my check-up today. everything was going smoothly.

weight? 165 lbs. check
blood pressure? still great
baby's heartbeat? 145 bpm
progress? 2 cm, 50%
position? head first
size? can't REALLY tell, but no more than 7 1/2 lbs, possibly less
if he doesn't come on his own by 41 weeks, induction will be eminent. we've got a bit to go for that.

and oh, by the way, since i tested + for group b strep, i get to have penicillin iv'd through me. what happened to the phone call with the results? am i sooo laid back that i come across like i don't care? what if i had gone into labor this week and did not know i would need the iv's, took my precious time getting to the hospital, and then not been able to get the meds? i'm sure it would have been fine, but i was a bit irritated.

oh, well. now i have some super cute itsy bitsy newborn socks and caps and a super snuggly blanket and snuggle toy set for my little guy (for bear to give to him), 2 pair of lightweight pants for bear to wear with her plethora of t-shirts, and a present for bear from her little brother. i tried not to let the fact that kohl's doesn't carry nursing tops or bras spoil my therapy session.

38 weeks

Where has the time gone? I have been blessed with a smooth pregnancy. What has stood out the most has been the process of seeing our little girl "get it". Now, I am not blind to the fact that she doesn't yet understand all the ways her life is about to change (or mine, for that matter). But it is not uncommon for her to just come up and give my belly a hug, kiss, or both. She talks about him as if he were already here, which he is in a way. She is growing into such a big girl, and while it excites and awes me, part of me wants to scream, "No!!!! Don't grow up so fast!!!" I am amazed by her sense of logic and reason at a young age. And order. She already has the gift of communication and draws conclusions that some teenagers would not verbalize. She likes to help and that is going to come in handy when we need diapers, wipes, another blankie, etc.... Yet I also want to remember to not push her to grow up too fast, to encourage her to experiment... to play with caterpillars, pick tomatoes, paint her craft in her own way without fretting about the mess. There is a time and place for order, and there is a time and place for creativity.

Oh, wait, this entry was supposed to be about my 38th week of pregnancy with our little guy. Well, my check-up is not until tomorrow, so not much to report statistically today. Occasional Braxton Hicks, but nothing major. My biggest complaints are heartburn and getting up from the couch or in and out of bed. I am trying to go for walks once a day or so, or at least every other day....

I love feeling the movements inside, even when I get jabbed in the ribs or my bladder hurts. Bear was never as continuously active as Little Guy has been, and I can't help but wonder if that's an indication of his temperament. Or just a boy vs. girl difference.

I am a bit anxious about nursing, since it was so hard with Bear and she had such difficulty gaining weight at first, but trying not to worry about it.

I am looking forward to having hubby home instead of having him rush off to training 8 hours away. In fact, I'm looking forward to (hopefully) going into labor on my own, when my body and baby are ready. In that sense, this almost feels like a first pregnancy... without the fear of the complete unknown of labor, since I have labored before.

I am also a bit sad. I have several friends online and in real life who have lost babies during the time that I have been pregnant, one has lost her 2nd. (The first would have been due this week.) So I mourn for my friends, Moms who are wondering "why?", and wish they could experiece the journey of motherhood without the pain. I pray that they will not lose hope, that the Lord will bless them with healthy pregnancies and children.

This is a milestone week. Almost 3 years ago, I went into my 38-week check-up and my doctor offered the induction the next week because she knew our circumstances. That was best for us.
This time, I revel in the mystery and expectation... with a few aches and pains along the way. It's exciting!

Another Tackle in Progress

"word scramble"

I asked Bear if we should paint the letters green to match her name above her bed, or blue.
"Brother likes blue!" she responded.

Meanwhile, Bear tackled her own painting project, mixing the two colors.
And miraculously, she did not get any blue paint on her shirt.

Tackle It "Tuesday"

As previously posted, my MIL came to help me nest, since God apparently forgot to put that instinct into my gene pool. (My sister must have got all of those genes, because I don't think my brother got any of them, either).

Here are some photos which show what we accomplished:

This photo represents the "before", even though it was taken after. Except for the motorcycle and tools in the background, all of these boxes were cleared out during our tackle.

After:

Hubby and Dad-in-law moved the top 2 shelves up to the top notch, then bought and installed the mug and small-plate shelves. They worked with the holes that came in the cabinets.

Organized spice/seasoning cabinet.
The containers with the white faces hold packets, loose tea bags and other oddly shaped items which normally would fall out. Tech Mom found them under a cabinet at work, no longer in use. The used to hold prescription samples, before their filing went high tech. We covered the blatant drug logo with white contact paper. She also brought me the 3 tiered expandable insert for the spices.

The re-organized hall/kitchen storage closet.
The paper goods and griddle had been falling out every time I opened the door. We moved the tall glasses into their home in the kitchen cabinets after hubby and Dad in law added the extra shelves. That got rid of a box and created usable and greatly needed space.

"Bear" in front of the linen closet.
Table cloths and other miscellaneous linens packed away in the tote.
(Yes, I do brush her hair. Sometimes. She asked to be in the picture.)

Bear and Little Guy's closet.

Yesterday I managed to keep my kitchen clean, keep up with laundry as much as I can (I still need to go through my clothes), and organize the cabinet under my bathroom sink. (Hubby's is not quite the disaster area.) I also vacuumed the utility room, including behind the washer and dryer, which got rid of the mess of dust-bunnies and other debris that somehow accumulate so quickly.

And thanks again to the World's Greatest Mother-in-Law! (Who really needs to update her blog, by the way.)


So, those are the main tackles from this week. Thanks for stopping by! Be sure to visit the Tackle it Tuesday HQ by clicking on the banner at the top of this post.

i <3 craigs list

hubby reposted some things on craig's list over the weekend.... some of his old electronic "boy toys" that have been packed away, an antique-style sofa and chair set. in all honesty, we use the chair in our room, but the sofa is really more for piling pillows and blankets in the bonus room, and we could use that space for other things. we have at least 2 people who've expressed interest in it (there was a 3rd, but apparently i was too slow in getting back to her with a response... she e-mailed me during church yesterday, i didnt get it til last night, she found another one in between), and a while back we sold an old vhs vcr, and tonight we sold his amp. we are too lazy to mess with pay pal and e-bay shipping arrangements... so far the whole craigs list thing is definitely worth the time and effort. it certainly beats sitting out in the smothering heat for a yard sale.

are you my conscience?

or rather, is my mother-in-law my nesting instinct?

if you've read my blog, or know me in real life, i've made it pretty obvious that i am domestically challenged. at times, i am what you call a "defeated perfectionist" who suffers from "analysis paralysis." i made a spreadsheet of several nesting projects, room-by-room about a month ago. then i got so overwhelmed by the magnitude that i have really only done a few things here and there, the bare minimum. of course, getting sick didn't help, but i honestly can't blame my lack-of-productivity on just one week.

a few weeks back, tech mom asked if i wanted her to come help tackle some of the projects around the house. this weekend became the chosen weekend for our tackles.

today was our "tackle it tuesday", weekend edition. we:

• cleaned out all except 2 of the cabinets in the kitchen (one will be easy, the other, well, this pregnant woman won't be leaning into the corner cabinet any time soon)
• cleaned out and reorganized the hall "pantry" which is really a storage closet for kitchen stuff that doesn't fit in my cupboards because the floor plan is so darn open we have limited cabinet space.
• reorganized the microwave cart/cleaned out the microwave/threw out old phone books
• went through old baby clothes... set aside several boxes for goodwill, boxes to give back to sis in law to go through to see what she wants to keep in case they have a surprise 3rd daughter, kept several plastic totes "just in case", since hubby and i are open to the idea of more kids in the future, reorganized bear's dresser and closet
• threw out a bunch of junk... boxes, plastic bags, old gift bags, store hangers

not only did she help with all that cleaning, she brought a few things to help me utilize my space more efficiently... spice steps for the spice cabinet, lid baskets for tupperware/gladwarelids, and 2 small wire shelves.

plus, hubby and his dad took bear along on a trip to lowe's to buy previously mentioned totes and some shoe box-sized clear boxes. they also took one of the shelves out of the kitchen cabinets, bought 2 more just like it, and installed them. you see, our builder put in these nice tall cabinets for us, claiming they were an "included upgrade" but they should have put in at least one more shelf. so now some glasses which were in storage in their box on the floor of the hall closet have a home in my kitchen cabinets. we actually had more kitchen cabinet space in our 1000 square foot apartment than we do here.

bear was a really good girl all day. she kept trying to find ways to help, and as we sorted through her old shoes, she decided to squeeze into her squeaky shoes and run around the house in them. then she decided she did not like where mommy put her current shoes in her closet and set them up the way she liked them. she also helped carry good hangers from "ground zero" in the guest room back into her bedroom, which was actually a huge help so i did not have to squat to pick them up off the floor.

so, here is a list of projects left to tackle, hopefully before baby boy makes his appearance:

in the kitchen:

• clean out junk drawer in kitchen
• clean out cookie sheet cabinet: done Sunday (thanks, Tech Mom!)
  
• clean out big awkward pot/pan cabinet:done (thanks, Tech Mom!)
  
• clean off counter (begun)
  

in the nursery:

• put crib side back on toddler bed and raise mattress
• put batteries in mobile and set it back up
• finish washing little guy's clothes
  
• organize little guy's dresser a bit better (done Sunday)
  
• organize crib sheets and blankets in closet shelves (done Sunday)

master bedroom:

• clean off my dresser
• clean out my dresser... go through clothes, get rid of the size 6's which i will never squeze into again after birthing 2 children
• clean mirror on dresser
• set up mini pack and play (sheets are washed)

miscellany:

• put cleaned bouncy seat and car seat covers back on their respective homes
• put clean boppy cover on pillow (done Sunday)
  
• go to publix and use my baby club buy one get one free coupons on miscellaneous needs for little guy

bathrooms:

• thoroughly scrub/clean everything one more time (it's been almost 2 weeks... sigh)
• clean out and reorganize cabinets and drawers. (1 done, 1 to go, thanks to tech mom)
  

utility room:

• clean out and reorganize tall cabinet (done Sunday)
  
• "dust" top of dryer and washer again (just did it a couple of weeks ago) (done Sunday)
  
• vacuum and mop floor
• vacuum corners and behind washer and dryer

oh yeah:

• pack hospital bag for me and baby
• pack a "just in case" bag in the event we have to drag bear to the hospital with us to meet my parents there, in case there is not time for them to make it to our house before we leave for the hospital
  

there's still a lot to do, but i am so thankful for the help i had this weekend. and thankfully, if our little guy were to decide to come tomorrow, it will only take a couple of minutes for hubby to put the cover back on the car seat and set up the mini pack and play next to our bed.

thanks, tech mom, for all of your help!!!!! i couldn't have done it without you (and without tech dad and hubby keeping bear occupied)

so, today tech mom decided she was on a roll and wanted to get more done... did she ever. in addition to the things listed in brown on the above list, she reorganized my linen closet. we packed away some table cloths and other linens that we don't use very often in a tote in the bottom of the closet, which basically made an extra shelf on which to put the recently laundered baby bath towels.

after church and lunch, i also tackled a couple of things, listed in red.

mom's day out

my neighbor gina and i got to go out sans kids this afternoon, since our hubbies were off work. we got pedicures and then hit babies r us, which had an extra 20% off the clearance items. little guy made out pretty well, thanks to gina's knack for finding the good deals on the rack. (i typically lack the patience and move on before i come across the $2-$3 items).

belly shots- 37 weeks

outgrowing my motherhood tank (it has shrunk a lot, too)

cast your vote in the poll in the sidebar:
will my belly-button turn into an "outie" before little guy's birth?

Not-so Wordless Wednesday:
he's already spoiled (or maybe mommy is the spoiled one)


You have already seen the taggie blanket made by my friend Farmwife,
and the blanket a crocheted for our Little Guy,
These are some other handmade gifts which we have received.
Of course, all the clothes and other items we have been given are equally appreciated,
but I just can't take pictures of everything (believe it or not).

From top left, clockwise:
sling made by Tech Mom, blanket & burp cloth made by my friend Heather
blanket and soap from Mirella, and matching bib and burp cloth from Becca
(made by one of her online friends)

things that make you go hmmm... at around 37 weeks

I had some odd cramping today, and I wasn't sure if it was Braxton Hicks or my appendix or what. It was a tightening on my lower right side, which sort of went to my lower back, and it lasted for 15 minutes. I tried walking. It got worse. I sat down and drank juice. It stayed the same. Finally, I sent Bear upstairs to get our exercise ball, which she was happy to do. She usually gets scolded for pushing it down the steps. Sitting on that thing and bouncing was the only thing that provided relief. It will be coming to the hospital with us when the time comes. So I moved it into the room where I had been folding laundry when the cramp hit, and sat on it as I folded my laundry. Then, Bear took her bouncy ball in and tried to copy me!

I also decided today was the day to let go of my paranoia that the u/s is wrong and wash our little guy's newborn clothes and blankets... just in case.

No major weird cramps or contractions since then, but considering how close we're getting...
I should probably think about packing my hospital bag soon, too.

nesting

our mama bird is back. these photos were taken about 10 days apart. hubby had removed the old nest after the hatchlings flew away, but about 2 weeks ago i noticed one of the bird couples (wren) hanging around. the mama bird built the nest, the papa bird sat perched on the nearby windchimes as he supervised or protected, i'm not sure which.

since then, i think mama is working on laying her eggs. it's too high up to see if they are there yet, but she is acting like that's what she's doing... laying them or keeping them warm.

you didn't really think this would be a post about pregnancy nesting, did you?

well, in case you did...

i have the space next to my bed cleared and clorox-wiped the baseboards and night stand. the nook is ready for the mini pack n play which will serve as a bassinet for little guy. (which is sill packed away. the sheets are in a closet. not sure which one- bear's or the linen closet.)

i swept and swiffered the kitchen floor.

not what i call a nesting frenzy, but when have i ever had one of those? still, my medication seems to be helping significantly, so perhaps there is hope for the domestically challenged....

The meeting went well.

I am looking forward to having an extra encourager during the labor process, one who has attended several different births and shares what I see as a similar balanced view of childbirth... an appreciation for the science we have available when it's needed, with the recognition that every aspect is not always necessary. I've found that the whole birthing discussion can be polarizing... some people are sooo natural childbirth oriented, they come across as almost militant and unrealistic. On the opposite end of the spectrum, some women assume that because they are so common, the epidural and pitocin should just be standard fare because ,"why on earth would you want to feel the pain?" Of course, every woman has to decide whether or not the benefits outweigh the potential risks for her baby and herself, and when labor comes, what that threshold of manageable pain is.

I have a propensity for fear of the unknown. Sometimes the Lord takes away those fears without human help, but other times He provides people or things to assist in overcoming them. In this case, it looks like He's provided a doula to be there along with my Beloved.

36-ish week check-up

Baby's HB: 158 bpm
Fundal Height: "perfectly on track"
My BP: good
My weight: 166... up 4 lbs... it's the thick jeans, i swear! i wasn't wearing my thick, long jeans with big-ol' belly band last week.
group b strep: awaiting results
and since she was already invading my privacy, and my curiousity got the best of me, she checked for the following:

dilation- 1 cm
effacement- 50%

Those stats don't mean anything as far as when to expect our little guy to push his way out, but it is nice to know my body is getting ready for the big day.

I'm meeting my prospective doula in person tonight. :)

*A decent night and morning's sleep, even if it was in 2 distinct chunks.
* Waking to the sound of my sweet Bear playing quietly in her room.
* Same Sweet Bear giggling (as her diaper tickled her bottom when she walked into my room. Discovering it really was not that wet, so perhaps night time training is not too far off afterall....)
* Codeine- thankfully I'm not allergic. I will be careful not to get addicted. But after it stops working. ;)
* Gentle rain for my flowers (though I hope it stops so hubby can go on his bike trip this afternoon/tomorrow. He's been looking forward to it.)
* A cuddly micro-fleece blanket.
* Someone to cuddle in the blanket with me. (Hubby or Bear, preferably.)
* My spirited niece is turning 7 today. Happy Birthday, Emily!!!!
* FREE FONTS from ScrapnFonts! Some really cute kid fonts. Limited time.

have i mentioned that i love codeine?

no, really... i could get addicted to the stuff. i've actually gone 5 minutes without coughing. maybe hubby and i will get some sleep tonight!

If I could have coughed out my baby...
(adventures in pregnancy and upper respiratory distress)

it would have happened last night. My allergies have been in full gear again for a few days. I've been taking my meds as prescribed (ironic that I want to minimize meds during labor, eh? I figure after being exposed to the contaminants that enable me to breathe and supply oxygen, it's not a bad idea to minimize exposure to others meds). Anyway, nights have been really, really rough. And don't bother calling me, because I can't talk without hacking into your ear, as much as I might want to. Well, about 12:00 last night I awoke with another coughing fit. It lasted 20 minutes, and I spent much of that time hurled over the porcelain throne. My fast-acting inhaler just made me gag more with the taste. And all the water I had been drinking... well, let's say it does not seem like kegel exercises have made much of a difference. (Yes, I am sure I am not leaking amniotic fluid. I know what my bladder feels like.) there was a point where I did start cramping enough to thing maybe there was a contraction, but it was very short lived. Still, I called hubby, who was out of town 2 1/2 hours away or so for work, and asked him to come home. I feared dehydration more than anything.

Finally, the attack ended. I was able to keep down some applesauce and some water. The inhaler that previously made my gag took its' desired effect, and I stuck a mint in my mouth and laid down. Well, at a 80 degee angle. But for the first time in 2 hours, I got rest.

Hubby arrived shortly afterward, and he has been a trooper... he stayed home and got up with Bear, letting me rest. After I returned home from the doctor (who adjusted my inhaler meds and prescribed an antibiotic and really strong cough syrup), he headed into work....

Anyway, thankfully I did not cough my baby out last night. He still has time left to cook.
But most of all, I'm thankful that my beloved was able to come home and take care of things. I hope the cough syrup that my doc prescribes so hubby can get some sleep tonight, since he didn't get much last night.